tuesday 28th of june 2016

J.D's throat hurt from all the crying.

For days Tony and Peter attempted to help her walk, as they were a lot stronger than Mason (who wouldn't admit they were right). She was using an exo-skeleton frame on her lower half to help her move while she was healing. Though it did aid her, it brought tremendous pain to her weak and immobile legs.

Every time she put too much pressure on one foot she was in pure agony. The pain shot up her legs and into her back. It was a hot pain and made tears well up in her eyes every step she took.

"C'mon, you're doing fine." Peter said, his hand gripping her waist tightly. "You're okay, we just need to make it to the end of the room."

J.D pursed her lips and swallowed, taking another step and exhaling sharply. "Fuck!"

"I know it hurts, but you'll heal faster by building strength." Mason said from the sideline, and J.D flashed him a deadly glare.

"Said no one, ever." She snapped. "Shouldn't I be in bed, resting my legs?"

"Yeah, maybe." Tony said with a shrug. "But this is what the doctors told me to do with Rhodes, so this is what I'm doing with you. I didn't major in nursing, may I remind you."

"Fucking hell!" J.D wailed as she toppled over, Peter catching her at the last second. "I can't do this, Tony! I just want to sleep and bake some brownies."

"I didn't know you could bake." Tony raised an eyebrow as he and Peter bent down to help J.D back up.

"She bakes when she's stressed." Peter explained.

"Can we stop?" J.D asked, her dark eyes watery. "Please?"

"I'm not falling for the puppy eyes." Tony spoke stubbornly. "You're finishing this walk and you're gonna be damn proud of yourself. Then you can go back and be miserable again."

J.D clenched her jaw and nodded eventually. "You're right."

"Are you sure?" Peter asked. "I don't think you should do it."

"Me neither!" Mason called from the sidelines.

"I'm a badass, I do what I want." J.D breathed deeply, and Peter watched her in concern. "Okay, let's do this."

It was incredible to watch. She took each step with pride, though it was slow and every time she moved she'd groan in pain. There was a look of determination as she forced herself to the other wall.

J.D gasped out as she reached her hand towards the wall. Her face was strained and if she didn't have the exo-skeleton on she would've collapsed ages ago.

When her finger touched the plaster she heaved out a breath of relief. Mason jumped up and cheered for his sister, jogging over and reaching out for a hi-five. J.D laughed and bent her arm back to take it. Peter easily picked her up again, careful of her pained legs. "C'mon, let's get you back to bed."

"I'm invincible." J.D cheered, before groaning in pain as her leg swung to the side. "Fuck!"

"No, you're an idiot." Mason remarked and she sent him a deadly glare, though it didn't phase him in the slightest. "Run along and watch that weird ladybug show of yours."

"Ladybug show?" Tony asked, his eyebrows furrowed. "I thought all kids your aged watched the Kardashians?"

"Not all kids." J.D stuck her bottom lip out as she was carried into her room. "It's a good show, it actually reminds me a lot of Peter and me, though it's a lot cuter."

"Hey!" Peter exclaimed, though he laughed as he set her down on the bed softly. "I think we're pretty cute."

"Oh no, once you see them waist grabs and cute smiles Cat Noir gives Marinette, there's no competition." She pulled her arms behind her head, grinning at Peter who puffed his chest out a little.

"I thought you said I had a cute smile." The teen boy pouted, and she reached forward to poke his cheek.

"I guess, but have you seen Adrien Agreste? I mean damn, son." She fanned herself and Peter scoffed, folding his arms.

"What does he even look like?" He asked, pulling her laptop over and opening google, searching him up. His eyes widened and he threw his hands up in the air. "He's animated!"

"He's french." J.D wiggled her eyebrows and Peter flashed her a glare. J.D laughed, though it hurt to do so. "Aw, is Peter jealous of a cartoon?"

Peter turned bright red and instantly shut the laptop, pushing it onto her bed. "N-No."

"Oh my god, you are!" She squeaked, which then ignited a laugh from Peter.

"Did you just squeal?" He asked, and she burst into a fit of giggles, nodding rapidly.

"Y-You're jealous of a cartoon c-character!" She managed to fit words in between her laughs. Peter grumbled several curse words under his breath, before reaching forward and flicking her forehead.

"You're lucky you're in a hospital bed, or I would've pummelled ya." He joked, and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure you would've, keeping in mind that I'm way more badass than you." She grinned, causing him to huff in 'mock' frustration.

"You're crossing the line, munchkin." He pointed a finger at her, and she chuckled.

"Munchkin? So are we doing pet names now?" She teased, and he hung his head.

"I give up." He groaned. "I was trying to be all nice and cute but just like that, boom" he made gun motion, "you shoot me down and leave me for dead."

"How come you didn't take drama this year?" J.D taunted, though she was smiling. "You play 'overdramatic' very well."

"Ha." Peter retorted, and J.D flashed him a grin, before looking around the room.

"Guess Tony and Mase got sick of us." She pointed out, smiling at Peter, who smiled back.

"I'm not surprised." Peter raised an eyebrow. "We're pretty annoying."

"You're pretty annoying" J.D corrected, then yawned. "If ya don't mind, I'm gonna hit the hay."

"Alright." Peter chuckled, standing up and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He fluffed up her pillow and began walking away, turning back to see her already beginning to doze off. He continued to stare until he realised he probably looked creepy. Blushing at the thought, he turned on his heel and exited Wanda's old room.

+++

one week later

"Natasha?" J.D's voice was unsure and hesitant as she spotted the redhead walking past.

The former assassin turned in surprise to hear her name being called. She looked at the teenager who stood in the kitchen, her face tired but a sparkle in her eye. "Yeah?"

"Um, I-I was wondering if, um," J.D scratched the back of her head, her cheeks slightly pink. "Can you get the flour from the top shelf for me? I can't reach that high with these damn crutches."

Natasha smiled warmly and strode past J.D, opening the pantry and pulling out the flour, placing it on the bench. The teenager thanked her and opened the box, measuring it and placing it to the side. The agent stepped up beside her curiously. "What're you making?"

"Brownies." J.D responded, offering Natasha an awkward smile. "Since Tony left to do some billionaire shit and the boys are off doing god-knows-what, I thought I'd get up and do something."

"Are you sure you shouldn't be resting?" Natasha asked, her eyebrows raised in concern. J.D shrugged as she tipped the sugar into the bowl she was using.

"I can balance on two feet and can walk without that exo-skeleton thing now, so it's all good." She smiled mischievously and Natasha chuckled.

"You've sure been through a lot for a fifteen year old." She said softly. J.D stared at the bowl in concentration as she cracked the eggs.

"I'm sure you can relate somehow." She spoke after a moment, and Natasha nodded.

"Well, I was a training to be a spy when I was your age." The redhead spoke, watching J.D carefully. "You're basically a superhero, fighting bad guys and kicking ass."

"Thanks for the compliment, but I'm no hero." J.D laughed softly, mixing the batter. "I'm only like this cause I'm just a girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Well, things always happen for a reason." Natasha said, smiling lopsidedly. "Maybe you were always meant to have these powers."

"If you were there the other week you'd know that it wasn't by chance." J.D swallowed the lump in her throat, looking anywhere but Natasha's intense stare. "My, uh, father and grandfather were conspirators in Hydra. My father put my name forward when I was just a kid. It was never fate or something stupid like that. It was a sick idea to put me through hell and give me something I never even wanted."

"Sounds like you really hated this guy." Natasha commented, and J.D paused before shaking her head.

"I don't hate him, he was a good dad." She responded. "I just hate what he did."

"What happened to him?" Natasha asked, no hesitation in her voice.

"He drowned." J.D said, hiding the emotion in her voice. "Everyone keeps trying to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I know it is."

"Believe what you want, but I'm sure it's not." Natasha assured, before smiling as the teen effortlessly poured the batter into the tin. "You're a good kid, J.D. I know you probably don't believe me, but I'm not the only one who thinks so."

J.D was quiet for a moment, before sighing deeply and leaning against the counter. "I don't want this to be my life, Natasha."

"That's understandable." The older woman smiled kindly. "But don't forget that there has to be someone to protect the people of the world."

"It's just too much for me to handle." J.D said. "Is there anything I can do to get away from this?"

"The easiest thing I can suggest is leaving." Natasha replied. "New York's like a beacon for aliens and scary people in suits with all the power in the world. My advice? Go somewhere where you know you won't be in harm's way. Know anywhere?"

"Probably somewhere near Surbiton." J.D replied with a shrug. "I mean, I was kidnapped there and all, but I guess no one would think I'd go back there again. I wouldn't live with my grandpa for obvious reasons, but if I could go anywhere, I'd go there."

"Surbiton?" Natasha asked, before her eyebrows furrowed. "Ya know, if you're serious about this, I think I know a guy. He doesn't live in Surbiton, Brighton, actually, but that's just as inconspicuous."

"Oh, I love Brighton." J.D said, her eyes suddenly filling with wonder. "My mum used to take Mason and I there during the school holidays when we were little."

Natasha could visibly see J.D's face brighten at the thought. The agent knew the teen would be a lot happier away from all the madness, considering everything she had been through in the past year. "Do you want me to give him a call?"

"I couldn't just pick up and leave like that." J.D sighed, shaking her head, the light in her eyes dimming. "My whole life is here. Mason, Herb, all my friends."

"Peter?" Natasha rose an eyebrow and J.D reddened slightly. "I'm sure he'd understand."

"I don't think he would." J.D shook her head. "He'd probably think I was pathetic. He's Spider-Man, he's a hero. He's tough and would think I'm cowardly to leave the people of New York when they need help."

Natasha sighed as she looked at the girl. It was hard seeing someone who loathed herself completely was so selfless that it was starting to affect the way she thought of herself. "Look, I know it's hard, but it could be better for you then being here. You can com back when you're ready. From what I've heard about you, you're not a quitter."

J.D finally looked at and met Natasha's piercing green eyes. "What about Herb and Mase?"

"I'm sure we could work it out." Natasha responded smoothly. "I'm not saying you should do it, but think about it, okay?"

J.D smiled slightly. "I will. Thanks Natasha. I really needed someone to talk to. I guess I couldn't really talk to the guys cause--"

"They wouldn't get it." Natasha finished the sentence and J.D pursed her lips before nodding. "Don't worry, I understand. I'm glad I finally got to talk to you though, you're a good kid."

"Thanks." J.D felt a little bashful. Just as Natasha was walking away, something popped into her head. "Um, what's your friend's name?"

Natasha smiled. "Gus Matthews. He was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D but retired after the whole Hydra situation. He's twenty-six, runs a bakery, so I'm sure you'd all get along great."

J.D thanked her again and Natasha left, leaving the teen to her thoughts.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

hope you guys are looking forward to the opportunities this year has to offer, and praise the lord because 2016 is over.

oh and that gus guy that natasha is talking about is gonna have a major role in the next book and he's also played by taron egerton so that's fab

if you don't know what he looks like he's my fave

I'd also like to take the time to pay my respects to the artists who have passed away in the last couple of weeks.

To George Michael.

He was a huge part of my life ever since I was a baby. My mum was obsessed with him so I knew his music since I could walk. It's really hard now that he's gone because I can't stop thinking about him. There was never a time in my life when his music wasn't there. I've grown up with Wham! and his music as a solo artist, and it's really the only music I've been listening to since he passed away. It's hard as well because since Christmas my family has watched an MTV tribute to him, his unplugged set and we even bought a DVD with almost every single one of his music videos on it. Though he had his moments, he was one of the kindest and most giving celebrities and person as a whole. My thoughts are with his loved ones and I will forever miss him and love him and his music.

To Carrie Fisher.

I can't put into words how much I loved Carrie Fisher. Ever since I was shown Star Wars as a kid I've practically worshipped the woman. She never held back, she was a fucking badass and never gave two shits about anything. She was brave and absolutely incredible and just genuinely amazing. Her work with mental health is so admirable and the way she uses the bad things that happened to her in the past to help people is so inspiring. Also, her twitter is what gets me through the day. I want to try and get better for her. I feel for her family and loved ones, as they lost both her and Debbie in the space of two days. Rest in peace and I love you, Space Mom.

(also, i can't believe she drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra)

To Debbie Reynolds.

Though I wasn't as obsessed with her as I was with Carrie or George, Debbie still held a place in my heart. My favourite film of hers is Singin' in the Rain for obvious reasons, and it breaks my heart to know that she died only a day after her daughter. She was an icon in film and an inspiration to many. I don't know if this is true but allegedly her last words were 'I want to be with Carrie', and they were in the middle of funeral plans before she had a stroke. Rest in peace, Debbie.

Basically it's been a hard couple of weeks with all of this happening, so hopefully 2017 will be a little better!!

*unedited*