"Please tell me I'm in Jesse's bed and not Logan's." Were the first words out of my best friend the next morning, pinching the royal blue blanket between her index finger and thumb in disgust.

I stretched my legs out on top of Logan's comforter with a laugh. "Yes, that's Jesse's bed, Lea. I'm in Logan's."

"Does it smell like sex?" She asked, her disgust now directed to the blanket under me.

"What exactly does sex smell like, Huang?" Lea and I both looked to the doorway. Logan was standing in it, shirtless, hands tucked in his jean pockets.

She groaned, throwing herself back and throwing a pillow over her face dramatically. "Put a shirt on. Nobody wants to see any of that."

Logan flexed his arms as soon as she peeked over the pillow, winking in her direction. She groaned again, then made gagging sounds.

"Leave, Logan." She insisted.

"You're in my room, you're the one that needs to get out."

She sat up, looking at me weirdly. "Why aren't you throwing up at the sight of him without a shirt? Please tell me its some artistic thing like you like his tattoos or something."

I knew what she was insinuating but Logan jumped in before I could deny what she was saying.

"Well, Huang, you're sweet little friend here has seen much more of me than—"

"Wait, what?" She whirled on me, looking ready to smack me upside the head. "You didn't!"

I climbed off Logan's bed with a laugh. "No, Lea, I didn't. I walked in on him showering."

"Wasn't showering, I had just got done showering." Logan clarified like it mattered.

Lea, the dramatic girl she was, stomped out of the room, rubbing the image from her eyes. I rammed into Logan on my way out, shooting him a disapproving look. He only smiled in amusement and closed the door behind me.

"So, let me get this straight, you've seen Logan's dick?" Lea asked as we walked down the hall and into the living room. Adam spat the coffee that he'd been drinking out, drenching the table in it. Lea looked toward him for a moment, then back to me with a glare. "Please tell me you threw up at the sight of it."

"Why do you hate him so much?" I asked rather than answer her question.

She opened her mouth to say something but Collin walked in and looked toward the coffee all over the table, then to Adam. "What the hell happened?"

"What happened is Emily has seen Logan's dick and—" Collin held up a finger, stopping her, then started laughing.

"Lea, sweetheart, we have all seen Logan's little homie." Lea and I both looked at him, grossed out by the nickname. "I promise Emily looked very much embarrassed and disgusted and even put her hand over her eyes like a five-year-old."

My best friend looked satisfied by Collin's answer. She checked her phone, then cursed and smelt her shirt.

"I better get going. Mom has an interview at ten and I smell like Logan. I love you, Em." She squeezed my tightly against her.

Adam stood. "I'll walk you down."

"Of course, you will." Collin snorted. Adam flipped his roommate off as my best friend waved goodbye and they walked out.

Collin disappeared into the kitchen and walked out with a rag and swept up the mess Adam had left on the table.

"You busy today?" He asked, throwing a quick look my way. I felt one of my eyebrows quirk.

"Depends on why you're asking."

He grinned. "Nothing creepy or weird, I promise. I was wondering if you wanted to come to a barbeque my older sister is throwing."

"I thought your sister was younger than you." I didn't have to see his eyes to know he was rolling them.

"I can have more than one sister, baby girl." He tossed the rag back on the counter, his attention fully on me now. "So?"

I scratched at my arm nervously. "I don't really know you, Collin. I—"

"You don't really know Logan either." He stated the obvious. "But how do you expect to get to know us better if you don't give us a chance? I'd never put you in harms way, Emily."

I knew his last comment was a jab at Logan but didn't speak up on it.

"I think it'll be good for you." He added. "You know, being around people other than us and rich pricks."

Glancing back down the hall, I caught Logan resting his head against the door, obviously eavesdropping on the conversation. The right side of his mouth pulled up into a half smile before he ducked back into his room.

"Okay." I finally caved. "But I'm kind of awkward, so don't tell me you weren't warned."

*

I had expected the barbeque to be back in the area I'd been in last night with Logan, as Collin had said he'd grown up there. But upon deeper thought, it made sense that his older sister would have moved out of the area and into one a bit safer. I hadn't expected to pull up to a beautiful suburban area clear across town. It was the perfect little storybook house. Two stories, perfect little gated front yard, with a dog house in the middle of it. There was even a minivan parked in the driveway.

"Don't look so nervous." Collin nudged me with a smile. "I promise my family doesn't bite, Emily."

"Why'd you invite me?" I finally blurted. It was better I said it out here before we were surrounded by his families. "I mean, why not Adam or one of the other girls on campus?"

He touched his hand to the small of my back and gave me a gentle shove up the stone path through the dirt up to the front porch.

"Because you're my friend by default now." He leaned close and whispered. "Plus if I bring a girl, my brothers and sisters will stop giving me shit."

I shook my head, but couldn't fight that I was a little amused by it. As soon as we stepped foot on the porch, the door was thrown open and an elderly black woman grabbed Collin as if he were no more than a rag doll and crushed him against her.

"Nana, nana, ouch!" Collin groaned, I could tell he was embarrassed by the tone of his voice. "You're hurting me."

She released him and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. The woman then seemed to take in my presence on the porch. She was a beautiful woman, her graying dark curls and wrinkles on her forehead an around her eyes and mouth the only indication that she was older.

"My apologies, sweetie! I'm Jada, Collin's grandmother." She pulled me into a huge, thankfully not as tight as the one she'd just drained the life out of Collin with. "So nice to see our lil baby finally has a girlfriend."

"Emily." I smiled. "But I'm not—"

Collin draped his arm over my shoulder. "I will throw you in the pool out back if you correct her."

I didn't want to test whether the threat was a joke or not, and just smiled and followed the woman inside. The house was just as beautiful and quaint as it had been on the outside. Large portraits and family pictures hung on every lavender painted wall. A carpeted staircase led upstairs to what I'd assume was the bedrooms. The kitchen sat to our left when we walked in, an island lined with foiled casseroles and cases of soda and alcohol in the center of it. A few adults were lounged in the living room, making small talk, but I wasn't in there long enough to make them out. Collin's grandma led us to the sliding door in back, giving me a quick pat on the shoulder on her way back to the kitchen.

"I have arrived!" Collin exclaimed. All he got was a football thrown at his head in return. He must have forgotten I was there for a moment, because he grabbed the ball from the wooden floor beneath his feet and threw himself off the back porch and into the grass, chasing a young boy.

"Sometimes I have to question if he's really twenty-one and not ten." A woman's voice spoke up from behind me, followed by a quiet laugh. "But I love seeing him so happy and cleaned up."

I turned on my heel to face whoever had spoke up. The resemblance she had to Collin was uncanny. Though Jesse and I had similarities and you could tell we were brother and sister, the woman looked as if she were Collin's twin. She had the same chestnut skin tone, beautiful eyelashes that fanned her sharp cheekbones, and the full lips that were currently stretched in a grin I'd seen her brother wear.

"I'm Crista." She introduced herself, seeing I'd turned to look at her. "And that little monster Collin is chasing around is my son Devin."

"Emily." I replied, waving a little. Her eyebrows furrowed as if she'd heard the name before.

"Oh, you're Jesse's little sister, no?" She touched a hand to my cheek. "Definitely his sister. You're beautiful. You're parents must be attractive people."

I was about to thank her when Collin stalked back up the porch steps with the little boy hanging upside down.

"Mama, tell him to put me down!" The little boy, Devin, yelled. Collin did exactly that before his sister could order him to. Devin crossed his arms over his chest then huffed and puffed as ran back across the yard to join the rest of the children playing in a inflated pool. Collin watched after then hugged his sister, kissing her cheek softly.

"Don't you look good." She complimented him.

"Even got himself a white girl." Crista rolled her eyes at the comment, but I saw Collin's entire demeanor shift hearing the rude remark. "Always knew he'd disgrace the family."

Collin spun around and shoved another man a few feet behind him, holding a beer can in one hand, the other was up trying to block the blow he was anticipating from the taller boy.

"He don't mean that." Crista assured, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly. "He's drunk and Cal don't like that Collin ran off to college and left him."

"Keep your mouth shut." Collin grabbed who I was assuming was his younger brother by the throat. "Or I'll—"

"Enough!" A loud voice sounded through the yard. "Both of you! Before I beat your asses!"

Collin dropped his brother, slouching a little as they turned to face the man who'd stepped out on to the patio behind me. He towered over Crista and I, but held most of the features Collin and Crista shared, with the exception of his eyes being a little more rounded opposed to having a slight almond shape.

"What is the meanin' of this?" He shouted at the two boys.

"He's being a racist piece of shit." Collin shoved his brother.

The other man, Cal, gestured toward me. "He brought one of his rich white chicks here."

Collin's father eyed me as his younger son had for a second, then brushed the hostility off and approached me. "I'm sorry, he don't know what manners are. Col, get over here boy."

Collin fell into step beside me, looking almost embarrassed and a little scared. "Dad, this is Emily, Emily this is my father and that dick over there is my little brother Calvin."

"It's nice to see he ain't gettin' into shit for once." His dad said. "He the only one of us that got the chance to go to college, he better not screw shit up. That scholarship is carryin' you boy."

I saw Crista frown hearing the words, Collin deflated even more beside me, but kept his head up and tried to force a smile. "Yeah, I know Dad. I'm doing great."

"Good, boy." His dad smiled at me and nodded toward the swing behind Crista. "Now how about you tell me all about it."

*

Collin was a miserable sad sack on the way back home. His younger sister, who he'd been the closest with, hadn't been able to make it because she had work. His dad had hounded him for over an hour over everything, and his younger brother kept trying to make jabs at him to get him riled up. Crista had assured me that it was all normal, that all their family events were that way, but she stated that she felt sorry that her father was so hard on Collin. I knew it was tough love, and I think somewhere deep-down Collin did too.

"That was interesting." I broke the tension lingering heavily in the air. "Now I see how your able to handle Logan so well."

He shot me a dark look. "I shouldn't have brought you, but if I hadn't I probably would have done something stupid."

"Like?"

"Like knock my brother out and my dad probably woulda beat my ass for it." He sighed. "I'm trying so hard to get out of that life, but man, every time I go to one of my sister or Nana's cook outs, it's like I'm a child again. You would think he'd be happy for me."

"He is." I could tell my response shocked him, his head whipped in my direction. "He cares about you, Collin. It's just some really really tough love."

He shrugged, staring ahead with a sneer. "I guess. They all seemed to like you though."

"Collin, stop being so hard on yourself." I reached over the clutch and touched the top of his hand. "I'm fine, I had a good time. You really are doing great. You're at one of the biggest school's in New York, you have your own apartment, your own car, probably your own money. Don't forget where you came from, but it's awesome to know where you're going from here too."

He parked the car and turned the key in the ignition, slumping back against his seat. "I'm sorry. I'm over here bitching about my family and Jesse's. . ."

"Dead? Gone?" I looked straight ahead at the concrete post beside the car. "It's fine, Collin. You don't have to tiptoe around my feelings."

"Nah, babygirl, you need to stop tip toeing around your feelings." He said. "You act like his death doesn't affect you, like you're still in denial or something."

I rested my head against the cold window. "Maybe denial is my way of coping."

"The longer you hold it in, Emily, the harder you're going to break when you finally let it out."