I walked inside my room half awake and half in a daze.. My mind barely comprehend what I did but seeing Copter naked on my bed was enough reason for me to be sane at least.

"Drink some water.."

"Did you do this to punish me? Of what I did? Did you.. Took this from me.. Because you detest me?"

I carefully placed the glass of water on my bedside table..

"You're.. Wrong.."

"Then why?! You can beat me! Kick me! Hit me all you want! So why?? Why do you have to do this??"

Him not bothering himself to hide his body in front of me was surreal.

"You still don't hella get it?"

But I can't get distracted.

"I don't! I just hate you! I hate you!"

I leaned on the closest wall from my bed.. He has been throwing whatever his hand could grasp to my face.

"Then.. Who do you think is in their right mind to agree with you? To go with your twisted deal?"

I started..

"What are you going on?"

And I hate how innocent his face is. Nothing is going through him.

"Who.. Who do you think is willing to endure such guilt to the point of hardly sleeping at night?"

But his eyes were still filled of tears and were so swollen..

"Who will be happy allowing everything pass against their will? Doing stuff they hate.. Lying and acting all fine and beautiful.. Seeing the person they like drifting away.."

"I hate you!"

"That day you first came to my place.. Those weeks I sent you home.. The times we sneak to quietly hangout.. Even if I knew it was all your plan so you can ask that favor.. I.. Go along.. I went along even knowing everything.."

"I don't care anymore even if you know that or not."

Shit. Hearing those words from his lips started a burning sensation inside my chest..

"You never care about anything. I knew it the day you asked me to accept Mini.."

"Funny. Is that why you punished me?!"

"Punish?"

I wish.. I could actually do that. But..

"I.. Love you.. Like it's the only thing.. I ever have in my life.."

Fuck.

His face was calm.. unwavering.. and was telling me he knew even with those tears running down his cheeks in silence.

"I don't need that. I don't need you.."

"I know.. And Mini.. The president.. Believes your lies... It's hard to believe that the campus queen is being played to dance on some dick's palm.."

"That's.. Between me and Mini."

"Copter.. How can you do this to us?"

"I don't care.. I don't care to you anymore Kimmon.."

Of course.. Because you thought you never have to.

"You don't care? What about your best friend?"

He immediately darted his eyes on me.. Glaring and cursing..

"You.. Don't tell me--Does.. Does Tee know?!"

"So we're talking now? Bitch.. Just how much more pain were you trying to rub on him? Such a real friend he got here.."

The stable water in Copter was suddenly flooded by anxiousness just the mention of his name.

"Did he find out? Did he know the truth?? Did you tell him?!"

And I despise it! I loathe it!

Everything.. Everything was turning fucked up inside my head. The sting.. The prick.. suddenly turned on all the switch of my hatred as my eyes saw the panic and fright on him..

"Fucker. You're.. Only thinking.. Of him?"

"Kim--"

"Damn you! Fuck this! Can you hear your words?!"

"Kimmon.. Not Tee.. P-Please.."

He took my hand but it sharply irritated me how he's shaking of fear for that idiot.

"Please.. Please keep this from Tee.."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut--"

"I'll do everything!"

"Fuck you!"

"I.. I'll die if Tee will hate me.. Please.. I won't take it.. I can't take it.."

He started sobbing hard as he pulled himself closer to mine.. Limping.. And hurrying..

In that moment.. The sheets I covered to him keeping him away from cold slid from his body revealing the bruises and marks I gave him..

I did it..

I did it to him..

But he's still crying for him..

"You're a bullshit."

The next minute was then a blur.. All I know.. my arms automatically moved to embrace his frame as he cling to my neck and wept of pain..

This.. Clenched my heart..

It's unfair. Copter is unfair.

"I'll give you anything.. I'll offer you everything.. Even my body.. Even my self.. If.. That's.. What you want.. Just please.. Don't let Tee knows.. I don't want him to know.. Please.. Kim.."

----

I.. Always wonder if anyone could actually do it for the person they care for.