I could not think of anything to cry or laugh at this joke. My finger and his finger are already tied together.  The water that flowed along it felt to me like lava, not water.  I did not want to do this anymore. 

 I wanted to break this thread that held the two of us together.  I wanted to snatch the Ceramics Pan kendi and hit the ground.  I wanted to scream like crazy or end this drama right here.  I wanted to scream and cry until the grief subsided.  

But as a result of not strong enough to do any of that, I stared at her who was the cause of it all. It has not been a few hours since she met me. But by now she had joined the crowd that I did not want to see in the world.

"Santhusha and I have been in love for five years now. Please let him go for me. " That was the first news I heard after eagerly dressing up the bride. "Even you don't have him you can still find good boys."

She said. Her saying reminded me of a memory I had always tried to forget.

"You're not going to get a boyfriend for your wickedness" was a word I often heard when I was working. Her statement and that statement are different from each other. But I hated her saying that much because they both said the same thing. From that moment on I wanted to get out of this marriage somehow.

"Are you crazy to tell me to stop the marriage now, Dewani? All the relatives came. Come from the side of the groom too. Have you ever wondered what would happen if the marriage ended? " Neither mother nor uncle was allowed me to choose. "At least think there are two more sisters to marry?"

"You mean, like, if they're really in love, they 're supposed to come first?" What did they do until your wedding day? " Uncle said. No one in my generation broke up a marriage on the day of the wedding. No matter how much I wanted to be the first, I did not want to do that ever.

Whatever happened, I controlled my thoughts as much as I could. No matter how I felt, I did not want to be so serious as to lose consciousness on the poruwa. If so, I knew the experience I would have to face would not be satisfactory. It is time to protect my dignity to the fullest.

"Kisa" For the first time in his life, Santhusha Rajapaksa called me by name. It is the moment of getting down from the poruwa after the rituals are over. That too was not in love with me. "You know. You and I both didn't want this wedding. Marriage is not voluntary. Whatever happened happened. So act like my wife. "

How funny? My own husband telling his own wife to act as his wife. 

Acting. That's what I've done all my life so far. The thing I dislike the most. Forgetting my rights on behalf of another and playing that person's role. I hated it. I hated it all my life. I thought I would be able to play my role in life even after marriage. I had high hopes for the sky. It was as if it had all been dissolved in water.

So in the end I had to be second in the marriage too. I had to play her role. I also hated Santhusha Rajapaksa who told me to act as much as I could. Didn't he and she get together and pull me back into the life I was made to recover?