Chapter 5: Krus' (not so) happy thoughts

TW: This delves deeper into Krus' dark and d3pr3$$!ng thoughts, and there are also mentions of d3@th and @lc0h0l.

Krus and Athena were sitting in the back pew of the church in silence as it began to quickly fill up with people. Athena was knitting a sweater while Krus looked around the church.

Athena sighed, breaking the silence. "Krusveto?"

The ex-police officer turned to the goddess. "Yes, Athena?"

"I know you snooped around the church earlier." Athena said.

"I-"

"I'm not angry, or disappointed." Athena said, cutting Krus off. "I just want to know why you did such. If you want me to keep this between us, I will. I promise."

Krus stayed silent for a couple seconds, debating on whether he should tell her or not. There was a chance that she would be a snitch, but that would be very unlikely for someone like her, so he decided to spill the beans.

"Alright." Krus relented. "I was looking for something that would reveal the true, unholy, sinister nature of this 'church'. Despite a decade or so of experience, I couldn't find anything."

"That's because what you seek isn't there." Athena said. "I get that you're wary and suspicious, but I assure you that she isn't who you think she is. There WAS a time where she was how the devil is depicted in media, but those times are in the past. She's come a long way from that, she's changed."

Krus stared at the ground silently. It would be a lie if he didn't say he was tempted to believe Sarv and Athena, especially the former. She (Sarv) was a believer, seemingly disapproved of Selever's bad behavior, and had supposedly gotten Ruv out of a life of crime and into what seemed like a wholesome, domestic situation.

He wanted all of this to be true. However...

This was how the devil worked. She shows someone exactly what they want to see, tell them that it could be theirs, then take advantage of them and corrupt and taint their souls.

He had no idea how Athena, the goddess of wisdom herself, could be blinded by this, but regardless, he had to stay strong. His enemy (by his standards) was cunning.

"One day, you might get it." Athena said. "Clearly not today, but one day, you might understand." She finished knitting 'her' sweater, and gave it to Krus. "Here. A 'welcome to America' gift for you."

Krus thanked her and put the sweater beside him as the church bells rung. The two stood up with the rest of the congregation as Sarv walked in.

"You may be seated." Sarv said. Krus swallowed the bile that made it's way to his throat as he and Athena sat down. "Let's begin this beautiful day with a prayer. Oh Lord, hear our prayer..."

Krus' mind began to wander. No way in a million years would he hear the devil's prayer! He decided to pray in his own words instead. After all, God could hear everyone's prayer no matter where they were, after all.

He closed his eyes and clasped his hands in front of him.

'Lord, help those I love. I don't know what to do. My life has been restored, if You can call it that. I don't know how to feel about this. I don't remember my d3@th, but I remember they events that led up to it, and they were terrible. I'm grateful that You have kept that memory from me.

Rschvania, the woman who I wish I could call my wife, is in trouble. She is completely blind to the devil that is tempting her, and I don't know how to make her see the light. She has the most to gain with this second life, but seems fine with the idea of continuing her criminal ways, or unsavory things, as a way of life. The devil has used her greatest weakness, children, to trick her. She was always the type to help a child in need.

Speaking of which, my son, Ruvyzvat, and he and his mother's former mentor, Athena, are in serious need of help as well. The devil has them firmly in her grasp. I have learned that after me and Rsch's d3m!s3, life has been hard for them. Athena took Ruv under her wing, and the both of them ended up turning to a life of crime like Rsch did. It seems like those ways are in the past, as Ruv has settled down and started a family with the devil and Athena is currently mentoring two of his progeny and is working as the secretary of this 'church', but they're still wanted people.

His children are cursed with horns and glowing eyes like their mother. The boy, in particular, has picked up on his mother's wickedness; cursing and just being selfish in general. Perhaps if they were removed from their mother's presence, they could be led to salvation.

They all need help, Lord. Please lead them to a path of righteousness.'

As he prayed, Athena stared at him, her grey eyes glowing gold and a concerned and sympathetic expression on her face.

Due to literally having been born through her father's forehead, a lot of her powers had something to do with the mind one way or another, and one of those powers was telepathy.

She could hear his mental prayer as clear as day, and her heart broke with each word.

'I can't help but feel guilty for all of their situations.' He continued, oblivious to the fact that Athena could literally hear what he was thinking. 'Is this punishment for my past sins? I regret not taking Rsch's warnings about police corruption seriously until it was too late. Is it my punishment that I must now watch her be blind to the evil that surrounds her, while she doesn't believe me?

And my son, Ruv, became a criminal like his mother. There's nothing I could've wanted less for him. His life is like a knife to my heart. I never wanted him to suffer like that.

Is his life now a punishment as well? Is this because I love a criminal and had a child out of wedlock with her? I've thought back on my old life so many times, and I've come to the conclusion that there was never a happy ending for Rsch and I. Even if I had run away with her and we lived to old age, we would've all been criminals on the run, and Ruv surely would've grown up to be the same as he is now.

Despite this realization, I'd still do it all over again. Forgive me for swearing, but I just love that woman so [dang] much. Rsch is a good woman deep down, I'm sure You know that though. I know we never should've ended up together, it clearly wasn't part of Your plan. I will always be weak for her though, and for that, I'm sorry that I'm not sorry.

I don't know the children well enough, yet. Only You know if they're capable of saving. I pray that they are, though. Please remove this devil from all our lives and lead us to salvation.

Lord, protect Rsch, Ruv, Athena, Essie, Affie, Selever and Rasazy. Amen.'

After Krus' prayer, he and Athena tried, and failed, to pay attention to the rest of the service. Krus' mind was too lost in his thoughts and Athena was so concerned for his mental health and wellbeing that the only thing she could focus on was him.

Sarv approached the two after the mass. "How did you think of the service, Krusveto?"

Krus struggled to think of a coherent response. "You run a nice church here."

"I'll call everyone to come and help clean?" Athena asked.

"Yes." Sarv said. Athena nodded before walking off as Sarv turned to Krus. "What did you think of the opening prayer? That's always the part that takes me the most time to write. No matter how many times I've done this, it never gets easier and I always struggle with it."

"I had trouble paying attention to it." Krus answered honestly. "I ended up saying my own prayer to God instead."

Sarv smiled. "I'm so happy to hear that! I'm glad to know that you have such a close relationship with God that you're okay with asking Him to help you."

Little did she know that Krus hadn't asked God to help him. He didn't need God's help, it was everyone else who were in need of help. They were in danger, and Krus had to be strong for them.

Everyone was depending on him, and they didn't even know it.

Just then, Athena, Ruv, Selever and Rasazy, both of who were hiding their horns and (in Selever's case) wings with a spell, walked over to them with cleaning supplies in hand.

"You can go now." Sarv said, turning to Athena. "I'll call you when you have to come back."

Athena smiled and nodded before bidding everyone goodbye and vice versa.

"Wait, Athena." Just as she was about to open the door, she felt someone grab her wrist. She turned and saw that Krus was the one who was grabbing his wrist.

"Yes, Krusveto?" Athena asked.

"I thought about your offer and decided that I'll meet you there." Krus said. "I've never had @lc0h0l before and have been wanting to try for some time now, anyways."

"Alright! See you later at Funky Bar, then."

[Cliffhanger bc I have to sleep now]

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