i sat on the crowded airplane, my legs trembling. i saw the guys from the window, wiping tears and even blowing kisses to me.

the plane started and made those annoying loud noises.

the last thing i saw was one of the guys screaming and pounding on the airport glass.

(kicking and screaming ;) )

i had no phone in hawaii. i was screwed. no more late night talks. no more eating junk food until we feel like our bodies are gonna explode. none of it.

i would give anything to be with them.

i would watch that weird star wars movie a thousand times if it meant one more minute with my guys.

but that was all over now, it was back to hawaii. forever. my dad and i could never afford a trip to baltimore (especially with his medical bills after the attack) and the exchange student program won't send me back.

i wiped fresh tears from my eyes and closed them as the too happy flight attendant started to speak.

the citizens of baltimore looked so eager to go to hawaii and get out of their state, where i felt the exact opposite.

"we are now beginning our 10 hour and 11 minute flight from baltimore to hawaii! there will be complementary drinks and such as soon as we get in the air! please turn your phones on airplane mode and-"

my eyes got heavy and i wished it was all a dream. i wished the stupid plane would crash while I was asleep.

but my dad. he needed me.

i knew that when i woke up (or hell- was woken up) i would be in sunny hawaii instead.

many people would prefer it over baltimore any day, but not me.

i fell asleep with hot tears running down my cheeks.