I wake up next morning and see that Harry is not lying next to me in bed. I start panicking. What if he realized that his boyfriend is basically a criminal? What if he is scared of me? Oh my god, I need to find him.

I run out of the bedroom and notice that Harry is making breakfast in the kitchen so I try to act normal, pretending that I wasn't thinking that he left me.

I lean closer to give him a kiss but he leans away. Fuck.

"You know, Louis, I've been thinking. I thought I knew you. But I never thought that you would kill someone... What if you get angry with me? You try to kill me? Like what the hell am I supposed to think?"

"You know that I would never harm you. And... I don't know, it just kind of happened. But you are not Eleanor, babe. I love you. And I guess I just need you to trust me."

I look into Harry's eyes. Deep inside, we both know that I love him more than my own life and I would never hurt him physically. Or emotionally. I guess I just need to prove it.

"Have I done anything to you? I mean, we were broken up and stuff but murdering you never crossed my mind," I laugh but Harry doesn't find my words funny.

"Come on, baby. I know you're freaked out because so am I. But I love you, do you understand? I love you, I love you, I love you," I repeat and I kiss his soft cheek.

I can see that Harry is still indecisive but he nods and we sit down to have breakfast. I love these moments, they make me feel like we are a real family, eating together at our home.

"Harry..." I begin. "Are you planning on telling anyone about Eleanor?"

"Hell no. We're in this together now," he smiles and I know that he is finally convinced that I am not crazy. Or at least that I know that I have made a mistake. A really huge and painful mistake.

But I start thinking. Maybe, I am crazy. I look at Harry and say what is on my mind.

"They say love can drive you crazy, my dear."

And I believe that it's true.

My boyfriend stands up and kisses the top of my head.

"I'm sure it can. And it did drive you crazy, boobear."

He squeezes my shoulder and I know that he is right. 

We spend the rest of the day together, just like normal couples do, except for the fact that we are not a normal couple. Because we are basically accomplices and I cannot thank Harry enough for keeping my secret. 

In the next few days, I have horrible nightmares about Eleanor. I keep seeing the bar and the vial... And it feels like I kill her every night again in my dreams. I haven't told Harry about this. I think he is complitely fine and happy. Which is also weird. But what can you do? We are both weird. As fuck.

At least, Liam is feeling better and better. He is a fighter, I have always known that. He doesn't know about Eleanor and I don't want to stress him so I will probably not tell him the story.

But every day, I am feeling more and more guilty. At work, at home, everywhere. Harry is trying to support me but he is just as sad and confused as I am.

One day, Harry and I are watching the news and see a father talking about his murdered daughter. My heart breaks and I just feel like I can't do this anymore, this is all too much. I burst into tears and throw myself into Harry's arms, my only safe place. He is caressing my back and I can taste his salty tears when I give him a kiss. This is us. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, partners in crime and I will always hate myself for dragging my love into this shit.