I have calmed down and I try to ignore the surreal events happening around me and Harry. And I believe that I was not the one who killed Eleanor. I have to believe it.

Harry is still a little sad sometimes and so am I, we are both trying to process the girl's death. Maybe I should tell Liam about her. But I probably won't, that is a bad idea.

Today, Harry, Liam and I are going to a park. I love the way Harry acts around my best friend, so natural, not caring about his illness. The more time I spend with him, the more I love him. And, thank god, Liam is feeling better, his medication does help and it makes me get my hopes up. A few weeks ago, I had no Harry and no Liam and now, I have both of them.

After leaving the park, Liam goes home so Harry and I go to Harry's apartment. I haven't been here for weeks and I truly missed this place. Nothing has changed, to be honest, it is still lovely and Harry-scented.

My super hot boyfriend is searching for board games and I go into the bedroom. I sit down on the bed and look around. I spot his simple grey hoodie on the floor next to the bedside table and immediately put it on. This is one of my favorites. It is quite long and baggy because Harry is way taller than me but I don't mind at all, I think it fits me.

I look in the mirror and see that the hoodie even covers my thighs. I walk to the door but Harry hasn't found the board games yet so I go back into the bedroom and close the door. I take off the hoodie and my T-shirt but I put Harry's grey piece of clothing back on. Then, I take off my socks and my trousers. I hesitate for a second but I finally take off my boxers too, wearing only the hoodie. I take a look at myself in the mirror again and it covers everything that is necessary so I go back into the living room and see the monopoly on the floor.

Harry's jaw drops when he notices me and I blush like a teenage girl. He clears his throat and stares at my body.

"You wanna... ohm. Play?" he asks and his voice is deep and it is shaking.

I just smile and nod and sit down on the floor, carefully covering myself with the hoodie.

We start playing but I can feel Harry's gaze on me the whole time. After I win (obviously), he throws himself at me and we are laying on the floor, kissing and touching and he takes off my hoodie (which is basically his). He is staring at me with so much want in his eyes. But we don't go into the bedroom, we have sex on the couch.

Soon, we are both sweaty and panting and Harry kisses me one last time before he leaves to take a shower. The last fifteen minutes were amazing, I think I'm going to wear his hoodie more often if this is what it costs.

I am still dazed but I put my clothes back on and turn on the TV while I am waiting for Harry. I hear his phone buzzing more than once but I don't look at it. For like two minutes. But it keeps buzzing and buzzing so I go closer and see that the texts are from Niall Horan. I don't know the guy but I unlock Harry's phone and open the chat. The boy is talking about Eleanor but my boyfriend hasn't replied for days.

I take a look at the earlier texts and my heart skips a beat. A message from Niall literally says that Eleanor was poisoned. The world around me gets blurry but I can see the bathroom door opening and Harry entering the living room. I am just standing there with his phone in my hand, my lips parted. Haz runs to me and takes the phone out of my hand.

I look at him with tears in my eyes but he keeps staring at the floor.

"Harry, why did you lie?" I ask and now, I am the one whose voice is shaking.

"I just... I just didn't want you to feel bad or get hurt."

"Holy shit, Harry, I killed her," I scream.

He finally looks at me, his tears are flowing like a river. I start sobbing and I find it hard to breathe. Harry doesn't say anything, he sits down and I sit in his lap, my favorite place and I put my arms around his neck and rest my forehead against his chest. He gently rocks me with his arms wrapped around my body. He starts singing a lullaby, like I am a baby who is about to fall asleep and forget about the harsh, cold world. And I just cry, cry and cry, not knowing how to handle the fact that I have killed someone.