Kelly Adams.

Have you ever felt a pain in your chest that wouldn't let you breath? That feeling of desperation that was eating me alive, it was pushing me to run harder and faster. I was crying, all sweaty. However, I didn't care, I knew I was going to regret it for the rest of my life if I stopped to catch my breath, I felt my head pulsing, my body was aching but I couldn't stop. I kept running until I finally got there.

—Excuse me, there was an ambulace coming this way with an injured woman, she's my mom, I wanna know how's she doing.— I tried to explain myself but I don't think they quite understood. This was the nearest hospital, a nurse who saw my desperation approached me. 

—How can I help you miss?

—Hi, my mom came in an ambulance, she's injured, I need to see her.

—Calm down and come this way, if an ambulance came here it should be in the system. —She walked me to the receptionist to get the info I needed. I told her the name, and she started seaching for her. I felt my heart tightening every second. 

—I'm sorry, is there a problem?— I asked waiting for the worst.

—You're mom is having surgery at the moment. I need you to feel this up. When you're done, take the elevator to the third flood.

—I'll take her, I need to see Dr. Martinez anyways.— Said the kind nurse.— I was trying to write but I couldn't, I was so nervous, it was really hard.—Here let me help you.— She offered me help, she filled it out while I was giving her the info, we took the elevator to the third floor and I was waiting there for the doctor. The nurse said that she was needed in the OR. I didn't know if that was good or bad. I was just so nervous that it was hard to breath. This feeling, I know that I didn't have the best mom in the world but I feel awful for not being there for her.

 The doctor finally got out with some other people and they way he looked at me, with such pitty was giving me the worst feeling in the world. I aproached and what I felt when he gave me the news was devastating. My heart stopped for a second, I dropped to my knees crying. —MOM!— I cried calling for her hopping she would listen, hoping she would wake up from the death and come back to me, hoping she wouldn't be disappointed with the awful and selfish daughter she brought to this world, the kind nurse help me to get up and offered me to see my mom but I didn't have the strength to see her that way. However, I couldn't leave without seeing her.  I know that is only natural to see your parents leave you but your heart will never understand such pain. Seeing the person you love leaving you is hard, but knowing that somebody else took that person away from you, that maybe it wasn't their time, that maybe you could've had a second chance of redemption with them. Anyways, there I was, all alone, crying my pain away, my tears keeping me company while I tried decide whether to see my mom or not. After some time. I had the courage to get in there and see her. She was covered with a blanket, I was so shocked, I didnt know if I wanted to see her but I knew I had to. I grabbed the blanket and revealed her face. —No, mom, no... I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you, I should've stayed and defended you. I sorry mom. — I wasn't going to lie. This hurt so FUCKING much. I just ran off, I couldn't resist, I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't live with this pain. It was pouring outside, I got soaked inmediately but I stopped abruptly when I noticed him. I couldn't believe my eyes at this moment. —Professor... — There he was, wearing an umbrella. I was crying, I didn't know what to say or how to say it. He just walked to me and hugged me. I cried even louder.—She's gone, He took her away from me Professor. My mom, she's dead, all because of me.— I cried and cried. He just held me tight. I felt good in his arms, I wanted to undress him and fuck my pain away, I wanted him to punish me, to hit my hard while fucking me. I hated myself for a moment. So I stepped away. —Sorry, I don't deserve your pitty, You should stay away from me because everyone near me leaves me or ends up dead.

—I won't go anywhere. I won't leave you alone, but I'll give you time and space. Everything you need.

—I need my mom.— I started to cry again. The time pass, we got her a funeral, I had to say a few words but insted I just said sorry and ran off crying. I've cried a lot in my life, I'm used to it, but I don't think I'll get used to not seeing her. She left me a letter, I found it in her room, it was placed on the nightstand. Apparently, she wrote it the day I asked her to move in with me. She wrote about how sorry she felt and how deeply she loved me. I couldn't help crying with the letters in my hands.

My dear daughter Kelly.

I don't even know where to start, I've been such a terrible mother, I don't deserve a daughter like you. I mean you made it to college, all my yourself despite all the shit I put you through. Since your father died I've been a horrible mess. The drugs, alcohol and abuse, I can't even tell you how sorry I am and how much I love you. I feel stupid for thinking I was helping you by leaving you be, I thoug that I was protecting you by giving you space, I didn't want to ruin your life by being in it. Kind of ironic, I know. I just want you to know that I feel horrible and I regret not being there for you. Sorry for not being there for you. Sorry for letting this pig hit you or even tried to abuse you, I just was too afraid, but not anymore. You're the best daughter a mother could ever ask for and you've become an awesome woman. I know you'll be better without me. Take care my love.

Mom.

I cried, I felt my tears burning my cheeks, I felt if somebody was grabbing my heart and was squeezing it. I didn't have the strength to be standing so I let myself fall to the floors crying and hugging the letter. I felt angry and sorry, I was angry at her, how dare she make me cry like this when she wasn't there when I needed her, nevertheless, I also missed her, I fell sorry, I wanted her to be there, to hug her one last time. I felt guilty for not answering her calls that time. Without realizing it, I felt asleep. I don't know how much time passed but I woke up on the bed and there he was, sitting next to me wearing a suit with a black tie. I got up but I was too weak and I fell to the floor, he helped me immediately but I  wanted to stay on the floor. He held me and I hugged him. The whole room had this weed scent all over it.

—You don't have to stay.
—I want to stay with you.
—Why would you want to stay with such a mess? You don't deserve a mess like me.
—Stop talking about you like that. It's not your fault your life turned difficult.
—Difficult is such a beautiful word to the disaster my life is.—He kisses me trying to cut me off, it did make me feel better for an instant but the wounds of my heart were still fresh. So I stopped him. —Sorry, I can't do this now, I think it's better if you stay away from me.— I knew he didn't like what I was saying. I knew I could lose him forever if I pushed him away, but feeling other kind of pain was better that feeling the pain of losing my mother, even though I knew I was going to regret it later.— I'm not going anywhere, I can give you space without being away. —I couldn't avoid but smile a little. I was wondering how was he planning on doing that, even now with everything going on, some part of me wanted him to bend me and bang me hard. However, the pain restrain me from even kissing him. I didn't deserve to feel that good.—So that's it. My mom is gone, I'm all alone...
—Stop! I know you're in pain, I really understand you.  But you're not alone. I'm with you!

—I would stay away from me if I were you.
—He kissed me again cutting me off.

God! The way he makes me feel.

—Treat me like trash. I deserve it! — Suddenly, he stopped. —I treat you like that for pleasure, to please you, not to humiliate you.

—I never said humiliate I said...
—I know exactly what you said, and I know it's your pain talking.
—You're right! Oh dear God! I so pathetic.
—True. —It took me by surprise to hear him say that. Our eyes met and we both laughed. I think it was the first time he made a cruelt joke like that.—Thanks, I needed to laugh.
—Any time.— I took a deep breath and cuddle in his arms.— You don't have to stay here tonight, you can leave whenever you want.— I told him hoping he would stay but at the same time not wanting him to stay. It was a pickle, I didn't want him to stay because he pitied me, but because he wanted to.—I know, I can't miss this unique opportunity like this.

—What do you mean?—I asked looking at him eye to eye. He was so closed to me. Despite the agony I felt, my skin was electrified by his scent. —A dark and scary place like this with a strong weed scent, it feels like camping.—I couldn't believe he was actually trying this hard to make me like, I chuckled a bit, though. —Ok, I give you that one. But it feels more like a slumber party.

—I prefer the word camping. I hated when we slept in another place as a kid, the way my mom used to calm me down was to make me think we were camping.

—That's sweet, how was she?
—I don't actually like to talk about that, but what if we pretend we are camping?
—I've never done it in a campsite.— I wanted to tease him just like he does, but he laughed.—you'll need to try harder.

—You are hard already. —I said while touching his crotch. My body was hitting up. —I want to tie you up.— I said, I know he was surprised. He narrowed his eyes looking at me, I knew there was some intriguing thoughts but hesitation as well. —Picture me tying you up, blindfolding you and playing with your cock all I want until I suck the last drop out of you as many times as I want. Drinking your come as many times as I want, feeling your dick deep inside of me for as long as I want. That could be the best way of making me feel better. Don't you think, professor? I do think is time for me to be a bad girl. And you can punish me as bad as you want after that. God! I'm all wet by just thinking about it professor, having you at my mercy. That would be am...

—Ok.— He said. I was completely shocked. I couldn't believe it.

—What?

—I'll do it. I'll let you dominate me, tie me up and everything.

—Really?— I smiled widely. I was selfish again and totally forgot about my mom.

—But, not now and it will be under my terms. I'll only do it because I'm intrigued. And of course I want to see you drinking my soul out of me.— I licked my lips savoring his come by just imagining that.

—I promise you, you regret it.— Just the thought of having him at my mercy made me all wet. I was excited already. —Could I have a little taste of that?
—What do you mean?
—I mean, could I tie you up now and suck you up like there's no tomorrow? At least your hands. Please?—I was begging for him to say yes, I needed this.

—Ok, my safe word is 'Wolf'. You gotta stop if you hear me say it.
—Yes, of course.— I was the worst person in the world, it was supposed to be the worst day of my life and at the same time I don't think I've been this happy in a long time. My feelings were at war at this time. I was nervous, I didn't want to mess up. What if he didn't like it? What if he says his safe word too soon. —Kelly.— He called my name softly bringing me back to the real world. —Yes?

—Where do you want me? — He asked.

Oh, I know where I want you. I want you naked and ready for me.

I wish I were confident enough to speak to him like that.

—Let's go to my room.— I told him. He helped me get up, and I led him to my room, it was upstairs two doors away from my mom's. I locked the door behind us and tied him up on my bed with his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, I took off his pants and his boxers. He was all mine, naked  in the buttom all exposed and ready for me. I got closed to him, his eyes were hungry in anticipation. I wanted to eat him up. I looked at him, kissed him hard in his mouth, so passionately that I could feel him getting harder into my stomach while I pressed my body against his. Then, my mouth traveled to his neck leaving trails of kisses along his jaw, I kept kissing him down his perfectly sculpture chest, sucking lightly on his skin, trailing kisses through his abs to finally reaching the marvelous scent of his masculinity which was driving me crazy. My mouth were just inches apart from his cock and I saw pulsing, calling my name, it wanted me to taste it. And I was dying to. I kissed the tip, and trailed kisses down his veins to his testicles licking them y my tongue with a mind of its own, licked all the way up until I finally put it in my mouth. —My God! Kelly!— I heard. That was addicted to me. I finally had him, I finally had my professor. At my mercy.