My cheeks were bright red by the time I made it into my apartment. The weather had turned freezing, and I wouldn't be surprised if snow made an appearance tonight.

  I pressed my back against the door once closed and looked at the lily in my hands. It wasn't fully bloomed yet but it would be soon. My lips turned up into a smile and my whole body felt calm yet crazed. A strange combination.

  It was a contrast I wasn't sure made any sense, but it was the only when I could describe it.

   "You look cheerful." Ezekiel spotted me in the hall.

   "Do I?" I attempted at playing dumb and took off my coat, hanging it on the rack.

  He raised an eyebrow as I strolled into the kitchen, "You saw Christopher, didn't you?"

   "No."

   "You're an awful liar. I really don't know why you try." He laughed at me which caused the already redness on my cheeks to deepen. Oh my God, I was blushing.

   "Leave me alone." I snapped and went to the cupboard and grabbed a slim vase.

  Ezekiel didn't give up. "Ooo, pretty flower. Was that from him?"

  I rolled my eyes, filling up the vase with water, "No, it was a gift from Satan because I took his demon as my pet."

   "You're kidding right?"

   "Yes!" I exclaimed. "Piggy is actually an angel." She was my guardian angel and I failed to see it no other way.

  Ezekiel sighed, "The demon thing was more believable."

  I decided not to fight back because there was no changing his mind by now. So, I placed my lily in the vase and stared at it, accomplished. I couldn't wait till it bloomed.

   "Oooo, you're developing a real crush on this guy, aren't you?"

   "What?!" I snapped my head to glare at him. "I am not. It's just a pretty flower."

  He chuckled, "Yeah sure. A pretty flower from a pretty boy who probably gave you a pretty good time wherever you were." In a library, but no one needed to know that.

   "Shut up! You even have his scarf!" Ezekiel reached from the material around my neck I had completely forgotten was there.

  I swatted his hand away as he tried to pull it.

   "Oooo, someone's got hickies! Guess he really did give you a pretty good time –"

   "Would you stop 'ooo'ing?" I pointed a finger in his direction. "And it's none of your business."

  He laughed and sat down at the breakfast bar. "Look at you getting all defensive about your man."

   "He isn't my man."

   "Aww you're still in the denial stage. I love this! Have you ever had a crush? Celebrities not counted." he rested his chin on his hands. Dammit, I had a fat crush on Draco Malfoy when I was ten and then on Nate Archibald from Gossip Girl when I was sixteen.

  Yet my pulse was pounding, and I narrowed my eyes in complete spite. "No and it's not a crush."

  He grinned from ear to ear. "I wonder what Rya McCoy's like when she has a crush. D'you make up false scenarios at night? Stalk on social media? OMG, I bet you get all soft and giggly around him!"

   "No, no and definitely not!" I argued. "And I do not have a crush. It's a very... transactional thing." My mood seemed to shift at the word 'transactional' because that seemed too dull and bleak.

  Ezekiel gestured to the flower, "Does he know that?"

   "Of course he does." I replied without thinking. "And it's just a flower."

  He raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? So what would happen if I took your flower?" he reached out to grab the vase but I snatched it off the counter.

   "Leave my flower alone."

  He huffed with a small chuckle, "Whatever."

  Straightening my shoulders, I took my vase and made my way to my room. "But I want to be the first to know if there's any developments!" He called after me.

  I opened my door, smiling in his direction, "That's unlikely." And slammed it shut behind me.

  Piggy was playing with one of her mouse toys at the end of my bed when I walked in. She immediately let it go and followed me to my windowsill where I placed the lily and stared at it.

  She purred at my leg, and I picked her up, cradling her in my arms. "Did you miss me?" I stroked the top of her head. She meowed. "Aw, well I missed you." Her paws clung onto the scarf I'd forgotten was around my neck.

  Shit, I really should have given that back to Knowles. I made a mental note to return it the next time I saw him. We needed to schedule when that was.

  Piggy kept pulling at the material. I sighed and took it off my neck, letting her have at it. She wouldn't destroy it; she seemed to have some sort of favouritism for Christopher.

  Before I made my way back into the kitchen I changed my top into a turtleneck, catching a glimpse of the now fully formed hickies heavily around my neck.

  Jesus, they were going to take ages to fade. The last time I had a hickey was probably Freshman Year of college and I thanked the Lord it was winter because I couldn't remember what concealer I used to cover them.

I needed to search back through my mind to remember because every girl needed that information.

  The only thing I'd eaten all day was what Ezekiel made from breakfast. I checked the fridge, hoping for some leftovers he'd stored to snack on yet was met with a resounding view of nothing. Great. Takeout for me.

  Just as I turned around, however, Leah's bedroom door opened, and she popped out wearing baby-blue pyjamas.

  Our eyes met briefly and she sent a small smile. It was Leah though, she always smiled. And the smallness of it made me begin to think she was still upset. What was I going to say? I'm sorry I threw my drink in Christopher's face? I'm sorry I made you upset by breaking my promise? I'm sorry I'm fucking your cousin?

  That last one was a bad way to reveal the whole ordeal.

  Anxiously, I poured myself a glass of water as Leah went to the front door. I scrolled on my phone, scouring takeout food but not knowing what I was in the mood for. Urgh, I needed to learn how to cook.

  One time Ezekiel tried to teach me how to make pancakes and I accidentally set his sleeve on fire. Don't ask how because I didn't know the answer. Therefore, I was against the idea of cooking lessons. Setting the chef on fire was a not a good look. Not a good look meaning I'd go to prison.

  Leah returned with a bag of takeout and placed it on the kitchen counter.

   "Looks like we think alike." I decided to say, hoping to ease out some friendly humour.

   "Yeah." Leah briefly smiled again, opening up the bag and taking out some boxes of food.

   "What d'you get?"

   "Mexican food." She replied. A bit blunt. Maybe I was overthinking it? Apparently, I did that a lot.

  After a minute or so of silence, I gave in with a sigh. "I'm really sorry about last night."

  Leah, in the middle of dishing up her fajitas and rice, paused. "About what?" she acted clueless. I could tell she was trying at act cool about it, but Leah was sensitive, even Knowles said that.

   "I promised you Christopher and I would tolerate each other... and instead we had a huge argument, and I threw a drink in his face. I broke my promise to you, Leah and I'm really sorry." I swallowed my pride. She met my eyes and smiled softly.

   "Thank you." Her stature relaxed. "Your apology means a lot."

  That was good. There were times my stubbornness really got in the way, but my friends always meant more than my pride.

   "So, are we good?" I asked, hopeful.

  Leah nodded, smiling a bit more. "Of course, we are. If it helps, I'm madder at Chris than I am at you."

   "Really?" I couldn't hide my surprise.

  She chuckled, "Oh yeah. I asked him not to antagonize you and he obviously went ahead and did it anyways."

  That was true and it looked worse for Knowles because he was Leah's family. I still felt a little guilty, however.

   "I wasn't exactly the nicest either."

   "But he knows what winds you up." Leah told me, opening the cutlery drawer. "I thought he'd be a bit more mature since high school. Obviously I was wrong." She frowned then shook her head and replaced it with her natural smile.

   "Have you spoken to him yet?" I couldn't help but ask.

  She nodded, "He sent me a message around 7AM this morning. Why he was awake at that time, I have zero clue." She chuckled. "I got back so late last night. I've only been up for a couple hours." She admitted sheepishly.

  I laughed, putting down my phone. "How was last night?" I hoped it was good. Leah deserved a good birthday.

  She sat down on the stool opposite me and beamed. "Really good! My friends loved the night life although it was freezing. I think we went to two bars and then ended up at The Incubus. Don't worry, though. There were zero shots for me."

   "Good." I laughed at the thought of the unbelievably drunk Leah. "I'm surprised they even let you back in."

   "Oh my God, don't remind me!" she groaned. "I noticed a couple bartenders give me weird looks."

   "They probably got stuck cleaning up your vomit."

   "Gross." She cringed; guilt ridden on her face. "How are you feeling this morning? – well, evening now." She gestured to the darkness outside.

   "A little rough this morning." That wasn't a lie. "But much better now." Now I've had sex. I wanted to tell Leah. I wanted to so bad, and this was the perfect time. The only thing that was holding me back was Knowles.

  He didn't want Leah to know just yet and considering they were family, it meant more. I had to respect that, even though it was killing me.

   "I'm glad." She ate a mouthful of food before her eyes went wide with remembrance. "Oh, Sienna called this morning."

   "Did she?"

   "Yeah, she said she tried to call you, but you didn't pick up." Oh shit, she did? I mean, I was a bit preoccupied. I was about to reply but Leah spoke before me. "She said her and Roman are here for a few more days and that we should all go out for dinner soon."

  I needed to call her back because I wanted to savour every moment she was here. "What like me, you, her and Roman?"

  Leah hummed, "And Taylor. She mentioned it being like a high school reunion. She even said Ezekiel and Cora could come. I asked Cora but she said she's got an important science exam coming up and she needs to study." That made sense. Ezekiel, however, was up for any dinner occasion.

  It would be nice to have a little reunion and see how things are going for everyone. Then a thought struck my mind. "What about Chris?"

   Leah paused and I already knew what she was thinking.

   "He can come, Leah. It's okay with me."

  She gave me a nervous look, "I really don't want any trouble or arguments. Sienna said the same. This dinner would be a nice occasion, especially to celebrate her and Roman's engagement, and we really don't want... you know."

  Knowles and I ruining it. I knew it. And I didn't blame either of them.

  I took a deep breath and put my big girl pants on. "What happened last night was immature on both of our parts. It was embarrassing but we're both adults now and we should be able to act like it."

   "I'm not trying to upset you, Rya." Leah rushed out the words.

  I gave a small look of sympathy, "You're not. Look, I'm more upset with myself that I acted that way." And I was. I needed to button up the last button on my big girl pants and get a grip.

  Taking a deep breath once more, I said "Chris was a part of our high school. He's your family, Leah and your one of my best friends. Plus, he's now apparently Roman's best friend and Roman is marrying my might-as-well-be sister. So, in a weird way, we're interlinked whether we like it or not."

  That was a weird way to put it, even as I skipped the whole 'we're also fucking' part.

  I lifted my head up high, "He's coming to this dinner, and we will be civil. I can promise you that."

   "That means a lot, Rya. Honest. And I do trust you but it's Chris that has more potential to act out in my eyes."

   "Then you can slap him if he does." I shrugged.

   "I don't like violence."

  I rolled my eyes, "Then Sienna can. She loves violence." I wasn't wrong. I would have offered myself but that defeated the whole 'tolerate' concept.

  Leah still looked a little hesitant and I sighed, "Look, I know last night wasn't a good look, but I promise you this dinner will be fine. In fact, it'll be more than fine – it'll be great!" and it gave Knowles and I a chance to redeem ourselves.

  Because I was right about what I said earlier: Knowles and I were interlinked. Leah was becoming one of my best friends and Sienna was like my sister. And Knowles was Leah's family and best friends to the man marrying Sienna. As long as I was friends with them – which was forever in my mind – Knowles would be in my life.

  It suddenly dawned on me that this secret sex thing was actually a lot more complicated than what I had ever anticipated.

  He'd said before, "we fuck it out, get everything out of our systems and then we can move on".

  Move on? That was the part I hadn't thought about yet. This was going to make it hard because we'd always be surrounded by each other.

   "Okay." Leah's voice cut me from my thoughts. "I'll call Chris and ask him. Thanks for the reassurance, Rya."

  I smiled at her, "It's okay, honey." My stomach rumbled at such an inconvenient time, reminding me I needed to get food.

  Leah must have noticed as she pushed her bag of takeout towards me. "I bought enchiladas for everyone to share. Want one?"

  My eyes lit up. It was official, Leah Kingston was the nicest girl on earth. It wouldn't surprise me if she confessed to being the smiley baby-sun on The Teletubbies. Slightly creepy thought but it made sense.

   "Oh my god, I love you."

  She laughed as I took up a seat next to her.

  Hours passed and midnight struck, and Sienna and I were in the middle of a deep conversation.

   "If we had kids, d'you think they'll get married?"

  I couldn't help but laugh.

   "Stop it! I'm serious here, Rya." She whined and I laughed some more.

   "Okay, okay! But I hate children so there's a likelihood I won't have any." I thought logically.

  She groaned, "No! You have to because I don't want my kid marrying a stranger. Think about how weird that'd be."

   "Roman was a stranger before you met him." I pointed out.

   "Yeah, but imagine, if our kids get married, we'd become family." That was actually a fun thought. Sienna and I would get to be crazy amazing mother-in-laws together.

   "Yeah, but babies are terrorising." I came back to reality.

   "You were once a baby, Rya."

   "Yes, and a terrorising one! Imagine me now but in baby form."

  She cringed on Facetime. "Okay, that's genuinely a weird thing to picture. But can we agree, if we hypothetically have children in whatever universe, we are playing matchmakers."

  I smiled, "Oh, for sure. My kid would be the best thing to grace the earth, just saying." He'd be smart and funny and confident. We'd probably have to work on the kind part but, hey, you couldn't have everything.

  And I said 'he' because I would be having a boy. Imagine me raising a girl? You probably could but she'd be like a mini-me. Although some people thought that to be cute, I found it terrifying. I must have been an insufferable child. Fantastic. But insufferable.

I wouldn't know the first thing to do with a girl. Dress her up cute, I could absolutely do that. But anyone could be a fashionista, not everyone could be a mother. And a girl mom was such a specific thing to get right, in my opinion.

  Maybe that was why I only spent summers with my mom.

  Jesus, that took a deep turn.

   "Babe, it's on!" I heard Roman shout through the phone.

  I gave a confused look, "What's on?"

  Sienna rolled her eyes, "I got Roman into Grey's Anatomy. Now it's all we're watching."

  I laughed, "Oh my God, I love that. How has he never seen it before?!"

  Sienna shook her head in bewilderment, "I have no clue! There's obviously a lot he didn't do before he met me."

   "Like have sex."

   "I was trying to be coy, Rya!"

   "Why?! You asked me to put together a sex box for him, remember!" the memories of high school came flooding through. Even though I wasn't a romantic, I had to admit, the early days of Sienna and Roman were so interesting.

  A fit of giggles left Sienna's lips. "I forgot you did that."

   "I put my heart and soul into it too." I exaggerated and she rolled her eyes. "Hey, if your school ever needs a sex-ed teacher, at least they know you're a good candidate."

   "Rya!" her eyes went wide. "That's extremely unprofessional not to mention gross."

  I cringed, "Ew, no! Not like that. I only meant that you'd be a lot more real and informative, especially to the young girls. I feel like most sex-ed teachers only focus abstinence or what's pleasurable for straight men. At least you could give some real guidance."

  She pondered for a minute, "Hmm, maybe. But most schools make you follow a curriculum. Maybe we could secretly start a website giving out that kind of advice."

   "Oooo like Gossip Girl but like Sex Girl."

  She cringed once more, "We'd need to work on the name." she was right about that. Sex Girl sounded like what an amateur porn website teenage boys would swear by.

  A thought suddenly came to my mind, and I decided to change subjects. "I just realised that Roman's going to be the McDreamy in whatever hospital he works at." I referenced Grey's Anatomy.

   "I know right! So won the jackpot there but it's unfortunate for his colleagues."

  I narrowed my eyes, "Why's that?"

  She grinned, "Because he'll have a hot-ass wife." She looked back as the intro to Grey's started, "I've got to go but I'll see you real soon." We briefly spoke about the dinner and Sienna said she was going to book it at some pizza place which worked well with me.

   "Okay, love you."

   "Love you too."

  I resumed my Law & Order and watched Piggy play with her little mouse toy in her bed. Knowles's scarf also joined her, and I knew I'd have trouble prying it from her paws.

  The good thing about Law & Order was that there were over 20 seasons, so by the time I finished the show, I'd forget some storylines, making them fun to rewatch all over again.

  As I became engrossed in one storyline I couldn't remember, my phone lit up beside me. Probably Sienna saying something she forgot over the phone or my mom finally arranging a time and place to meet her next week for lunch.

  I peered over and noticed the name.

KNOWLES: How's my flower doing?

  I stared at it for a long time, trying not to roll my eyes. I first typed out 'you mean your scam?' because that woman on the street was so using the sympathy card on him. My finger hovered over the send button, rolling the message around and around in my brain.

  I decided to delete it and snap a picture of the lily on my windowsill. Quickly pressing send before I had time to overthink it.

  No reply. Was he busy? He said he had an exam tomorrow. Wait if he had an exam tomorrow why was he awake at midnight?

ME: Why are you awake?

  Shit, was that double texting? It was too late to unsend now.

KNOWLES: Aww, you gave it a home.

KNOWLES: And I can't sleep.

ME: Why?

KNOWLES: Nothing major, only stress.

  I stared at my phone then reached over to pause Law & Order.

ME: About your exam?

  I watched those three dots for a long time, wondering what he was going to say.

KNOWLES: Yeah.

  That was short for such a long reply time. What was on his mind? I glared at my phone as if I were glaring at him. It was strange to think we'd been with each other earlier on today and that he slept round last night.

  I didn't like the one-word answer but what was I supposed to do? Call him? I mean, I could...

  No, that was weird. What would I even say? There was a good chance he'd be just as short with me over the phone as he was by text. And he needed to sleep.

  But he just said he couldn't sleep.

  Urgh, being in my mind was tiring sometimes.

KNOWLES: Can you not sleep either?

  I stared at the message. I had a class tomorrow but not still 2PM and I usually went to bed around midnight. However, since I woke up so late today, I wasn't feeling an ounce of tired.

  Lying back on my bed, I stared at his contact. Fuck it. I clicked it and pressed the phone to my ear, waiting for the line to click.

  It finally did. "Hey." His voice rang through.

  I released a deep inhale. "Hey."

   "Everything alright?"

   "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

  He chuckled, "Because you just called me. I'd only expect that in a 'murder broke into your house' kind of situation."

  I laughed, "Why d'you think I'd call you if a murder broke into my house?"

   "Because you want my voice to be the last thing you hear." He teased.

  I rolled my eyes, "You'd probably be the murder breaking into my house."

  He huffed but it was playful, "You break my heart, McCoy."

  I sighed, "And you broke my sleeping pattern. I woke up so late today I can't even sleep."

  It was almost 1AM now. I was going to hate myself for this in the morning.

   "How is that my fault? It's your REM cycle. Not mine."

  I sat up and scoffed, "Um you woke up at 7, you could have woken me!"

   "Aww, did you want a morning cuddle?"

  Oh my God! I completely forgot we cuddled last night. I mean, cuddled. I never thought I was a cuddler nor did I want to be one.

   "Shut up. You will never mention cuddling again." I demanded.

  He laughed, "Or what? You know I had to pry you off of me this morning."

  I gasped, "You're lying." If he wasn't, that was so embarrassing. I couldn't imagine myself clinging onto him in my sleep, it was so unlike myself.

   "And you're a massive, cuddling softie." He taunted.

  I groaned, "Will you shut it? I am not so stop trying to get under my skin."

  He laughed, "You're too easy to windup." He then admitted and I remembered what Leah said.

I wasn't easy to windup.... Okay, I was. But he knew how to do it so well it aggravated me more. "Speaking of winding me up."

   "Oh yeah?"

  I rolled my eyes, "Has Leah told you about this dinner we're apparently having?"

  He was silent on the phone for a second before asking "Like a me and you dinner?"

   "Ew. No. Like a mini high school reunion dinner – plus Ezekiel."

  He coughed and replied, "Erm, no. She hasn't. When's it for?"

  I climbed off my bed, wanting a drink. "I don't know yet. I had to convince her to let you come."

   "Really?" he sounded surprise.

   "Mm hmm." I opened my bedroom door. The hall was dark, so I assumed both Leah and Ezekiel were asleep and kept my voice low. "She was worried about me and you interacting again. Considering it didn't go so well last night."

   "I think it went great last night."

   "Publicly interacting, Christopher." I sighed. I bet he was grinning.

  I made my way into the kitchen and switched on a lamp. "I promised her we'd both be civil, and she seemed more worried about you than me. So, to put it lightly which I never do, behave."

  Knowles sighed, "She doesn't have anything to worry about. I'd had a bit to drink and there were things on my mind. Obviously, I wasn't going to have the best attitude."

   "What things?" I picked up.

   "Just things." He was vague. I didn't like that. "So, tell Leah I'll be alright."

  I opened a cupboard and grabbed a glass. "You can tell her. She doesn't know we're in contact, remember."

   "I think we're in a bit more than 'contact'." I sensed the humour in his tone.

   "Shut it. Just... I still feel bad about last night and I want to prove that we can be around each other – in pubic – and be civil." I opened to fridge to get some juice.

   "I'll talk to Leah." He assured me. "When she tells me about the dinner, I'll make sure she has nothing to worry about."

   "Promise me that."

   "Why are you so stressed about this?"

   "I'm not stressed, just promise me. I value my friends a lot, I never want to let them down."

   "Okay, I promise." He quickly replied. "She's my family, Rya. I'd never want to let her down either."

   "Good." I took a long sip of juice and let out a breath. "You can hang up if I'm keeping you awake."

   "Never said you were. Besides, I can't sleep as it is." I heard the sound of covers rustling, so I assumed he sat up.

I remembered his bed being right by the window, and I imagined him staring out of it into the city lights.

  I leaned against the counter, holding my glass of juice. "What time's your exam tomorrow?"

   "9 and then I have a trial shift at one of the lunch clubs you sent me."

   "Really?" I smiled. "You actually took one of my recommendations?"

   "Hey, I want to get tipped by the rich and you're the rich so..."

  I laughed, "D'you think you're going to get it?" I asked. I didn't know how job interviews worked especially for hospitality.

   "I had an interview right before I left for home. They said they liked me and wanted to see how I fit in so I'm hoping after tomorrow I'll have it."

  Concern bit at me. Two jobs were a lot. I had none and my time was almost full to the brim of college work, so I had no idea how he managed one, let alone now two. "Aren't you worried about college though? My workload's huge so I can imagine yours is on the same level."

   "I'm worried about bills more." He admitted. "And I'm sure if I make a schedule, I'll fit everything in. Trust me, I'm not choosing to have a second job."

   "I know, I know." I rushed out the words, taking another sip of juice. Guilt bit at me because here I was not worrying a bit about bills and expenses. I mean, my parents paid my rent, and I was wearing a designer pyjama set, talking to a guy who has to work two jobs to afford rent and bills and all other necessities.

   "What are you planning on doing after college?" I couldn't help but ask.

  He sighed, "I don't know... I think I might move back home."

  What? "What?" I accidentally said aloud.

   "I've loved studying here and it's always been a dream of mine to live here done I was like sixteen. However, it's been a lot of work and living at home is less expensive. Plus, I want to be around my family."

   "Is that why you keep going home? Because you miss them."

   "Kind of, yeah." He confessed, letting out a long breath. "And I'm not sure where I'm heading career-wise." I suddenly realised this was the most honest he'd ever gotten with me.

  I sat up on the counter and asked, "You could be a teacher. Sienna's studying English and that's what she wants to do. Plus, you'd be the hot English teacher everyone would be crushing on."

  He laughed which was much better than a sigh. "Yeah... I don't know, I'll figure it out. You're staying here, aren't you?"

   "Yeah, hopefully if I get into Columbia Law." I've loved Columbia so far and the Law School is all I've ever wanted.

   "You will." His words caught me by surprise.

   "You think so?"

   "Yeah, I do."

  I smiled, placing my now empty glass into the sink. "Thanks. I think you'll get that job tomorrow."

   "Look at you being all nice." He chuckled.

   "Hey, I'm practicing for the dinner."

   "Speaking of," he began. "We should see each other beforehand. You know, so it's not weird when we see each other later on."

  Walking back to my room, I whispered "See each other as...?"

   "Have sex?"

   "Yeah."

   "Sure. You can come round to mine."

  Piggy was now asleep, curled up with Knowles's scarf. Damn, she really did like him. He must wear some weird cat pheromone. It would surprise me if she'd secretly crawled into bed with us last night too.

  Something then dawned on me. "We've already broken two rules." The deal we had at the beginning, it had a structure to it, now it was crumbling. "No sleepovers and no sex outside of the club. We've broken both in the space of twenty-four hours."

   "So what's wrong with breaking some more?"

  Walking over to the bed, I closed my laptop and placed it back on my desk. "I like sticking to rules." I explained. "It makes things less complicated." and things were getting more complicated.

   "What's wrong with a little complicated. Makes life interesting."

  He'd told me that complicated people are sometimes the most interesting. Was that what he wanted? More interest in his life. I knew I was using him to some level, I'd forgotten he was using me too.

  Now I felt sick. It was a hypocritical feeling, but I couldn't help it.

   "I think its best if we continue to the rules." I finalised.

   "Okay." His voice grew softer, perhaps he was getting tired.

  I got into bed and lied on my side. "I know the library thing was adventurous —"

"Adventurous?" He cut me off.

"What are you expecting me to say? That it was the best day of my life? Let's be realistic here." I flicked off my big light so my bedside lamp illuminate my room.

"I mean, we talked too, Rya. I told you about my parents and my mom and all you're thinking about is the sex?" He sounded a little frustrated.

My eyebrows pulled together, "I mean, yeah, that was nice. But our whole arrangement is about sex. I don't understand why the talking is so pivotal?" I was using him and he was using me. Remember that. Keep that in check.

"Whatever. I think I'm going to bed now." He sounded annoyed.

"Wait." I said hastily before he had the chance to hang up.

"Rya, I'm tired —"

"I was only being honest."

"And your honesty's pretty damn bleak." His harsh tone took my aback.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"Yeah you don't mean a lot of things apparently."

"I'm sorry?" I had to take a second to process that sentence.

He sighed, "Look, it doesn't matter. I'm doing to to go sleep now —"

"Christopher, do not hang up unless you want me to reach into it and strangle you. What did you mean by that?"

"I... I just... Don't tell me things you don't mean, Rya." His voice was... did his voice just break?

"Chris, I'm not trying to upset you."

"I'm not upset." His voice then hardened. "Look, if you want rules and boundaries, I'll give you some. Don't talk to me during sex."

"What?"

"No 'baby', no taunting or teasing, I'll be clear with what we're doing and all you have to do is listen. That's what you want, right? Dominant and submissive?" This was taking a turn and it wasn't a nice one.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm making things less complicated. The deals back on, that's what you fought for. So, we'll make the rules clearer and stricter. That's the point of this whole thing, right?"

Well, yeah, it was. Although, this felt... hostile.

"I don't want us to argue." I began to panic.

"We're not. We're making things clear and giving no opportunity for..." he stopped himself. For...?

"For what?"

"For... um... for complications." he sounded panicked now.

Him being panicked made me even more panicked, "Chris, I didn't mean to upset you before your exam tomorrow. I'm sorry I just thought being real was better. You know, honesty, it makes things clearer."

He was silent on the other line. "Chris?"

"You haven't upset me." He told me. "Our personal life should be off limits too though."

How has it gone from the library to this so quickly. Was I doing something wrong? "Oh... okay. If you think that's best."

"It keeps a distance."

"You'll still be at dinner right?" I asked, my throat feeling dry.

"Leah wants me there, of course I will." But I was the one who told Leah to invite you.

"Okay." was all I could think to say.

I heard the covers shift again on his line, "I should get to bed." It was getting closer to 2AM now. Dammit.

"Good luck on your exam tomorrow – oh, and your trial shift."

   "Thanks. I'll text you with the club details soon."

  I yawned, tiredness overtaking me. "Sounds good."

   "Goodnight, McCoy." My mood sunk at my own last name. Imagine that.

   "Goodnight, Knowles."

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❤︎ Hello lovelies! Wow... what a rollercoaster! (i'm acting as if i didn't just write it lol) All this drama will certainly make for an interesting dinner, d'you not think?

❤︎ Theories? What will happen next?

❤︎ Thank you all for being so patient for this update! Please don't forget to vote on my chapters, it helps my stories a lot! Remember to drink water and have your little treats, love you all and always xxx