Redundant Apocalypses

Chapter 3: RCT3 Peep Bowling Flattens A Universe

Date: March 20th, 2022

Intro: I want to start this chapter not with humor but to honor the memory of my mother along with Yu-Gi-Oh! creator Kazuki Takahashi. My mom was a very unique individual. She did a lot for myself and my siblings. Her influence on my life is profound. She helped me out immensely with so much, including the development of my boundless creativity. I miss her, it feels weird not having her around and I still can't believe she's passed on. Kazuki Takahashi's very recent passing doesn't hit as hard because I was a fan of his and not a friend or kin of his. But still, his most legendary work Yu-Gi-Oh! has substantially affected the course of my life. He just like my mom, did a lot of good in the fun and creative realms and I hope more people are touched by their legacies going forward. I would go deeper but I want to get on with the show. Now onto the chapter based on the video game Roller Coaster Tycoon 3! That game has been a source of joy, creativity, and laughter for me on and off for a long time. And now I will exaggerate the chaos that is called using roller coasters to send RCT3 peeps flying and make them cheer, scream, or utter "oh no". Enjoy!

*Summer Air soundtrack from RCT3 plays* It was a nice sunny day in a generic flat green sandbox park called Sandbox. The date was March 1st, Year 1, it was morning and a white speck just appeared hovering some distance away from the regular park entrance. The speck immediately began to build a theme park full of flat rides, roller coasters, and all sorts of other wholesome things for guests to enjoy. But after hours in Earth time, the date was now March 1st, Year 10 and the speck just erased every attraction they put in without second thoughts. After this, they hire hundreds of entertainers to entertain and trap guests in a loop of joy and pain. And of course, the speck deleted all the stalls without a care for any of the peeps too except for a bathroom. Then they deleted nearly all the pathways so all the peeps would clump together with the nightmare swarm of park entertainers so the guests would probably never leave and always suffer. The park inspector was not pleased by the sight and starts sending messages to the speck: "A lot of peeps are hungry. Consider placing more food stalls." "A lot of peeps feel sick. Consider placing benches and First Aid stalls." The speck ignores the messages and deletes the one tile of path that is letting people leave the park.

Upon doing so, they start building a LIM launched roller coaster with a really long station designed to fly off the rails and crash into the mass of entertainers and suffering peeps. As that happened, the park inspector kept sending out message after message. A month in RCT3 time passes and the park gets fines like Most Untidy Park and Most Disappointing Park with ease. That LIM launched coaster is finished and somehow the speck puts in a train with a nightmarish 40 cars in total instead of several trains of 8. So among thousands of peeps who now know true pain getting more desperate and uncomfortable even with all the cute panda mascots doing tricks and intriguing all especially the children, the roller coaster gets saved and duplicated about 9 times. All at once, they are commanded to begin test mode. This causes all the coasters to have their 40 row cars collide with the crowds after being sent off the rails with the leftover speed from the launch. They're like long mechanical snakes with wheels and so, 400 explosions light up the park which is now dark due to the night. The sounds of thousands reacting to being thrown around, falling, and whatever else becomes deafening for several minutes. Then the whole universe reacts too. Suddenly, everything becomes completely flat. Now the peeps look far more terrifying than they do when they open their mouths to scream because they're now paper thin and long. The explosive power was somehow that immense. Because of all this, the flattened universe is thrown into chaos. Since gravity basically doesn't exist anymore, planets and other bodies become rogue speeding disks of death.

The designated guardian of the universe does their very best to prevent any collisions but it takes a lot of effort and energy. Guardians are only meant to interfere when it's necessary. Anyway, I just so happened to stop by my house in Galados Isle to see what's up in and around it. In the mailbox, I got an urgent letter: "What's this? Let's see. A call for help from the RCT3 park inspector who was reformed after going bad? ...Holy shit. How the fuck is that possible? I must go to Dominic and the others immediately!" The RCT3 universe flattened? Explosions do no physical damage in the game and peeps are basically invincible so how?! I teleport to Miitopia BRAINS right away and call Dominic who has been somehow chosen again to take care of the main computer in our base. He answers my call: "Adam! Good morning! Is everything all right? Blaze told me you went to your house, did something happen there?" "I'll tell you soon. I just wanted to tell you we have a problem before I get to you." He replies in understanding and I run at top speed to the meeting room we have the computer in. Dominic yawns: "Tell me the issue and we'll start taking care of it right away."

I handed him the letter from the park inspector: "Remember the park inspector that got reformed after being really bad? He sent me a letter urgently requesting help as a white speck aka player somehow managed to flatten the RCT3 universe while playing peep bowling." "That's impossible! We of Miitopia BRAINS can't set up the perfect team with just our members. I'll take a picture of this letter and send it to Science BRAINS. Since members of that are from multiple different branches and universes, this will spread fast." He takes the picture and sends it immediately through the computer with a message attached. Doc Brown, Kaito, and V(Quinton) are the only ones to respond. They volunteer themselves for the mission team while Dominic decides to go with me too. We meet up with the 3 right away in my most recent version of the Ghost Town scenario where some real shit happened last year. The Park Inspector sneaks up on us and startles me: "Thank you everyone for coming! I'm so sorry for what I did, it wasn't right for me to do it. But I've changed." I reply: "That's great and don't worry about it! Anyway, I can't believe how flat everything is. How did you avoid getting flattened? I've never seen this strange of a sight! Even the inverted roller coaster I put in this park looks like a weird nightmare. It's unnerving! We could easily step on any peeps without realizing it!"

"Well, I don't actually know. Myself and 3 others somehow managed to avoid being flattened. Those others will be here soon. And then we can figure out what's going on." Right on schedule, VIP peep and singer Kara Oki, a depressed looking janitor, and a bored mechanic walk over to us. The mechanic says: "I'm so bored. There's nothing left to inspect or fix." Doc Brown remarks: "Great Scott! The people in the park are still alive! No one can survive a force strong enough to flatten an entire universe! What's up with this? Dominic relayed info about the incident but in all my years, I've never seen something this confusing! I invented a time machine and yet this is still new to me!" V speaks up: "We must first go to where this all started. My father entered another dimension a long time ago and returned with the body of a child. Years later, I was defeated and sent to Barian World. It's hard for anything to surprise me at this point. I believe an anomaly in your universe helped cause the incident." Kaito agrees: "Based on our experiences with other universes, it's best to theorize that that's what's going on. Or maybe it was a number. Orbital managed to sneak away from me when I was working with my own father earlier so I can't tell."

Dominic sweat drops: "It feels odd to be taking such a ridiculous situation so seriously. Just look around! It's a shock that this planet hasn't collided with anything else yet!" "That is true. Now come on, we must hurry. The white speck may be planning more trouble as we speak. Normally, I wouldn't do or say anything about that but they flattened the entire universe. Even I'm stumped as to how they pulled that off." He tells us where to go exactly and Dominic teleports all of us there immediately. We hide behind the somehow intact park entrance and continue talking: "This is a universe tied to a video game. It's possible that the coding of the game is directly linked to the functionality of this universe. That's likely because players of the game like myself change this world with the parks we build. We have boundaries on what we can do determined by the code of Roller Coaster Tycoon 3. Limits on height and speed which can be removed, RAM, and game performance are some major ones. But that doesn't explain all that force generated to do all this." The bored mechanic in a yellow hard hat and blue uniform replies: "I watched that speck create a great park before deleting nearly everything and placing down identical coasters that derail. There's 10 of them and I swear each had 40 car trains!" The Park Inspector adds: "Yep it was 40 car trains plus hundreds of entertainers. I didn't see them activate any cheats so that just makes it much more puzzling."

Kaito speaks up with a strong hunch: "They must have modified their copy of the game. In Duel Monsters, rules have been broken to make impossible miracles possible. Normally, you can't add cards to your deck during a duel but when I dueled Mizar on the moon, I unlocked another Galaxy Eyes. Yuma and Astral merged together several times in order to create miracles too." The depressed janitor complains: "I loved my job. I just wanted to do what I could do as a janitor but now, I can't." "It's going to be okay. The Park Inspector has seen many things and I've virtually influenced the path of this world. We will solve this problem." In silence, we walk together to see the scene of chaos beyond the entrance. The peeps and entertainers are standing up and are so terrifying looking. Then, the player manifested as a white speck attacks us with roller coasters. They build several fast coasters that fly right off the rails at the right spot to hit us: "Damn it! This isn't just some ordinary RCT3 Death Park maker. Shit! We're in trouble!" V summons Number 9: Dyson Sphere, Kaito summons Neo Galaxy Eyes Photon Dragon, I attack with Darkeye Slash, and Dominic uses the classic Miitopian scientist Black Hole attack. The coaster cars that are headed straight for us never stood a chance. A angry voice comes out of the white speck: "Fucking bullshit! Since when does Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 have artificial intelligence? What has my mod done to the game? I just wanted to cause chaos with longer roller coaster trains!"

"I'm a nice person but what the hell! You're such a fool! Your actions led to the flattening of the entire universe that you are playing in!" "Universe? That's absurd! This is only a game and you shouldn't even be able to talk to me like that! And you're not part of the game, I can tell! What have you done to my game?" "You think this is your game? You may own a copy of RCT3. I have 2 copies myself. However, that doesn't mean things are that simple! The peeps we enjoy messing with are real organisms with feelings! They can never die but they still suffer because of neglect by us players!" "I don't care what happens to those peeps! They're just abnormal and dumb creatures!" "I can hear that accent of yours and it implies something. Seriously, you're like a loud ass version of a racist southerner. You're probably someone who hates furries and queer people! If you don't value the lives of others, don't expect others to value your own life either! Not only is it the Golden Rule as they say but that's just asshole 101!" "Damn it! I'm going to find a way through my computer so I can kill you!" "Come at me bro and taste my controlled wrath. Comrades, you must start trying solutions to unflatten the whole universe. I don't think this world will be free of collisions for much longer. Let me handle this jerk." They nod just as the person playing as the white speck curses and seemingly smashes their whole computer in frustration. And that's when they get themselves transported to the RCT3 universe through unknown means.

Instantly, the guy pulls out a gun without comprehending where he is and starts trying to shoot me. I dodge every bullet he fires at me with ease: "You're going to have to do better than that to kill me. I've died a number of times and survived encounters with even bigger jerks. I'm not even using 1% of my physical power on you. Give it your best shot!" "I'm going to make you beg to be able to eat those words!" He runs out of bullets in seconds trying to get me with rapid fire so he moves on to trying to beat the crap out of me. I easily take and stop his punches: "Physically, you aren't much stronger than I am in my other body. Is this really all you have? You created a mod that somehow flattened this universe with many 40 car trains and yet you hit like me in my other body when my arms feel weird after not drawing for a while! I don't even need my sword or fists to stop you." My opponent looks around middle aged, is wearing patriotic American bullcrap, and has quite the muscles: "I'll show you who's weak!" He attempts to choke me but fails while I pull out an inflatable green guitar. I start hitting him with it: "It's time to rock with an air guitar!" "Oww oww! How does this hurt so much? What did you do to this thing? I want to slaughter you in cold blood!" "I did nothing to this thing. You're just so physically incompetent in comparison to me. Say all you want about killing me but it'll take a battle to the death for you to have any chance of beating me. Otherwise, I will just kick your ass with a cheap inflatable. That sure will hurt your disappointingly but unsurprisingly fragile ego and self confidence."

*whack* *whack* *punch* *punch* *kick* *kick* I send him flying with a well timed positioned attack with the inflatable guitar: "You are losing to an inflatable guitar. How does that make you feel? Do tell, it's interesting and entertaining to watch cocky overconfident toxic men like you get your asses whooped in a way like this." After a few more inflatable hits, the dude starts failing even harder. It's getting embarrassing to watch. He nearly breaks his hand punching my armor. In fact, I just start standing around doing nothing knowing that even when I don't fight back, he'll end up defeating himself anyway: "Just give up. It's becoming so boring to see you do virtually no damage against me. I could probably defeat you with a fuzz ball if I used it right." "Never! I will not quit!" After that, I get so bored I almost fall asleep when my opponent collapses from pain and exhaustion: "Wow, that was very anticlimactic. *sends him back to his world* His humiliation and loss is enough of a punishment, I'll let him enjoy his sad, complicit, and foolish life where he doesn't truly care about the lives of many others until his narrow view of that world comes crumbling down with his privilege." I whistle to myself or rather fail at it, I forgot that I can't whistle to save my life. Then I watch as Dominic and the others try inflating a peep: "Guys. Are you sure inflating the peep, making them big and round is a good idea?" Dominic replies: "We tried my Quantum Leap bands, Kaito's cards, V's technological skills, and Doc Brown's flux capacitor already. Not a single one did anything. Per my suggestion, we're doing really dumb things. Did you defeat that player?"

"Fair enough and yes. It was way too easy. I hurt him with an inflatable guitar for crying out loud! Anyway, how are we not moving away from the planet right now when it's literally the shape the illogically strange community of Flat Earthers think my Earth is? The gravity if it even exists still would be uneven and unable to keep hold on the whole planet." "I have no idea. It's probably just convenient for the plot. Just thinking of that makes me want to take a nap." "You're most likely right at this point. I better come with my own ridiculous solution to this problem now." I ponder over it for a while and come up with a strange plan. Of course, the inflation of the peep fails and I hear and see a crazy deflation process that sends the peep flying while cheering. With these redundant apocalypses going on, I might as well think of the most batshit nonsensical crap I can think of to deal with this. That's when I start screaming at the top of my lungs pure cringe like Barbie Girl by Aqua, Pest Control by Radioactive Chicken Heads, and the infamous All The Single Furries. Here are some things I screamed compounded from different points in the time I spent doing it: "If you liked it, then you should have put a leash on it! I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie world. There's a nasty problem at the pizza parlor down the street. Eaten! My one desire! Skinny was born in a bathtub. But then the women's council came in. But she was my lobster! Awoo awoo bark bark! OwO what's this?!"

When I'm done, my throat hurts and I pale at the realization: "That did absolutely nothing!" The Park Inspector startles in confusion: "What goes on in your head?" "A lot of stuff. Some of that stuff is definitely not family or even society friendly. Let's just say that. I'm disappointed that that did nothing for our cause. Damn it. Well, I'm going to get a drink of water before I get back to trying my own possible solutions. Anything is possible at this point. It's too bad everyone else is too busy to help us. Some friends are trying to de-escalate a conflict in Miitopia for example." "Well, I'll leave it to you then. Also, don't go to Toilets 1." "Why?" "It's the only toilet around and of course is now flat." "I would follow your words but I'm morbidly curious now. Sorry but I'm going to try solutions with it's stuff. I'll stay clean, I promise." After that, I pulled out a water bottle I had filled earlier just in case and drink a good chunk of the water inside. My throat feels a lot better now. Thank goodness. With that done, I get a really weird idea again. I find Toilets 1 as flat as a pancake and try to get it to not be flat by kicking it in the space between the ceiling and floor of one of the entrances. That does nothing: "Damn it! How can I use the flushing of all the toilets in there to do something now? If I could and it worked, we could build many giant toilets to reverse the flattened state of the universe! It'd be greater than Twisted Land's Toilet Spiral Coaster!" I give up on my dream of using toilets to help solve the crisis for now. With that objective abandoned, I come up with another solution. The most RCT3 of solutions might I add?!

It's simple. Build a coaster so tall, long, fast, and intense it should be impossible to survive riding it for even just a single second and then have it crash! It seems that the white speck representing that asshole I easily beat is still around so I go to it. My gut tells me to touch it so I do: "I touched the speck. This sandbox park is under my management now. Good! I can start the coaster immediately! Let's see. There are a lot of options around but I know exactly what I'm doing." With that taken care of, I spent a few minutes building one of my trademark cursed tall and fast RCT3 LIM launched roller coasters. I paint it yellow and black and name it Banana Power 3. I waste no time in putting it to test mode. The track doesn't make it back to that station unlike with my other cursed extreme coasters. After a lot of loops, it goes up 300 feet and derails from there. Don't try this on Earth or really anywhere else except like RCT3 and Planet Coaster, readers. Then I disconnect from the speck and watch with my own eyes as the insanity begins. My creation goes up 3000 feet at a speed of 2236 MPH before coming down that same distance, running through 20 loops in an instant and climbing 300 feet to be sent flying at insane speed. The coaster train hits the invisible barrier at the edge with all that speed before being knocked around due to the barrier and eventually crashing onto the ground. The explosions and energy released was massive but it didn't do anything either even to the flattened peeps who were caught in the explosions and sent flying.

Dominic meanwhile is stuffing himself with a lot of food stored in a pocket dimension he created in an attempt to become so gassy that something will end up being not flattened after he lets it rip. I watch in fascination as this is something he never does, he must be running out of ridiculous solutions. Due to my sense of humor, I stand still to hear him finally let it rip. The fart is loud and very smelly but it doesn't work either. My reaction is priceless as I come closer to him after the fart: "Dominic, that was the most awesome and yet disappointing fart I've heard in my entire life! Awesome because of the stink and volume, disappointing because it didn't solve the problem. Btw, could we get a bunch of toilets from other worlds here?" "Thank you! I really haven't farted much in weeks. I can't think of a single toilet we could take without any disruptions so no. But I can easily build a few, I have more than enough scrap parts for doing so. I'm going to take a nap after we're done here." "Okay how fast could you get a couple hundred toilets built?" Dominic looks like he's on the verge of going insane before laughing maniacally over losing his mind but then he laughs mischievously: "Honestly, I already built a couple hundred toilets. We have no idea how long we're all going to live, I'm working on extending my life using robotics, Fluffy is infamous for bathroom trips from hell. One day, I got bored and built them all." He proceeds to get all of them out of his pocket dimension. I'm pleased at the sight: "It's beautiful, this whole scene is glorious. We should start flushing all of them right away." There's toilets of all designs: furry, mega gay, brony, sci fi, pirate, prehistoric, and so on.

We spend 10 minutes just going to and flushing all of them. Somehow, they are enough to return Toilets 1 to normal. And we watch as the peeps all crowd it and struggle very hard to get in due to their stretched forms: "I wish we could help them out better but these toilets weren't enough to save this universe." "I do too, Adam. But I have one last plan. It'll be the most time and effort consuming of them all. Let's get the others. We'll try pulling on the universe with machines and anyone who is available to help." "Why didn't you try it in the first place?" "I'm tired. I want to nap. It'll be a big undertaking." "In that case, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, I'm going to contact BRAINS headquarters. The ones there right now will post the message I send to everyone else right away I'm sure. Hopefully some of them aren't busy anymore!" "Exactly! I'll start preparations with help with who we have around already. Please stay right where you are so I can get you without having to teleport just to do so. We're going to need a shit ton of energy." "I figured as much." An hour later, about 50 others joined us including Bray, Pirate Blaster, and Dr. Bonesbane. They all helped us build Dominic's devices for pulling on the whole universe. Now I'm sitting in one of them with my hands at the controls. I can't believe I'm sitting in a thing that looks like a banana. What has my life come to? He literally explained that the shape was the best he could do between it and a glob of junk in appearance. So it's what I'm stuck with.

Dominic's voice comes over the communicators inside of all 59 of these things. Bray's enlargement spell saved us a lot of trouble when building them. I'm inside something that is far bigger than a solar system. It's pretty lonely but oh well. It's the price we gotta pay in order for this plan to even remotely work. Hard to believe we got all this shit done in an hour! "Thank you so much everyone for helping out. All I want you to do now is use these hunks of metal and electronics to pull at whatever you can grab with the ends of them. Several black holes are going to lose a lot of mass and energy after we're done but it will be worth it. And thank you to Bray for finding out that the guardian of this universe is preventing collisions between all objects right now with their power just a moment ago! Let's begin when everyone is ready! Just press the orange button that is lit up to indicate you're ready to do this." I immediately press my orange button and I'm joined by everyone else in not even a minute: "Awesome! Now enough chit chat! Our individual strengths like muscle power and magical prowess for instance will be handy to make this more effective. I can't wait to take a nap once we're all done." The real struggle begins. I put my back into pulling the lever and pushing buttons to tug on who knows what in an attempt to reverse the flatness of everything: "Aaagh! It feels like this isn't working at all!" Similar frustrations come from the others through the communications. Here's a huge chunk of them: "Arrr! Yer machine ain't working! Thrashbeak! Stop freaking out! Come on yer damn universe! Me swear vengeance on these circumstances!"

"Aaaaa my hair isn't on fire but my hands sure feel like they are! Why can't I just make some nice lunch or laugh with the Wacky Clowns?!" "We're all going to die!" "Even if I used Galaxy Eyes, nothing would move! This was a foolish idea! If we were dealing with a number, I would have successfully hunted it by now." "Come on, Neos! Help me out pal! You too, Winged Kuriboh and Flame Wingman! It just won't budge!" "Great Scott! Marty! Oh wait, he's not here!" "This is so not awesome. I'm awesome but this machine doesn't think I'm awesome! I wish my best friends could help us today. This is no fun!" "As a mechanic, I am beyond impressed with this machine but at the same time, it's not working! At least I'm not bored anymore!" "I was born for the stage and was looking forward to visiting another park today. It's too bad this plan isn't working." "We have to rev things up even more! Come on Crow, Jack, Lua, Ruka, and Aki! We must unite our hearts as one! We can't let this fail unless we give it our all!" "Not even my full power is working. I shall go past my limits then!" Yeah, it's not looking good. I can grab stuff all right and tug but it's like dealing with a stubborn rubber band with a lot of resistance, tension, and pressure at the same time: "Why do I get the feeling none of us are going to succeed and we're about to have a major accident occur?"

But I keep trying with all my might and even figure out a way to use my sword to add more power into my efforts. The lactic acid really starts to build up in my arm muscles and my shoulders and back begin to hurt. I'm reaching my limit before I have to rest. Even still, I hold on as hard as I can for as long as possible. Then, the exhaustion gets to me and I lose virtually all the strength in my arms. That means I lose my grip on the lever. And the machine starts being shot off into the void with me still in it: "Mayday! I'm out of strength and the device I'm in is accelerating in contrast to what was supposed to happen! It's like when you let go of a rubber band with lots of tension in it! I'm evacuating immediately to where this situation began!" Once I teleport to Sandbox, I get to see more of the devices practically coming right at each other even from this far away. In the end, all of us end up in the park in the same area with varying expressions. Dominic is bewildered: "No! My devices didn't work! They were our best chance at fixing this ourselves! And now they're about to crash into each other! There goes my need for a nap!" Fluffy Afro screams as his hands catch on fire: "My hands! My hands! They burn! They burn! Put em out! Put em out!" Bray intervenes: "I used most of my magical reserves before I failed just now but I shall save you! Ancient Miitopian Forbidden Spell: Great Micro Healing Maelstrom!" Fluffy's problem is quickly taken care of before Bray shouts: "I won't let anymore destruction befall this universe! Ancient Miitopian Forbidden Spell: Great Universal Barriers! And now I'm out of magic! I shall rest after this."

Dominic reacts: "I was about to ask if you could fix it all with your magic! Dang it! Adam, are you certain sending that jerk back to where he came from was all he deserved after being humiliated?" "Yes, I'm certain. When a stereotypical American man like him gets totally pulverized like that, they get defensive and in this case, very embarrassed." A familiar voice but older and more robotic cuts into our conversation: "Stereotypical American man huh? Am I stereotypical to you now?" We turn around and see the guy I beat earlier but with some robotic parts and wrinkles, this leads several of us to proclaim at the same time: "OH SHIT!" "Oh shit is right! I know who you are now because I had 20 years before coming back here, Adam! I'm going to enjoy enacting my revenge on you! Never again will I be defeated by an inflatable guitar and tossed aside like a total loser! Your doom is coming now!" I don't even get to respond as he starts firing missiles and eye lasers at me but I do take off running as it's my only option right now. The others are too drained to help me and he isn't interested in them so they nervously watch and rest for now. The only place I can hide well is Toilets 1. I hope it's good enough for hiding! My running speed is something that asshole can't keep up with but I reach the bathroom knowing that he isn't too far behind me. And my stomach starts to hurt in the crappy kind of way: "Fuck I need to take a shit?! Why now of all times?! Holy shit, this is such a shitty situation that is full of shit! Crap!" I rush into an empty bathroom stall and try my best to get crap out of my body.

As it all starts to come out and fall into the toilet bowl I'm now sitting above, I hear screams from the peeps, explosions, and crashing: "Oh Adam! I'm going to find you and when I do, you're dead! I will savor my victory no matter where you've gotten yourself! Wait, you must be in Toilets 1. I forgot I placed it down and didn't get rid of it! Curse the old pathetic and scrawny me!" I yell in reply: "Come right for me if you want but you better wait till I'm done pooping! We all need to poop sometimes because if we don't, we will die a miserable and uncomfortable death after long enough!" "I don't care! I'm going to kill you no matter what! Just like I said!" It's hard to concentrate enough to push more mass out of my body but I am able to gradually after an initial crap ton was released at once. Meanwhile, that dude is destroying everything. The stall next to me just got blown up. Damn it! Why can't I just poop in peace? The other stall next to me gets destroyed and then the roof of the place gets lasered off with them eye lasers. My enemy peers down at me with a sinister grin: "Found you! Hide and seek is over! Now it's die and scream! You can't stop me!" I gag at the thought of my new plan but also smirk: "You'd be right. After all, my arms are pretty sore and need quite a lot of rest. *releases more stuff into the toilet* I've never had to fight while sitting on a toilet before but here we are. My sword can't help me right now. But there is something I can still use as a weapon and it isn't my long wavy/curly hair. Nor is it my own armor, shirt, or shoes. Actually, it's 2 things!"

"What's that supposed to mean? You are nothing to me and you have nothing you can use to defend yourself! Game over!" I take off my shoes while still pooping(this is a very gross situation I know) and then take my socks off too. I throw my dirty sweat covered and stinky socks right at him. He foolishly didn't get his nose partially mechanized in his future era. The expression on his face is something I will never forget. It scrunches up in disgust as his eyes widen in horror: "Oh so you finally figured it out. *I put gloves that were in my backpack on my hands* I'm about to do something really dumb and gross. Those socks were just the appetizer of disgust. I can't believe this is really the only option I have left because I continue to poop as we battle. Eat my shit, asshole!" I proceed to start throwing my own feces from the toilet at him. We're so close to each other not even his weapons or his muscles can stop it: "You disgusting freak! What the hell is wrong with you? This is nauseating! Eww! Eww! Retreat! I must retreat! I can't kill you while being covered in your poop! Gah! Curse you! Curse you!" I continue to throw poop at him and yell: "This is some Muddy Heights game level nonsense right here! Ugh! It stinks! Don't you want to kill me?! I thought you'd stop acting like a coward by now but in reality, you still are kind of one!" "How dare you! I'm going to kill you right here right now for saying that!" He stops retreating and comes right for me again. But then I throw the most critical chunk of shit I will probably throw in my entire life at him.

It's pretty big. It hits a bullseye aka his face: "Aaaaaa! It's on my face! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! The smell is horrid!" "Enjoy your confidence being flushed in the toilet called life." "I can't believe you still have more! Now I must retreat for sure! I hate you! I hate you so much! You nasty poop thrower! Next time we meet, things will be different and I will get my revenge!" "Well then, goodbye and please also enjoy having to wash yourself and risk your mechanical parts short circuit! Bye bye!" He retreats at a faster rate and I somehow finish pooping properly at long last. I flush the toilet and do my best to not touch anything with my poopy glove covered hands. In the distance, I can see him still retreating and I get a funny idea that will be like a triple whammy. I catch up to him, take off one of my gloves and use the poop on it to stick it to him. I keep the other glove on and voice activate my duel disk: "Duel disk, activate! Now then, activate virtual card mode! This way, I can duel without even touching my disk or my cards! Now let's cut to the chase! I set the Pendulum scale with the 2 perfect monsters in my virtual hand. Next I summon the other monsters there and use Digital Artist Sandra's effect. Now all 3 on my field are level 12! I overlay them and Xyz summon Number 916! Regnes! Next I attack this jerk with Regnes!" You know who didn't see any of this coming so he ends up screaming as Regnes attacks him directly, avoiding any spots covered in poop for obvious reasons. With that done, I thank Regnes and voice deactivate my duel disk as the attack makes its impact: "No! I've been defeated by a children's card game and poop! This isn't fair!"

I scare him by appearing in front of him as he falls to his knees: "Neither is jeopardizing a whole universe because you wanted to mess with a modded copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 which in reality is connected to the actual universe and world of RCT3. I'm so glad I don't have to throw anymore poop at you or anyone else today. I was desperate to fight with all that I still could. I had to!" "No! Don't you say that! You did that to make me upset!" "That is part of the truth too but that was because I wanted to mess with you a little. But since you wanted to kill me, I figured that I might as well chase after you to ensure you were defeated for good as well. Now that that's over with, my friends and I are going to take care of you." "What do you mean by friends?" "Look all around you. Hey everyone! I'm done hiding in and using the toilet! As you can see, I had to resort to extremely gross measures to help bring this guy down again for a 2nd time. Before anyone asks, I'd rather not do that again if I can avoid it." But then, the universe is suddenly no longer flat.

The Park Inspector was stunned at the scene of me with a defeated poop covered jerk but now his shock and confusion is interrupted by happiness: "Yes! Somehow, the universe is back to normal! Thank you for coming, everyone! What do you intend to do with this player?" I reply: "Dominic, do the honors." The scientist nods and sends the guy to a paradise quality uninhabited island on some planet somewhere with plenty of food to eat and no one to talk to. With that done, all of us go home after saying goodbye and cleaning up after ourselves. That was one weird day. After Dominic, Bray, Fluffy, Blaster, and I returned to Miitopia, I shake my other glove off into the quantum washing machine in a room near where we departed and arrived from. Following that, we all have a good laugh with the others over lunch and dinner about the whole ordeal.

Outro: That wasn't how I really planned out things to go but I think it's great! The poop stuff was inspired by the fact I had to take 3 trips to the toilet within the span of an hour the day I published this. If you were grossed out, I'm sorry for grossing you out but I thought it was funny to write and believe it was the perfect ultimate downfall for a villain in this story. Anyway, this was pretty hard to write at times but I made it through! Thank you for reading! See you next chapter in this and other stories!