Carlson Hawthorne
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"It's not looking good, Sir." Joey said as we rounded up the millionth meeting we've had ever since the article came out a week ago.

I massaged my temple as I relaxed into my chair, my mind going over a lot of things, but only one managed to make my already horrible mood even worse.

Amaryllis Lexington.

It's been seven agonizing days since she shut the door in my face and walked away, without a single explaination. As much as a part of me wanted to believe that she walked away because she was hurt that I didn't trust her, the logical part kept screaming in my face that she walked away because she was too cowardly to own up to her actions.

The crazy thing, however, is that I am dying to see her, talk to her, and hold her. Heaven knows I miss her badly but the disappointment and the hurt just blocks me everytime I want to reach out to her. Plus, I've been swamped in so much board meetings just because I was trying to rectify the mess she made.

"I think you should head home and get some rest. We have three interviews tomorrow, starting as early as six-thirty." Joey adviced and I couldn't be more than happy to oblige, but I knew it wasn't possible. My head felt like it was going to explode, should I not get at least four hours of sleep tonight. I've been operating on ten hours of sleep for the week and it's taking it's toll on me.

"Resting is the last thing on my to-do list right now, Joey. I feel like if I close my eyes, everything will come crashing down instantly. Those guys are digging deep and trying to draw blood, and we have to be on top of our game if we want to salvage most of our shareholders."

The stress I was feeling inside was evident on his face, and I felt really bad for him. If only I had shut my mouth and kept my sad story to myself without confiding in Amaryllis, then we wouldn't be in such a fix. The innocent look on her could fool anyone. Heck, it almost fooled me. I was a step away from apologizing for calling her out on such actions until she ran away. Why else would she run if not because of guilt? If not because she was trying to play the victim. Although, that didn't sound like Amaryllis, but people can be quite complex and misleading.

"Yet you went ahead and fell in love with her. You've known her for what? Five days?" My subconscious mocked me and I ran a hand through my hair. How could I have been so gullible? Love never came easy for me and the first time I finally decided to give it a shot, I fell really hard and really fast, but unfortunately, it was for the wrong person.

"You really should head home. You've barely had a goodnight sleep. You've been shuffling meetings with your midterms, and now that you're done with your tests, you should use that time to rest. We'll pick up from where we left off in the morning." The advice seemed logical enough, plus my brain was just a sleepless night away from giving up.

On my ride home, I decided to take a quick detour to David's house. Although he could be really annoying and crazy, he is always everyone's go to person for the best advice ever, and I'm in desperate need of one right now.

I was just about to push the door of his house open when Sierra walked out, her face flushed and her eyes were red-rimmed. A low whistle escaped my mouth before I could even help it. Her tear glazed eyes shot up at me, widening in surprise. David has so much explaining to do.

"Carl. I was just leaving, I'll see you later." She said and ran off without looking back, not even giving me an opportunity to respond to her greeting or ask her why she looked like a wreck. I walked through the open door and saw David standing at the end of the stairs, his expression blank. One would think he would have some sort of disturbed look but he looked so casual, I almost thought I imagined the look on Sierra's face.

I pointed towards the door, "Did I just imagine Si walking out the door with tears or it actually happened?" A low chuckle escaped him as he walked towards me, extending his fist for a bump.

"It's real life, man. And before you start wondering what happened, I didn't do anything to her. I think that's exactly what I did wrong." Confusion wrapped my head like a thick blanket.

"Speak in English, man."

He sighed, guiding me to the sofa. "We've been talking for a while, over texts and sometimes phone calls. She initiated the conversations at first, then I realized she was really cool and we had a lot of things in common, so it was easy to keep up with the conversations. I had no other motives, Alex would kill me, but apparently that's not the case with her." My mouth formed an O. How could I have missed it? The signs were there. The way she clung to every word that fell from his mouth or added an extra pitch to her laughter whenever David cracked a joke. Alex would go crazy if he finds out.

"So, she came here to tell you she likes you?" I hoped, for Sierra's case, that it wasn't true. I heaved a sigh of relief when David shook his head.

"Nah. I've been managing her instagram page for her clothing business for a while now, just helping with the contents and all. She insisted on paying me but I refused. So, today she popped in bearing gifts, in an attempt to give back, and she met Loretta." My jaw dropped and soon enough, a chuckle escaped me before it turned into a full-blown laughter.

He glared at me, an annoyed look in his eyes, but that didn't stop me from howling in laughter. It wasn't until I was done laughing that I realized I hadn't laughed like that in a week. It was like when Amari left, she took my joy with her. Not like I had much before she came into my life, anyway.

"Loretta is the one you met at the movies, right?" He had a confused look on his face before realization dawned on him, and then he shook his head. "Nah, that was Lorraine. Loretta is my cousin, man! What were you thinking? I am not a manwhore." I gave him that 'really?' look and he shrugged.

"Why was Si in tears then? She must not really trust you enough to think you'd date your cousin." A slow smirk spread across in his face, "That's because I didn't tell her she's my cousin. Sierra is into me, man, and I am not allowed to be into her. So, I'd rather have her hate me, thinking I sleep with anything in a skirt, than have Alex throw a punch at my pretty face."

Although he was sounding playful about it, I didn't miss the hint of regret that coated his words. I could tell he liked her but he was fighting against it as much as he could, and that says a lot about how much he values our friendship, because the last thing David can do is hold back from a girl.

"That's wild. Anyway, I doubt she'll be able to hate you." He shrugged and we sat in silence for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I couldn't tell if he was thinking about Sierra or not, but I knew damn well I was thinking about Amaryllis. Her smile, her evil face, her sarcasm, and most of all, her sassiness. God, that girl could drive a man wild.

"Talking about girls, did you know Amari flew to Halloway yesterday?" I felt my breath leave my lungs as my head whipped around to stare at David, hoping he had some kind of silly grin on his face that implied that he was joking. Unfortunately, he didn't.

"Not permanently, man. You look like you're about to pass out. She went for the mid terms." The relief that flooded through me was unbelievable.

"If you're this scared to lose her, why did you let her go in the first place?" I shut my eyes, resting my head against the sofa.

"I didn't let her go. She walked away because she was too much of a chicken to admit what she did. I trusted her and she broke my trust." I heard David release a short sigh. "Don't be mad at me for saying this, but I don't think you trusted her enough. What would Amari gain from snitching on you? That girl loves you like crazy and she would never do that. She walked away because she was hurt that you would even accuse her of such."

"What was I supposed to think? The facts add up, bro. I told her, and a few weeks later, it's out on the news. Everyone else that knows about it have known for almost two years and yet it never came out on the news, then suddenly, I tell her and this happens." I ranted off my defense like it was pre-recorded in my brain, thanks to the numerous times I've analysed the situation in my head.

"You should have given her the benefit of doubt. I'm not the one in love with the girl, but I think I know how girls like Amaryllis function. They might seem wild on the outside, but they are always the most loyal you can find." The way David spoke about her with tenderness almost made me mad. Never mind that he's my best friend.

"Chill, man. You look like you're about to send me off to Hades. She's yours and I have no bad intentions." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes at him, but the words 'she's yours' replayed in my head like a broken record, filling me with warmth and assurance.

At that moment, I knew that no matter what happened, I'll do anything to get her back. Even if she ratted out my secret to New York Times or what's not, I'd still want her back because I needed her to function properly. I'll use the midterms to fix this mess and come up with a way to make things right.

"I have to leave. I need to get some sleep. I can barely think straight." I said, standing up. "Also, thanks for the advice. I needed it."

-----

When I arrived at home, I found my mum seating on the sofa, drinking a cup of coffee. She looked relatively sober and I caught a glimpse of the mum I grew up to know. I said hi and was on my way to my room when she stopped me in my tracks.

"Sweetheart, can we talk?" It's been so long since she called me that, and I found my legs walking over to her direction. I took the seat opposite her and nodded, waiting for her to continue. Although I was terribly sleepy, nothing could make me pass up the opportunity to have this talk with her. It's been far too long.

"How are you, son?" Maybe it was my exhaustion or the pain I was feeling over Amaryllis, but those words washed over me like a cool breeze, loosening the hard knot that tightened around my chest.

"I'm doing okay, mum." I wasn't, but I didn't want to dump all of that on her. At least, not now.

"I've been thinking a lot. I know I haven't being the best mum to you. Actually, I haven't been a mum to you, at all. The good news is, I've been trying to get help. I met a friend who has a degree in psychology and she's been trying to help me get back on track." She swallowed, her eyes filling with tears.

"You've been doing so much for me and I want to be there for you. Life and circumstances have heaped up so much responsibilities on you, and I didn't help you in shouldering any of them. Rather than step up and be there for you, I wallowed in my grief and self pity. I left you to fight your demons all alone, when you needed someone to be there for you. You needed a parent, and thanks to my irresponsibility, I reversed the roles, making you the parent. I know I can't make up for all the lost years, but I'm willing to give it a shot, if you will forgive me and allow me."

I almost couldn't believe my ears. The words sounded too good to be true. All I could do was stare at her, and the sincerity and honesty that swam in my eyes compelled me to walk up to her and wrap my arms around her.

"I'd love nothing more, mum. You have no idea how happy I am right now." I tried to keep the tears out of my voice, but when she broke down in my arms, nothing I did could stop the tears that trailed down my face. But this time, they were happy tears.

"Also, I have a confession to make." She cleared her throat, guilt overshadowing the emotions in her eyes, "I think the reason the company is facing so much problems is because of me. Before I met my psychologist friend, I got into a fight at a boutique. I had a clash with one of the ladies that we used to hold events together. She was raving about the progress her child was making, so I told her about you." I didn't like the direction this was going, and my arms fell limply to my side.

"I told her all about how you were the one running the company without any help from me. It wasn't until I said it that I realized I wasn't supposed to say anything. I didn't mean to hurt you, all I wanted to do was show that I have the best son in the world. I may not act like it or show it every time but you mean the world to me and I'm so proud of you." She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, "I had no idea she would publish the story but I think she did."

I froze up. The possibility that Amari might not have been the one who spilled the beans swam around my head in a very annoying manner. The events from that night played before my eyes; the concern in her eyes when she saw how troubled I looked, to the shock and confusion when I shouted at her, to the disbelief in her eyes when I blamed her, and finally the pain that shone in her eyes before she walked out.

I knew my mum didn't mean any harm, but it didn't stop me from getting angry. Not only did she ruin things at the company, she also ruined my relationship, if I could call it that. Jeez knows I've been having the crazy urge to officialize our relationship, but the fear of holding on her tightly and being responsible for her stopped me cold everytime. I was already responsible for so many things, I just couldn't think of adding one more person.

I knew I was supposed to say something, but I was too hurt, mad, and guilty to say a word. I ran up the flight of stairs till I was in my room, but rather than sleep, I picked up my phone and dialed joey.

"Sir, is there a problem?"

"Not at all, Joey. I need you to reduce all the interviews we have to one, and send a message to the board members that we'll be having a meeting as early as nine in the morning, and my mum will be joining us. I think we can save the company now." The excitement that radiated from Joey couldn't go unnoticed with the way he exclaimed.

"That's amazing, Sir. I'll do that right away." I knew he was about to hang up, but I couldn't let that happen. I haven't even told him the reason I called.

"The most important thing I called you for is that, I want you to call my pilot and tell him to get ready before noon. I need him to get me to Halloway. Also, clear my schedule for the week. I think I'll be taking an early vacation. I trust you to hold the forte at work, right?"

He responded with so much enthusiasm and I happily ended the call. All the fatigue and sleepiness I felt earlier slowly dissolved once I realized I would be seeing Amaryllis again in less than twenty four hours.

I knew she would show me hell before she even forgives me, but she would eventually forgive me. It's what people who love each other do.