I wake up every night during the holidays... All because of one nightmare. Kill me. I lay down on my bed in the dorms, I let Momo remodel it 'sweet'. I look at the ceiling. "What am I doing? Why?" I say turning my head to my desk, it's a mess. "I need to clean it" I sit up and get up. My vision becomes blurry.  

I stand there for a second than go to my desk cleaning it up. I put my pencils away in a cup. I heard something behind me, I turn around seeing a portal. I back up and watch as the league stepped out. I stayed quiet in the corner. Dabi turns around "Well looks like you're awake" The others turn to me as he said that. "What do you want? Why are you here?" I question them. "We're just here to talk" Deku shows up, from behind All for One. My eyes widen "I-i-i thought..." My voice freezes up. Deku walks over to me I look up at him, hair in my eyes. "You guys can go do what you wanted to do" He mentions them away "What are you doing? I thought you-" I try to continue but I get choked up. He moves my hair out my eyes.

He hugs my sides. "I said get out please" Deku turns to the others and they finally walk out. "I missed you so much" He finally says, Swaying from side to side, "I'm sorry the others, didn't tell you that I was the traitor". I try to get words out but can't make any, I remember the night before he left Bakugo yelled at me and the others let him. They didn't stop him till he smacked me. I snap back into reality as Deku kisses my sweet spot. My eyes roll back from the movement, but I stay silent.

"Aww, you're so quiet, you know I don't like it when your so quiet" He says, I turn my head remembering my nightmares. He grabs my cheeks "Hey look at me. I'm sorry" Deku says picking me up to carry me into bed. Once he lay me down I grab my blanket and curl up crying. I feel him staring at me. "Did something happen?" He asks hold me to his chest, "I-i nightmares" Is all I can get out "Aww shh I'm here now" He hold me tighter.

I look up at him as he starts to play with my hair. I close my eyes falling asleep. I feel asleep and hand no nightmares. I wake up looking around seeing a new room, yawning. I get up walking around. I trip on clothes with a loud bang and hear someone run out the bathroom. It's Deku. "Are you okay?" He yelled out, running out the bathroom without anything on, "Oh dear all might! Where are your clothes!" I exclaim. He walk to his dresser and puts his boxers on. He walks back to me "You've seen me naked" He says helping me up "I know but I just woke up and tripped on-" I look down at what I tripped on his dirty boxers "OH ewww" I cry out. "Aww Sh what's wrong" he laughs "I fell on your underwear! You know I hate dirty clothes." I cry. 

After a bit, I take a shower and get dressed in one of his hoodies. "Look at you in my hoodie I haven't seen you in once since I left two years ago". I look at him and turn to him sitting on his bed, smirking. He walks over holding my hand above my head "I want to show you something" he says "Alrighty" I respond. He helps me up holding my sides showing me... A pool of blood with everyone I love dead...

"NO" I yell wake up in my room. I look around breathing heavily I grab my phone seeing it the next day. "It was just a dream Shoto... nothing else. I get up seeing my desk is a mess. I get up and clean it quickly. I go out on the porch and smoke a cig. I cough at the cold air. I don't like smoking I only started to do it, because I'm lonely. I feel cold tears run down my face, I wipe it and take the cig crushing it. "Ugh why did you have to be the traitor" I sit down and go on my phone crying looking at picture of us. I curl up remembering everything we did together. I put my phone down sitting in my own thoughts crying.

I get up and go downstairs to get a snack, I look at the microwave. 3:33 am. "I never thought I'd be up this late thinking about him..." I say to myself. When Midoriya left everyone was surprised, I was hurt... he helped me... he lied to me. I look in the fridge and find leftover cold soba, Iida made it for me but I couldn't eat it. I grab it and sit down looking outside eating the soba. Iida came down "What are you doing up Todoroki?" He asked "Eating got hungry" I respond looking down and eating. "Oh okay, you alright?" He asked, I ignored him eating . He kept asking and I ignored him as I got up putting my bowl away, "Shut up!" I punched the counter. I look up at him pissed. "I know you aren't Iida, Toga" I look at my fist, 'Why did I punch the counter oww' I thought holding my hand. "Aww my love, why did you punch the counter" I feel someone hug me from behind, and I look back up and see the league. I look at the hands around me seeing scared up hands "Let go Izu" I muttered "What love?" He put his head in the crook of my neck. "Let go" I say a bit louder, he gives me the same response. "I said let go" I demand "Why should I love" He says. I push him off of me and walk away, Dabi goes to stop me, I turn and kick him in the chest "Don't touch me, I won't tell anyone just leave soon" I say turning back to go back to bed. "Don't you dare come near me again Deku" I stare at him. "Love why are you so mean to me" He responds. "Because I hate you. YOU LIED. YOU HURT ME" I yell and go back up to my dorm.

I get the feeling of having to throw up. I turn back and run to the bathroom in the common room. I get in a stall and threw up everything I ate. I feel someone grab my hair holding it back. "I'm sorry Sho. I know I lied to you and hurt you but give me a chance" Deku grinned. I stop throwing up, feeling my tears run down my face I  go limp in his arms. "Please don't lie to me again, I just need something good" I cried. I curl up and cry. I feel Deku l picking me up I wipe my eyes and see that he's walking to leave back to the league base. I hold on "You don't have to come if you don't want to" Deku says "I want to go with you plus it's lonely here since it's the holiday's" I respond yawning.

"Makes sense why you knew it was Toga and not Iida" He smirks. I close my eyes falling asleep, but able to hear everything going on for a bit. "Good night love" is the last thing I hear before it's silent. 

The next morning, I wake up on the couch with Deku still asleep. I get up carefully as not to wake him. I look around the base trying to find a bathroom. I walk passed a hall and turn back seeing the bathroom. I use it and throw up again, getting up to wash my face. I look myself in the mirror. I walk back out and fins my way back to Deku's arms holding on to him. "Where'd you go love?" I hear him say. "I need to use the restroom, and went to find it" He hold me down closer to his chest "Good, but next time tell me AfO will get mad if he finds a UA student walking around the base" He sternly speaks. "Yes sir" I respond. I lay there awake as Deku sits up and walks away. 

I want to follow him. "No Sho stay her or he'll get upset" I say to myself. I sit up looking around. When I feel a hand around my throat, I try to force them off. "Let go" I choke out. I look seeing it's AfO. "Why are you here!" he demands hold tighter, "P-please... As-sk" I choke up, it's getting harder to breathe. He let's go I fell to the floor coughing some blood. "Izu... talk to him..." I cough.

"IZUKU!" he yells, walking over to me forcing me up. I look up to see Deku coming over, "Let go I took him here. He's with me" Deku say quickly. "Why" he pulls me back when Deku tried grabbing me. I choke feeling my shirt push me back. "It's the holiday's and he was at the dorms alone" Deku responds. "Please I'm sorry if I was walking around" I say "Shut up" AfO throws me back into the wall. Him and Deku get into a heated fight, walking up everyone else and them all coming out watching. I stay pressed against the wall scared to doing anything, I determined AfO is unpredictable. "Did you get anything I asked for last night!" He yelled at Deku. Walking back to me and getting ready to grab my neck depending on Deku response. "I did. We did. but not anything from Sho's room. We had to leave fast because there was cameras'." He exclaimed. AfO looks down at me going to grab my neck. I move away. Making him pissed. "He did nothing!" The others yell. "Shut up!" He demanded "And you don't run" I turns back to me.

"Please don't hurt me..." I exclaimed "Shut up" He yelled in response and tried to grab my neck again. I moved, he grabbed my leg and twisted, I yelped. "I said don't run! brat!". Twisting my leg more, a yelled crack to heard. I see Dabi smirking at me mouthing "Bye Shoto" he waved. I turned seeing my knee out of place and my pointed the wrong way. Deku and AfO are still yelling. I force my leg out of his grab and get up, running.

(To be continued)

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I'm going to cut it short so it's not super long 

making the next chapter right after.