Elena was nervous. It didn’t make any sense because she’d been alone with Kieran enough times, and even shared her bed with him a couple of nights ago!

They sat in silence on the garden arbor bench by the pond, with Elena stealing glances at his face every three seconds. She wracked her brain trying to figure out what to say to him, where to start with him.

“Huh-how have you been?”

She felt like slapping her forehead at that blunder of a question.

He’d been in battle and came out with a fractured arm. Obviously.

Kieran cocked his head and looked at her.

“I do not mean it like that,” she said quickly. “I mean, well, you told me previously that you and His Highness had to see the bereaved. Well, you did not tell me, you wrote it to me. In a letter. Which I read. Read many times over because I could not believe it was real. I do not read much, but I read letters. If they are short, that is. Long ones could take me some time. But you knew that already so why say it again?”

Kieran watched her with amusement gleaming in his eyes.

She cleared her throat. “So huh-how did it go? The visits, I mean. How were they?”

A slight frown crossed his face, and he turned his head, looking at the lower gardens. “Most were in mourning. Some were inconsolable, others had heartache but understood the value and contribution of their fallen brethren. Some were resentful; towards me, the Crown and the fact that we had no choice but to fight and shed blood. Others simply did not care. They’d disowned their family members the moment they chose the warrior path.”

He leaned back and sighed. “Grief comes to different people in different ways. And I believe there are different ways of coping as well.”

Elena wore a sad smile. “I can attest to that.”

She felt Kieran’s gaze on her, as if he was awaiting an elaboration. She wasn’t about to tell him all about her little adventures with imaginary Kieran and her special tea. That was a story for another day.

“When they told me you had fallen into comatose, I lost all hope,” she admitted and looked back at him with a frown. “Kieran, no one ever comes out of that. And I could not fathom how Lady Alyssa kept saying you would come back, how she convinced herself that all was not lost.”

A sadness crept into his eyes. “You thought I wouldn’t come back?”

“I thought you would never wake up,” she said truthfully. “For me, there was no future for us anymore.”

Kieran reached for her hand instantly, shifting his body to face her. “I’m so sorry, Elena. I caused you a lot of pain.”

Elena shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I am past that now, because you are here. I should have had more faith in you, and in your promise.”

Kieran kissed her hand. “It was my fault. Everything was my fault. Everything since the day I directed my rage at you.”

“Kieran, stop. Please,” Elena begged. “I forgive you everything. It’s just that…” she bit her bottom lip. “Why didn’t you tell me about Ansel?”

He looked surprised. His lips parted, but no words came out.

“Up until that time, I believed everything was alright with you. You’ve always told me all about your adventures, your family members and your missions. To discover something so deep and hurtful like that made me feel like I do not know you at all.”

Kieran’s jaw tightened and he looked away. “It happened a long time ago.”

“Kieran.” She placed a hand on his cheek and made him face her. “Just like how your happiness is my happiness, your pain is my pain. You once told me that we should be able to talk about anything; that if I had any kind of worries, you’d help me figure them out and we’d get past them, side by side.

“I am echoing the same words to you. If it is something concerning you, then I would want to hear it from you. Not like how I found out about you and the princess’ relationship from elsewhere…”

He was shocked. “You knew about that? Elena I swear, I was going to tell you. It’s just that the battle came up and-”

“I know and I understand.” Elena nodded. “You don’t need to explain yourself and frankly, I am not interested in knowing more about that.”

Kieran lowered his gaze, his expression guilty.

“All I am saying is you can talk to me – really talk to me,” Elena continued. “I want to know when you’re sad, angry, when you have been hurt. I want to know the big moments in your life just as much as the little ones. I want to be there for you in those times when you feel the burden is too much for you to bear.”

Kieran sighed. “I’ve never quite been one to do that. Talk about my emotions unsolicited and unprovoked, I mean,” he said. “I do it when Aaron and Lukas pry, but…it’s hard for me to be the one to approach. The closest I’ve come to approaching, to having a need to share how I feel with someone has been with you, Elena.” He smiled a bit. “I’ve never been expressive – or talkative – with anyone like I’ve been towards you. But…”

His forehead creased, and Elena patiently waited for him to continue.

“I’ve been closed-off for so long that I can’t tell what part of me I need to share and what part is trivial. What I consider trivial could be what you consider significant.” He shrugged, helplessly. “I can’t tell what burden is too much or too little for me.”

Elena’s heart hurt for him. “Kieran you know that I will listen to whatever it is you have to say,” she said to him. “And you can tell me anything and everything, I won’t push you. But for now, let’s start with Ansel and his family; how you were affected. Can we?”

After a while, he nodded.

He looked at their joined hands. “What can I say?” he looked a bit lost, as to where to begin. “My father and I fought a lot after the incident five years ago. I wanted to go after Commander Reece immediately, but he didn’t want me to.”

“You argued.”

“Yes,” Kieran replied, “but we also used our swords and our fists. He beat me to a pulp each time. I just couldn’t understand it; couldn’t understand him. They were his family too – his brother and nephews, yet he refused to join my cause. In fact, he fought against me; said I was being stupid, rash and too emotional. But wouldn’t anyone in my place be?

“Elena, I relived that night in my dreams every single day. The memories reminded me that it was my fault we lost part of our family. Reminded me how weak I was. I wasn’t strong enough to protect them.”

“There was nothing you could do.”

“But it’s true that I was weak! I couldn’t even beat my father in a duel – I challenged him every week for three months and he was always the victor; said I could never be ready the way I was.” He shook his head. “It took me five years to finally understand what he meant. Nearly cost me my life to realize he had been right. I was too blinded by rage to see my own weakness, to see anything past my hatred for Reece. I was ready to throw my life away just like that.

“When I awoke from the comatose, my head was clearer. I was still angry, but I could channel that anger. I had developed another resolve aside from killing Reece. It was to come back home – home to you.”

His words gave her warmth.

“My father never wanted me to go after Reece years ago because he knew I would die without ever accomplishing my goal. It is why he tried so hard to keep me from going,” Kieran said. “My resolve had always been to kill Reece, even if it cost me my life. I realized I didn’t want it cost me my life. I wanted to avenge my family and still be able to come back home.

“When I finally faced him, he didn’t remember what he had done. Can you believe that?” he chuckled humorlessly as spite seeped into his voice. “He didn’t remember Ansel, Anthony or my uncle. He didn’t remember what his axe did to them, that he’d slit Anthony’s throat before my eyes. It was repulsive and I felt so…so disgusted. To do such an inhumane thing only to forget about it like it was just dust swept under the rug?”

Kieran’s face was pulled into a tight scowl, his teeth gritted as he uttered those words. Elena’s hand was starting to hurt with how hard he was squeezing it. She placed her other hand on top of their joined ones, and he relaxed his grip.

“I strangled him,” he said, his eyes staring at the grass with an emptiness in them. “I’ve never strangled anyone to death before, but he brought out the worst in me. I strangled him with my bare hands and I watched his face as his life was sucked out of his body.”

The malice returned to his eyes, bit by bit. “I knew he could never feel the pain Ansel, Anthony or my uncle felt at the time of their deaths, but I still wanted him to suffer, and I wanted to make sure it was me that caused it. And when his dark eyes glazed over and he went limp, a satisfaction I had never experienced before filled me.

“It was the first time I’d felt so relieved, so liberated after taking a life. It should’ve scared me, but it didn’t. Ansel meant much more to me than he could see, and for that, I thought Reece deserved worse than what I gave him. Much worse.”

Kieran shut his eyes and let out a slow breath, like he’d just renewed himself. He looked up and flicked his cyan eyes to Elena. “I scared you.”

“A little, yes,” she admitted with a nod.

His gaze lowered. “I’m sor-”

“But I also would have been disappointed if you had not sent him to his grave.”

His eyes lit up with surprise. “Really?”

Her lips quirked in a small smile. “Yes. You set a goal, and I wanted you to achieve it. I know that you can do anything for family, and you needed to do this.” She placed a hand on his cheek, her thumb stroking his cheek bone. “This was the only way you could find closure.”

Kieran looked at her like she’d just sprouted horns, and like he hadn’t expected her to say those words. One corner of his mouth lifted and he let out a chuckle. “Elena Rivera, you are-”

His sentence was cut off because she brought his head to nestle in her shoulder.

“-simply remarkable,” he murmured as her fingers brushed through his hair. “Be mine forever.”

Elena hummed a chuckle. “I wasn’t aware we were reviewing wedding vows.”

Kieran nuzzled in her shoulder a little while longer as a comfortable silence befell them.

He pulled back. “By the way.”

Elena gave him a quizzical look.

Kieran stroked the palm of her hand. “Your hands have become rough.”

“No, they have not,” Elena swiftly countered.

“I’m sure they have,” Kieran said, furrowing his eyebrows as he examined her hand. “They’ve always been soft. Have you been doing manual labour or something?”

“They have always been like this, Kieran,” Elena said with as much conviction as she could muster and carefully extracted her hand from his. “You just do not remember because there is an eight month gap.”

“But-”

“Hush!” Elena exclaimed. “We have more important things to discuss than the texture of my hands. Like our wedding, for example.”

Kieran’s analytical expression relaxed and melted into a dreamy look; with the goofy grin and hooded eyes. “Ah yes. Our wedding. I can’t wait to get married to you,” he sighed out.

Elena snapped her fingers infront of his face. “Actions speak louder than words, dreamface. We were meant to be married more than ten months ago but look what has happened! Mission after mission, postponement after postponement!"

She huffed. "It’s one hurdle after the other with the two of us. At this rate, we will get married when I am eighty years old! Do you wish to get married at eighty years of age when your hips cannot move the way you want them to?”

Horror washed over his face and he shook his head fervently.

“I am so tired of it all, Kieran! I want to get married already!”

“I have the same thoughts!” Kieran said, snapping his fingers infront of her face. “Of the two of us, I am actually the most eager to marry you.”

“No. I am the most eager!”

“Trust me. I am the most eager.”

“Then why are we not married yet if you are the most eager? Hm? You are the one who has been running off on missions and now you have returned with a fractured arm!” Elena whined. “How are we supposed to get married soon when you are majorly injured? We have to delay our dance rehearsal because of it!”

Kieran frowned. “That is a predicament.”

“Do you even remember the dance steps?”

Kieran blinked. “Well-”

Elena tossed her head back and let out a guttural groan. “I want to get married already!” she mewled. “All my friends have husbands and my cousin Anne has a son. I am the only one that’s left! I wouldn’t be surprised if Mara brought a husband before I did.”

“Alright, alright. Elena, calm down,” Kieran cooed. “The answer to this solution is easier than you let on.”

Elena pouted. “What solution is that?”

“My fracture will be completely healed in less than two weeks,” said Kieran. “We can use one week to finalise our dance rehearsal and then we’ll get engaged after the summer festival. Say…three days after?”

“So…we’ll be getting engaged in about three weeks then?”

Kieran nodded. “Mm-hm. Is that still too far for you, or can we do it?”

Elena pondered for a little while then smiled, nodding energetically. “Let us do three weeks.”

Kieran grinned. “Three weeks it is then.”

They struck each other’s palms and snapped their fingers – a gesture to seal the deal.

**

Meanwhile, Kieran’s siblings together with Lukas were lined up at the veranda of the back of the house, their gazes narrowed as they assessed the couple on the garden arbor bench.

“He loves her,” Aaron asserted, grimly.

“No, he doesn’t,” Joshua stated, solemnly.

“Look at that smile,” Aira said, analyzing her eldest brother. “Is that not the smile of a man in love?”

“He smiles like that with us as well,” Ray mused, massaging his chin.

“And he loves us,” Aira added.

Ray hummed. “Fair point, little sister.”

Aira sighed. “We won’t be able to know who won the bet if we can’t figure out whether he loves Elena or not.”

They all hummed and nodded their heads in sync.

“Well, here’s an idea,” Lukas spoke up, placing is hands on his hips. “Why don’t we just ask him?”

Since he was standing at the edge of the line, all four Hammedathas turned their heads to the right to stare at him.

There was a moment of silence.

And then they all burst out laughing, Lukas inclusive.

“That was a good one, mate.” Ray laughed and high-fived Lukas.

“Pfft. Ask him. How lame!” Aira ridiculed.

“Downright outrageous,” Joshua added.

They sighed collectively after their fit of laughter.

“Anyone else got ideas on how to find out?” Aira asked, glancing at each of the men. “Good ones?”

“Well,” Aaron began, and they all turned to him. “We’re just going to do it using the same method we use when carrying out research.”

Aira arched a brow. “Which is?”

Aaron grinned. “Observation.”

“Alright!” Ray clapped his hands once, with enthusiasm. “Then, Operation: Observe Kieran and Elena to find out whether he loves her or not, is a go!”

Author’s chatter:

Heavy chapter, with a dash of lightheartedness. I like The Platoon.(aka The betters. Who bet.)

I am actually very excited because of the following chapters and that I am finally through and past the intense arc!

We will now be entering the confession arc.😉 *screams.*

Anyways, next chapter shall be on Sunday (hopefully) Stay tuned for The Platoon’s discoveries!

Damn, I really disregarded my update schedule, didn’t I? Must be all the Kielena sugar in my veins.