Elle

I sat on the sofa in the shared living area of Lee's dorm, flicking through a magazine, biding my time.

Lee barreled in through the door, slinging his backpack down, looking utterly wrecked.

"Hey, Lee." I said, deadpan.

"Hey, Elle," he mumbled. He came awake then, realization dawning that it was in fact not normal for me to just be sitting in his dorm. "ELLE?!!! What are you doing here?!"

"Lee, we've never had a birthday apart, did you really think I was going to let this year be the first?" I giggled.

Lee jumped on the sofa, swallowing me in a hug, squashing me.
"Elle, you have no idea how glad I am to see you. This exam week has been hell."

"I missed you too freak, now get off me, I can't breathe. Geez, have you been hitting the gym? You're so heavy."

Lee just grinned and flopped over to sit next to me. "How did you arrange this, exactly?"

I grinned at him smugly. "I have my ways.... but really Ashton helped me set this up."

"Well, I'm not sure if I approve of this unholy alliance you two have going, but if this is the result....wait, does that mean that Ashton's not driving back home with me?"

"Nope. He's flying back with Mila. You're stuck with me. And boy do I have plans for us."

"Ooh, best birthday surprise ever. Tell me, tell me."

"Nope. You gotta wait 'til tomorrow."

"Ugh, fine." Lee put his arm around my shoulders then and rested his head on mine. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. But Lee? You stink. Go shower already."

Lee seemed revived once he showered and after venturing out for pizza, we were back on the sofa, playing Mario Kart with his roommates, Evan and Jamie. I've met them a few times now and they're pretty cool. At least they don't complain when I thrash them for the third time.

"Hey, Elle, Lee told us about the race day you did last summer, that sounded awesome," Evan said.

"Yeah dude it was. You should have seen Lee's face when I started throwing my leftover cream bombs at him, and his Princess Peach outfit was priceless!" I choose to remember that day only up to a certain point and not let what happened afterwards ruin the memory.

"Hey, I am very secure in my masculinity, thank you very much." Lee protested.

"Lee, you have literally never missed a chance to cross-dress in your life. Remember when you went as the black swan for Halloween?" I laughed.

"What?" Jamie jumped in "Lee, you never told us this."

"Yeah, there's lots of stuff I don't tell you jackasses," Lee replied, grinning.

"Come on, Elle, we need more embarrassing Lee stories," Evan pleaded.

"Don't you dare, Elle. Rule number 2, missy."

Rule no. 2 Never share our secrets with anyone else.

"Sorry guys, I can't argue with that, my lips are sealed," I said, making a zipping motion with my fingers.

That got boos from Evan and Jamie and they demanded that Lee go get more drinks and snacks as payback.

I spend the night in Lee's room on the trundle bed, which is possibly the best purchase he has ever made, and even his snoring can't keep the smile off my face.

"Alright! Let's get this birthday celebration on the road!" I enthused, throwing my bag in the backseat of Lee's mustang.

"Are you really still not going to tell me where we're going?" Lee whined.

"Okay, okay. Geez, you're really getting grumpy in your old age."

Lee stuck his tongue out at me then and I giggled.

"Since we couldn't be at home for our birthday, because you absolutely needed to drive the 'Stang home for summer, I figured we could make the most of the trip and take a little detour this morning..." I looked at Lee knowingly, waiting for him to catch on.

His eyes lit up. "Do you mean it? Are we finally gonna ride the Giant Dipper?"

"Yes, my friend, we are indeed," I nodded, my grin matching his.

The Giant Dipper is a famous old wooden roller coaster on the boardwalk at Santa Cruz and Lee has wanted to ride it ever since we watched the Lost Boys during one of our classic horror movie nights. I'm not that big a fan of rickety old roller coasters, but I was willing to do this for Lee's sake. Besides, the boardwalk was home to many other rides, and the cotton candy stall there was meant to be epic. And hey, there was even a stall that sold chocolate covered bacon!

It was a pretty good birthday. I mean any day that starts with funnel cake for breakfast is bound to be good. We went on every ride, including the Giant Dipper - twice! We ate a truly insane amount of junk food and laughed until our faces hurt. Sitting on the beach at the end of the day, watching the sunset with my best friend, I couldn't ask for anything more.

The next week Lee and I are at the Flynn's beach house for the weekend and I'm secretly glad I've managed to avoid Noah so far. I know I'll have to face him eventually but the truth is I'm not ready to see him in person. A text message here or there has been okay, but I'm not sure what to say or how to act around him now. I know it's been nearly a year, but it's been easier, simpler, to cope from afar, with so much distance between us.

Lee's spidey senses must have been tingling, because he paused the movie and said "Okay, out with it, Elle, I can hear you thinking from here."

"Lee, I don't think you want to hear it."

"Look Elle, I know you've been on edge this week with Noah being back. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about it."

I can only nod as Lee continues. "I know I was a complete jerk about all of it and you know I'm sorry about that. It's just that we've never really talked about how you've felt this past year. And that's not okay. If you want to tell me, then I want to know."

Lee grabs my hand in both of his as my tears start and I tell him how the hardest thing about breaking up was knowing that Noah still loved me and I still loved him.

"It was the same for me with Rachel. It sucks because it's so hard to move on. It's not like it fizzled out or one of you doesn't love the other anymore."

"Exactly. There's still this part of me that's stuck back there and can't let go. The thing is, I can't imagine dating anyone else, because Noah's literally the only guy I've ever dated. I have no other reference. It was so intense, the good and the bad, and I have absolutely no idea if that's how it's meant to be. Ugh! This is so confusing!" I slump down on the sofa.

Lee looks at me kindly, still holding my hand. "Firstly, it's Noah's fault you had no other experience with guys at school. The idiot either threatened or actually beat up every guy who dared to even think about asking you out. Secondly, I can tell you that going out with someone doesn't always have to be so all or nothing. Sometimes it can just be fun and easy."

I smile a little bit at that. "Fun sounds nice. I could do fun."

Lee grinned at me. "Yeah, you could. Now we just have to find someone who'll put up with your crazy mood swings."

I pull my hand away from his and shove him playfully. "You really are an ass, you know that?"

"Yeah, it's a good thing I'm so adorable."

"True." I smile now, my earlier sadness receding. Lee always knows how to make me feel better.

The following day we decide it's time for both of us to stop moping around the beach house with all the memories of last summer and invite some people over. It wasn't meant to be a party as such, but word has spread pretty quickly and now it seems like half our senior class is here, along with some of my friends from USC, and Ashton and his girlfriend. It's fun to spend some time one on one with Mila, and we bond over how ridiculous we both think Lee and Ashton's comic book obsession is.

I dance with my USC friends and I notice Josh looking at me. He's cute, kind of a surfer guy with the lean muscle that comes from playing a lot of soccer. His sandy blond hair is always falling forward to hang over his dark green eyes. He dances close to me and instead of backing off, I think why not? This could be fun right? It doesn't have to be anything more than that.

He winds an arm around my waist and looks into my eyes. The next thing I know his lips are softly touching mine and I close my eyes. It feels good, to switch my mind off and just let my body take over for a minute. Kissing Josh is nice, there's definitely no fireworks but there is that sort of fizzing adrenaline rush you get from something new.

The kiss ends and I open my eyes. I glance over Josh's shoulder towards the house and all I see is the look on Noah Flynn's face before he turns and walks away.

I guess things couldn't stay simple forever could they?