There had been a time when my life had been relatively peaceful, where I had been able to steal small moments of happiness and joy but all that had disappeared the day my brother had died. And just like the world, I had become dark and twisted, my only goal to survive the night. Though I can't say I ahd ever thought my demise would come at the hands of a broken 23 year old who had once been my friend.

Opening my eyes the blinding white lights confirmed I was back where I started, in the hospital room being the subject of prying eyes. Trying to sit up a hand clamped onto my shoulder and held me back down. "Hey no you need to be careful" Eyes fluttering up Haymitch was looking down on me with an expression of concern but also relief over the fact I had woken up. "Thought we'd lost you for a minute there hot head" Hot head? That one was new

"I'm fine" Well if you could consider being sliced open as being fine then I was great right now.

"Yeah you look it" Smirking at me I stuck my tongue out at him causing him to chuckle at my expressions. He always did have a way to make the darkest moments seem that little bit brighter.

"Annie?"

"Sedated" Figured. I guess now I know what they'd done to her when we hadn't been around. This was my fault, I'd left her alone with them and they'd turned her against me. It was just another reminder that I couldn't keep those I cared about safe.

"Finnick?"

"Right here" Coming through the door the bags under his eyes were more prominent than they had been in a long time. "Welcome back to the land of the living" I guess that was one way to put it. Even I had to admit that for a second I thought that I was a gonna.

"I'll kill her Finnick, if it means saving my own life I'll kill them all" It wasn't exactly the truth but they needed to know that I couldn't allow any of this, If they truly had gotten to Annie as much as they had gotten to Peeta then I was living on borrowed time

"They'll fix her" I wanted to believe that but the way things were going it was looking like the poison was running too deep, in both of them. Maybe that poison ran in me as well maybe it ran in all of us.

"You better hope they do" Yanking out the morphine drip I hated that stuff, it clouded my judgement, made my instincts less sharp. It made me just like everybody else and I was not like everybody else. "I wont forgive a second time" I'd killed people for less. Slit their throats open just for using the wrong tone. Of course it had been expected of me but I had still been capable of such an act

"You can't act like this anymore Chloe, not here, not around us" Grabbing my arm as I tried to get of the bed his anger was burning a hole into my retinas. I should have expected it from threatening Annie but it was almost like he had forgotten she had tried to murder me just hours earlier.

"Why not Finn? It's nothing I haven't done before. Why is it suddenly so important for everyone to try and keep me in check!" Yanking my arm from his grasp the stitches in my stomach came loose and I wavered enough for Haymitch to reach across to steady me

" Because I don't want you to be what they think you are!" What they think I am? God I couldn't care less what any of these people thought about me.

"What? A killer?. Sorry to disappoint but the last time I checked I was still a victor" God knows how I wish I didn't.

"I guess I just wished you didn't have to act like one!" Oh yeah because he had not acted like one since the day he emerged from that arena dripping in someone else's' blood. In fact he'd pulled the victor card on more occasions than I had ever even imagined possible.

"I would rather die as I am then ever live as someone you think I should be!" Pain erupting from the cut Haymitch lowered me back onto the bed.

"Finnick I think you should go" He said gently to the man who I thought I had finally got back as a friend. Looking as if he might argue against it he bit the inside of his cheeks before storming from the room only to be replaced moments later by Cato.

"What the hell happened" Rushing to my side his hand immediately grabbed mine as he inspected the bandages

"I stood up too quickly" Lying was easy, it's what I did. Telling the truth was hard.

"You shouldn't have been standing at all!" Eyeing Haymitch he simply shrugged.

"You ever tried to tell her what to do? It's a waste of time" Fuelling my lie I had never appreciated someone so much and I doubt I ever would. Having no choice but to accept the deceit he gave up and held the box in his hand out for Haymitch.

"They said to give this to you so you could give it to her" Cocking an eyebrow Haymitch took the box and opened it before stifling a grunt of approval. Handing me the box I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the gesture but I had to admit, I did appreciate it. Pulling the bandage off gently the pull on the faint hairs hurt more than the cut itself. Wiping the salve across it wasn't a pleasant feeling but I knew it would be worth it. "What?"

"In my games I got a pretty nasty cut on my arm. It was getting infected and I was going to die from it. Haymitch's tribute's were dead and as a thank you for helping Erin he sent me the salve so I could continue and win" It was that moment that I had realised that maybe I wasn't as alone as I had thought I had been. How someone who had never met me could care enough to try and save my life was beyond me but he'd done it knowing that it was the difference between life or death.

"You never told me that" I'd never told anyone, It was a moment shared between victor and tribute and some moments didn't need to be shared for the entire world to way in. "Thank you for doing that" He said to Haymitch who seemed a little taken a back by the gesture but accepted it nonetheless. I wonder if Finnick had ever thanked him for it? We'd never spoken about, never really spoken about my time in the arena at all not that I was complaining, any time I had to relieve that hell was not one I favoured and was quick to forget.

" I sent you and Clove things as well just saying" When all their food had been blown up I rallied enough funds together to send them a decent meal because heaven knows Enoboria was not someone who was easy to like, even if her tributes were fighters.

"Didn't know that either" Of course he didn't. "I didn't actually know mentors could send other tributes gifts"

"It's not something they encourage but when the tribute means something to you you'll do whatever you can to help them" Answering for me I couldn't have put it any better myself. Haymitch really hit the nail on the head with that one. You really would go to any lengths to keep those you cared about alive. Squeezing his hand tightly I really wouldn't want anyone else in my life except for him. Through thick and thin he'd been the one to keep me in check when the entire world was trying to tear me apart. I owed him everything. He was the only one who had ever truly seen me as who I actually was, all the darkest parts, every little scar and shard of glass I'd pushed under my own skin. He'd seen it all and he had never turned away from me.

"What you thinking about?" Haymitch asked pulling me off my train of thought.

"Just that.... If I'd never of been in the games then I never would have met any of you or have this life. I know it's not great or even tolerable at times but it's one that is going to change the world and that's enough. If I die because of this then it will have been worth it"

"Don't say that. You aren't going to die"

"But if I do. I need you to know that meeting you was enough to give my life meaning" Reaching for Cato's hand as well he gripped onto it. " And you"

"So I guess what you said to Finnick earlier wasn't true?"

"Oh no I'll still kill anyone who tries to kill me" That was just the way our world worked there was no changing that. " But if it ever came down to it and I had to chose between either of you and me. I'd choose you" I hoped more than anything that it would never come down to but whilst I may not be interested in the war they were waging the war was sure as hell interested in me.