Chapter 104

Ava

The ferris wheel stands tall above us, the blue-green thing spinning slowly through the air, our hands intertwined, and my breathing heavy. I've never been much of a runner, and Liam clearly has been, being the college athlete in this relationship. I still can't believe I get to call this a relationship.

We stand together in line, my foot tapping the concrete, and the wind blowing through my hair. I look at my surroundings; a little girl poking her mom in the leg, asking her how long it'll take to get on the ride. An awkward highschool couple grazing hands but not quite committing to holding them. A grandma, and grandpa smiling at each other as if they're the only people that exist.

It's interesting to think one day these moments will simply be stories. How each of them must have their own story. "Are you happy?" I turn my head back to Liam staring at me, a gentle smile on his face as if while I'd been analysing everyone else, he'd been analysing me. His eyes look so blue in the moonlight, and I think I might be drowning in them.

I repeat his question in my mind. Am I happy? Am I happy? Am I happy? The gate opens, and people rush past us, and into the ride. I grab Liam's hand, and we sit on seat nineteen. Am I happy?

As the ride teeters upward, I wonder what happiness really looks like. I've felt joy, I guess, but anything else always felt unreachable.

Liam hands me a cigarette, and I take it, holding it between my teeth, and trying to light it. The wind smothers the flame, and he laughs.

"Not funny." I try again with no more success.

"Here." He brings his hand to cover the flame, and aligns both our cigarettes against each other. I flick it on again, our faces close together, and his breath hot against my face. Am I happy?

I stare at Liam who's staring at me, both our cigarettes igniting, and the fire standing between us. Maybe this is what happiness looks like. Maybe he's my happiness, and maybe "I'm the happiest I've ever been."

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