"I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with."
Happier - Olivia Rodrigo

Unfortunately it's the weekend so we're both home rather than going to class separate from each other.

After I yell at Jia over the phone for putting me in this situation (her excuse being that he was the only option) i decide to get ready.

Standing in Sunwoo's room is so weird. It feels like home but I want to resist that feeling as much as possible.

I hesitantly walk down the stairs, expecting my ex boyfriend to pop out at any moment.

But once I make it to the kitchen I find a note folded in the middle.

Daeun - I'm going out to get groceries because I realized we have no food. Sorry about that.
Please make yourself at home and call if you need me.

- sun

Its stuff like this that I miss about him. The little things. He always knew when something was up and he always knew what to say.

But was all of that worth the heartbreak?

I end up doing homework in the living room. I feel my throat tickle a bit but I ignore it and continue. I text Marcus asking if he can meet up later today, but he says he's busy. he's a med student though, so I understand.

Sunwoo comes back around an hour later carrying a plastic bag.

He walks deeper into the house and sees me.

"Hey." Sunwoo says. He looks tired, like he didn't sleep last night.

"Hey," I say back. I clear my throat. "Did you... sleep okay? I can sleep on the couch, really it's not a problem."

"That's not the issue." Sunwoo says and hesitates before he adds, "I just couldn't believe that you were under the same roof as I am."

I look away from his desperate eyes. A part of those eyes look the same as that day in high school when we ended it. Still clinging onto whatever we had back then.

"Yeah well, don't worry it won't be for long." I say coldly.

Sunwoo nods and we separate to do our own routines. I spend the day in his room, and my throat feels scratchy. I feel hot so I take my jacket off, but as soon as I do I shiver from the cold.

No. No I am not about to get sick in Sunwoo's house. If I'm weak then I might give in. I will not.

But the cough gets so bad that I have to go downstairs to get water.

"Are you okay Daeun?" sunwoo asks, who's reading at the table.

"Mhm," I choke out, fast walking back upstairs and shutting the door.

In an hour my head begins to hurt and everything feels dizzy. I have to sit on the floor because it feels cooler down here.

I'll leave first thing in the morning.

I hold back coughing as much as I can because I know sunwoo can hear me. Eventually I hear a knock on my door.

"Daeun, are you really sure you're okay?" Sunwoo asks from the other side.

"I'm sure," I croak out, and I definitely to not sound okay.

I wait for a moment for him to walk away but he doesn't.

"Look I know everything is weird between us. And I'm not asking for forgiveness or to get back together. I just want to know that you're okay, as your roommate." Sunwoo says.

"And I'm telling you that I'm fine." I say, but my throat betrays me and I turn to a coughing fit.

"That's it I'm coming inside." Sunwoo creaks open the door and stares at me as I sit on the floor. "Daeun you should've told me you weren't feeling well."

"It's just a cough." I say, waving him off but he kneels down next to me.

Sunwoo gently touches my forehead with the back of his hand.

"You're burning up." He says quietly. "Please, let me take care of you."

"I don't need your help." I say, and Sunwoo's lips threaten a smile at my stubbornness.

He stands up and holds his hand out to me. "Come on."

I regretfully take his hand and we stand up. Sunwoo brings over a small table and sets it up next to the couch.

"Sit down please." He guides me over to the couch and I sit.

Sunwoo runs around the house, gathering medicine and a blanket and bringing them back to me.

"You don't need to do this." I say.

"Take care of you while you're sick?" Sunwoo asks.

"I have a boyfriend." I know it's a jerk move announcing that to his face. but if I put up the walls now, maybe it'll be easier for me later.

Sunwoo rests his hands on the armrest beside me.

"And where's your boyfriend now hm?" He asks. "Does he even know you're ill? Did he even pick up the phone?"

"He's..." I glance away from Sunwoo. "He's a med student."

"Ah. Well that fixes everything." He shakes his head and walks into the kitchen.

I desperately want to tell Sunwoo how great our relationship is. How it's strong, and built on trust. But I can't bring myself to do that. I'd be partially lying to myself.

And I'd be lying if I say I didn't miss the thrill of being with Sunwoo.

"I'll get you some tea." Sunwoo says, when I don't respond. He shuffles over to the kitchen and I sigh.

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.

Sunwoo hands me a cup of tea and the doorbell rings. He walks over to the front door and opens it, and I hear him sigh from the other room.

"Hi Sunwoo!" A familiar voice says.

"Shit." Sunwoo says. "I forgot to tell you guys to cancel."

"Huh? Why?" Another voice says, and I leap off the couch, running towards them.

"Oh my gosh," I break out into a smile when I see Chanhee, Kevin and Jacob standing in the doorway.

"No way." Chanhee screams. "Daeun??"

"It's been forever!" Jacob smiles.

"How have you been?" Kevin lets himself in and the rest of them do as well.

Sunwoo starts, "Guys. She's-"

"What happened to you?" Chanhee asks. "You look awful."

"I'm sick." I say.

"Aw. Nothing too bad is it?" Jacob asks.

"Nope," I say.  "I can't believe you guys are here."

"I can't believe you're here." Kevin laughs.

"oh yeah." Chanhee suddenly frowns. "Why are you here?" He glances from me to Sunwoo. While Jacob and Kevin remember remember what went down in high school, an awkward silence fills the air.

"She needed a place to stay for a bit." Sunwoo cuts in. "We're just roommates temporarily."

"Ah." Chanhee faces away from sunwoo to give me a look.

The three boys let themselves further into the living room and spread out on the seating areas.

"Sorry. I forgot I invited them over a while ago. It completely slipped my mind." Sunwoo says quietly to me. "I can ask them to leave."

"No don't worry about it. I'm glad they're here." I say, and we join them in the living room.

"So how have you all been?" Kevin asks everyone.

"Pretty good." Chanhee sits on the same couch as me and rests his feet on my lap.

"Are you guys here to visit?" I ask Jacob.

"Yeah, Kevin and I ended up going to the same college in Canada, but we're here for break." he answers.

"What about you Chanhee? What are you majoring in?" Kevin nods to him.

"It took a lot of convincing to my parents, but I was able to go to a school for fashion and design. At first they were upset that I was wasting my study skills, but that argument with them was well worth it." chanhee says.

"That's amazing," I tell him.

"And what about you two? How in the hell did you end up at the same school?" Chanhee asks Sunwoo and I.

"Not too sure," sunwoo says. "And we didn't know it until... until a couple days ago."

Kevin glances from me to Sunwoo with a mischievous look.

"Daeun what about you? How have you been?" Jacob asks softly.

"Yeah and why are you rooming with this guy?" Chanhee adds.

"...well actually my roommate kicked me out." I admit.

"What?!" Kevin exclaims. "Why??"

"She- I don't know." I say hesitantly. "just some stuff with her boyfriend."

"I'm lost." Kevin says. "Why would she kick you out?"

"It's complicated." I tell him. "She thought, that something happened. But really, it wasn't... it wasn't my fault."

"That's completely unfair!" Chanhee yells. "Did you speak up for yourself?"

"I tried, but she's so in love with him she couldn't imagine him doing anything bad." I say.

Sunwoo and I accidentally make eye contact and he's pretending not to listen closely but I know he's gripping onto every word.

"That sucks," Jacob adds. "Other than that, how is your grandma? And your sister?"

"Both good! My sister is still in primary school, so luckily not much has changed since then." I say. 

There's a sudden knock on the door and Sunwoo stands up to answer.

"Um, can I help you?" We hear Sunwoo saying from the front room.

"Er- is Daeun here?" Another familiar voice asks, and my heart leaps.

"Daeun!" Sunwoo calls.

I rush over to see my boyfriend standing in the doorway. I forgot what he looked like for a second, since I haven't seen him in a while. His brown hair has gotten more fluffy, and he towers over Sunwoo. Sunwoo stares at him for a second before leaving the room.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I thought I'd come see if you were okay." Marcus says. "i heard you were sick?"

"It's just a cold I think." I tell him, staring up at his green eyes.

"Ah, okay good." He answers. "I actually can't stay for long. I have to go... I have homework."

"Okay, no problem." I say, as usual.

"Thanks for being so understanding," he gives a small smile.

"Are we still on for friday though?" I ask.

"Friday...?" He tilts his head. "Did we have something planned?"

"um, yeah. Our 100th day anniversary," I hate that I have to remind him that.

"Oh!" He says quickly. "This friday?"

"Yeah," I say. I recognize the look on his face.

"Shit I'm sorry Daeun." He says. "I'm on an all day class field trip on Friday. It's a really important research project that-"

"It's okay." I interrupt him. If I hear more of his excuses I might say something I'll regret. "Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal."

"okay," he says. "Well, I have to go now. I'll text you tonight."

"Alright." I wave at him and he leaves. Not a hug or a kiss. By the looks of it, you wouldn't even think we were dating.

I shut the door and lean my forehead on it, closing my eyes in frustration.

"Dude." Kevin says, and I jump in surprise. He's leaning against the stairwell behind me. "Dump him."

"Huh??" I exclaim. "You scared me."

"He sucks. You could do so much better," Kevin adds. "He made it sound like he was being forced to visit you. Does he even know you're sick?"

"He does." I argue. "And give him a break. He's a med student. That's the first time I've seen him in nine days."

"You count?" Kevin crosses his arms.

"It's..." I trail off.

"That's not fair to yourself, daeun. You shouldn't have to count the days that go by where you don't see him. And for what? For a two minute visit?"

"He's just busy." I say.

"And? He'll always be busy if he's going to be a doctor. Do you really want to live like this?" Kevin asks.

It's like a slap in the face for me to look at it realistically.

"All I'm saying is that... in high school you had a different glow in your eyes. And now it's gone, so I really don't see this Marcus bringing you so much joy for you to go through this." Kevin says when I'm silent. "I'm just asking that you'll think about what you really want."

What I really want?

"Anyway, let's just enjoy a good time since we're here yeah?" Kevin slings an arm around my shoulder and we walk back to the living room.

"Is that a Canadian accent in hearing Kevin Moon?" I tease him.

"Girl it's always been like this!" He laughs.

My friends and I spend the rest of the day talking and laughing just like old times. Almost like how it was in high school. Almost.