**This is coming early today! Inspired by a post on tumblr I saw, haha, enjoy!!**

Tony called May as soon as he heard. A short mission, low-risk, and it was in Asia? Peter had been begging to go somewhere interesting ever since Tony started taking him on missions, and this was about as perfect as it gets.

"I promise I'll look after him, you know I love that boy as much as you do," Tony rambled on, pitching the idea to the older woman. "I can have him back in 3 days, it'll be a quick mission and I'll take him sightseeing, and-"

May cut him off. "Of course, Tones, I know I can trust you. Go ahead. He has to finish a detention, though, so you have to go get him from the school."

Tony snorted. "Detention? What for?"

"He was late to class a few days ago, he got held up on the subway. Normally wouldn't matter, but it was his third time this month, ya know, work and all that." The was May and Tony's code for "Spidermanning".

"We'll go get him, no worries."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Natasha tried first, going in with Bruce. They argued for a bit with the main desk lady, who didn't believe that they were one, Avengers, and two, here to excuse Peter Parker. Natasha tried pulling up photos from the last press conference to prove that she was, in fact, a cold-blooded ex-assassin turned superhero bad ass, but the secretary simply scoffed and said Natasha could have photo-shopped the picture and how her hair was a little different anyways.

Bruce tried showing the woman his ID, proving that he was, in fact, a world renown scientist and hero as far as the state of New York was concerned, but the secretary again looked skeptical.

"You do look like him," she said after a moment, looking between Bruce's face and his ID picture, "Let me pull up Peter's file."

The two superheroes waited patiently, bouncing on their feet a little. Clocks were ticking, they had to get going in less than an hour.

"I'm sorry, it says here that Peter's pick up contact is May Parker. That's it, I can't release him to you."

Natasha slumped forward, banging her forehead on the desk. "I literally hate you so much."

Bruce put a hand on the exasperated woman's shoulder. "Fine, okay. Uh, thank you."

Bruce dragged Natasha out of the room, heading back out to the car where Steve and Tony were waiting. Sam, Bucky, and Clit were back at the Tower packing things and getting the jet ready to go.

"Where's the kid?" Tony asked as Nat and Bruce got into the backseat.

"They wouldn't let us get him out, they said his contact is May and they won't release to anyone else." Bruce explained.

"That's stupid," Tony remarked.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Actually, it's a pretty good system for, I don't know, keeping kids out of the hands of kidnappers and weirdos."

Tony scoffed. "That's ridiculous, we're the most famous people in the universe. And we're literally 'the good guys'."

"I'll go in and see if I can get him, okay?" Steve said, unlocking his seat belt and climbing out of the car. Tony was hot on his heels, nearly jumping out of his seat.

"I'm coming, too!"

The two men made their way into the school, everyone they passed openly gawking at the two heroes in jeans and tee-shirts.

"Hello," Steve said sweetly at the secretary, leaning on an elbow and smiling in that 'I'm America's Golden Boy' kind of way. "We were hoping to see the principal about a matter here at the school with Peter Parker. We don't want to be a bother, but-"

"O-of course!" The secretary seemed to choke out, her words getting caught in her through. "Let me just..." The woman trailed off as she stared into Steve's piercing blue eyes, her hand drifting towards the phone and finally raising it to her ear.

"Show off," Tony whispered.

"You're just upset that you can't do that when you're not in a suit."

Tony shoved Steve's shoulder. The secretary got up out of her chair, set the phone down, and smoothed her skirt. "If you'll follow me, please."

She showed the two men back to the principal's office, where she quickly explained that the principal and Peter would be down from the detention room shortly, then left. As soon as the door clicked shut, Tony turned to Steve.

"Do you have a plan for this?"

"Nope," Steve said, popping his 'p'. "I didn't think we would get this far."

"Crap," Tony swore. "Okay, we need to think. Think... Okay, here's the-"

The billionaire was cut off by the door swinging open, and Peter came stumbling in, head down. God, the kid looked so small when he slumped like that.

"Mr. Stark, Mr. Rogers, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting." At this, Peter's head snapped up. He hadn't been told that Tony and Steve were here, so to say he was surprised would be an understatement.

"It was no problem," Tony said, still thinking of some way they could get Peter out of here quickly.

"What seems to be the issue?" The principal asked, sitting in his chair. Peter stood by the door awkwardly, seeing as there were no more chairs in the room, until Tony leaned over and pulled the teen over, letting him lean on Tony's armrest.

"Well, see, we need to excuse Peter from detention a little early today," Tony began. "He's needed for a Stark Industries project as a matter of importance, and we're on a time crunch."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but I can't release Peter to someone who isn't a guardian, let alone while he is serving detention."

The principal made to keep talking, but Tony cut him off. "But we are guardians!"

Peter, Steve, and the principal all stared at Tony.

"I mean, well- see, the thing is-"

Steve cut off Tony's rambling in an attempt to salvage the lie. "We're adopting Peter!"

"What?" Peter said, head swiveling to Steve. Steve shot the boy a pleading look, and Peter quickly caught on. "Yeah! Oh, yeah, that's- yeah. They are."

"We are," Tony confirmed, nodding enthusiastically.

The principal furrowed his brow. "But... Peter, did something happen to your Aunt?"

"Oh, uh," Peter blushed a little. "No, she's-

"Sick." Tony supplied.

"Of New York!" Steve added. "She just can't stand the city anymore, but we want Peter to finish school. She's moving to California and we're going to take care of Peter here."

"California?" the principal asked.

"California, Pennsylvania, yeah," Tony said, shaking his head.

"Pennsylvania? I thought you said she was moving to California?"

"Yes." Tony and the principal made eye contact, neither one talking for a moment before Peter cut in.

"California is a neighborhood in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania." Steve and Tony both stared at the teen, who was bright red and squirming with discomfort.

"Anyways," Steve said, clapping his hands and taking back the attention. "We have to go get those papers signed, today, now at the courthouse so we should go."

The principal looked between Tony, Steve, back to Tony, then to Peter, to Steve, to Peter, then Tony.

"Congrats on the adoption," he said weakly, gesturing at the door. Steve and Tony quickly stood up, eager to get out of the office and out of their lie. They each put a hand on Peter's shoulders and led him out, neither one saying a word until they got outside and far out of earshot of the school.

"We should tell May to add us as Peter's new emergency contacts," Steve remarked to Tony as they headed towards the car. "I mean, it's not like we can just not adopt him now."

Peter barely dodged Tony as he fainted on the spot.