Chapter 36- 'I can't face this alone'

Danielle's POV


I sat up in bed with the TV on low in the background yet I wasn't watching it. It had been three days since Liam left for Wolverhampton with his mum and he kept his promise of ringing everyday despite his mum being now kept in the hospital. A small whimper from beside me breaks my thoughts I look over to my small son tossing and turning in his fathers place asleep. As I'm too scared to sleep alone in our big house and Luca has come down with a nasty cough, stuffy nose and temperature which wakes him up nearly every 3 hours I decided it was best to keep him with me so at least Isabella can get a good nights sleep.


"Shh sweetie", I say softly moving his hair out of his face as he sniffles and stirs in his sleep.


My thoughts soon drift back off to Liam and his family down there. Once Liam got there on Sunday he rang a few hours later to say his mum is practically on her death bed. Also he mentioned that his mum wanted me, Luca and Isabella to see her but Liam said to come down in a few days depending on her health. Averting my gaze to the clock I see it's just turned midnight and Liam has still not called, I feel my breathing speed up at the thought of something going wrong.


Suddenly my phone vibrates loudly on my bedside table so I grab it immediately and see my caller I.D as 'Liam Xxx'. I quickly slide my finger along my iPhone screen and it directs me to the calling app.


"Dani?", I hear his voice whisper.


"Li?! Is everything okay?", I whisper frantically.


"Yeah, well no, not really", he says quietly.


"What's happened?", I ask softly


"She was really bad t-tonight", he stutters.


"And then Ruth keeps being a bitch to me", he says and I can hear his small sniffles.


"What is she saying Li?", I ask.


"Just saying I've missed a lot of mums life to be a singer and stuff", he chokes out as anger fills me at once.


"Oh Li, you know that's not true", I sigh.


"I know but she doesn't know how it affects me", he says as I hear a few small sobs leave his mouth.


"I wish I was with you babe", I sigh feeling small tears brim in my eyes.


"I struggle to sleep you know", he says.


"Me too, I've got a laid up Luca next to me", I say with a small chuckle.


"That's my boy being the man of the house", he laughs quietly.


"He keeps waking in the night coughing and his throat is really sore", I say looking at him as he lays on his side facing me and has a fist full of my pyjama top.


"Tell him I miss him and Isabella", he says through the line.


"I will, they miss you too and can't quite understand why you have gone to nanny and grandads without them", I say with a small smile.


"I kind of wish they were older but on the other hand I'm glad their young", he begins.


"Because them being older means they'd remember but they'd understand and because their young they don't understand but they don't remember either", he finishes.


"I know Li, this is a really hard situation", I sigh.


"I want to see you down here towards the end of the week, with them both", he says.


"We will babe don't you worry and the lads send their blessings"


"Get a good sleep now babes", I say softly.


"You too Dani, I love you", he replies.


"I love you too", I say with a small smile.


"See you soon", his voice sounds before the line goes dead.


Sighing I place my phone back onto the bedside table on charge before hearing a sore cough echo the room. Turning around I look over to my son who's now sat up slightly and is letting out a tired cry.


"Come on baby boy", I coo picking him up and sitting him onto my lap.


"Mummy", he cries with his voice gravelly and his forehead hot.


"Shh sweetie, let's give you some calpol and a drink of water", I say softly before reaching over to grab hold of the calpol bottle and a spoon.


I carefully unscrew the top of the bottle and pour some into the spoon provided.


"Have this now baby", I coo lifting to the spoon so it's only a few inches away from his mouth.


Almost immediately he leans forwards with his mouth open to digest the medicine into his tiny body. Another spoon later and he begins to cough while letting out a short cry. I grab his beaker full of water and pass it to him to cool his throat down. He quickly begins to drink the liquid as I hear his gulps echo through my quiet bedroom.


"No more", he says pushing the beaker away from him.


With everything back to sitting on my bedside table I wrap my arms around his body in order to calm him down. I rock us slightly as his face is buried into my chest, I can feel his high temperature skin against my own.


"You're really hot sweetie", I say pressing my hand against his forehead earning a sniffle from the poorly boy.


"Cold mummy! Cold!", he shouts frantically.


"Are you sure darling?", I say.


I stick with my question as he might be getting his 'hot' and 'cold' words mixed up again but when his small body begins to shake and shiver in my arms and his cries fill the room I automatically lift the cover over us both.


"Okay, shhh", I coo brushing back his sweaty hair on his head comfortingly.


"M-mummy", he whimpers.


"I know sweetie, I wish I could take away the pain", I say sighing.


Once his crying has calmed slightly I gently lay him back on Liam's spot as he immediately cuddles into my side. Looking over at the clock now I see that it's almost 12:40am, sighing I switch off my lamp and lie down next to my poorly, little boy. I also grab the remote and switch the TV off causing the room to be filled with silence and darkness.


"Let's go asleep now baby", I whisper wrapping my arms around Luca.


"Hmm", he hums into my side.


"Love you baby", I coo.


"Uv you m-mummy", he whispers through small yawns.


Smiling I allow my mind to clear, eyes to close and myself to fall into unconsciousness.


~~~~~


I'm awoken at half past 8 the next morning by my favourite name being said repeatedly 'mummy'. I feel my body being shook slightly from it slumber, groaning I open my eyes slightly to see a small little girls body sitting on top of me with a wild mess of curls and a tired grin her face.


"Morning mummy!", Isabella chirps as I then sit up with a yawn and sit her on my lap.


"Morning darling", I smile tiredly.


"How did you get here?", I say smiling.


"I have big girl bed now mummy!", she says as if it's the most obvious thing.


"Of course, yes", I grin.


A few weeks ago after our holiday me and Liam decided it would be better if Isabella now slept in a real toddlers bed instead if a cot. It's not a full sized single but it's a small version which is really cute and has 'big girl princess bedding' as Isabella would say. The only bad side to this is that she can get out of bed whenever she needs to and walk into our room which may become a pain when she starts to have nightmares.


"Luca is still asleep", she whispers while giggling quietly.


Looking to my right I see Luca sprawled out on his back, nose red and his mouth open while loud snores leave them. Smiling I lean over to place a gently kiss to his warm forehead.


"He is, let's leave him because he is not very well", I pout.


"He wake mummy up?", she says with a shocked face.


"Yes he did, but don't worry sweetie", I giggle.


"He no wake my mummy up!", she says with her voice raised slightly.


"That's what mummy's are for, silly", I laugh wrapping my arms around her body.


"Oh, silly bella", she giggles covering her mouth and eyes.


"Love you bella boo, I do", I smile at my daughter.


"Love you too mummy, I do", she mocks me giggling.


"Look how long your hairs getting now!", I say gasping excitedly.


"Be like mummy's soon", she says pushing her fingers through the messy curls.


"I know we will be matching", I smile.


"I think auntie Livs coming around today", I say as Isabella's face instantly perks up.


"Oh yay!", she says causing me to laugh and kiss her forehead.


Just then I feel the bed move slightly and a loud cough sound out before a set of whimpers leave my sons mouth. Turning to face him I watch his eyes open and him immediately sit up and reach for my hold. Carefully I sit Isabella at my feet and lift my poorly son onto my lap as he buries his head into my chest.


"How are you feeling baby boy?", I coo moving his sweaty hair out of his face.


"Okay mummy", he smiles tiredly.


Feeling his head I'm surprised to see his temperature has almost gone now which is a great help to us all.


"That's really good sweetie", I smile.


"How about I give you both a bath and then auntie Liv will be here", I say to both of them.


"Yay!", Luca says grinning up at me.


"Come on then", I say lifting Luca in my arms as I get up from my bed while Isabella follows into our bathroom.


I quickly fill up the big bath tub ensuring lots of bubbles are in there which both of them love and with a quick tester of the temperature I strip both kids of their pyjamas and plop them into the water.


I drop their dirty clothing into the washing basket and watch them splash around together in the bath causing me to smile.


"Shall we get washed then you play after?", I ask with a smile as they stop playing and give me quick nod.


To begin I get the Johnson's baby shampoo and pour a small amount into my hand, I then rub it onto Luca's head. I quickly scrub the liquid into his scalp before rinsing it out with a flannel covering his eyes so no soap or water gets into them. Once that's done I do the same to Isabella's longer hair before washing their bodies with Johnson's baby shower gel.


"All clean, you have ten minutes to play guys", I smile sitting in the toilet seat and grabbing me phone.


"Shall we have a photo for twitter and daddy?", I ask.


"Yeah!", Isabella shouts as Luca giggles next to her.


"Okay then", I laugh.


I watch them show their little teeth while smiling at the camera, both of their hairs are messily clinging to their heads while the bubbles have risen covering almost all of their small bodies. Laughing I quickly snap the photo before they get back to playing and splashing around. Logging into twitter I see the usual mentions and notifications coming through yet I ignore them and head straight to the 'New tweet' button where I add the photo.


'@DaniellePayne: little Payne's morning bubble bath🙊🛀 @Real_Liam_Payne'


After 10 more minutes of Luca and Isabella playing around with the bubbles and giggling when they stick to their faces I get one out at a time. In the end the bath is drained of water yet bubbles are still stuck to the bottom and both children are wrapped in a soft, warm and white towel ready to be dried off.


"Come on then Luca James", I smile as he walks forward towards me.


I rub the towel gently across all of his body until I'm confident he's dry before giving his hair a quick rub with the towel causing his curls to stick everywhere and Isabella to giggle at her brother. After doing the same to Isabella I go and grab some clean clothes, vests and socks for them both to wear today.


"Daddy top!", Luca exclaims as soon as he sees the top I've chosen for him to wear today.


It is a long sleeved black top which has all of the Marvel Avengers on which Liam came home one day with saying he went into town in his break from the studio, saw it and had to buy it.


"Yes it is, it's very nice", I chuckle putting a clean nappy onto his body and then helping Isabella into her pull up.


Once vests, clothes and warm socks are on I begin to dry their hair with the hair dyer which doesn't even take 10 minutes for both. Just as Isabella and Luca are just completely ready the doorbell goes signalling Olivia is here, which is earlier than she said.


Running downstairs with both children in tow I open the door in my pyjamas and dressing gown to see a fully dressed Olivia with a smile on her face.


"Come in Liv, I'm sorry just got these two bathed and dressed so I haven't had a shower or anything myself", I laugh.


"Oh no worries Dani, you go get ready and I'll watch them", she smiles taking a seat in the living room.


"You life saver! By the way Luca has a runny nose so just wipe it for me when needed" I say as she smiles and nods.


Since I know Olivia is looking after both children I'm showered, dried, dressed, hair sorted and natural make up applied in 30 minutes which is a new record for myself. I quickly wash out the bath from earlier, put the dirty washing into the washing machine and tidy my bedroom up in the next 10 minutes before heading back downstairs, life of a mummy.


"So how are you?", Olivia asks with a sad smile.


"I'm alright, I know Liam's really struggling, I don't think there's been a night he's rang without crying or has already cried", I sigh.


"Niall said once again to apologise for the Brits", she says.


"Tell him not to worry, he's probably over it now", I say with a small smile.


"I think were going down to her end of this week", I say as Olivia nods.


"Liam's said how doctors have said she doesn't have long left at all", I say sadly.


"It's so sad", Olivia comments.


"She's such a lovely woman as well, I honestly don't know how Liam will react", I reply.


"I can only be so much of a help to him as well", I sigh.


"Dani I think everyone can tell your like the only person who can sort him out and cheer him up", she explains as I nod slightly still not convinced.


"What about after him and Sophia broke up and he went mental, partying every night, getting drunk all the time and risking the whole bands contract with Simon"


"Then you stepped back into the picture and he just calmed down so fast, grew up within the matter of months, was back to the old and sensible Liam", she finishes smiling.


"He was such an idiot at that time", I comment with a chuckle.


"Then you got married", she laughs.


"Six years this year", I say shocked.


"Time flies ay! It's 2 years for us", she giggles.


"Yeah but you've been together for about 9 years", I comment as she nods.


"Don't know why it took the little shit so long propose", she giggles as I laugh.


"Don't know why Liam did it so early", I laugh.


"To them people who didn't think it would work, 6 years later with two kids and still going strong", she laughs as I join in.


"I have something really exciting to tell you", Olivia suddenly speaks with a happy smile on her face.


"Spill", I say with a chuckle.


"Well, once we got back from the US me and Niall decided to ring up to some adoption places here in London", she begins as I feel the excitement for the couple run through my veins.


"Well we rang this one place and we said we'd like a young child of any gender and they told us that there's this women who's just had a baby boy and has given it up. The baby is with them yet has no mother or father so we can come to visit and they need to check our records first", she explains.


"So?", I ask impatiently causing her to laugh.


"We went last week to visit and he's so beautiful Dani, the women told us our records are clean and asked what we thought of the baby which has no name. We told her we liked him very much"


"So in 3 weeks time the baby boy gets legally adopted to a Horan and we pick the name and he officially becomes our son", she finishes with a huge smile.


"Oh my god Liv!", I shout engulfing her into a tight hug.


"Your gonna be a mummy!", I say excitedly.


"I know", she sighs happily.


"I'm so happy for you both!", I say with a big smile.


"It doesn't even feel real", she says.


"Just you wait, it's amazing Liv", I say.


"I can't even explain how great it is to be a mum!", I exclaim.


"I'm really scared though", she says biting her bottom lip.


"Don't worry I think everyone is first time", I say as she nods her head.


"Oh my god I can't even, I- I'm just so happy for you!", I admit causing Olivia to giggle.


"Mummy!", I hear looking over to see Isabella standing up.


"Yes?", I say.


"Me and Luca hungry please", she says before sitting down and continuing playing.


"How about I go and get us all a McDonalds?", Olivia says grinning.


"Yay! Auntie Liv go!", Luca shouts causing us to laugh.


"Thanks liv", I say.


"It's no problem", she says with a smile before getting up and leaving to go and pick up the food.


"I want you bothy so say thank you to Auntie Liv when she gets back okay?", I say to my children.


"Yeah", Isabella says causing my to chuckle.


~~~~~


After we all had a McDonalds kindly brought by Olivia we stayed and talked for another hour or so until she decided to go back home to Niall leaving just me, Isabella and Luca. We spent the rest of the day doing little speaking things such as learning colours and educational things. After that we just watched a DVD together which happened to be Toy Story.


Once it reached 8pm and we'd had our tea of Spaghetti Bolognese both children were falling asleep on the sofa with me which we were watching TV. As I was about to put them to bed my phone began to ring loudly. To avoid any upset children I quickly grabbed it and answered without looking for who it is.


"Hello?", I say holding it to my ear.


"D-dani", I hear a voice cry then instantly recognising it as Liam.


"Y-you need to come down here because I can't f-face this alone", he sobs through the line.


"Li, what's happened babe?", I say softly hoping my panic is not shown through.


"T-they have said, she's got like a couple days left now", he cries.


"Okay, calm down Liam", I say calmly.


"I can't calm down Danielle!", he shouts through the line.


"I-I'm sorry, Li listen we'll be down there tomorrow", I say quietly.


"I can't do this!", he cries as I hear the sobs escape this throat.


"Liam, I'll be there tomorrow babe but I need you to be strong for your sisters and your dad", I say gripping my phone tightly.


"Why does everybody say that?!", he shouts angrily.


"I can't be expected to be everyone's rock! She's my mum as well!", he shouts as I feel the tears in my eyes forming.


"Babe please calm d-down", I stutter.


"I'll come tonight", I say then hearing silence on the line.


"W-what,", he chokes out.


"I'll drive us tonight I'll be there in about an hour and a half", I say shakily.


"I love y-you", he cries.


"I love you too Li", I say softly wiping the tears that have fell from my eyes.


"See you soon", I say before we hang up.


Sadly I wake up both children and dress them into their pyjamas and a big coat to keep them warm in the car. With Isabella in her Ugg boots brought by my mum and dad for Christmas and Luca in his white converse I pack a rushed bag full of toiletries and some spare clothes and pyjamas for us all. Once that's done I strap my tired children into their car seats in my car and lock the house before getting into the drivers seat.


"Mummy where we go?", Isabella asks from in the back of the car while suppressing a yawn.


"To daddy, go to sleep guys", I reply not really knowing what to say to a 2 year old about this situation.


"Luca is asleep mummy", her small voice comments as I pull out of the driveway.


"Okay well you go to sleep baby", I say softly as she says a quick 'okay'.


After an hour and a half drive from London to Wolverhampton it's almost half past 9 and I know that Liam is waiting up for us. So pulling into the familiar driveway of his parents house I see his car and his dads already there. I pull up and gently take a sleeping Luca into my arms before attempting to take a sleeping Isabella also. Managing that I walk wobbly towards the front door and knock quietly.


"Dani", Liam's broken voice speaks once he opens the door.


His hair is pointing in every direction while his eyes are red and puff with dark bags underneath them, it really pains me to see him like this. Immediately he takes Isabella out of my arms and walks me up the stairs to his bedroom where he's already set up the two travel cots that are kept in the house. We place one in each before I go back outside and get the bag I prepared before I finally make it back into Liam's room.


"Are you okay baby?", I say softly while sitting next to him on the bed.


"N-no", he says sadly while puffing out some air from his chapped lips.


I then wrap my arms around his neck as he relaxes into my touch and buries his face into my neck. Soon enough I can hear him whimpering and my neck beginning to get wet most probably from his tears.


"I'm here now Li, I'll always be here", I say repeatedly into his ear as his sobs start up again like earlier.


The next hour is myself simply holding my crying husband or rubbing his back as he throws up into the toilet from the amount of tears he's cried. I'm so used to this being the other way around I've never realised how upsetting it is to see Liam in this state.


And she hasn't even left us yet.


A/N:
Sorry it's too me so long to update but I updated my other fanfic 'The Newsroom' and then I had to write this. Anyway please can I have 18 votes for new chapter? VOTE, COMMENT, SHARE! Thanks for reading xx

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