"Bring that boy around more often Ellie bug, we like em." My dad calls out as we walk down the stairs of the house, heading for the rental car.

"Alright daddy, maybe next time I'm home." I smile back up, and see my mom getting all teary eyed like she always does.

"Come home more Eileen, your momma ain't gettin any younger, and remember what I told you" She waves me off, shooting me a warning look and I smile.

"I'll come home soon. I love you both!" I tell them.

"It was lovely to meet both of you, along with everyone else.Thank you for everything." Harry smiles back at them and my mom blows him a few kisses as we climb into the car. I let out a deep breath as I buckle up, and Harry taps his fingers on the steering wheel as we back out of the driveway in the dark now.

My dad tried to get him to shoot a gun but that never ended up happening, and Harry did the one thing I told him not too, he mentioned the Packers. My dad gave him the stink eye, but in the end respected the fact that he watched football anyways. Overall both my mom and my dad, and the rest of my friends and family enjoyed having him here, and that's good, because I know for a fact any other guy I slept with would not be welcome in that house.

"Eileeeeeen" He calls out, and I shoot him a warning look.

"What? Why are you calling me that?" I ask, and he laughs.

"Well that's your name isn't it?" He asks me, and I continue to glare.

"No my name is El, that's it." I cross my arms and turn forward.

"Why don't you go by Eileen?" He asks me and I laugh.

"You really think Eileen sounds like the name of a New yorker? Nevermind that, do you think Eileen sounds like the name of a stylist or designer for the stars? No, it doesn't. El is more high fashion, and it's more me." I tell him truthfully, knowing that Hayley called me El, but also knowing my words are true.

"I don't know, I think Ellie Mae has a ring to it." He jokes, and I sigh.

"Call me Ellie Mae and you'll wake up missing your eyebrows." I argue back, looking out the window as we drive.

"What did your mum mean when she said remember what I told you?" He asks me, and I shake my head.

"It was nothing." I tell him, holding my stomach.

"Are you feeling okay? Hungry, or in pain?" He asks, taking genuine concern.

"A little bit of both, I haven't been to the doctor in a while so I need to go back, and soon." I tell him truthfully, knowing we're past the lies about my health.

"Well when were you planning on going?" He asks, looking between me and the road.

"Probably when we go back to New York at some point." I answer.

"I can come with if you want, I'm guessing it gets pretty boring by yourself." He offers as if he's being friendly, as if he's doing it for me, and he is doing it for me, but he wants to do it because he cares, not because he's my friend.

"Um.. yea sure, if you want to." I shrug my shoulders, and lean my head on the car door, feeling tired, and hungry. We got something quick to eat and then got back to the hotel shortly after. I haven't been on my phone much because of the lack of cell service, and the constant nagging of my southern family if I were to pull out an electronic device. When I finally do look at the screen all I can do is stare. I sit on the hotel room bed with wide eyes, and don't know what to do... We've been found out.

"Fuck." I mumble, and Harry comes out of the bathroom, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

"What?" He mumbles, mouth full of toothpaste.

"What? What do you mean what? Nothing but your fans and the entire internet passing this picture around!" I turn my phone to him, and he takes it in his hands instantly, scrolling and scrolling his toothbrush still hanging. "They know, they have to know." I mumble, pacing the floor.

"El, sit down.. It's not that bad, this kind of stuff happens all the time." He tells me, and I turn to see him handing my phone back. I take it and look at the picture again. It's both of us from earlier today, we've got smiles on our faces, standing at the back of the car. It's when I was asking him to give me my suitcase, that's not the bad part, the bad part is my attire.

I'm wearing his shirt, and one of his cardigans. I'm decked out in all things Harry Styles, and I see it now, I see what my mom meant by the way that I look at him, and I know for a fact that his fans will see it too.

"This kind of stuff might happen to you all the time but not me! Harry they know we're together, and that's the last thing I wanted." I mumble, and sit back down hearing silence. I look up, wondering why the sudden silence and when I see his smile, and think of my words I groan in annoyance. "Dammit Harry can you listen! This is bad, fuck." I stand up again, and reach for my room key.

"Wait wait don't leave El, come on, let's talk about this, it'll blow over, we'll be more careful." He pleads with me, and I shake my head.

"I need to talk to Anthony, I'll be back, don't try to stop me." I tell him, and he doesn't knowing I won't stop.

"Okay.. be careful love." He calls after me, and I ignore him, walking out the door, and closing it as I walk to Anthony's room. I knock on the door twice, and wait for an answer for a few minutes. He opens it, and I'm thankful he wasn't sleeping.

"What's going-" He starts, but I push myself in the room.

"I fucked up." I tell him, sitting on the bed.

"Are you talking about the pictures of you and Harry all over the internet or the fact that you brought him to meet your parents and you're realizing now that you're in way too deep and can't do anything about it?" He crosses his arms and stands in front of me, and I just stare.

"Tell it to me straight Anthony? No need for sugar coating huh?" My sarcastic tone radiates through the room, and Anthony throws his hands up.

"I don't know what you want me to say El... You've got that boy wrapped all the way around your finger, and it shows, and whether you want to admit it or not I know for a fact you-" He starts and I point my finger in his face.

"Don't say it! Don't- I don't want to hear it right now." I tell him, and click my phone off, knowing I don't even have to show him the pictures because he already knows.

"You don't want to hear it because it's the truth?" He asks, and I glare at him, and feel that glare melting.

"I can't! I can't though. I thought I accepted it but now after seeing this, after all this shit is out in the open, I can't, I can't say it, he can't know, I just... no." I shake my head and press the heels of my hands to my eyes as everything in my head spins.

"You have two choices..." He starts and I reveal my teary eyes looking straight ahead.

"I either tell him how I feel, and accept the pain when I leave him to go to Milan, or I break it off now, and tell him to fuck off, and deal with the reprecussions of that." I speak for him and he nods silently.

"El I've never seen you this torn up over anything.. I've known you for years and-" He starts again and I don't let him finish once more.

"And you've never seen me cry until this stupid tour, you've never even seen me have feelings besides anger, and bitchiness. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me." I mumble to both him and myself.

"You love him." I snap out of my bullshit instantly and turn to him.

"I do not. I do not love him, and you will never in your life say that again. There's a difference between feelings and love. I don't love him, and I won't." I argue back, and he raises his hands in defense, looking down.

"Fine you don't.... El are you okay?" He asks, and I pause for a second, and think about lying but knowing I'm past lying about that, there's no need for it anymore. I shake my head, and break instantly, feeling his arms wrap around me, and his chin rest on my head.

"I just want to talk to her. I want to talk to my sister, and I want her to tell me that this is all going to be okay, or that I'm being an idiot, or anything." I cry, and I feel him rub my back, making me realize how much I hate this. I hate vulnerability, and feeling weak. I hate the sympathetic back rub, and the mental break down I'm going through in my head. "What the fuck am I doing, this isn't me at all." I pull away and take a deep breath.

"Maybe it's time to accept that this might be who you are now... The El that didn't care, and didn't have feelings, and never had fun... she's been gone for a while now, and you trying to hold on is only going to hurt you, and him more." He tells me, and I shake my head.

"This is all fucking dumb." I wipe under my eyes, and Anthony shrugs his shoulders.

"This is life hon." He gives me a soft smile, and I stand up. "Are you going to tell him?" He asks, and I shrug in response.

"I haven't decided yet. I need to sleep. I need to think, and then I'll decide." I look to the door, not wanting to go back.

"You can stay in here if you want, it might raise some questions though." He offers, and I shake my head.

"I told him I'd be back in a few minutes. I need to go back." I tell him, and he nods, walking to the door with me.

"Don't show him weakness, men love that shit." he jokes, and manages to help me crack a smile. I walk back to our room, and open the door, going straight to the bed. Harry is already laying down, but he isn't asleep yet. He looks to me over his shoulder.

"El, are you alright?" He asks, and I nod my head, keeping the silence. "You look like you've been crying." He mumbles, and I shake my head.

"I'm fine, go to bed you've got a big show tomorrow." I tell him, and don't turn back around. He doesn't try to move to me as he lays himself down, and I turn my back to him in bed, feeling the first stone laying itself down to build a wall between us.

We both woke up and exchanged only a few words. He left for the venue earlier than I did, knowing I didn't want to ride together, knowing for a fact that I was too nervous about press catching us together again. I feel bad, I do... Knowing how he feels, knowing what's going on in my own head but not being able to express this feeling outwardly. I haven't fully made up my mind but for some reason I can't set an answer in my head. I get to the venue, already knowing I look like a bum, knowing I look like I rolled right out of bed.

"You alright hon?" Kate asks me, just her and I in the dressing room for now.

"I've been better." I tell her truthfully.

"The L word got you feeling down?" She asks me, and I glare at her.

"I'm not in the mood for your jokes today... no that's not it at all." I tell her, and she shakes her head.

"Well lover boy tells me differently, he's got those sad puppy dog eyes on today." She tells me, and I hate that my chest tightens at that. I hate feeling upset at myself like I do right now. I hate that he can never hide his feelings while that's all I'm good at.

Speak of the devil Harry walks in, accompanied by Anthony and Helene, but he doesn't have sad puppy dog eyes, he's got a smile on his face. "Well your mood has changed drastically." Kate smiles, and he comes to sit in his chair.

"Sun is up, birds are singing, what's not to love?" He asks, holding his arms up to shrugs, and I smile at his words. "Would you look at that, even El is smiling, the world is turning the right way today!" He looks up to the ceiling and puts his hands together as if he's thanking god. "Don't tell your father I'm stealing his slang." He turns to me, and then looks in the mirror at Kate. "Let's get the damn thing done!" He yells out, and the mood of the room is bright again.I ended up dressing him in something more simple, knowing where we are.

A simple black suit with a single red stripe down the pants along with a pair of red boots. "Simple, yet effective." He pulls the suit jacket giving both Anthony and I a pose.

"Looks good, but your dressed way too early, you don't go on for a while." Jeffrey tells him.

"It's whatever." He shrugs, and sits himself back down, all of us cluttering ourselves around the room. I start talking to Helene, asking her about photos, and what her favorite thing to shoot is, Anthony ends up joining into the conversation, and then I hear it. I hear the same tune I've been hearing the past few days, turning to see Harry strumming on his guitar. He hasn't just caught my attention though, he's got all of our attention.

"Haven't heard that one yet." Jeffrey looks over, and Harry pulls himself from his music, realizing that everyone is looking.

"Oh.. It's something new." He tells him, and puts his hands on the neck of the guitar.

"Go on, let's hear it." Jeffrey motions, and Harry flicks his eyes to me, and then back to his manager.

"It's not really.. Uhm- it's not done yet, I don't-" He starts trying to come up with an excuse, and Kate interrupts.

"Oh come on, you showed us that medicine song last tour before it was done, you can show us this one, go on." She waves him on, and once more he looks to me before he looks to the others, all egging him on to show us.

"Alright.. It's a bit different." He tells him, and I'm not sure why I feel so much anxiety, but I know it has something to do with the looks of fear he was giving me when he was asked to sing his new song.

"Strawberry lipstick state of mind, I get so lost inside your eyes... Would you believe it. You don't have to say you love me, you don't have to say nothing, you don't have to say you're mine, honey-" My stomach drops at the lyrics, and I want to cover my face until I hear him keep going. "I'd walk through fire for you, just let me adore you. Honey, I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you, like it's the only thing I'll ever do." He sings the rest of the chorus I'm guessing and stops the sound with his hand on the strings. He looks up, but he looks straight to me, and I swear I could throw up right there.

"Well I love it... Seriously, it could be a hit, you have any more?" Jeff asks him, and I can't sit anymore. I stand up quickly, and everyone looks at me.

"I've gotta pee, I'll see you in the audience Anthony." I mumble, and grab my purse, leaving before anyone can question me. My mom was right, she was fucking right. There's no way in hell that song wasn't about me. He said those words in Disney straight to my face "Just let me adore you." I really have pulled both of us into this way too deep, and it ends here, it ends tonight. I walk out front, going straight towards my standing area by the barricade, and wait for Anthony there, watching him make his way towards me after some time.

"You alright?" He asks, and I look to the side at him.

"I'm ending it." I tell him, and he opens his mouth to talk. "Don't try to change my mind. You won't." I tell him truthfully. I feel the fans looking at me, I know some of them notice my face, and I can't help but want to run away. I never stay for shows, why did I choose today to stay?

Harry comes on, and he has a smile on his face the whole time, making jokes to the audience per usual, dancing per usual, and having the time of his life, making my heart grow in size with every song which only makes me want to run away even more than I did before.

He starts What Makes You Beautiful, and dances like and idiot in front of the whole audience, making me smile, along with Anthony too, it's hard not to when he's having so much fun, and he's being himself though. After the song ends he breathes into the microphone and looks around.

"I don't normally do this but I think I've ripped my trousers and..." He stops to breath for a second, laughing into the microphone as the audience cheers. I feel my face burn hot with a little bit of anger, but also nerves because I have a feeling I know what he's about to do. "And I don't think I can continue on till they're fixed up, don't want to rip them anymore and give a free peep show." He jokes, and the audience cheers again at that. "If you all look carefully there's a certain stylist slash designer in the audience somewhere... ahh.. Ummm-" He starts scanning the crowd, and my face burns hot. There's no fucking way in the world. No, he's not this dumb, there's no way he's that- "Ah! There she is!" He points me out, and I swear i've never wanted to disappear more than I have right now. "This is El everybody, and El, this is everybody, go on say hi." I give a small wave, knowing there's probably a camera on me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I mouth the words to him, but he chooses to ignore me continuing on.

"Would you mind coming up here, and helping me out?" He asks, and I give him a warning look. "Come onnnn, come on Eileen..." His face lights up as soon as he says it. I start to shake my head but he starts anyways and I groan. "CCCCOOMEE ON EILEEN, Oh I swear what he means, at this moment, you mean everythingggg!" He sings it into the microphone. "Can we get a chorus going? Coooome on Eileeen." He waves the crowd on, and I hear a mix of voices singing one of the worst 90's song ever made.

"He's not going to let you go, just get up there, go on." Anthony gives me a small push, and I move, knowing he's right. I go back the way I came quickly, moving towards the dressing room. I grab my thread, and needle, and walk out.

"You alright?" Jeffrey asks, a grin plastered to his face.

"You'll be managing one less person tonight." I mumble, walking past him and onto the stage.

"There she is!" He holds his arm up and the crowd cheers wildly. "El Montgomery everyone." They cheer again, and I smile, but choose to ignore them, knowing I will shit my pants if I see the amount of people staring at me in the audience. I walk to him, and he's beaming, but I am faking it.

"Where?" I ask quickly. He turns his back to me, lifting his leg, and low and behold there is a rip in his pants his mid thigh. I crouch down, setting my things on a platform, and pat the hard surface, waiting for his leg. He props it up, and smiles to the audience.

I thread the needle, and get to work, sewing his rip up, and I swear if he rips it again I will leave this venue. "Ow!" He screams loudly into the microphone causing me to move back, and stare up at him. "No I'm joking, I'm joking." He laughs, and I might actually stick him this time. I move as fast as I can. "El has joined me since the start of tour, everyone say thank you El for making my clothes." He tells the audience, and I hear a loud thank you mixed with cheers. "Favorite part of tour?" He puts the microphone in my face, and I glare up at him.

"I'm gonna beat your-" I start, knowing the audience will take it as a joke but he interrupts.

"Hey! This is a family show..." He speaks loud, and looks at the audience in disbelief as he points to me, and I hear the cheers as he says the same thing he always does, I find myself smirking as I look to the almost finished hole. "Ooooooorrr is it?" He asks, and the crowd cheers again.

He's a mess.... We're a mess. I pull the string, and use my baby scissors, cutting the thread, and standing up next to him. He pulls me in by my shoulder, and faces me to the audience. "El Montgomery everyone!" He tells them, and I give another wave and a smile, seeing the sea of people. I start walking back off the stage, and hear him. "No that that's sorted-" I walk back into the dressing room, cutting off his voice, and I grab all my shit, knowing I'm fed up with this night. I start walking out the door, and hear a familiar voice.

"Eileen... if I'm not mistaken that sounds like a southern name." I turn to the voice, and see Kacey freaking Musgraves standing there, and I smile.

"You're not mistaken, born and raised right here in Georgia." I tell her, and see her smile, and open her arms up.

"It's good finally putting a face to a name, how the hell are you?" She asks in our hug, and I shrug.

"I'm alright, I'm about to head out." I tell her, and she furrows a brow.

"Not staying for the whole show?" She asks, and I subconsciously look towards the stage, and back to her, trying to think of something to say. "Ah, I see.. So I was right then." She smiles, and now I'm the one furrowing my brows. "We'll talk when you're not rushin off somewhere... it was nice to meet you darlin." She rubs my shoulder, and I smile.

"Great meeting you too, I'll see you around." I wave, walking out the back of the venue, feeling like I can breathe when I get outside.

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Song: Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners.