Based on the song by Lewis Capaldi... I really love his songs, if you couldn't tell :)

This is my interpretation of the song, so... enjoy x

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Brooklyn

Her hand hits my face so ferociously that I trip back and hit my head on the wall on my way down.

My vision explodes into white, and I can't see a thing. All I can feel is the pain on the back of my head, and the pain in my heart. Breaking. All. Over. Again.

'I said we're done Brooklyn! I'm going!' She screams, 'don't you dare try and stop me!'

I try to speak, but I can't make the words. I can't say that I want her to stay. That I forgive her. Again. I can't say that I love her. Still. I can't say the words, and I wonder if it's because it's not true anymore.

'Wait,' I croak out, 'don't go... please,' I whimper, but I hear nothing. I wonder if she's gone already. Shut the door. Down the stairs. Left the house.

Counting days, counting days

Since my love up and got lost on me

And every breath that I've been takin'

Since you left feels like a waste on me

I've been holding on to hope

That you'll come back when you can find some peace

'Cause every word that I've heard spoken

Since you left feels like a hollow street

I can hear nothing, and so I don't know anything. I can't see anything. I can feel her hands on my body, I can feel where her touch left bruises, only this time it's in places visible.

The boys are out, and have no idea. It wasn't serious before... she loved me, and I loved her. They didn't need to worry. I had everything under control. At least I did.

I still can't see anything, but I crawl to my feet, stumbling and shaking. I blink over and over again, and the brightness dulls, the stars in my vision die, and I can see again. I stare around me, see the emptiness that is now my room.

Gone. She's gone. And this time she's not coming back. I run a hand through my hair, wince when the pain on my face sparks again. My heart thuds.

'She's gone,' I whisper to myself. But I'm not happy... I'm terrified. Terrified that I have no one to hold onto. Terrified that I have no on to in my safe space.

I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind

But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind

Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side

I lift my fingers to trace the mark I know is on my face, pleading that it won't fade for a while. That it'll linger, and stay with me. A reminder of her.

I look down, tears in my eyes, and the handprints on my arms blur into many. Fingerprint after fingerprint that trails down my arms, a beautiful mosaic of purple and black and blue. She's not violent... she just loves intensely. She's passionate.

My hand covers my mouth, and I swallow back down a sob. She's gone.

There must be something in the water

'Cause everyday it's getting colder

And if only I could hold ya

You'd keep my head from going under

I lock myself in the bathroom, and spend so long in the shower. Crying silently. Letting the water wash over me, strip me bare, drown me. I just don't remember the water being this cold. I don't remember feeling so numb as I do now. I don't know this feeling; it's something new.

My heart bursts as I think of her, so angry and so upset that she left finally. I thought she wouldn't. I thought she'd stay, as she always does. My one constant. My intense constant. But no. She upped and left like every one does, and I'm trying not to fall apart in the shower, alone. Drowning in cold water. Drowning in my love, and the colours that bleach my skin.

Pretty soon I'm out of the shower, dry, sat on the end of my bed in shorts. I don't bother with a shirt. I know the colours are there. I look down and smile sadly. I miss her... at least I have something to remind me of her by.

'Please don't fade away,' I whisper, 'please stay a while. Keep me company, please. You look so beautiful,' I say, trace my fingers over the gradients of colour.

And I sit there, lost in my thoughts, lost in myself, so lost that I don't hear my door creak open.

'Oh thank God,' I hear from the doorway, 'we didn't know where you were.'

The voice sounds relieved.

'I mean, my room is always a solid bet,' I say. I'm quiet, and I make no move to hide the colours on me. I make no move to move at all; I just stare at the wall, elbows on my knees.

Maybe I, maybe I'm just being blinded

By the brighter side

Of what we had because it's over

Well there must be something in the tide

'Brook... is everything alright?' Sonny asks.

I don't answer. I don't even look at him. I tune him out completely, because I don't know what to say. I don't know how to explain myself; how do I explain something like this? Something so messed up, and simple, as my relationship with her.

There's a gentle, skinny hand on my back, and I shiver; I realise I've been shaking this time.

'You're shaking Brooklyn...' he says. Rubs his hand a little on my back. I feel myself relax, although I wish that it's her coming back. I know it isn't, and that makes me feel worse.

I sigh, and a whimper trickles from my mouth before I can stop it. I clamp a hand over my mouth, but Sonny's heard enough.

'Talk to me,' he pleads gently. Spins me around.

I hear him gasp.

'Brook... Brooklyn did she...'

My friend's lost for words, but so am I. I know I have to say something.

'Yes, she broke up with me,' I say, although I know that wasn't where he was going with that statement. I'm just so tired, of everything.

Sonny doesn't speak, and I sit there in silence. I've turned myself back around, and he hasn't moved. I guess he's shocked, just like I am, although for completely different reasons.

He's shocked to see me covered in bruises.

I'm shocked she's gone. For good, this time.

'She, she did this to you?' he asks carefully. I wonder why he's being so careful.

'Yeah,' I say. I trace the black handprint on my wrist as I do so.

I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind

But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind

Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side

I hear Sonny breathe beside me. 'Does it... does it not hurt?'

I smile, and press my fingers into my skin, on top of hers.

'No. No. I can't feel it anymore. It's like it's a part of me now,' I explain softly.

He lets out a sharp breath.

'And, has this been happening for long?' He asks.

I guess it's questions at the moment.

'A while,' I say. I don't say the whole time. I don't say much. Just the gist.

Just like I never said anything before. I could handle it, I still can.

'Brook... why did you never say anything? I could've helped you,' Sonny says, his voice shaking.

I just shake my head. Let my own wrist go when I start to feel a little pain.

'I was fine, she loved me, and now...'

I trail off, but it's not to cry. I feel like I should be crying, but instead I just stare and do nothing.

There's arms around me, and I subconsciously lean into them. Lean into the warm chest that holds me. Tight, like they mean it. Like they care about me. No hands pressing into my skin, deep.

It's that that causes the tears to spill over. It's the tenderness and softness that Sonny offers, that he's made of. He's gentle, and his gentleness breaks me.

'Shh Brooklyn. Hey now, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere,' he whispers into my ear.

But she did. She upped and left. She upped and left, and she left these beautiful colours on my body.

'I love her Sonny... I still love her. Is that bad?' I ask once I've calmed down.

I'm still crying, but not as horrendously and as embarrassing as before. And Sonny didn't let me go once. If anything, he held onto me tighter. My words tremble, and so does my whole body.

There must be something in the water

'Cause everyday it's getting colder

And if only I could hold you

You'd keep my head from going under

'No, Brooklyn. No, of course not. You can't control what your heart says. Your feelings are fluid, and always changing, and that's going to be the hardest thing for you; allowing them to change,' he says slowly. The strength in his voice, the reassurance... I can hear how hard he's trying. For me.

But sometimes it's never enough.

'What if I don't want them to change?' I ask hollowly.

I enjoyed her company. I loved her... still do. I love her, but she's not coming back this time.

'They will change,' Sonny repeats, 'but I'll be here, right with you, whenever you need me.'

He drops his head onto my shoulder, and just breathes. I lean back, and revel in his gentle touch; I'm not used to it.

In a weird, morbid way, I crave the violence. But in this tender moment with Sonny, I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't be.

'Stay with me tonight?' I speak up, 'I don't wanna be alone.'

I think I feel Sonny smile.

'Yeah. Yeah of course. I'll stay.'

He says this, and I've never felt safer, although I'm still exhausted.

***

'Do you think she really loved me Sonny?' I ask.

By now we're under the covers, and he's holding me in his arms. I haven't covered my body up, and I don't feel the need to. I don't want to, would be a better way of putting it. She gave me these colours, and I love them, somehow, as I love her.

Yet it's also because I don't want to hide anymore.

'I think she did, to start with. I think she still does, just in her own, wrong, malicious way,' he said, and I know he's eyeing the colours that stain my skin, 'she loves you Brooklyn, but not in the way you deserve to be loved.'

'You think so?' I whisper, close my eyes, and snuggle into him further. I think he laughs, but I can't be sure, because he's as serious and honest as ever.

'I wouldn't hit the person I loved. I would never dream of it. I think she loved the power she had over you.'

And then it makes sense to me, a bit. These colours on my body, no matter how beautiful I find them... they're a reminder of her dominance. Of her power. Of power that I let her have, because I love her that much.

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

I'm taken back to my hesitation from earlier, when she first left. Did I really want her to come back? Did I really want her to stay?

Or was it me thinking that this was the love I deserve? That this is the only love I'll ever get?

I can't decide, but things are becoming clearer to me.

'Was I weak then? For letting her have that power of me?' I ask.

I need an answer. I need to know. I need to know...

'Love makes people do crazy things. You love her, and so you let her. Forgave her for it,' he said after a few seconds.

That isn't the answer I want. It isn't the answer I need. Not what I need to know...

'Was I weak?' I repeat, and I feel tears crawl down my cheeks. I sniff, and hide in Sonny's chest.

He sighs, but it's not out of annoyance, or frustration. It's out of pity. That's the difference between Sonny and her.

'No. Never. You were the strongest you've ever been Brooklyn, because you endured. You stayed for love, and that's a strong thing to do...' he stops, and I can hear him thinking.

'But...' I add on, sensing he hasn't finished talking. I'm nervous about what he's going to say. He rubs circles into my skin, and I relax a little, and just breathe.

'But an even stronger thing to do is walk away from it,' he finishes quietly. Dips his head to rest on mine.

It's your love I'm lost in

Your love I'm lost in

Your love I'm lost in

And I'm tired of being so exhausted

Your love I'm lost in

Your love I'm lost in

Your love I'm lost in

Even though I'm nothing to you now

Even though I'm nothing to you now

I wipe my eyes. 'I'm covered in reminders of her, Sonny,' I say.

And I am. I'm covered in colours, in beautiful patterns, in the shape of her hands and fingers. Her knuckles. I'm covered in her, and I can't change it. I look at my wrist in the dark, and I see the black stain on my skin. Hold it up in the air.

Sonny takes it in his hands, and brings it to rest on his chest. Doesn't speak.

'I'm covered in reminders of her, and I don't want them to fade. I don't want her to fade,' I say through tears.

My friend hugs me tighter. Traces his own patterns on my skin. Calms me down.

Another difference between Sonny and her.

'They will fade Brooky, as will she, in time,' is all he says. But it's all he needs to say, really.

'I'm so lost, Sonny,' I whimper. Turn my head and rest it on his chest, pull my stained wrist close to my heart.

He kisses the top of my head. 'I know. But I'm not going anywhere. And neither are the others,' he reminds me.

Despite having only arrived weeks ago, Sonny's become like a brother to me, and right now I appreciate him a lot. I appreciate the fact that didn't turn tail and leave.

Like she did.

'Get some sleep Brook. We'll talk more in the morning... You're exhausted mate,' Sonny whispers.

I nod. 'Thank you,' I yawn.

There must be something in the water

'Cause everyday it's getting colder

And if only I could hold you

You'd keep my head from going under

There must be something in the water

'Cause everyday it's getting colder

And if only I could hold you

You'd keep my head from going under

Sonny shifts and lies down further. I pull him closer, my arms on his chest.

'Love you bro,' he says as my eyes slip closed.

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"Maybe I'm just being blinded by the brighter side."

Love WolfGirl.❤️