April's Family Friendly PG Par-Tay Playlist rendered any and all conversation inside the house impossible. Pressing a kiss to her cheek, I extracted myself from Jenna's bone-crushing grip and stepped outside into the backyard. The sun beat down lightly across the deck, leaving an ominous glow across the drink station Thomas had rushed set up. The umbrella was at half mast, threatening to poke the eyes out of anyone who didn't duck low enough to swipe at whatever lowly snacks still sat on the table. Its shadow barely covered the red velvet cake Willow had brought, with thick cream cheese frosting that at one point spelt out 'Con-grad-ulations, Beau!' and now just said 'nads' in all caps.

I grabbed one of the many half melted chunks of ice scattered around the table and dropped it into my drink. Leaning against the railing, I waved over at Tommo who was splayed on the barcalounger and looked moments away from passing out. I tugged at my shirt, wondering how many wash cycles it would take to get rid of Jenna's mascara stains. I couldn't complain too much though. She'd apologised with a carefully smuggled can of beer that I later realised was more foam than anything else. It didn't stop me from taking a slow sip from the warped can though as I gazed over the grill. I'd been trying for the better part of an hour to gather up the courage to go talk to my Dad, who had made it very clear he would not be leaving his spot at the grill until the party was over. I didn't really blame him for it. There was more than enough food to keep him occupied and small talk had never been his strong suit. I hummed into my beer, psyching myself up to walk down the steps and not just back inside.

"You look like your head might implode if you stare any harder."

I jumped at the sound of April's voice. Straining my neck, I caught sight of her devilish fringe and scolded her for her dramatic entrance. Dragging the sliding door shut behind her, she just jutted her chin toward Dad and frowned back, "Just go and give him a hug or something."

"I think that's the worst thing I could," I said, turning back around. I swirled my drink lightly, fingering the foam. Immediate regret followed at the tackiness it left behind and I sighed. "We could barely manage a handshake after the ceremony."

"Mom got a couple good photos in the end, though your eyes aren't open in any of them." April shrugged, coming to stand by my side. She jumped when I threw my arm around her, squeezing her shoulder lightly. Her skin was cold, frozen by our overactive air conditioning unit. It made my hand feel all the more clammy so I let her go after briefly dusting my beer soaked fingers on her shirt. "Probably better that way though, your eyes were so red from crying you looked stoned."

I threw my head back at that, barking out a laugh at her audacity. "I'm pretty sure you're the one who almost knocked me onto my ass, crying into my gown and begging me not to leave."

"I don't remember that at all. You must be mixing me up with Thomas." April blushed, lips tight as she glared up at me. I ruffled her hair, tugging lightly when she tried to side-step away. "Fuck off, Bow-Bow."

"Language, April," Dad said, voice booming over the general chatter across the yard. I let go of April's hair, trying not to look too smug as she mumbled an apology.

"You know I'll still be around to annoy you, right?" I promised, pausing to sip my drink as April schooled her features. I watched her brow unfurl under her bangs, lip twitching as she fought to maintain an unbothered demeanour. "And you can come visit me on campus anytime you want."

April opened her mouth, a sardonic comment most likely at the ready. She paused though, jaw snapping shut as she internally wrestled with what she was about to say. Her eyes closed for a moment and I fought back a grin when she limply stated, "I'm going to miss you, Beau."

She stormed off before I could reply.

The first syllable of  "I'll miss you too" hit stagnant air and I fought back a frown. The conversation could've gone worse but it still annoyed me that my sister never let a genuine moment between us linger. I took another sip of beer, running my tongue along the edge of my teeth as I watched her disappear around the side of the house, haloed by the setting sun. Running a hand through my hair I started down the steps, beelining it to Tommo before I could think otherwise.

"You're stalling," he said as I dropped down on the sliver of space at the foot of his lounger.

"It's sunset," I argued. "You said that—"

"I know what I said," Tommo parroted, peaking an eye open. It glared pointedly at me, then flickering over my shoulder. "But I also distinctly remember promising that I wouldn't let you sneak out of your own party without talking to your dad first. The man's been poking at coals for an hour, everyone's already eating. Take the olive branch already, dude."

"Anyone ever tell you that your unswayable moral compass is exhausting," I muttered, rolling my eyes. Tommo didn't respond, merely raised a leg and kicked at my shoulder until I finally got to my feet. "Asshole."

I left my drink burrowed in the grass by Tommo's lounger, figuring I would end up chugging the thing the longer the awkward silence between my father and I dragged out. Party in the USA blared from one of the many speakers April had trussed around the backyard. I dragged my feet through the grass as I approached the barbecue, hands sweating in my pockets when I finally stopped at my dad's side.

"Hey—"

"What does your mother want?" He asked and I jumped a little at the assumption. Strangely though the words brought a terse laugh up my throat, forcing my shoulders to relax as I shook my head at his confused glare.

"Mom's fine. I just thought I'd come see if you needed any help on the grill."

"The food's all done, Beau," he said, nodding over at the table splayed with now empty trays. "I'm just cleaning off the grit."

"Oh." I felt my cheeks flush and cleared my throat. Dad turned his head, focus back on the grill. It was pretty much spotless, a testimony to the fact he had been pretending to look busy for longer than I thought. I looked past his shoulder and ran a hand through my hair, trying to will back the nerve I had to drag myself over to talk to him in the first place. In my back pocket my phone buzzed sharply and I fumbled for it quickly, ignoring my Dad's faint huff.

S. FOX [7:43PM]: Mom's a little wine drunk and insists on karaoke before I leave. Just a heads up I might be a little late

I had barely pocketed my phone when my Dad spoke. The words were firm and considered, not exactly effortful but slow enough to make me freeze.

"I'm proud of you, Beau." If I had been stood so close to him, I would've been hurt by the coldness. But then he raised his head, met my gaze, and I watched as the red edges of his eyes shine with unshed tears.

I forced a breath through my teeth, feeling an awkward half smile graze my lips as my brain mentally decoded the truth behind what he was trying to say. "I love you too, Dad."

"Go help your mother,"

"She's not doing anything," I furrowed my brow in confusion until Dad cleared his throat. At the discreet drag of his cheek across the shoulder of his shirt I straightened, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, right. I'll see if we need more ice."

"We always need more ice." Dad let out a gruff breath, narrowing his gaze on to the empty grill as further sign of my dismissal. I backed away, turning over in my head what could've been the most vulnerable, if not curt, conversation I'd ever had with my father. Reclaiming my phone, I typed back a message to Spencer to take his time and headed inside to find Tommo. I needed to leave before I was roped into anymore sappiness. Taking the stairs two at a time I headed to my room and grabbed a hoodie to throw on over my shirt, unlacing my shoes and replacing them with a worn pair of Doc's I hadn't used in a while. It was as I shut the closet door that I noticed my bed's reflection in my mirror and the tousled state of my pillows.

"I swear to God Flemming, if you stole my favorite pillow I'm gonna kill—" the threat died on my lips when I made out a brown paper wrapped block wedged between my pillows. Dubious, I skimmed my finger along the edge, not entirely unsure it wasn't a bomb, before grabbing it. Drawing a finger down the taped back I arched a brow at the leather backed book cover that greeted me, unconfused. Mom had already given me my graduation gift after the ceremony, I wasn't sure why she'd have hid this one. Tossing the paper to the ground I chuckled as I read the embroidered title.

The Brother Grimms Collected Fairytales

Nudging the book open to the dedications page and I rolled my eyes, snapping it shut at the lengthy cursive adorning the page. "Very cute, Bella."

I placed the book on my desk face down, pulling my hoodie up as I glanced at my opened bedroom window. Snapping it shut I made sure to the lock was on this time then left my room.

Stanley's bike was still leant against Jenny's van so I hopped on and cut across the yard, down the street before anyone could catch up to me. It was only when I reached the main intersection that I flicked Tommo a message, confirming he was already at Dovers and slowed down. The air was crisp, sky a lot darker than expected for just after eight in the evening. I ran the edge of my sleeve under my nose, fighting back a sniffle as I rode slowly down the pavement. I was finally alone with my thoughts for the first time that day, and it was more overwhelming than I thought. I sighed in relief when I made out the headlights of Iris's car in the parking lot by the park's entrance. Pulling to a stop, I waves her over then patted the handle bars.

"My mother always told me to never accept a ride from strangers." She smirked, though her hands braces the bars either side of her as she jumped on.

I laughed, pushing us onto the path that lead to the main grounds. "Even when they look as handsome as I do?"

"If generic blond men are considered handsome, then yes," she deadpanned.

"You wound me Miss Young," I feigned a pout I knew she couldn't see, smiling when she chuckled lightly. Raising a hand, she waved at a shadowy figure stood at the edge of the smaller track fields and I followed suit when I realized it was Tommo hunched over a box of fireworks. "You got here fast!"

He shrugged as I stopped the bike beside him, offering a hand to Iris. She accepted it, gracefully bounding off the handlebars. I couldn't help but notice the red marks they left along the back of her thighs, wondering if I should look into padding the bars before I remembered this was probably the last time we'd all be in the same place again. A knot curled in the bottom of my stomach at the idea and I forced myself to focus on the moment, not the lingering goodbye it held.

"Where's Spencer?" He asked, bending over to pull out a collection of mini sparklers. Iris' face lit up as she took one in either hand, passing one on to me. I twirled it between my fingers, then raised my palm out for Tommo's lighter. "I assumed he would've been the one riding shotgun."

"Family stuff," I said, flicking the wick of the lighter then tipping the flame onto my sparkler. It ignited with a sharp hiss that made Iris jump, then laugh as I did the same for her. "Should be here later on."

"I say we make a wish before the sparkler dies," Iris interjected and I glanced at Tommo, unimpressed. "Come on! It'll be fun."

"What are we, seven?" I scolded, reaching out to trace a giant X of disagreement with my sparkler. "You two can wish upon a star all night long. I'm here to dissociate to bright colors and banging noises."

"Beau was forced to confront his emotions and his father this afternoon," Tommo murmured to Iris. I glared at the pair of them, especially when Iris offered me a sympathetic smile.

"You know what, Iris's game sounds fun. I'll start," I said, then cleared my throat pointedly. "I wish Tommo would keep his mouth shut for once."

Iris offered a blank stare back as I threw my near dead sparkler to the ground then stamped it out.

"I wish Beau would be less of a drama queen," Tommo countered, doing the same then kicking the crumpled metal at my toes. We both stared at the dead sparkler for a moment before a choked laugh broke its way through my throat and suddenly we were hugging. Tommo's hand all but engulfed my left shoulder as we swayed side to side, drawing back only to laugh again as we stepped away.

"I wish you weren't the best person I knew," I told him, words muffled as I swiped a hand across my mouth annoyed at the bittersweet tremble it gave as I spoke.

"I wish you hadn't realized that so late into our friendship." He smirked.

"Fuck you," I said, but I was grinning. I walked over to Iris, who had been making herself busy pretending to scope out the fireworks, and threw an arm around her shoulders. "I wish you and I had become better friends sooner."

She smiled. It was the same smile that made my stomach turn in confused knots, only now it brought a mild peace to my mind as she glanced up at me and said, "I wish you nothing but the best going forward, Beau," then to Tommo warned, "I wish you to not become a stranger Theodore."

Tommo raised his hands in surrender, nodding as he skirted around us to rummage through the box. He pulled out a thin tube of fireworks and swore, "that's the last thing I plan to be. To either of you."

I let go of Iris's shoulder at the soft buzz of my phone in my pocket, smiling at Tommo before I looked down at the notification. "Spencer just arrived, I'll go meet him at the gate. You guys set up, should be back in a couple minutes."

I didn't wait for a response, just spun on my heel and jogged back up the trail. I had made it halfway back to the carpark when a odd feeling lingered in my stomach and somehow, in the blink of an eye, I found myself at the mouth of the path leading to the main track field. It was dark enough that the overhead lights had been turned out, part of the reason why we opted for the smaller field to set our fireworks off at. On the far end of the track I noted a figured dressed in grey sweats walking along the track, cigarette smoke looming over their head. They paused, as if sensing someone was nearby, then turned my way.

Clarke.

His arm raised, cigarette a mere nub between his fingers. He didn't wave, or really move beyond the quick jolt of his arm upright. I shrugged back my hood, running a hand through my hair as his arm slowly lowered. I took a step back, then another, and suddenly I had turned away, already marching back up the path. For a second I thought I heard my name called but when I glanced back, Clarke was running, head down, cigarette gone.

I found Spencer laid out on the windscreen of his car. He'd changed into a worn out pair of jeans and a fitted grey shirt. Goosebumps lingered on forearms he had crossed over his face, as though he was fighting off the harsh rays of a sun that wasn't there. I nudged the edge of his sneakers with my hand, unsurprised when he merely huffed in response.

"At least shuffle over if you're going to brood on your car," I said, scrambling on when he did finally move.

"I'm not brooding," he said, tone muffled, "I'm merely enjoying this final moment of peace before my Mom comes and arrests us for the use of illegal fireworks."

"I somehow keep forgetting your Mom is an officer of the law."

I grinned when Spencer dropped his arms to look at me incredulously.

"I'm not sure how that's possible since it's literally how we met," he scoffed.

"I'm pretty sure we met when you served me a mediocre sandwich."

"My sandwiches are far from mediocre, take that back right now," he snapped, adding, "and I'm pretty sure the first time we met was when you ate shit while being tackled onto the sidewalk."

"Your brute strength was not appreciated enough in that moment," I mused and Spencer laughed.

"You saying you want to wrestle, spark up old memories?"

I shoved his shoulder, chuckling as I shook my head. "I think I'm starting to be grateful for all the unconventional friendships I've formed this past year."

"Ouch," Spencer gasped, faking an affronted hand to the chest. "Can't believe I'm already back in the friend-zone."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes, turning to look at him better. The windscreen fogged beneath my cheek as I spoke, "I'd say you're my best friend, but we both know I'd be lying."

"I'm happy to take second place after Tommo any day." Spencer grinned and I couldn't help but stare at him. The subtle creases that fell under his eyes when he smiled, the shine of his bottom lip, the perfect edges of his teeth. I kissed him quickly, softly, then sighed.

"Third place. After Iris."

Spencer barked out a laugh, shoving a hand at my chest as he tutted. "Now you're pushing it."

A sharp line of red light broke across the sky then, sprinkling out into faded lines of gold and dots of silver. Moments later an eruption of green and blue followed, letting off a sharp crackling noise as it.

"I think that's Tommo's warning that we're taking too long." Spencer sighed, leaning up on his elbows. "We should go."

"In a second. I want to enjoy this moment with you."

Slowly, Spencer leaned back against the windscreen but not before a foreign expression drifted across his face. It reminded me of fondness, confusion too. Like I was some alien species he had decided to entertain. "You truly are a sap, Beau Miller."

"Don't act like you don't love it, Spencer Fox," I sniped back. My eyes widened at the slip, darting over to Spencer. He was the picture of relaxation, eyes closed as he reclined beside me. His hand found mine, twining our fingers together and I couldn't find it in myself to apologize for the clamminess.

When he spoke, it was mildly amused and light. It made me feel as though everything had changed, but yet that things were going to be okay. I clung to his hand a little tighter, then closed my eyes as his voice rushed over me and faded into the crackle of yet another firework.

"I never said I didn't."