- And you still won't write?
- Do you know what your question reminds me of?
- Verse?
- We have one of our neighbors, his name is Uncle Morcos, a good man. Every time he sees me, he says, "We will not be happy with you, or what?"
Noha laughed and extended her hand to take the file of papers that Mustafa had snatched from the table between them, on which was the rest of Noha and Samiha's meal. I was amazed at Mustafa's reaction. I looked at him wondering.
- I don't mean it, but I don't want anyone to read anything I haven't finished yet.
- Ok I have an idea.
- Say, mother of ideas.
- Look, Mustafa.. You have been working in this magazine for years, and you have never written two words on each other.. If it weren't for some of the ads you get, you would have been expelled from here.. These ads are not your job and not your specialty.. You are a writer inside you.. A great journalist, if he had his chance He will shine and become the most famous journalist in Egypt.
Mustafa thanked her for her courtesy, but she assured him that she spoke to him with confidence, reminded him of his articles that he used to write during the university days, in which he was superior to all his peers, and how all the professors and teachers of the college were predicting a brilliant future for him in the world of journalism, and that because of those articles, the dean of the college mediated for him to appoint In this magazine, but he disappointed everyone, and the first of them was himself. Mustafa wandered a bit and remembered his mother's words: "By God, you are not useful or successful in my need.. Stay on my grave if it succeeds." It seems that her words are correct and that her prediction is the most correct.
Noha respected his silence, but when it was long, she interrupted his straying and asked him:
- I just know what is the reason for all this.
Mustafa responded spontaneously, as if speaking to himself and answering the question:
- she.
- Who is she?
Mustafa woke up from his stupor and looked at Noha and said:
- there is no.
- No.. Tell me what bothers you.
Mustafa went back to an old time, when he was a child no more than nine years old, his father died as a result of a heart attack, and his mother refused to marry even though she was at the top of her youth and femininity, and although many proposed to marry her, promising her to preserve her only one, raise him and spend on him, but she decided and it ended. She will live for this child. After a while, she felt deprivation and lack in her life as a female. She lacked love, a sweet word, a touch of tenderness and a look of admiration and appreciation. A gap began to appear in her relationship with her son. She held him responsible for this deprivation, and the greater the deprivation, the more responsibility he bears. The person responsible is directly responsible for everything she suffered in her life, even if it was something from before his existence in this world, and as a reaction to her deprivation, suffering, and female misery that he endured. In the choice of his friends, in the results of his studies, in the choice of his clothes, his haircut, in his features that resemble his maternal uncle on whom he ate her inheritance, ifHer son was a man who stood up for his uncle and took away her right from him, but how can this be when he was only ten years old when what happened happened.
Thus, failure withdrew and infiltrated his life until it became the main component of it, and after a while he was completely convinced that he was a failure and that failure was not the main component for him but rather the only component for his entire life. He no longer had a desire or passion for work and success, because he would surely fail and he would never succeed. Animosity exists between him and success, while there is friendship and inseparability between him and failure. Even his book, which he devoted himself to for many years, did not complete it, or he may have finished it, but he fears failure and no one will see it.
Noha repeated her question again:
- Who is Mustafa? Who do you mean?
- My mother, Noha.. my mother.
Noha was amazed that he was his mother, and she who refused to marry in order to supervise his upbringing and devote himself to her was the reason for his failure. Mustafa is now at the neck of the bottle, but he has not overcome it yet. He told someone for the first time in his life about who stands as a barrier between him and success, but Noha is not convinced In his words, all the evidence proves that this woman suffered two things until he becomes a man and completes his education. She clarified the matter to him, and he began to tell her memories that he had put in his black psychological box, he wished not to open or find it even after his death, so he refused to write his notes and diaries as he does. many.
It was very strange for Noha. Her mother is the real reason for her success and continuation. She is the one who stands behind her, supports her, helps her, and paves the way for her if the matter is in her hands. She does not stop advising and guiding her, and any success she is in now must be shared by her mother. She cannot deny Her father favored her, raised her on principles that would be difficult to find someone to raise his daughter on in an eastern society like the one we live in now, but she did not grow up here, and despite her upbringing in the countries of the West and freedoms, she remained adherent to the true religion and sound societal values that no common sense can She turns it down.
She wants to help Mustafa, but his condition is not like that of Samiha, and his personality is very different from that of Samiha, and although the reason for their stumbling in life and work is the same, it is that a person who is supposed to be support and protection has turned into a pickaxe for demolition and a source of energy dissipation, with different stories.
You want to instill in him a new spirit, a spirit filled with self-confidence, pushing him on his way towards a future surrounded by success, flags of victory over our fears waving on both sides, in which we challenge ourselves and the complexities in it as a result of the difficulties of life, and the long road begins with a step, and the step is followed by steps. Small success is the seed for greater success and a brick in the wall of glory, but where does she get that heavy first step?
I offered him to summarize a chapter of his book as a new article for him, which he would present to Shihab al-Baghdadli after he had finished with it. Mustafa liked the idea, but he backtracked, because the ideas of his book are many, intertwined and complex, so which idea should he choose? What season does it start?
Noha felt confused, so she asked him to give her the file to help him choose, but he refused again, citing the same argument that he did not want anyone to see his unfinished work. She asked him to show her the main ideas of his book. He raised his head and began to think and said to her:
- This book is the first of my works.. it will remain the mother of all books.. it will change history.. it will amend human behavior and return it to common sense.. this book will reveal hidden truths from time immemorial, this book will solve mysteries that have been dominating people's thinking and we can't find a solution, reason or justification for them. This book is...
Noha interrupted him:
- Your tricks.. your tricks.. one by one on us, O Lord of us.. tell me one idea of what you said.
Mustafa replied enthusiastically:
- Take, for example.. What do you think of a radical solution to a problem like the problem of whether the earth is spherical or not flat?
- It's old, Mustafa, and this topic was killed a little while ago. People who say that the earth is shallow know that they are liars.
- Well, don't do this.. What do you think about an article that talks about who is Pharaoh Musa, peace be upon him..
He was silent for a moment and then said:
- And I will not tell you an article about an accurate determination of the date of the birth of Christ, peace be upon him.. I will not tell you without this.. I have a scientific and logical explanation for the secret of the Bermuda Triangle.. No, without Bermuda now.. Well, I will write about racial discrimination because of color.. I will not write about the creatures that were It existed before the jinn on earth.. No.. No.. about parallel times.. or about relativity.. or about astronomy.. or.. I am confused.. confused and do not know.
Mustafa was confused and he realizes this and this causes him more trouble.