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Previously on PFS...

Liam made Serena go on a trial date with Uranus. Rena realized that she lke Uranus more and she helped a crazy, Latin speaking girl who helped her realize her fat suit is kind of a bad idea. Liam has been released from the hospital.

Chapter Forty-Six: Consider the Elephant Stabbed

I’ve never thought about what’d I do if my whole fat suit situation were made known to the school. I thought too highly about my ability to be able to keep the thing a secret and I just assumed I wouldn’t meet anyone that would try to convince me that my reason for wearing it was wrong. But now, as I sat on one of the school bathroom counters, staring at the hateful comments on the other side, it was the only thing I was thinking about.

Would anyone actually care? I knew I was a pretty infamous person amongst the students of Willow Heights, but it was only because I made it that way. So if I went back to being plain old, fat-suit less Rena, would anyone even notice the sudden loss of bitchy Rena?

Or would they do the opposite and make my life hell for pretending to be fat and mean? I didn’t know if I could handle that. Sure, I could tolerate a bunch of shit thrown my way when I was bitchy Rena, but that’s exactly it. It was bitchy Rena they were talking about, someone I specifically made up—a persona so different from my own. But now, if it was actually me they directed their hate that, I could never recover from it.

“Ew, she’s in here,” some female whispered to her friend when she saw me after she opened the door. “Let’s go somewhere else,” she suggested and shut the bathroom door.

“Didn’t want you in here anyways,” I said even though the girl probably couldn’t hear me anyways.

And there was still the matter of how I would reveal myself. Sure, it’d be nice and dramatic if I just stood in the hallway, stripped from my fat suit, and proclaimed my reasoning behind wearing it, but I probably wouldn’t get a chance to finish talking before everyone scampered off to class, scared of the consequences of being late.

Maybe I didn’t even have to reveal my secret. I could just stop being so mean to people. I’d lose my reputation eventually and live normally, but who knew how long that would take?

I wondered if me revealing all would take a toll on my friends. I still couldn’t talk to them, right? If I did, that would just kind of ruin their reputations because they would be hanging out with the ‘ex-fattie’. I knew Uranus, Holly, and Liam probably wouldn’t care out that stuff, but I didn’t want to make them suffer for my sake.

I looked at the bathroom door wearily. It’d be so easy just to walk that door, no longer carrying the weight of my fat suit. I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out my secret. I wouldn’t have to worry about being an asshole to everyone.

It’d be so easy to just take it off, but here I was just sitting on the counter thinking it over instead of actually doing it. Fear had absolutely everything to do with it. I as never good with change and discarding my fat suit would be like stepping into a whole new world—the part that terrified me most was not knowing whether it would be a worse or better world.

I sat there in the bathroom for a long time, just thinking. Thinking about what I’ve actually accomplished by wearing a fat suit and without wearing one. I thought back to Uranus, Holly, Liam, Sherry, Sam, and even Melanie. I thought about Olivia and her cheerleader friend. There was no doubt that I’ve helped so much more without my suit, and yet I was struggling.

I heard the faint sound of the warning bell go off and I was thankful for it. All my thinking caused a headache to form.

I maneuvered the best I could through the packed hallways, which wasn’t the easiest thing to do when you’re a wide person. One tiny girl who had her stare fixed on the ground, got into my way and I ended up knocking her over.

She looked up to see what had caused her to fall her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. “I-I’m so s-s-sorry. I didn’t mean it!” she stammered out an apology, her voice dripping with fear. “Please don’t hurt me, Serena,” she begged.

I was disheartened by what she said. Was I really that mean when I was at school? The girl was shaking like a Chihuahua all because of me.

“No, I’m sorry. I guess I should have been paying more attention,” I said, fully aware of the double meaning my words had. I should have been paying attention to what bitchy Rena was really evoking within my peers. This girl was terrified of me.

The girl sent me a bewildered look. It soon passed though and she let out a quiet, “It’s okay” and scampered off.

I got the things I needed from my locker and made my way to physics. I sat in my usual seat next to window and stared glumly at the table, recalling what just happened.

“You look sad,” Uranus commented as he sat down in the once vacant spot next to me.

“Do I remind you of Godzilla?” I asked him seriously.

He looked taken back a moment, but then answered, “Not right now, but if you added a tail, we’d have an exact match.”

“You’re an asshole, you know that? I was being serious,” I said.

“It’s hard to take a stupid question seriously,” he retorted.

It dawned on me that my question could have been easily misconstrued out of context. “There was a girl in the hallway who completely freaked out because she walked into me. She reacted to me like I was Godzilla,” I explained, making the connection for him.

“Well, what did you expect? If you act like Godzilla, wreaking havoc or the sake of it, you’re going to be treated like Godzilla, feared and dreaded.”

I was silent for a second, not liking how right Uranus sounded.

“Why are you sitting here?” I asked him, suddenly curious. “You never associate with me at school.”

Uranus got a sheepish expression on his face. He looked away from me and shrugged nonchalantly. “You looked sad.”

“Aw, you would risk your rep for me?” I cooed, teasing him more.

Uranus sunk in his seat in what assumed was embarrassment. “Why are you talking to me?” he asked, redirecting the question to me. “You’re the one who makes sure your school and private life never mingle.”

“You were talking to me. I couldn’t just ignore you,” I tried to excuse my difference in talking behavior.

“You’ve done it before.”

“You looked so cute with all your concern that I couldn’t have just stayed silent,” I tried making him feel uncomfortable so he would shut up.

It worked.

My comment made Uranus pull out his physics textbook and read…upside down. He kept looking at me to see if I was still looking at him. Every time he saw that I still was he’d sink further and further into his chair.

Aw, Uranus was so adorable.

That still sounds wrong.

 :::::

I was going to do it.

After spacing out in most of my morning classes, I had come to decision that I would try to be normal. I was going to stop being mean and start treating people I normally would.

“What are you doing in here, fattie?” some guy asked, passing by.

Nope. That’s it. I’m not doing it.

I sat down again at the table.

My plan was to just join a random table and make friends, but I didn’t feel up to the challenge anymore.

I had originally planned to sit next to Uranus, but I figured that’d be too weird for both Uranus and me. I was curious though to see if he actually had a friend named Bob, to whom Uranus that threatened to tell my secret.

I’ve never paid attention to where or who Uranus sat at with lunch, mostly because I was in the bathroom, but now, since I had forced myself to eat my lunch in the cafeteria, I knew. He sat with the popular bunch. Uranus. Popular. How?
It’d never occur to me that Uranus might have been very popular because he was such an asshole, but that was my mistake. Popular people were, for the most part, assholes. So it made perfect sense now.

He was currently sitting next to a few football players, some cheerleaders (Olivia not included), and Alex. Alex of all people. Why?

I slightly wondered if that was where Holly sat too, but she was way too kind to be fraternizing with people of this nature.

“Why do I have to do it?”

“Because you picked rock, dumbass.”

“But-but I don’t want to ask her to move!”

Some loud whispering going next to me drew my attention. A few feet away from me, a group of people was holding their lunch trays, just waiting.

“You guys going to move, or are you just waiting for me to make you move?” I said instinctually. Crap… way to be normal, Rena.

“Whoa,” the tall guy of the group began to move. “You’re the one who’s sitting at our table.”

“Your table? It’s school property, asshole.”

Goddammit. I’m obviously not good at this.

“It’s okay. You can have it!” a shy-looking girl exclaimed, looking afraid of me.

“Bri, be quiet. It’s our spot,” another girl of the group shushed her friend. “Come on,” she said, grabbed her shy friend’s wrist, and confidently took the seat across from me.

The rest of the group, after recovering from shock at their fellow friend’s poise, filled in the other seats at the table.

I was speechless because this has never happened to me, but I wanted to make the best of it. I was just given a golden opportunity to change my ways.

“So, what about those gas prices?” I asked nervously, breaking the silence.

“No one cares,” the tall guy said and then started conversing with the guy next to him, which consequently made the others join in on the conversation.

It stung being disregarded, but at the same time, how could I have expected any different? These people have grown so used to the idea that I’m a bitchy, nerdy, and slutty fat person that they automatically reject me. I wanted to believe that there would be people who wouldn’t do that, but after all the rumors I’ve spread about myself, I don’t think there was a soul who would even attempt being my friend the way I am now.

I had spaced out, looking at the wall opposite to me, but then I realized the confident girl was staring at me with curious green eyes.

“What?” I asked.

She averted her eyes and ignored me.

“Eva, what do you think?” With that, the curious girl got drawn into the others’ talk, leaving me on the outskirts.

When I realized there was no point in feeling awkward, I got up and left, feeling disappointed, discouraged, and disheartened.

 ::::

“What do you want?” I asked irritably when Uranus’s footsteps fell into pace with mine. I was in a bad mood ever since the whole cafeteria-rejection situation and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to go home and sulk.

“To get some ice cream with you,” he answered happily, entirely disregarding that I was in a shitty mood.

“No.”

“We’re going.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Oui”

“No.”

“Ja.”

“No.”

“Hai.”

“Bye.”

“No.”

“So we agree? No, I’m not going,” I said.

“No, you said bye so I said no,” Uranus explained.

“I said bye because you said hi!”

“Hai as in ‘yes’ in Japanese. If you hadn’t noticed, I was saying yes in multiple languages in order to annoy you into saying yes.”

“Well, it didn’t work. I’m not going.”

Hopefully my brother was actually here today and decided not to leave me in the care of Uranus. Thankfully, I managed to catch sight of my brother’s messy head of hair through the mass of people rushing to get their respective vehicles and drive away from this place.

I bee-lined my way through, hoping to lose Uranus in the crowd, but the resistance I felt from my backpack suggested otherwise. He was using my backpack as a freaking leash.

“Kurt, make him go away,” I whined to my brother once I made my way to him.

“Wait, hold on. Let me put on my strict dad impersonation on,” Kurt said and put a finger up to silence me, even though I wasn’t talking anymore. He took in a breath, closed his eyes for a second, and then opened them again. “Leave her alone,” Kurt said, deepening his voice. He wagged his finger at Uranus. “You, young man, do not have the proper intentions and ergo cannot be graced with her presence to the… erm where are you going?”

“Ice cream,” Uranus answered, looking amused at this.

I could only look at my brother tiredly. I should have known he wouldn’t have helped me.

“Ice cream?” Kurt asked, breaking his act. “Can I go?” he asked excitedly, looking at Uranus with a puppy dog expression.

“Si,” Uranus replied, continuing on with saying ‘yes’ in different languages.

“D,” Kurt said in response, unsurely. “Why are we saying the alphabet? Never mind. I don’t want to go with you anymore. Bye, Rena. Have fun!” Kurt said and walked off, sending a wink my way.

Hmm, I thought he was team Liam. Maybe he was just team ‘Rena, get a date’.

“I can still walk home, “ I said once I saw the smug look on Uranus’s face.

“But you won’t.”

“How do you know?” I asked and started walking.

“Because I know you and you’re not the most active person.”

Well, I couldn’t disagree with that.

“Your face isn’t the most active person…because it’s a face and not a person,” I tried reasoning my way through a logical comeback. It wasn’t going well.

“I’m not going to bother bashing that comeback because I’m sure even you know how bad it was,” Uranus told me. “My car is this way,” he directed a few seconds later when I was veering from the way to his car.

I was going to argue some more, but thinking it over, I’d probably be dragged into his car anyways, so just going along with this would save me the trouble of arguing.

I wasn’t really in a talking mood, so the ride consisted of loud demonic music and me staring out the window. I could feel Uranus’s gaze on me every time he stopped at a red light, but he didn’t say anything.

I was enjoying the view outside the window. The trees were going by in a blur, interrupted by the occasional metallic flash of other cars on the road. It was strange. The car was the one moving, but it seemed like the opposite. It seemed like the world was moving around us. I wish life were like sometimes. I wish that we could stop and idly watch life go by, but unfortunately whenever life moved, it moved us with it.

The trees stopped whizzing by, signaling that Uranus was slowing down. We were heading towards a plaza.

“Tell me we’re not going to McDonalds’,” I said, turning down the music, so he could hear the incredulity in my voice.

“I could tell you that, but I’d be lying.”

I could only respond with an eye roll. We didn’t even go inside. We ordered through the drive through and parked in the parking lot, rolling down the windows so we didn’t suffocate.

“Thanks,” I said as I scooped up a spoonful of McFlurry. Despite all my internal complaining, I actually appreciated Uranus’s attempt of trying to cheer me up.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?” he asked, shuffling in his seat so he could look at me easier.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I lied, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth in hopes of stalling.

“Really? You were walking out of school looking like your dog just died just for nothing?”

“huun omm,” I emphasized my inability to speak by letting out unintelligible mumblings.

Uranus gave me an impatient look and faced the windshield again. He looked at me every once in awhile, giving me an annoyed look every time he saw that I was still ‘chewing’ my ice cream.

Trying to prolong eating ice cream was a hard thing to do. It starts to melt and you’re just holding melted ice cream in your mouth. So, finding the sensation of melted ice cream in my mouth displeasing, I swallowed.

“Usually when people say, ‘Nothing’s wrong’, they usually don’t want to talk about it,” I told him.

“Yeah, but when they say that, they’re actually dying to tell someone to relive them of some internal suffering,” Uranus tried to say to exude an air of wisdom, but the look he was giving me countered it. He couldn’t say it with a straight face, which made me crack a tiny smile.

“I tried acting normal—it didn’t work,” I said quietly, no longer finding the strength to look at Uranus.

“Is that why you were in the cafeteria today?”

“Yeah, I was sitting with a group of people and I tried being normal. And I was…rejected,” I said, summarizing what had happened.

“Define ‘being normal’.”

I thought about it for a moment. “I talked about gas prices.” I cringed when I realized what I had just said. Gas prices. Really? Of all the things I could have said, I had to blurt out something out gas prices. No wonder they rejected me.

“Gas prices?” Uranus repeated, wondering if he heard me correctly.

“Yes,” I muttered sheepishly. “Hey, why do you sit at the ‘cool’ people table?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

Uranus looked like he knew what I was trying to do, but answered my question nevertheless, “Because I am cool.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“Are you insinuating that I’m not cool?”

“Yes, considering the fact that you’re being oblivious to the ice cream melting onto your hand,” I said, my eyes shifting to the vanilla soft-serve that was dribbling down Uranus’s hand. Uranus looked alarmed as he saw what I was talking about and scrambled to wipe his hand off with some of the napkins they had given us.

“What does that make you then? You have ice cream all over your face,” Uranus countered once he had cleaned off his hand and licked some of the melted part of the cone away.

“I do?” I asked, self consciously touching my face.

“You do now,” Uranus said before shoving his ice cream my way.

I flinched away, letting out a squeal, dropping my McFlurry onto my lap. Not feeling the cold impact of ice cream, I reopened my eyes to see that the ice cream cone was merely inches away from my face, slightly moving because Uranus couldn’t hold it straight through all of his chuckling.

“You’re an asshole,” I muttered, fully aware that he couldn’t hear my insult…like he needed me to tell him anyways.

I started to clean myself up and he was about to say something, but ice cream fell from the ice cream cone and fell straight onto my lap.

All I could do was stare at the mess in my lap and listen to Uranus laugh at me. I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself calm, but I failed miserably. All of my patience and tolerance of Uranus’s annoyingness had finally caught up to me.

“What is your problem?” I shouted at Uranus before I angrily got out of the stupid car.

Uranus apologizing and calling me back was drowned out by my anger. I couldn’t take it anymore. Between being rejected after trying to be normal, stressing out over what to do with my relationship issues, and worrying my ass off for Holly, I was surprised I hadn’t lost it when Uranus dragged me to his car.

I blindly walked out of the parking lot and soon just walking along the sidewalk with the cars passing by. Uranus was still following me, but he had stopped calling my name when he realized he was doing it in vain.

I didn’t meet Uranus’s eyes when he approached the tree. I heard him sigh. Stopping a foot away from me, he mumbled, “I’m sorry,” and handed me a bunch of napkins. When I took them in my hands, he walked to the other side of the tree and leaned on it.

Plopping down on the ground, I began to clean myself up. By the clicking sounds that were coming from the other side of the tree, I assumed that Uranus was texting someone.

“If you’re bored, you can leave,” I snapped at him, not appreciating the fact that he was texting while I was the other side of the tree, seething with anger.

I didn’t get an answer from him, but my phone buzzed from inside my pocket. I pulled my phone out to see that Uranus had sent me a picture of a bunny with the following text: I bunn-eed you to forgive me.

That was lame. Even by my standards. I texted back.

After that, I didn’t bother checking the other messages Uranus kept sending me. Instead, I looked at the cars and the occasional person passing by. It put me back into my serene state and made me realize I was overreacting.

The sun had sunk in the sky, making me wonder how long Uranus and I had been sitting under this tree. I checked my phone to see the time, ignoring all the texts Uranus had sent me. It was about 4:30, meaning that we were out here four at least an hour and a half.

“Uranus?” I called softly.

The guilt sank in when Uranus didn’t reply to me. Did I make him wait too long?

“Uranus?” I called again, this time turning around to look at the other side of the tree. When I saw that Uranus was sitting statue-still, I nervously stood up and walked to the other side.

Relief went through me when I saw that Uranus was just sleeping and not so annoyed with me that he wasn’t speaking.

The light shining through the leaves of the tree illuminated Uranus’s face. It would have probably made him look peaceful if it weren’t for the way Uranus had actually fallen asleep. His chin was pointed in the air, with his mouth hanging open allowing some salvia to dribble down the side of it.

I almost laughed at his sleeping form, but upon closer inspection, I could see dark circles under his eyes. I wondered what caused his lack of sleep and I soon realized that he was worried about Holly.

Not wanting to disturb him, I sat down next to him quietly. I stared at Uranus a bit longer, but I stopped when I came to the conclusion that a sleeping Uranus was not an attractive Uranus.

I preoccupied myself with my phone until Uranus’s phone went off, blasting out some more demonic music. ‘Aunt Sue’ flashed onto the screen. Uranus snorted in his sleep, but didn’t show any signs of waking up anytime soon.

Since he had fallen asleep with the phone on his crotch, I didn’t really want to answer his phone, so I let it go to voicemail. But Aunt Sue just kept calling and calling and I grew worried. What if something happened to Sam or her?

Still not wanting to place my hand anywhere near Uranus’s crotch area, I found a nearby stick and tried to push his phone off of his lap so I could answer it without feeling embarrassed about it.  But as soon as I touched the phone, Uranus woke up with a jolt and I froze.

It took a moment for Uranus to shake off his drowsiness. When he did, he stared at the stick that was positioned at his crotch, which was being wielded by me.

“I swear it’s not what it looks like,” I said hurriedly and dropped the stick and scooted away from him. “The phone…your aunt… crotch,” I struggled to find the words to explain this very awkward situation.

Uranus still looked freaked out, but he ignored it for now and answered his phone. “Hello?” His voice was husky from sleep and he still had some drool on his face. “No…I’m with Rena...Yes, the pretzel girl…Yeah, I know…In a while…Okay, bye.”

After he hung up, I elaborated on my explanation of why I was pointing a stick at his crotch.

“Riiiight,” Uranus said with a teasing smile.

“You have drool on your face,” I said in response. “Can I go home now?” I asked a minute later when Uranus had finished clearing the drool from his face.

“No,” Uranus said instantly. “I didn’t show you what I meant to show you,” he explained his hasty veto of my proposal and patted the ground next to him, gesturing for me to sit next to him.

“This better be good,” I told him sat where he had patted.

He held up his phone and placed it on his knee. He opened up the Netflix app and searched through the selection.

“We’re going to watch a movie?” I asked tiredly.

“One of the best of its time,” he answered. “The Breakfast Club,” Uranus said with pride.

“I swear to God if this is movie about people loving breakfast, I will do something bad to you.”

Uranus just shushed me and muttered something about not ruining the movie.

“Saturday…March 24, 1984…”

Uranus and I were soon pulled into the movie. We found ourselves laughing, getting Goosebumps, and then tearing up a bit all in the same movie. At some point, the sun had dropped to the horizon, it was getting colder, and the streets were full with traffic. All the same, Uranus and I sat there together watching the movie under the tree of some random part of the street and sometime the in duration of it, we were sitting so close that the shoulder of my fat suit was being squished by Uranus arm.

“But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.”

The movie ended with Judd Nelson’s classic fist bump to the air and I don’t know why, but it brought me to tears.

“Now do you see why I showed this movie to you?” Uranus asked, looking at me with his Listerine blue eyes.

“To show me the brilliance of eighties movies?” I guessed.

“No, don’t you see, Rena? The people at our school just see you as what they want to see you as. They want to see you as your other self—the bad parts. That’s not going to change, even if you are kind to them and take off your suit. The only way to get people to change is if they themselves decide that they don’t want to be brainwashed anymore and want to change. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re true to yourself at all times and that does not include your suit and bitchiness,” Uranus told me, not taking his eyes off of mine for a second.

“But I’m scared,” I whispered.

Uranus took my hand. “I know, but I can promise you that you will be much happier when it’s said and done. Just think about it. You don’t have to hide yourself whenever you go outside, you can be nice to other people, and be around the people you care about in public without worrying about your secret coming out.”

The mixture of Uranus’s words and the intensity at which he was gazing at me made my heart hammer in my chest. His words were making sense now, but whenever I thought of me acting normal within the walls of Willow Heights, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t handle the stress of everyone noticing that I wasn’t, in fact, an obese girl.

I couldn’t handle the thought of the guilt sinking when I pass by someone I had been mean to in the past. Because let’s face it, sometimes it felt so good being mean Rena that I hurt innocent people.

…Was he getting closer?

My thoughts shut down after noticing the distance between Uranus and I’s faces was decreasing and the rate at which my heart was beating increased. I could literally feel his breath on my face.

“Rena…” Uranus said my name so quietly I had to strain to hear him despite how close I was to him.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head up, eager to recreate some of my fantasies. But then guilt flooded me with images of Holly and Liam. I was about to kiss a good friend’s ex not even a week after they officially called it off while she was God knows where, trying to explore herself. I was about to kiss someone other than who I had kissed in the past week. I was about to become a breaker of the unspoken girl code and a slut. I was about to betray a friend and someone who was in love with me.

I instantly opened my eyes and turned my head to the side so Uranus ended up kissing my cheek instead. Uranus pulled away from me, looking sad but I think what I was thinking came into his mind and he, too, looked guilty.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized, scooting away from him. “Holly… and Liam,” I said and Uranus nodded in understanding.

“I shouldn’t have,” he said. “I’ll take you home,” he stated and started standing up.

I followed him wordlessly. The ride back was pure silent torture. Uranus didn’t even play his demonic music.

Uranus dropped me off at my house with a muttered goodbye. I waved him off and he was soon on the way to his place. I tried going back into my house, but my conscience was telling me otherwise.

I had to go talk to Liam.

I felt like a stalker.

I was standing outside of Liam’s house, in the dark, just waiting for someone to come out. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever was going on in Liam’s house, which seemed like a welcome home party.

I’ve called him four times, but there was no answer.

What sucked the most was that I was stuck waiting. I was waiting—waiting to break Liam’s heart, waiting to see how Liam would react, waiting to know if Liam would start hating me.

I had spent the entire walk here trying to plan how I was going to tell him without crushing him, but I didn’t end up finding a single way to communicate that I didn’t like him as much as Uranus without sounding like an asshole. And now I would be a bigger asshole for doing it here at a party celebrating that he had beat cancer.

“I’m such an asshole,” I told myself, bringing myself further into self-pity.

Suddenly the door opened and Nadia came out carrying some trash bags, complaining about how she always did the dirty work around there.

“Hi, Nadia,” I greeted her.

Nadia let out a squeal and dropped the bags onto the ground. “Oh, Rena. It’s just you,” she said, sounding frazzled. “Don’t sneak up on people like that,” she scolded me.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“What are you doing here, sitting in the dark?” she asked, but then she suddenly gasped. “Did you talk to the other man?”

“How do you know about that?” I asked, hoping that Liam wasn’t broadcasting all of our relationship things to his sisters.

“I may or may not have eavesdropped,” she answered quickly. “But anyhoo, since you’re here, I’m going to assume that you did. So, what are you waiting for? Let’s go talk to Liam!” she said excitedly and pulled me up by my wrist and started dragging me into the house, forgetting the trash bags on the porch.

“I really don’t want to bother your guys’ party.”

“Psh, it’s not much of one any ways. Everyone here is from my dad’s shuffleboard club and all they’re talking about is the importance of a good strong wrist. Anyways, Liam’s been sulking outside the entire time.”

I got a lot of strange looks from Mr. Nelson’s shuffleboard buddies as Nadia dragged me through the Nelson’s house.

“Okay, have fun,” Nadia wished before he shoved me out of the house and into the backyard.

The only major light in the Nelsons’ backyard was the dim one I was standing under. The rest of it was barely lit by small LED lights, strung around trees and pathways and the light of the pool.

Liam was sitting by the pool, facing away from his house.

“Liam?” I called and approached the guy.

“Rena?” Liam turned around to face me.

“Hey,” I greeted and rushed to his side for a hug. He returned it with as much enthusiasm.

“You look sad,” Liam told me as he pulled away and held my shoulders. His brows were furrowed and he looked concerned.

“Maybe it’s just my face,” I muttered, fed up with people telling me that today.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I smiled. “How are you?” I asked genuinely. He looked a lot better. He looked refreshed, the bandages were off revealing some brown hair that had started to grow back, and he looked happy.

“Better now that you’re here,” he said, giving me a toothy grin.

“I wonder how long you’ve been waiting to say that,” I teased. “But, seriously how are you?”

“Honestly, I feel great. I’m tired most of the time, but apparently that’s normal.”

We both fell into silence, knowing that the elephant in the room of the whole Uranus thing was going to make its presence known sooner or later. And I wasn’t the one that was going to do it.

“Did you talk to him?” Liam decided to stab the elephant in the butt.

“Do we have to talk about that now, Liam? You just got released from the hospital. We can talk about—”

“I have to know, Rena,” Liam cut off my attempt to avoid the elephant.

“Yes,” I answered and looked nervously at him.

“And?”

The little that I had planned to say on my walk here flew out of my mind when I looked up and saw how scared of what my response would be Liam was. His lips were already set into a small frown and his eyes just screamed ANXIOUS.

I don’t know what brought me to say it, but I ended up saying one of the worst things. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

After the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to shove them back in, choke them down my throat, and pretend like it didn’t happen.

I averted my eyes, not having the strength to watch Liam’s face contort further into despair as he processed my words.

“The cliché breaking up line…before we even started dating? That’s harsh, Rena,” Liam tried to keep a light tone, but it sounded like he wasn’t far from crying.

“Liam…” I said, feeling terrible that he was so upset. “I’m so sorry,” I apologized.

I tried to embrace him, but he leaned away from me. Instead he searched my face, looking desperate for a sign that what I was saying wasn’t true. When he couldn’t find it, his lips sank lower into a frown and he gently placed a hand under my chin, softly caressing my face with his thumb.

All of this was slowly killing me. I wanted to take it back. I wanted to say that what I felt for him was stronger than what I felt for Uranus, but my heart wasn’t saying that.

He inspected my face one last time before getting up. “Goodbye, Rena,” he said quietly and ran off to his house.

I immediately tried to catch up to him, but he was already in his house by the time I stood up. Running into the Nelson’s posh house, I urgently searched for Liam, but he was nowhere amongst the party guests.

“You should leave,” Cam sneered from the right side. “Haven’t you done enough damage?” she asked me venomously.

“Please. I just want to make sure he’s okay,” I begged her to let me talk to him, but she wasn’t having any of it.

“You’re the reason he’s not. Do you think that you would make him feel any better?”

“Nadia!” I called the bleach blonde as she passed by, hoping I’d have better luck with her, but I got a glare in return.

“Come on, Rena. It’s for the best,” Sarah told me, coming out of nowhere and linked her arm with mine. “I don’t think he wants to see you for a while,” she added as she led me to the front door.

“Hey, what’s going on? Nadia was ponding on Liam’s door like a mad lady,” Lexie asked, coming out from what looked like a game room.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Sarah waved off her sister. “Bye, Rena,” she told me before she opened the door and placed me outside, shutting it quickly.

I tried pounding on the door, demanding to be let in but it was no use. I walked down the steps of the Nelsons’ porch slowly. I kept that pace as I trudged down the driveway, avoiding the many cars that were in it for the party. I didn’t look back until I was a good way away.

What did I just do?

 :::

I was getting used to walking in extreme sadness after visiting Liam. It seemed like the path from Liam’s house to my house could be properly named the path of despair. Because I was so used to walking it by now, it seemed like I was walking mechanically because my mind was set on nothing over than Liam and the heart wrenching look on his face.

I had just gotten him back and now I lost him again, but this time he was choosing to be separated from me.

My mind was so dead set on Liam that I almost didn’t notice the two figures in front of my door as I approached my house. As I got closer, I realized whom one of them was.

Holly.

:::x:::O:::x:::

Author's Note:

So...there was your long overdue chapter. I'm on fall break, so I will hopefully get one more update in before I have to go back to the hellhole... I mean high school. But don't jinx it.

AND ERMEHGERD URANUS...RENA...LIAM... AND HOLLY?!?!

Oh and if you haven't seen The Breakfast Club, here's a summary: A group of high schoolers get locked up in Saturday detention because they've done bad things (well...okay, not ALL of them). They distinguish themselves as parts of different cliques like the jocks, popular, badass, nerd, and crazy. They eventually warm up to each other, share each other's pains an realize that there is so much more to each other.

Okay, I'm not doing it justice with that crappy summary. Just go watch it... if you're over thirteen. It's vulgar just warning you.

Kay, bye!

Wait.. one last thing. Some of you want different endings for whom Rena ends up with. This is what I'm going to do. Whenever this book ends with the way I want it to, I will start the other series of chapters for Rena ending up with the other guy. BUT ONLY WHEN THIS BOOK IS DONE. Sound good?