Since y'all liked them so much and these are relatively easy to come up with, here's another chapter filled with incorrect Ranger's Apprentice quotes. Enjoy!

(For some reason these incorrect quotes are almost always with Halt and it's hilarious)

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Will: "Can I have some coffee?"

Halt: "I don't know, can you?"

Will: "Yes. I might add that colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language. Since you and the rest of our present company understood perfectly my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between 'can' and 'may' is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious."

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Will, age 15: "Do I look like a killer to you?"

Halt: "Yeah, you kill my patience."

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Halt: "I am calm. I'm nothing but calm all the time."

Will: "No you're not. Your fifteen seconds from starting a fight at all times."

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Halt: "I need your help in... expressing... my feelings."

Crowley: "... of course."

Halt: ...

Crowley: ...

Halt: "Well? How do I express my feelings?"

Crowley: "Oh! Oh I see, right. Um. Feelings."

Halt: "Feelings."

Crowley: "Pauline."

Halt: "Pauline."

Crowley: "Flowers?"

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Crowley: "I made this friendship bracelet for you."

Halt: "You know, I'm not really a jewelry person."

Crowley: "You don't have to wear it."

Halt: "No. I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off."

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Crowley: *annoyed because Gilan keeps bothering him and he's busy* "Why don't you ask Halt to help you out?"

Gilan: *throwing his hands in the air* "Because he couldn't care less!"

Halt: *looking up from his mug of coffee* "I'd like to confirm that I absolutely do not care."

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Halt: "The glass is half empty."

Crowley: "I think the glass is half full."

Halt: "I think you're full of shit."

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Halt: "Will, you always need to be kind to people."

Gilan: "Hey-"

Halt: "Fuck off."

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Will: "We're doing the double knife defense again right?"

Gilan: *Yawns*

Gilan: Yeah today we're gonna learn *yawns*

Gilan:

Gilan: "You know what? Screw it. Go play with your bow, finger paint, I don't care. I'm going to bed." 

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Arald: "What you're doing is illegal."

Halt: "I'm not taking advise from you! You pronounce the 'g' in 'lasagna'."

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Gilan: "It's really muggy today."

Halt: "If I go outside and all our mugs are on the veranda, I'm going to kill you."

Gilan: *sips coffee from a bowl*

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"I came here to drink coffee and kick ass. And I've just finished my coffee."

- Will Treaty

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"Just do me a favor and of listening to me for a minute, so I can say 'I told you so' later."

- Every single RA character, really

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Nils: "Skirl, there's a ship approaching."

Gundar: "Scan it."

Nils: "We're detecting unusually high levels of sass, skirl."

Gundar: *slams fist at table* "SVENGAL"

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Halt: "Did you acquire the map?"

Crowley: "The map. The map to Morgarath. The map that will lead us directly to Morgarath. Morgarath's map." 

Crowley:

Crowley: "That map?"

Halt: "YES, THAT MAP!"

Crowley: "Funny story."

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