(A/N) i don't think Freya is a bitch obviously, there is no jealousy or hatred here. peace x

"Wow! Just, wow. The one time I trust you, Josh," Harry sighs, everyone else laughing at his tone. I, personally was bored of it. 

"Alright, mate. Chill out, yeah?" All afternoon he'd been making snide comments under his breath or responding sarcastically to everything I'd said or suggested for a video. I still wasn't sure what I had done wrong, but I knew for a fact I hated it. I definitely preferred it when he was all loved up to me, laughing at my jokes, helping me set up the goal etc. 

One thing I knew about Harry though, was that he took anger out in forms of sarcasm, or just being salty in general.

"Chill out," he mimicked me and I rolled my eyes, hearing JJ sigh. Even he was bored of it now. "Fuck off," He murmured under his breath and my fist clenched. I kicked the ball across the pitch and it grazed his leg, landing at Simon's foot. "Real mature, dickhead."

"Call me cheddar cheese," I whispered to JJ and he chuckled, hanging his head. "What's his problem today anyway, he's normally alright on a Saturday."

"Dunno, maybe it's Freya. I'd be pissed at what she said as well, but it's not really an excuse to take it out on you." I frowned, slowly turning to look at Jide like he'd just admitted he had a fetish for free-range chickens.

"Eheh, what?" I hadn't spoken to Freya in weeks. She'd moved over four hours further north for a job opportunity she'd waited years for and I wasn't going to hold her back, but it clearly couldn't work. I guess it could've, but neither of us would've been happy, so we decided to mutually end our relationship.

 We'd been together for about four years, so it was hard on me but the boys helped me stay grounded. They made sure I ate and recorded videos, especially Harry. He'd come over every day and help me record a challenge video, or footie. One night, I couldn't even bring myself to get off the sofa, I had no motivation. I wasn't exactly heartbroken, I just felt empty. I was used to sitting there, Freya's arms wrapped around my waist and we'd watch The Chase for an hour, or we'd just sit and chat in my free time.

That night, Harry came and sat with me. We barely said anything to eachother, but he sat at my feet, his shoulder pressed warmly against my shin. I noticed that night, he'd let his hair grow out, long enough so that it reached over the seat he leaned his head against and sat there comfortably. I'd felt like playing with it, the way I used to with Freya when she'd fall asleep halfway through a movie, or when we were sat eating our breakfast.

 It felt wrong though, creepy. I knew it was weird, so I just closed my eyes and listened to Harry breathing, even though that was just as creepy, if not more.

"Yeah," Tobi's voice brought me from my thoughts, he sounded out of breath as he dropped a ball at my own feet. "She was quite nasty to him. Not sure why she took it out on him, I thought your breakup was mutual."

"It was...What- what did she say to him? He's never mentioned this to me, clearly!" Tobi and JJ both raised their eyebrows and glanced away, unsure.

"Well, you know he likes you, right? It was along the lines of being on the 'wrong side of the scales, not good enough and not the right gender to come close to your standards'."

"Actually, Jide that's exactly what she said." There was a sense of humour in Tobi's voice and it made me frown even deeper.

No, I didn't know he liked me. 

"What does 'wrong side of the scales' mean?" It was all I could bring myself to whisper, before Harry and Simon came over, whispering quietly themselves. Harry's shoulder pressed against mine gently. It wasn't a shove or a nudge, it just...touched. It felt like a silent 'sorry', and I leaned subconsciously into it. It was comforting, but troubling too, after the information I'd just learned.

"You guys ready to start?" His voice rang clear and confident, it made me feel as if I was shaking.

"Actually, I think I'm going to sit this one out. I, um-" I felt the real shake in my voice gradually appear. I needed to think about this.

"He's not feeling well," Tobi told them and I just sat down where I was, crossing my legs as the boys voiced their complaints. He leaned down eventually and said quietly, "talk to him, Josh. He needs it."

-

Their game finished and they stopped the camera, coming to tidy up and putting away all the balls they'd used. Eventually, they all came and sat down around me, I barely even noticed. It was a nice day though, s they all just drank silently from their bottles, not making any other noise for a good five minutes.

"So, what's up, Josh? You seemed alright, earlier?" Simon asked, closing the lid of his bottle and hanging his head back, letting the light hit his closed eyelids.

"Just not feeling it,"

"Well, let us know if you're feeling the next one cuz we need all seven of us to play it. Shall we start in about twenty minutes, lads?" There were nods and hums of approval, I just picked at the grass, trying not to take notice of the bare knee brushing casually against my own. 

Just from the way he held himself, I could tell he felt guilty, but he still didn't know I knew. I was trying to work up the courage to speak to him. Now that I knew he liked me, it had never been so hard to look at him, or even say his name. I flinched when he let out a laugh in response to whatever JJ had said or done, his knee jolting against mine. 

I pulled my leg away and tucked them bth under my arms, resting my head on my knees. 

I felt like a child.

Finally, they left to set up again and left me with Harry. 

"Josh?"

"Harry," He nudged me and I turned my head to face him, my eyes squinting in the sunlight. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" he looked confused, before realising and shrugging, facing the floor.

He mumbled something along the lines of 'no point', 

"Of course you tell me, idiot!" I shoved him and he caught himself before leaning back into me, sighing. He seemed unsure and it made me nervous. "You know none of it's true, Harry. Don't be..."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly be a fool to believe it, and it's not like you can do anything about it."

"I want to," his head comes up level with mine when I say this and I smiled shyly. "You think I don't? Harry, I-"

"C'mon, Hazza." Ethan cuts me off, calling him to go and set up the cones for their challenge.

"Coming!" he yells over, before looking back to my, where I was now on my knees, dusting the picked grass off my joggers. "You gonna play?" I nodded, following him over and finally convincing myself to have a good time and think about Freya later.

-

"And then he says 'all stars' and fucking boots it," I can't contain myself at Ethan's laughing, along with his story of how Simon got drunk and kicked a pigeon in front of about thirty people. The entire living room is filled with laughter and although I'm tired and a little tipsy, I don't mind the noise. It makes me happy, everyone I love is happy and having a great time, there's no reason I shouldn't. 

"Yeah, yeah. And then you tripped over the curb laughing at me and sprained your elbow. I think I beat you," Simon protests, making JJ laugh hysterically as Ethan turns red and wheezes evem harder.

The kitchen door opens and Harry coming in with more pizza, earning a "Whey! Who's the best? Harry! Whey!" from JJ and I. He set it down on the table in the middle of us and sat at my side, pressed against me comfortably. He had a grin on his face from the chant and it made me chuckle.

We hadn't yet had another chance to talk about the situation, but he didn't seem too unhappy about it anymore. 

"You feeling alright?" I leaned over to murmur into his ear and I felt the heat radiate off of his cheeks as he nodded. "Follow me, then." I stood up and pulled him by his hand to his feet. He followed me back to the kitchen, where it smelled like vodka and cheese pizza.

"What's up?" he hummed to himself quietly as I swayed slightly, not sure how to word what I wanted to tell him.

"Well...What exactly did Freya tell you? I don't- I don't wanna put a downer on you right now or anything..." he shook his head, grinning.

"Is it important?" 

"I think it is."

"Okay," there was a breeze from the open window and I felt like I could sit here and talk to him forever. I wanted to have my life revolve around him, I really did. "Just some stuff about how I'm not good enough for you and shit. It didn't mean much coming from her anyway-"

"You're good enough for me!" my voice was quiet but he stopped, staring at me. He had a drink in his hand still, and I found my eyes glued to it.

"Yeah, I know that," he scoffed and it made me smile at his confidence. It made a shiver run through my body. "She said some other things too, which is what I was getting to." he told me the comment I'd heard on the field about scales. I'd suspected it may have been about his weight, because he wasn't stick thin. But, damn. Just damn. I liked his body. It was soft and comforting. It made you feel at home and he embraced his body. He wore whatever, but whatever looked amazing on him. He was at home in his body and it made his body so much more beautiful.

Now, I knew he was tipsy but I had a feeling he'd had a little more to drink than me. I saw his face pale and my heart dropped as he bit his lip.

"Harry..." I warned and he nodded. He hated crying and I didn't want him to be uncomfortable when he was supposed to be happy.

"I know," he laughed and I gripped his waist. "It's a little bit true, though."

"No," I tightened my hold and he placed his nose against my neck.

"Yeah, it is. I don't really mind, as long as you..." he trailed off, but I knew he wanted my approval. I certainly approved.

"I think you're beautiful, Harry. I love your body." he pressed his lips to my neck and I sighed, leaning against the island. "I think you're stunning. You're funny and beautiful and you know me so well. You know I couldn't ask of anyone for more. I don't want you to be like everyone else, I like you how you are."

"I love you."

"I know, gorgeous," I pressed my lips to his and felt his cheek dampen my own. "I love you, too."