"I can't believe you're actually leaving," I said to my mom as she packed up.

Joel and I had been home for days, and he as sort of living n a cloud. Apparently, his team on The Voice was amazing, and he was convinced he would win. The twins were getting bigger each day, and Bryan even spent some time awake now and then. Things with my Dad were still weird, but he was a good literary agent. So, at least we had a relationship developing, even if it wasn't what I really wanted. It was a good start, and we were speaking daily. I hadn't been able to say that in over a decade. But my mom's vacation time ended, and that meant she was going to be leaving me. And surprisingly, I was heartsick over it. I actually enjoyed her company these days, and the extra help with the twins was wonderful.

"I'm still in California. Besides, it wouldn't hurt you to leave Hollywood and visit Lodi. You know, the place you and Joel used to live at before you two got all "famous." I mean, the wedding will be there, right?"

"Right," I said. "I just, I love you Mom."

"Don't get tears eyed yet," she said. "We have some work to do today."

"What kind of work?" I asked.

"When you and Joel finally set a date," she said, a hint of frustration in her voice. "You'll need to send out save the date cards, and set up a wedding website. I was thinking the website could have one of those digital slide shows with cute pictures of you two. We could add everything, like your baby photos and Joel's baby photos. And there is all those prom photos of the two of you. And of course, recent pictures too..."

"You've put a lot of thought into this," I said.

I suppose it's a good thing I didn't get married in Vegas, I never knew it, but my mom had been dreaming of my special day for, well, apparently my whole life. At least one of us had ideas, after I bought my dress, I was a blank slate. I didn't care one bit about center pieces or invitation fonts.

"That's my job," she said. "I have some old photo albums, and we can pick out our favorite pictures. I'm having Joel's sister get pictures of him."

"You and Stephanie are friendly," I said, shocked.

"We get along," my mother said. "Although, she talks too much."

I chuckled, actually agreeing with my mom.

We got to work, sorting through photos while also holding, feeding, and soothing the babies. I held Blake, and she just laid awake in my left arm and I used my right hand to flip through photos.

"Oh my word," I said. "I remember this Halloween. I was a Christmas tree and Stephanie was a present. We are so cute!"

"A little strange," Mom said. "But you were a very cute Christmas Tree."

"Oh," I said, turning the page. "There's the year we went. Camping in Oregon. That was so much fun."

"Yes it was." My mom was sorting baby photos.

Her type-A personality was in organization mode, so conversation halted. I turned the next page and saw a photo of me and a man, who had a bushy beard and light blonde hair. My exact color of blonde, and my blue eyes. I squinted, trying to remember who he was. In the photo, I was smiling and he was holding me. I couldn't have been older than four.

"Mom, who is this guy? Are we related?"

My mother's face went pale and she just stuttered for a minute. I thought it was strange, but I figured I just distracted her from her focused work.

"Mom, you're freaking me out," I said. "Is this my real father, some milkman or something..."

My mother shook her head and her eyes watered. Apparently, a joke was the wrong thing to do.

"Ok," I said. "We can move on, clearly you don't want to discuss this guy..."

"He's your uncle Jared" She said. "He's your father's brother."

"I thought Dad didn't have any brothers," I said.

"He has one," Mom said. "They stopped speaking, years ago. It was a very hard time for all of us."

"Is that why it upset you," I said. "Because he did something wrong, and he hurt Dad."

"Jared didn't do anything," she said. "It was all my fault, and it always has been."

After putting Bryan in his bouncy seat, my mom stood up and rushed to the bathroom. I let her leave. I didn't know why she was freaking out, but sometimes my mother needed space. Even now, she was good at being vulnerable and open. I leafed through more photos, and soon enough she returned.

"You ok?" I asked. "We can talk if you want, or we can let it go. It's your call."

"I want to talk," Mom said. "I've kept too many secrets for too long."

I closed the photo album and looked up, surprised.

"What secrets," I said. "You're a mom, you don't have secrets."

"Oh, how I wish that were true," she said. "You will protect your children too, Angie. From your mistakes, from people who want to hurt them. That is what mothers do."

"I understand," I said. "So, do you want to talk about it?"

"Your uncle wasn't close to you," My mom said. "Your father and Jared, they never got along. Jared thought he was rough and cared too much about money. Jared worked for the LAPD; he probably still does."

"So, what happened? What made them drift apart," I asked.

"It's complicated, but just promise me you won't judge me."

"I won't," I said. "There's nothing you could say, Mom. Nothing could make me love you less."

"That's good, because this might shock you," she said. "Your Father left me once before the divorce, when you were just a toddler. And in that time, I had an affair with your uncle Jared."

"What," I said. "I mean, what? You, you had an affair? And then you and Dad got back together again..."

"It's complicated," she said. "Your father was so hostile and distant. It won't surprise you that he cheated on me. I found out he'd been with a woman, in our house, and I lost it. I packed up some bags, and all your favorite toys, and we went to LA. I guess you've always been a Hollywood girl..."

"So Jared took us in," I asked. "We moved in with a relative, because Dad screwed up."

"Yes," my Mom said. "That picture was from a trip we took with your uncle, a camping trip. Oh Angie, you loved Uncle Jared's house. You were only four, but you kept saying 'I love it here, Mommy doesn't cry here.' It broke my heart, because I'd always thought you didn't see how we fought."

"Oh Mom," I said. "It wasn't your fault; I know you tried."

"I know, I just wanted you to understand." She said. "I didn't intend to break marriage vows. I only wanted a safe place for us, for you to be a happy little girl. And you were, we were happy. And Jared, he was so understanding. He was kind, and funny, and he was a good man. I just, I found myself falling for him."

"And he felt the same?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "After a few weeks, it felt different. Your father and I were filing divorce papers. We had a few drinks one night after you went to bed, and we were having a good time. I don't know who started it, or how it began, but he kissed me. I loved him."

"Ok," I said. "Is that it? You kissed a man, while Dad was trying to divorce you. That is nothing."

"You say that," she said. "But your Dad showed up the next morning, all apologetic. I guess his mistress left him, And you were so happy to see him, Angie, I knew. I'd stay with him, because he'd be close to you then."

"Mom," I said. "I never knew you made sacrifices for me."

"I told your father, and he was so angry at Jared. He made me feel like I was horrible, like I had betrayed him."

"Right, because Dads affair was probably just one kiss..."

"But it was his brother, Angie! The details don't matter, what I did was wrong."

"No," I said. "You were a woman with needs, and Dad didn't meet them."

"Maybe, but I went back. Your uncle begged me to stay, he said your father would never change. I wish I'd listened..."

"So, did you ever see him again?" I asked.

She shook her head and sighed. And I knew, I just knew, he was the love of her life.

"I started going to church after that," she said. "I found a different kind of love."

"But Mom," I said. "You loved Jared, and Dad left. Didn't you think about finding him after the divorce?"

"I did," she said. "He'd changed his number, and I just thought it was a sign."

"Ok," I said. "Thanks for sharing with me Mom."

"Anytime," she said. "I am happy, you know. I have beautiful grand babies, a good job, and friends. What else could I need?"

"I love you mom," I said.

We went back to work on the photo search, but an idea was lurking in my mind. My mom took off that night, but I was still thinking about her past and all the things she'd done for me. I'd never even thought she cared. My mom hadn't been callous towards me, she'd been hardened by loss and pain. I was sitting up in bed when Joel came in.

"Hey beautiful," Joel said. "Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep," I said. "I was thinking about something my mom told me."

"Oh no," Joel said. "Your parents are so dramatic. What happened?"

"Nothing bad," I said. "It's just, she told me she was once in love with my Dad's brother."

"Your Dad has a brother?"

"I guess Dad disowned him after he found out," I said. "It's complicated. My mom went back to my Dad for me. I feel like she lost her chance at happiness for me."

"It's never to late," Joel said. "Why doesn't she pick up a phone, call him?"

"They lost touch," I said. "I just wish there was a way to help my mom."

"Usually I'm against your meddling," Joel said. "But a happy mother in law could be good."

"There's nothing I could do," I said.

"Angela, finding people is easy," Joel said. "Have you tried google?"

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"I don't know," Joel said. "You're the blogger, after all. Or you were...well..."

"I'm fine," I said.

I reached for my laptop. Joel kissed me and told me to go nuts with my research, but he was snoring in minutes. I clicked away and found tons of information on Jared Blake, the LA police officer. I didn't have a direct contact number, but I had the address of his old police precinct. I wrote it down and curled up next to Joel, a plan forming in my head. I would find uncle Jared, and let me Cupid ways take part. Because I wanted my mom to feel the way I did when I snuggled up next to Joel, safe and loved.

Everyone deserved that.