twelve; need of comfort

         

The Starship had left the desert planet a few minutes after you had stumbled back aboard, dazed and confused.

You were instantly met with an interrogation from General Hux, who demanded to know why Kylo refused to talk to anyone. He wanted to know why Kylo hadn't brought back Major Ematt, wanted to know where Kylo was now.

Out of all the words that had spilled out his mouth, you had heard just one.

Kylo.

You had hung your head and walked past him, too distraught to answer any of his questions. On your way to your room you had walked past Kylo's, and felt the intense sadness and raw heartbreak radiating out from it.

You had never seen someone die before. Not in your arms. You were glad Kylo had pulled you out of stormtrooper training before you actually went on your first mission.

Stumbling into your room, you soon collapsed onto your bed and wept until sleep came for you.

*

That night, both you and Kylo had been plagued with nightmares.

Kylo had been the main protagonist of yours again. In your dream, you saw him standing on that same muddy terrain as your previous dream. His helmet concealed his face, looked as menacing and frightening as ever. You saw his rugged lightsaber pierce through the body of an innocent Padawan. You heard his heartbeat race in the dream, but you were unsure why it was doing so; there were so many conflicting feelings fluttering throughout his heart and mind. Anger, regret, pride, shame, sadness, eagerness. You saw the Jedi temple burning down in the background.

*

For once, Kylo's dream hadn't been about his family. It hadn't been about the look on his father's face as he touched Kylo's face for the last time, or the way his mum had kissed him goodbye on the cheek before he left for Jedi training.

In his dream, he had somehow found himself standing in a room, pitch black. He had reached for his lightsaber, but it wasn't there. His helmet wasn't on his head. He felt exposed. Vulnerable. He didn't know where the room began or ended. All he could hear was a voice crying, "you promised me you would protect me," over and over again, suffering echoing throughout the room.

Kylo had groped around in the dark trying to find the source of the voice. At first, he thought it had been Adelina. His teenage love. The one he had just see die. "I could never protect you," he shouted in his dream into the darkness.

But then he had realised, the voice wasn't Adelina's.

It was yours.

With the knowledge that the voice was yours and that you were in some kind of danger, he continued stumbling around, until finally, he came across your body. You were on your knees, your hands tied behind your back.

Kylo had tried to get you to stand up, but you had looked mournfully into his eyes and whispered, "You can't save me now."

Another figure had stepped out from the darkness from behind you.

It was Kylo Ren, helmet on, and with great force, brought down his ignited lightsaber on your skull.

*

Kylo wakes up, breathless and covered in sweat. Your screams, which he had heard in his dream, still ring loud in his mind, and he vigorously shakes his head, trying to get the sound out.

He doesn't know what the dream meant, he doesn't know if you're in any real danger right now.

He has to fight the urge to go check on you.

He gets out of his bed, takes off his black shirt, which had started sticking to his skin because of the sweat, and angrily flings it across the room. He checks to see if his lightsaber and helmet are still there.

He walks to the back of the room, places his palms flat on the cool metal walls until he finds the door opening. Using the Force, he makes the door slides open, and stumbles into the small room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

The ruined helmet, radiating dark power, sits on a little metal table, and Kylo crouches in front of it.

"Forgive me, I feel it yet again," he whispers to the helmet. "And I am no longer sure that I am capable of finishing what you started."

"The Dark Side of the Force is no longer alluring me. The pull I feel coming from the girl, it's much stronger."

*

"If you let the girl save you, you won't be able to save her in the end."

The sentence is uttered quietly, but Kylo's sharp senses pick it up and he wakes up again, for the second time that night.

The voice had sounded mysteriously familiar, but it makes Kylo feel like he is finally losing his mind. The message that the voice had brought him had been clear, he knows exactly who the girl is.

He pictures your face in his thoughts.

He sits back up in bed, holds his head in his hands, and although he tries his best not to let the tears spill, one does, and then another, and another, until he is weeping uncontrollably, all his bottled emotions finally spilling out.

*

You step out of your room, stand shivering in the corridor, your back leaning against the metal door. The sadness coming from Kylo's room is too loud for you to ignore it. You're engulfed by it, it's the only thing your ears seem to be picking up. You remember Snoke's words about the bond between you and Kylo.

How could you ignore his sadness when you were somehow spiritually connected to him?

You decide to take a chance and walk up to his room. You don't knock this time, but use the Force to slide the door open.

The room is pitch black, and it seems like there's no one there, but you can sense him here, know where he is.

"Kylo?" you call out.

Silence. Just the thump! thump! thump! of your heart beating loudly in your chest.

"I've- I've had- Kylo I can't sleep and I'm.. Scared." The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.

It's taken you this long to realise. You need him as much as he needs you.

You stand there for a few seconds, unsure of how he's going to react. But he doesn't. You don't get any reaction out of him. No reply, no shouting, nothing. You can't even see him.

"Never mind," you say weakly to the darkness, and turn to leave his room.

But then, from the quietest part of the room, you hear his deep voice saying, "Stay."





(A/N: Hi guys!!!! I'm so excited because I think I have finally figured out exactly where I want to take this story! The ending is still pretty unclear, but I've got so many good ideas for the rest of the story! How are you finding it so far? Any feedback? <3)

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