I ball the damp tissue in my hand, my cheeks still warm from crying. Maria sat her note pad down, her elbows resting on her thighs as she scoots towards the edge of her chair.

I feel I've crossed a milestone of some sort; getting everything out in the open, now it was actually time to deal with everything. In all honestly, all I've done is push those feelings down and tried shutting it out.

That day in the grocery store was the last time I spoke to the Froyer's. I saw them here and there for a few months, but I made it a point for me to see them and not the other way around. Months went by and the nightmares stopped by the time graduation rolled around, but I wasn't looking forward to a celebration.

Damon's name should've been called. He should've been they're with us—with me. It didn't feel complete. Adeline was eight months by then, her bump showing exceptionally under her gown as she waddled across the stage. She had stopped coming after hitting seven months, everything being a lot of pressure for her. She had Lily a month later in July, and I can still hear her morning screams and cries like it was yesterday.

Adeline threw the idea of college out the window long before she started showing I think. College was no longer on my mind after everything, especially with the small amount of cash I had. Life threw me a curve ball and I let it push me onto a different course, and I helplessly just stayed on it.

"How do you feel?" I glance into her green eyes while inhaling deeply.

"Um... surprisingly good, I think. Really this is the first time I've talked about any of it, but it feels a little refreshing I guess."

"Has anything changed since then?" She asks, my brows knitting slightly. "Do you still visit Damon's family? Did you move out of Adeline's home? Things like that."

"I haven't been by there in a couple of months." An ounce of guilt fills me, knowing my visits there shortened around the time I first met Aiden. "I, uh, got caught up in something and I pushed that aside I guess."

Her eyes urge me to further explain, a sigh escaping me as I lean back in the couch. I really didn't know where to start. "I haven't had a job since high school. I could've left and got an apartment from the small amount of money I obtained, but mentally I couldn't be alone. I had Adeline, and her mom made me pay rent behind her husband's back, so I was fine staying there."

"That was just my life for a while. I didn't feel good about it all the time, and I found myself going out a few times early last year. I was running low on money, which made me feel bad. I went to this club one day and left with a guy... I felt alive for the first time in a long time."

"We kept meeting and hooking up, for months, and he started getting me these expensive gifts or whatever in return. I wasn't particularly thrilled to be receiving them for sex, but I didn't turn it down either. Eventually I asked if I could just have cash instead, which wasn't my highest moment, but I needed it. It allowed me to pay for these sessions so..."

"Funny thing is, I-I fell for the guy." I look up and meet Maria's eyes. Apart of me was hoping she wasn't judging Aiden and I's situation. "Maria, really, I didn't think I'd feel for someone again after Damon. Luckily he liked me too, but I felt I was betraying Damon in a way. Silly, right?"

"To answer your other question though, I just moved out of Adeline's place. I actually moved in with him, or uh, Aiden, last weekend."

I drop my gaze, my focus now on my fingers picking at my nails, as I wait for her to speak. I feel exhausted. I spilt a lot out to her this week and I was just glad it was finally off my chest. I was ready to leave and just spend my weekend in peace with Aiden.

"Aiden," she begins. "The two of you are serious?" I nod my head instantly. She gives me a small nod, "does he know about your past?"

"No. I haven't told him yet." I glance down shamefully, the question of why I haven't told him still swimming around in my head. "I, uh, told him about Derek."

A faint smile comes on her lips. "Really? How'd he take that?"

"Well, he sorta knew Derek years ago because of his sister. It was an... interesting night that night to say the least, and what he said about Derek shocked me." She looks like she wants me to elaborate, but I'd rather not. "I really don't know why I haven't told him about anything."

I tap my fingers against each other, my gaze snapping up as I catch Maria standing from the chair. She gestures for me to stand as she walks towards the door, my arms crossed as we go on another 'adventure', as I like to call them.

We make our way down the hall and into the elevator, her hands folded in front of her stomach after clicking a button. I twist my lips as I wait for her to say something or for the doors to open, whichever comes first.

With a soft ding the doors open and we walk out on the first floor of the building, making a quick turn as we walk towards the back. The sun warms exposed arms as we make our way outside, the simple scenery back here making me smile softly. We sit on the bench, our bodies in the same position like the first time she took me out here.

"May I ask you something?" She pipes in. I turn my head towards her, nodding, as she keeps her gaze up towards the sky. "I've noticed you blame yourself for a lot of the things that's happened in your life. Why is that?"

"What do you mean?" I ask slightly confused. She turns her body towards me, her eyes focused right on my own.

"You've expressed that you feel you caused your friend group to break apart, and the car accident. I'm sure there's instances where you blamed yourself for a lot of fights between you and Derek. Why is that? Because analyzing everything, sweetie, nothing is to entirely blame on you."

I swallow hard, her words hitting me harder than anything I'd thought she'd say. My lips fell into a line as I look down at the ground, the sharp blades of grass becoming quite interesting all of a sudden. "Friends come and go, Cameron. For many reasons. And nothing you've told me shows that you drove them away."

"I pushed them away," I mutter under my breath. "I just wanted to be a lone so much, I-I didn't even realize I was isolating myself from them all."

"Did they stop being your friend?"

I shrug. They didn't necessarily stop I guess, but as the months went on we just stopped talking. I spent the summer either at the Valero's, the cemetery, or in my room. "Last I saw them was right before they left for college. I didn't keep contact or anything... how is it not my fault?"

Maria places her hand on top of mine, the pad of her thumb softly rubbing. "Have you ever tried reaching out to them?" I bit the inside of my cheek lightly as I shook my head. "Grieving is an interesting thing, Cameron. You can't help how you do it, or how long it takes. I'm sure you knew long before that many people break apart after high school—it just happens. But blaming yourself for that happening isn't going to do you any good."

"And the car accident wasn't something you could've saw coming. You couldn't have even saw that night going the way it did either. You have to stop blaming yourself for the things that were simply out of your control. The longer you do that, the more you'll doubt yourself and any situation you come across because you'll make yourself think it was your fault."

I breathe in deeply while dabbing the tissue under my eyes. I pull my lips in as I look over at her, her hand now rubbing circles on my back. I nod my head, understanding exactly what she's saying. I'm scared I won't be able to do that.

A couple minutes passed of us just sitting here, before Maria removed her hand. "I know a couple of days ago I told you to talk to your mom," she began. It took me back a little when she suggested that, being I blurted out my mom was dead before that. "I remembered she wasn't physically here, but that doesn't have to stop you from talking to her."

"Sometimes you need someone to just listen, so you can let everything out. That's why I told you to talk to her. Did you?"

I sigh, "no, not really. I went there with Adeline but I couldn't say anything." My voice is so small, I hate it. Her green eyes hold my gaze as I blow out a shaky breath. "I hadn't been there in so long, I didn't know what to even do."

"If you're up for it, I'd like you to try again. Or you could talk to Aiden—maybe even bring him there with you. By the sound of it, he seems to make you very comfortable."

She gives me a reassuring smile after, my head simultaneously nodding at her. I know my time is practically over, but Aiden is parked out front and I can't wait to be near him. Maria leans back against the bench, happily allowing me to enjoy the serenity back here.

After a few minutes I stand. "Hey, Maria?" She raises her hand up to shield her eyes as she looks up at me, a thin grin on her lips as she waits for me to continue. "Before I tell you, just know he knows... but, um... I'm pregnant."

She smiles warmly as she stands from the bench, her arms hesitantly raising, somewhat asking if she could hug me I think. I throw my arms around her, her hold tight around my torso. "Congratulations, sweetie."

"Thank you," I whisper. Whether she knows it or not right now, that 'thank you' had a lot of meaning behind it. We pull apart and I tuck my hands in my back pockets as we make our way to the door.

I wave softly at her once we reach the lobby. "Cameron," she calls quietly. "Don't be afraid to let him in." She turns and walls into the open elevator before I can say anything, her sweet voice greeting somebody the minute she stepped in. I throw the over used tissue in the small trash can by the receptionist desk, our eyes meeting for a split second as we say a quick goodbye.

My sandals brush against the concrete sidewalk, the soft breeze blowing right through my hair, pushing it off my shoulders as I walk towards the parking lot. His black car catches my eye immediately, my feet somewhat quickening in pace as he opens the door.

The sleeves of his gray dress shirt were rolled up just below his elbows, a bright smile on his face as he leaned against the side of the car, his arms crossed.

Don't be afraid to let him in.

Maria's words practically flash in my head like a bright, neon sign. My fingers brush against the fabric of my tank top, despite how small my bump is. My lips curl into a grin as I feel my eyes water.

This is going to be my family—our family.

I wipe at my cheek as I near the car, Aiden's brows furrowing as he unfolds his arms. I palm my hand over my mouth, which only deepens the look of worry on his face.

Don't be afraid.

He holds his arms open to take me in for a small hug, but I jump and wrap my arms around his neck, forcing him to adjust and hold me up. The single tear trails down my cheeks as I hold onto him for dear life, my emotions on over drive.

"Hey, hey... what's wrong, baby?" His hand rubs up and down my back, his voice heavy with concern and worry. I pull my head up from the crook of his neck, his eyes immediately running over my face to try and see what's wrong.

Let him in.

I palm the sides of his face as I softly press my lips to his, just before he was going to speak. I pull away for air, not realizing how long I was there, before kissing him again. He pulls back slightly before I can kiss him again, the bewildered look on his face making me giggle on the inside.

"What's-"

"I love you."

Our words overlapped each other's as we spoke at the same time. I went out on a limb here, Maria's words pushing me to just finally say it. I wet my lips as we continue to stare at each other, the adrenaline coursing through me that prompted me to tell him slowly diminishing.

His arms must be getting tired now...

"Repeat that."

My brows rose a bit, as if he wasn't talking to me. His eyes are soft, truly they are, but they held my gaze so strong. They were practically daring me to try and look away, but nothing could make me turn away.

The pad of his thumb rubs across my cheek, wiping away at the stray tears. I've felt this way, strongly, since I told him about the pregnancy. I was just holding myself back from telling him—not wanting to say it too early, or for him to not feel the same way at all.

"I-I love you."

I let out a faint gasp as he hiked me up more in his arms. He leaned in, his lips connecting with mine again, and I couldn't be happier. He sits me down, not breaking the kiss though, and wraps his hands around my waist.

The breeze blows by as we pull apart, smiles on both our faces as he rests his forehead against mine. The sound of cars going down the street reminding me we're still in the parking lot.

"Damn right," he says breathily, making me giggle under my own breath. He pulls me closer by my waist, my hands dropping from his face as I feel his arms wrap around me in a hug. "I love you, too."

A few more tears fell down as he kissed the side of my head. The toothy smile on my face remains as we stand hugging in the half empty parking lot.

~*~

I come up from under the sheets, the bright morning sun shining through the windows, brightening up the whole room. I bite down on my bottom lip while looking at Aiden, his eyes closed contently and head leant back as I continue pumping his member.

He lets out a velvety moan as I place kisses along his jaw and neck, occasionally sucking as I move down. "Fuck, Cameron-" he strains out as I move my hand up and down faster.

I woke up in a generous mood, a beaming smirk on my face as I was awake before Aiden. I moved myself  under the sheets and removed his briefs, giving him a proper introduction to the morning.

I moan with every kiss I place down his chest and stomach, up until I'm back under the white sheets. I take him back into my mouth, his breath immediately hitching.

He's close.

I bob my head and move my hand at a fast pace, his hand on the back of my head urging me to keep going. His grunts as his hand begins to ball my hair into his fist, the action exciting me as I let out a small giggle.

The soft vibrations make him go insane as he lets out a strain of curse words. I tighten my closed eyes and push myself lower on him, taking in all him in. "Fu- I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come."

He groaned louder, his hand tightening around my hair as I felt him release. I lift up as I feel myself begin to gag, his hand coming off my head too. I swallow as I listen to him catch his breath, a satisfied look on his face as I lift the sheets.

I move my hand up and down gently as he rides out his orgasm. I crawl up between his legs, my hands on either side of his hips as they press against the bed. "Happy birthday," I whisper before pecking his lips.

He chuckles softly. "Thanks. Good morning to you, too." I pat his chest before removing myself from the bed, ready to get dressed so we can get on the road. I waltz into the closet, softly humming as I look for something to wear.

It's been a week since Adeline and I moved out her parents and in with our guys. It's still crazy to see all my stuff here; my clothes lined up with his or my toiletries sitting in the once empty bathroom drawers. It's really not anything extravagant, but it feels surreal to me.

Pulling out a simple coral romper, I walk out the closet and towards the bathroom. Aiden has turned over, his body still tangled in the sheets as he lays on his stomach. "It's early," he mumbles into the pillow. "We don't need to be there super early."

"It's almost ten and we said we'd be there before twelve." I lean against the frame of the door, his body slowly rising as he sits in the bed. He's a morning person more than I am, I don't understand why he's like this. "They want to take you to brunch, and I've been craving it all week so get up."

"Oh—cravings have started have they?" His tone is playful, which prompts me to roll my eyes and laugh under my breath.

I turn back into the bathroom, my hands gripping the bottom of his shirt as I lift it off my body. Standing solely in royal blue panties, I turn my waist to the side and bring my hand down slowly. The smallest, yet evident, bump reflects back at me in the mirror.

"What're you craving? You should probably eat something before we go." I hear him ramble from the bedroom. I palm my hands over the tiny curve, confirming something is actually there. "I can make eggs real quick. Knowing your stubborn ass you'll try and not eat, but I'm-"

I drop one of my hand exasperatedly. "Aiden, shut up and get in here."

The place falls silent as he doesn't say anything back. I lean back, trying to see if he's still laying in the bed, but he's gone. For goodness sake...

I turn to walk towards he door, only to be startled by his tall frame leaning against the frame of the door. "What'd you say?" He questions, his voice low as his eyes connect with my boobs. He's playfully being domineering, which makes me giddy internally, but I don't have time to play into it right now.

I stride over to him, gripping his wrist and actually pulling him into the bathroom. "Come here, it's important." He looks down at me quizzically as I turn my back to him and place his hands on my stomach like I had mine.

I keep my eyes trained on the mirror, watching intently for his reaction. "No way," he mumbles while rubbing the curve of my stomach. I grin as I watch the boyish smile cover his face, his hands moving to my waist and twisting me around to face him.

He kneels down, completely leveled with the bump as his hands frame either side of it. I gently run my fingers through his bed hair as he presses an endearing kiss to my stomach. "Hey, babygirl. How you doing in there?" He coos, his eyes full of excitement as he looks up at me.

Babygirl? I giggle, "you're calling that it's a girl already?"

"Oh, yeah." He nods firmly while keeping the smile on his face. "Most definitely."

I don't have any gender predictions yet, but I'd be happy either way. I gently play with his hair as he continue cooing at the bump, before I notice he starts standing to his full height.

He cups my cheeks while sweetly kissing me. I internally laugh at my subconscious as she brings up morning breath in my head, but that's the least of my concern. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear before tenderly kissing my forehead, my eyes closed as I wrap my arms around his middle.

"Absolutely beautiful." He mutters softly, his hand stroking my hair. I hear his heart beat steadily as my ear is pressed against his chest, our breaths slowly synchronizing together as we hold each other in the middle of the bathroom.

~*~
- I hope you all are safe and well out there. 💜 it's pouring down rain where I'm at, at 5 in the morning, so of course it made me want to write lol !

( that's not the only way Cameron "lets him in" of course, but baby steps first right )

- I hope you liked this chapter, I thought it was sweet. I hope you all have a great day, see you next chapter. 🥺💜