~Ben~

"What? Why?" The Kings are in Los Angeles, so the only thing I can think of is that her meeting didn't go well and that she's thinking about accepting the offer from the publishing house in California. But I don't understand how her meeting could have gone badly; her editor seemed thrilled when she sent her the first few chapters a few months ago.

"Janet refused my book. She wanted a sequel to The Tales and what I presented her wasn't one, and she won't publish anything else from me until she gets her sequel." I still don't understand. The book Eleanor showed me was the perfect sequel: it used the same characters in the same setting in the same time frame. What more does she want? I ask Eleanor this question and her face goes bright red. She looks down at the floor and starts playing with her fingers.

"I didn't send her the book I had you read. It was another one, a completely different one. Hockey isn't even a theme in that book." She chuckles lightly, but I don't find it funny at all.

"What happened to the other one? The one you had me read?" My heart beats faster in my chest. We were finally in a place where everything's good and I feel like she is going to throw another rock directly at my face.

"I couldn't write the epilogue. I'm still stuck on that damn ending that I can't write because we aren't at our end! What if I write something and we don't end up that way? What if I don't include more children and we have another one in the future? How is that kid going to feel? I didn't want to imagine our life just to have expectations after. I just couldn't do it, so I started something else, and, if you read it, I'm sure you'll see the similarities between our story and my characters'. I just couldn't do it, Ben." My brain is spinning; the little hamster in my head is doing overtime just to try and understand what she means. No matter how I turn it, I don't understand why the book needs an epilogue. When I ask her and she says that every book needs an epilogue, I lose it.

"No, Eleanor, not every book needs an epilogue! You're asking me to beg the LA Kings to give me an offer, so we can move there and start all over again? What about everything we have here?" I motion to the room around us to show what I am talking about. I'm trying really hard to not raise my voice to not scare Ophelia who is still peacefully eating her grapes.

"This book does, and I can't write it. And, yes, that's what I am asking you. I am asking you because I didn't hesitate to do it for you when you asked me almost five years ago. I moved to Windsor for you, why won't you even consider moving to LA for me?"

"I am considering it, why do you think we're having this conversation? But it's not that simple, what if I can't get an offer from The Kings? People know me here; they don't give a shit about me over there!" She grabs my hand from across the table to rub my palm with her thumb. How we managed to have this conversation without screaming I'll never know.

"How about you ask Connor to look into it first?" I nod, feeling my heart rate slow down. Maybe, if I can't get an offer from them, she'll reconsider.

Everything is going so well for us in New York. She has an editor that, in my opinion, isn't asking for much. I have a job that I love that is secured for at least one more year. We have a house and a car. We have friends, Tracy, Nathan, Matthew, Hannah (I think). We found the perfect daycare for Ophelia that she seems to enjoy. We have everything here; I don't want to move. New York finally feels like home, and I am not ready to leave it. The only positive things I can see in Los Angeles is the absence of cold and the fact that we would be a lot closer to our families and to Olive and Alex. But, at the same time, how can hockey hold a special place in a town that has never seen snow? Disregarding my apprehensions, I decide to call Connor anyway. I owe Eleanor at least that because she's right, she did it for me, why can't I do it for her?

"I don't know, Ben, I didn't send any feelers west because I thought you wanted to stay in New York. There are three teams in California: the Kings in LA, the Ducks in Anaheim, and the Sharks in San Jose. I'll see with the Kings and the Ducks if they have any openings, but it'll be hard; you aren't very popular there."

It's only about two weeks later, after a game (that we won) against The Capitals that I get news from Connor. It was about time, even if Eleanor and I said we wouldn't let this affect our relationship; it has in many ways. She was convinced I was stalling because I didn't want to make the move and I couldn't convince her it wasn't true because it was in a way. I was upset with her for making me consider this until I realized that she probably felt the same way back when I got drafted in Ontario instead of in BC. I couldn't be mad at her when I imagined the future years of our relationship. Maybe we'll have to move every year for a while until I get an offer that will last for more than a season somewhere we'll both want to stay. We'll have to do with what we have until we have the luxury to decide what we want.

"The Kings are opened to buying you out of your contract, Ben." Relief floods through me at the same time as anxiety creeps up in my veins. The way he said that, it announces a bad news. "But the offer is shit, honestly. You make more now. All because they have to buy you out from your 750 000$ contract of next year with the Islanders."

"What are they offering me?" It can't be that bad. It's the NHL, even the lowest salary is still higher than what most people earn.

"550. One year. No signing bonus or Type B bonuses possible. The only thing you might get is a Type A bonus if you perform as well there as you do with the Islanders." Wow, that is a shitty offer, especially if you consider that the Kings are very "cap-friendly" meaning that they, more often than not, offer new players the maximum salary of 925 000$ per season. But like I said, it's more money than I need. I still ask about the Ducks to see if we have another shot. "Not interested, you're too big of a risk, and they think it's not worth buying you out." Well that hits where it hurts.

"Ok, can I think about it?" I need to talk it through with Eleanor before giving him an answer.

He hums in agreement before saying: "I just don't want you to forget the Islanders' 750 000-dollar before bonuses offer or the Devils' 920 000$. And you would still benefit from the reputation you made this year instead of throwing it away."

I know all that, I just don't want Eleanor to sacrifice her dream for me one more time when I can do something about it. I guess we'll have an interesting conversation when I call her tonight...