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Chapter 28

                The whip crashed against my skin. Again. And Again. Each time it would come. Each time I felt the pain ripple throughout my body. I was hanging from the ceiling in that room. That white room. The vibrant red blood scattered violently across the surface. The rhythmic drips of blood that fell onto the tiles.

                I looked up into the eyes of my father. They glinted in excitement. He looked like a mad man. The violent, evil glance. The deranged glare from his eyes. He stalked around me, slowly and steadily. Each step was purposeful and calculating. Each step thudded against the floor. He was stalking me like and animal who was stalking his pray. I was helpless.

                I hated being helpless.

                I always want to be in control. Something I didn’t get often. He stalked around me. I watched him. I watched his every step.

                “I never wanted you.”

                “You were a burden of your bitch of a mother!”

                “I should kill you.”

                “I will kill your mate. Torture him and make you watch his death.”

                “I will tear you apart.”

                His voice echoed these phrases constantly around the small tiled room. It was constant. Each time they degraded me more and more. The words overlapped each other into to just one chorus of hatred towards me. They clouded my mind and I hated it. I screamed out.

                I watched as he brought the whip back up to bring it down against my skin…

                “Jen. Jen. Wake up! Jen!” I heard Xander speak, as my body was shaken slightly.

                My eyes flickered open and a scared whimper escaped from my lips. I felt some tears stream down my face. I sat up ignoring the pain from my body which protested at my movement. Xander pulled me too him. My head rested against his chest as his arms circled me. His hand went to my head and his fingers entwined within my hair soothingly. He shushed me quietly as I cried into his chest.

                “Shhh. It is just a nightmare. He is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore,” Xander soothed, “You are Jennifer Holly Turner. You are eighteen years old and part of the Silver Moon Pack. Say it to yourself.”

                I sighed, “I am Jennifer Holly Turner. I am eighteen years old and part of the Silver Moon Pack.”

                “Say it again,” Xander instructed.

                “I am Jennifer Holly Turner. I am eighteen years old and part of the Silver Moon Pack.” I repeated.

                I was now calm. I had broken free of my nightmare that consumed me. My breathing became stable and the tears stopped flowing. We remained like this. We didn’t move. I remained curled up in Xander’s arms. The tingles ran through me and Anna was content inside of me. I felt at ease and that was exactly what I needed right now.

                “You better?” Xander asked me, as I looked up at him.

                “I am. I am better,” I smiled back as best as I could.

                I placed my head back against his chest just feeling and hearing his heart beat beneath me. It was so relaxing and soothing. Thank god Xander was here because that was truly terrifying. It was scary as hell. Xander and I just remained still in this position for a while. We both held onto each other dearly knowing that we had been so close to losing each other. I couldn’t take that thought.

                We both missed the footsteps approach the door. The door opened and in walked in the doctor. He looked a little taken aback to see us both like this but most of all seeing me awake. He looked a little bit sheepish as if he had interrupted something intimate.

                “I am so sorry. I will come back at a better time,” the doctor spoke, turning to head out.

                “No. It is fine. You have to check her over?” Xander questioned.

                The doctor nodded. Xander untangled himself from being next to me and sat in his chair beside the bed. He ran his hands through his hair which fluffed it out into his usual style. I looked at the doctor as he came round. He looked at the heart monitor and jotted the numbers and levels down onto his chart. He came over to me and took out all the tubes and unhooked all the wires which relieved me to no end.

                “Can I have a look at your incision, Miss Turner?” He asked.

                “It is Jennifer but that is fine,” I replied.

                I lay back on the bed and he moved part of my gown to my side. He inspected the surgery area and smiled happily. I looked down and saw that it was perfectly healed. I could only just make out the incision line.

                “The incision is fine. Your sats are perfect. You are going to be in discomfort for a bit but that is expected. You just need to take it easy if anything,” The doctor explained.

                I sighed in relief. I really had survived.

                “Thank you doctor. Thank everyone that worked on Jen. Thank them for both of us,” Xander smiled.

                “It was our honour,” the doctor replied, before making a move to the door.

                “Wait,” I called, Xander and the doctor turned to look at me, “My scars. Is there anything you can do?”

                The doctor’s face dropped and I knew the answer right then.

                “I am sorry. We rearranged skin on your back and added grafts to reduce as much scaring as we could but it is extensive and we can’t do anything about the scars. They are by silver and there is no remedy for that. Scars on your front and back will be permanent. I am sorry,” the doctor replied.

                “It’s fine. I knew that anyway. Thank you anyway,” I smiled.

                The doctor nodded and walked out of the room. I sighed placing my head into my hands. I had survived and I was truly grateful but I was always going to be scarred and my body plagued by the marks. That was my sacrifice. I guess it could have been worse.

                “Jen. Don’t let these scars get over you. I love you anyway. You are beautiful,” Xander spoke.

                I looked and smiled at him. He smiled back.

                “Can I get a shower and get out of here please?” I asked.

                “Of course. I will get you back to my room and I will get you some food and drink. I will be gone for a couple of hours. The funerals are today,” Xander explained.

                “I am going to the funeral too,” I explained.

                “You are still hurt. I don’t want you tiring yourself out,” Xander pleaded.

                “It is the least I can do to go to the funeral for those that risked their life,” I spoke back defiantly.

                “I wouldn’t have thought of you any other way. Come on. I will help you. Your leg still isn’t perfectly healed. It will be in a couple of hours,” Xander explained.

                I looked down at my leg which was heavily strapped up with a splint to keep it straight. It was nearly healed. I could sense that but it was better to not antagonize it for a bit. I nodded. I brushed my fingers over my hair to flatten it out to make it somewhat more presentable. Xander passed me a dressing gown which I threw around me.

                Xander came around and lifted me gently off of the bed. I was placed gently on the floor and I leant against Xander for support. He wrapped an arm around my waist to make sure I was steady. He gently kept his arm around me to not hurt me and we began to move towards the door. It was slow and steady. I felt Xander sigh beside me.

                The next thing I knew was swept off of my feet. I squealed lightly and heard Xander chuckle. I hit him on the chest.

                “You were taking ages. This is easier and faster,” Xander laughed.

                “Come on then,” I laughed.

                He pulled open the door and carried me through. I was blushing violently and buried my head into Xander’s chest. I felt him laugh beneath me.

                “Don’t laugh. This is embarrassing,” I exclaimed.

                “Can’t I carry my mate?” Xander questioned, looking down at me.

                “No. He most definitely can’t,” I replied.

                “Well I will have to change that,” Xander spoke, placing his hands.

                I laughed at that as I felt him carry through the many corridors of the medical wing. I didn’t look around but I noticed Xander would nod to people that we passed but they were kind enough to give us the privacy we needed. I saw the change in décor as we went from the medical wing into the main section of the house. I noticed that the place was already busy with people talking and working as they prepared for the funerals later today.

                “Xander put me down please. I don’t want to be carried through here,” I asked.

                “They know you are hurt. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Honestly, they understand,” Xander explained, I sighed and nodded in response.

                We were walking through the main area of the house now and were nearing the main entrance when Xander suddenly stopped as a child ran out in front of him. I hissed in pain at the slight jolt realising there was still quite away until I was fully healed.

                “Careful Max. Why don’t you run outside?” Xander spoke to the cute little blonde haired boy.

                “Sorry Alpha,” the boys spoke before running off.

                “Are you ok? Where did you hurt? How much pain are you in?” Xander rattled out in a blur.

                “Calm down. I am fine. I am ok. Just a little bit of pain,” I replied soothing and calming him down.

                “Ok. Sorry. Just a little overprotective right now,” Xander sighed.

                “Put me down. I will be fine. I don’t want to be seen totally destroyed,” I smiled.

                “Ok,” Xander spoke.

                I was gently placed down and Xander supported me again. We took our time as we walked through the corridors. My body was aching all over but I felt I needed to move and stretch my muscles out. I listened around to the life and vitality that seemed to echo through the pack house. It was duller today because of the funeral but it was still better than that of the rogue pack.

                We made it into the main entrance hall and I spotted them. Xander’s parents were stood talking. I had killed their son. I had killed him. They would hate me. I froze and couldn’t seem to move. Xander took hold of my hand and rubbed it soothingly.

                “We can go past. I had an argument with my mum anyway,” Xander explained.

                I turned to face him. Confusion clearly evident on my face.

                “An argument?” I questioned.

                Xander looked a little sheepish and did his usual running his hands through his hair. I noticed he did it when he was stressed, angry or nervous. I crossed my arms across my chest.

                “My mum wasn’t happy about you killing Jamie. I flipped at her. I was stressed. I didn’t know if you were going to die and she hadn’t seen the state you were in because of Jamie turning you in. I blame Jamie and hate him and I couldn’t stand her questioning you while you were nearly dying,” Xander sighed.

                I groaned in frustration. He was so stupid. I hit him lightly on the back of the head.          

                “You are such a moron. I can see why but can’t you see from your mum’s point of view. She is torn between the mate of her oldest son and her own son. I killed her child which she gave birth to and raised. Can’t you see her inner turmoil,” I scolded.

                Xander looked proper sheepish as if he was a small child being caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. I couldn’t help the slight smile that broke onto my face. Xander looked at me inquisitively.

                “What are you smiling at?” He asked, as he took hold of my other hand.

                “You. You looked like a little child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar,” I chuckled.

                “Oh you think this is funny,” Xander smirked, pulling me gently to him.

                He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before we turned back and saw his parents looking at us. They both looked turned and I turned my gaze away from them. I couldn’t bear the broken looks in their faces. I had caused them that. I had caused all of that. I scuttled away from the Xander and moved towards the stairs. I needed to get away.

                “Jen,” Xander spoke, worriedly.

                I kept moving towards the stairs in an attempt to get away from this situation, ignoring the pain in my recovering leg. I felt Xander rush over to me in order to give me support.

                “Jennifer?” I heard Julia shout.

                I froze in place as I hear her footsteps come closer to me. Xander rubbed the top of my back soothingly.

                “Jen, turn around,” I heard Julia speak.

                I shook my head not willing myself to turn around. I didn’t want to. If I turned around and saw her broken face again, I would crumble. I would break down. I was struggling to hold the crushing guilt at bay.

                “Please?” She pleaded.

                “Mum. Please. She needs to rest. She is still recovering,” Xander scolded.

                I turned around anyway but kept my head down. I couldn’t find the will to look at her.

                “D-did you kill Jamie?” She asked me nervously and I could sense she was about to cry.

                I nodded my head unable to find my voice to reply. I stared at the floor nervously and began to fiddle with my fingers nervously.

                “How?”

                I shook my head not wanting to tell her that I slit her son’s throat.

                “I need to know,” She pleaded, taking hold of my arms making me flinch.

                “Mum. Back off please. My wolf is overprotective right now and you are scaring her,” Xander spoke.

                “I demand to know how he died. He was my son,” Julia argued and I looked up and saw her tear stained eyes.

                “I slit his throat with a silver knife,” I spoke quietly.

                The whole room went eerily silent. You see there weren’t just the four of us in the room. I put my head back down as I heard Julia begin to sob. Xander hugged me close to him as I felt the first few tears fall.

                “I am so sorry. I thought he was my friend. I thought that Jamie was my first friend. Instead I was hung from the ceiling dripping with my own blood and Jamie came in. He told me of how much he h-hated Xander and Molly. Molly was the little girl you had always wanted and Xander was the precious boy who would become Alpha. He was a different person. He had an evil glint in my eye. He laughed at me as blood dripped from my body,” I sobbed.

                “Jen. You don’t need to explain anything,” Xander soothed.

                “He teased me. He made a deal with my father. He would gain power from bringing the pack down. He teased me about being in a great position, the power and the prestige. When I escaped he was blocking my way. I was walking with a twisted leg and I was bleeding. He would have killed me. He had been ordered to. I did what I did to s-survive,” I cried.

                Xander pulled me into a deeper hug. I looked around at Julia who looked crush she shook her head.

                “No. My son wasn’t like that. He loved us. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t,” Julia cried.

                “He would though. Molly saw it. Looking back. I did too,” Tim spoke, as he embraced his inconsolable wife, “How are you doing?”

                I couldn’t answer. I was sobbing.

                “She is hurt but recovering. I will tell you later in privacy,” Xander explained.

                Xander picked me up and carried me upstairs and away from the drama that surrounded us right now. I heard Xander close the door and he placed me on the bed. He comforted me as I sobbed into his shoulder. He soothed me as I calmed myself down.   

                Once the tears stopped and my eyes were red and puffy. I got up and went in the shower while Xander got both of us some food. I stayed a while in the shower as I felt the warm water rushed over my body. I didn’t look down at my stomach and I hadn’t yet seen my back. I didn’t want to just yet.

                I stood relaxing in the shower as if all of my worries were slowly washing down the drain. Once I was done I climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body and then one around my hair. I was just going to let it dry naturally. I was too exhausted to do anything else.

                I entered the bedroom to see Xander sat on the bed with a tray full food for our breakfast to say it was already 11:00. I smiled and sat down beside him.

                “You ok?” He asked, gently as he took a bite from a slice of toast.

                I nodded in reply before helping myself to the food. I realised then just how hungry I was. I ate loads but Xander didn’t mention anything. The surgery and all the pain had taken its toll on me. I drank some orange juice but it wasn’t long before all of the food was gone.

                “When are the funerals?” I asked Xander as I stood up.

                “In an hour. I will leave you to get ready,” Xander explained.

                I nodded and turned towards the bathroom meaning my back was too him. I heard him gasp and he let out a lowly growl and I turned to face him. I watched his eyes flicker black. He had seen some of the scars on my back. I sighed and left the room so he could calm down.

                Once I heard him leave I went into the closet and pulled out a flowing black dress that wouldn’t grip my body too tightly. I grabbed all of my other necessities before drying myself and my hair thoroughly. I pulled on my undergarments before deciding to look in the mirror.

                I gasped at the sight I saw. My back was a mess with long drawn out scars that were crossed over one another. My front was a maze of little scars in criss-crossed patterns all across my stomach. I looked like a monster. The state of my body was terrible. I couldn’t stand it.

                I quickly freshened myself up. I pulled my hair up into a neat bun and pulled on the black dress carefully. Luckily, it had long sleeves that clutched at my arms nicely. It covered everything I was trying to hide. It came down to just above my knee. I pulled on some black tights and some black flats. My leg was now well enough to sort of walk on now. I pulled on my locket before leaving the bathroom. Xander was lying on the bed in a smart suit with his eyes closed. He wasn’t asleep.

                He opened his eyes and smiled at me delicately.

                “Come on. Let’s go.”