1 week later

My stomach hasn't grown much, there's only a small bump. Days are long and the nights are too short. I miss Valentino when I shouldn't, he's tried calling many times but I always let it go to voicemail. He always leaves one... last night he was drunk and he was crying and it was very loud. I keep reminding myself that Val deserved this.

It feels like summer, it's springtime. I'm sitting at the pool at the hotel I'm staying at, it's beautiful out here. I haven't talked to Val in a week, as well as the girls. "Willow," I jump back against the chair and I stare at Titus with wide eyes.

"Titus... how... how did you find me?" He cracks his knuckles and sits on the chair next to me. He stares at me in silence and I stare back, "is everyone looking for me?"

"Mostly... Val is giving up kind of. He got drunk off his ass last night and was saying stuff. Plus, it's easy to track you when you're the tracking person in the gang... I have my secrets." I raise my eyebrows and sigh.

"Titus... I don't know what to do, I'm lost. I love him but he hurt me, would you ever say that to Emberly?" I ask softly. He stays silent for a minute then opens his mouth to say something but shuts it.

"No. I would never say that to Emberly if this happened to us, it's not right and I think Val has realised that now. He's scared... you know what happened to his mum. She was looking after him when she was murdered, he doesn't want that happening to you and he doesn't want his child to feel the way he did... the way he still does. You have to try and view it in his perspective too Will..." my eyes water and I cry for the one hundredth time.

He comes and sits next to me and awkwardly wraps his arm around my shoulder. I rest my head on his chest and I hiccup, "he hurt me so much. You can't expect me to forgive him right away for saying that."

He pats my shoulder and sighs, "I know... but maybe he regrets saying that now. Come home Willow, don't be this far away from home. You can hate him all you want but he just needs to see you."

"He doesn't even deserve to see me," I bitterly spit out.

"Then come home for everyone else. They don't deserve to be punished for something that Val did. I heard you said something to Amalia... I agree with you, don't worry. What they did wasn't right," I sigh and wipe under my eyes.

"Fine. I'll come home. But not for him or Amalia and Nova...I'll do it for my baby and I," he smiles and stands up. "Follow me up and we'll get my stuff," he nods and we walk to the elevators.

"What have you been doing for this past week?" He asks as we step out of the elevator. I open my room and start collecting my stuff. I shrug, briefly looking at him as he sits on the couch not even helping me.

"Many outdoor activities. I've been a tourist in my own country. If that makes sense..." I grab the last of my things and throw a bag at him go carry. We both carry my bags down and I hand in my key and pay. I throw my stuff in his back seat and he does the same thing then I sit in the passenger seat. He begins driving home. "What has everyone else been doing?" I ask.

Titus shrugs, "nothing. We've all been looking for you after you disappeared from Amalia and Jarrads' after having a meltdown. Which is completely understandable, don't get me wrong but... we just haven't been having a lot of fun ever since this has happened."

Suddenly, I feel bad. I shouldn't have left to worry everyone, they're doing all of this even though it's between me and Val. They shouldn't have to pick up after our mess. It's not for them to worry, I've been causing all this hectic mess and I feel like I've been selfish. "I'm sorry... I-I just needed to get away. I needed a break and I didn't realise that this wold hurt other people along the way..."

"Stop stressing. We had nothing better to do anyway, we would all rather look for you and make sure you're okay. This is hard, we know- trust me."

"Has Val changed his mind... you know... about not wanting the baby?" I hope Titus knows because I really want to her know. If only he didn't say all that stuff then this wouldn't be happening. We would be in bed, eating, maybe even sleeping. We would just be enjoying our lives.

"We haven't really spoken about it. I just punched him and left, couldn't really look after him after he said that. We were all pissed. So, I'm not sure if he's changed his mind or not," he shrugs. I look out the window, it's late in the afternoon and I
really hope the sun sets soon.

"Can I stay at your house tonight?" I ask.

"Sure. Em will be there, cause she lives with me now and all..." I nod and a silence spreads through us. Not the awkward kind, the peaceful kind.
                                         ••
It's 7 at night when we arrive at his house, the lights are on and we bring my bags inside so I can wash all my clothes. Emberly is at the door straight away as soon as she hears the click of the lock, when she sees me she hugs me so tight. "Willow... I hope you're okay."

We pull apart and I smile, "I'm alright... I wouldn't say I'm doing good exactly," she smiles sadly and ushers me inside. The smell of food makes my tummy grumble and she chuckles, fettuccine Alfredo that has steam rising up is sitting on the counter waiting for me to eat it. "Thank you!" I exclaim running to it and grabbing the bowl and a fork. Titus grabs his own and a beer then moves to the couch to watch the tv.

Em sits at the table with me and sighs, "where did you go?" I don't look up.

"The country... I needed to get away. I'm sorry for making you worry," she places her hand on my arm which makes me look up at her.

"Don't say sorry, I understand why you did it. Nova doesn't understand what she did then when Amalia explained it to her, she felt awful. She's worried about you, maybe you should text her... she's your best friend," I drop my fork at what she says.

"Best friends don't do what Nova did. It so wasn't right and she needs to know that it wasn't. I'm glad she's gotten the point now, I'm hurt because of her actions." Emberly sighs after I finish my long ass sentence and runs a hand through her hair.

"They tried to help you."

"Yeah, well sometimes help isn't what someone wants or needs. Sometimes, it doesn't actually help them in the end. The latter is the ticked answer that is correct," I finish my food. "Thank you for your kind hospitality, I'm going to bed." I put my bowl in the dishwasher then walk up the stairs.

It's late at night when I hear two male voices in an argument, I open the door to listen more. One voice is definitely Titus, "I suggest you leave. How did you even find out she is here? Don't you get it Val? You hurt her. She doesn't want to see you, so leave!"

"I need to see her, let me see my f***ing girlfriend. Look she's asleep so just let me up there so I can see her, please," Valentino pleads. My eyes water and I lean against the wall covering my mouth with my hand.

"Valentino, you made a decision. And that decision was wrong, you chose wrong. It's up to her if she wants to see you, which she doesn't which is why she is staying here. So leave before I use force," Titus firmly says.

"I know I chose wrong for Christ's sake! Fine. I'm not giving up. I'll be back," I hear the door slam closed and I shut the door and run to the window to watch him. Except he isn't there...

I get back into bed but I can't seem to fall asleep from everything I heard. I hear a banging on the window which makes me jump and run to turn on the lights. The window slams open and I scream, he lunges at me and presses his hand over my mouth. "Willow.... why won't you let me see you? I'm dying angel," I push him away from me. He has bags under his eyes, he's gone pale and his eyes are filled with so much pain. It hurts me but I need to remind myself what he did. What he said.

"Val, leave..." I warm feeling as if I'm going to cry yet again. I can't see him, yet be in the same room as him. "Leave!" I scream.

"Willow, I'm sorry! I love you and I will love our baby, please... I'm scared, you should know that. You know how my mother died, I'm so scared that my child will have an asshole of a father and I won't be good enough and it will be put through what I've been put through. I don't want our baby to end up like me and I don't want you to end up like my mum. I'm stuffed up. I mess up everything good that's in my life," I'm squeezing my eyes shut so he won't see my cry. "Don't cry," his own voice cracks.

"You can't come in here and expect me to forgive you, Valentino! You wanted me to get rid of our baby! Who says what you said? How could someone be so heartless? How could you be so heartless when it's your baby too! This wasn't expected nor was it intentional, just because your mother got killed doesn't mean I am going to. Our baby will not end up how you are because you know what? You need to start living a life that isn't filled with killing people and doing illegal sh*t. When you have a baby you need to give up everything because you should do everything in your power to protect them. But you wanted me to kill our baby. You were meant to protect her or him... you're the father and I'm the mother, shouldn't that be good enough for you? Aren't you happy that it isn't down prostitute or whoever you did? You need to know what you said wasn't right and I can't forgive you," everything's messed up. Nothing in life is planned and it isn't turning out too well.

"I'm f***ed up Willow, you should know that. I'm incredibly sorry and I'm stupid, I won't live this gang life... I will make my own business and we will just be a group of guys... a group of mates... brothers. I will do anything for you and this child, I don't want you to get rid of it and I'm sorry for saying you need to. I'm sorry. I love you and I will love this baby for infinity."

"Everyone's a little messed up." I stare at him, he's crying but so am I. "Val, I need time. Please understand, this isn't something that can be easily forgotten or forgiven," he sighs and walks closer to me.

"Can I hug you?"

"Maybe it would be best if you didn't... I don't know if I would be able to control myself from either crying, or kissing you to death and why did I say that. Please leave," he sighs and opens the window. He climbs out and looks me over one last time, tells me he loves me them jumps out of the window. I watch as he walks down the driveway and down the street, then I go back to bed and fall asleep.
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Keely