Day one without Jim dragged. In the morning, I tidied the house to stop myself from missing him. I still missed him, but at least everything was squeaky clean. Not much changed in the afternoon. Jim was still in my thoughts when I entered the bookstore.

My colleague Liz was behind the counter. As soon as her eyes landed on me, she waved me over.

"What's up?" I asked.

A mischievous glint danced in her eyes. "A little bird told me you might get promoted soon. Don't say anything cause it's a secret for now, but your customer stopped by and asked to talk to William. He said your book knowledge impressed the woman."

"Wow."

"I'm with her — I loved everything you recommended. William could give you more responsibilities and pay you more, of course."

"Let's see if that's true." I laughed. "And I won't say a word, don't worry. We'll pretend it didn't happen."

Liz gave me a thumbs up and returned to her duties. An hour into my shift, it became clear I wouldn't have enough distractions to stop replaying each moment with Jim in my head. The store was empty — everyone must've been on the beach.

That was my plan, too. As soon as my workday was over, I dashed out of the bookstore and headed to my car. The girls and I agreed to meet at the marina to grab some drinks and gossip. Partly, Ivy and I wanted to distract Isla — the less time she spent at home where everything reminded her of Rose, the better.

As I got behind the wheel and looked in the rearview mirror, a Toyota parked a few feet away caught my eye. The driver looked vaguely familiar, but the baseball cap hid his face. Unwilling to dwell on that, I turned the key in the ignition and reversed out of the parking lot.

Shades of orange tinted the evening sky by the time I arrived at the  bar. Deep in conversation, Isla and Ivy didn't notice me at first.

"Hey!" I said, pulling a chair out.

"Finally!" Ivy jumped to her feet and wrapped me in her arms. "I missed you. Well, we did."

"That's right," Isla said, pulling at the hem of my sundress so I'd lean down and kiss her cheek.

"How are you?" I asked.

The corners of her mouth twitched. "Getting there. It's been only a few days. I'm trying to take it one day at a time."

"That's my girl." Ivy high-fived her. "Listen, why don't we grab the drinks and sit on the sand? I have a towel in my trunk."

"Sounds like a plan." I took out my wallet. "What would you like? My treat."

"Lemonade," Isla said.

Ivy nodded. "Same. But we're getting wasted at Isla's later."

Isla narrowed her eyes. "Are we?"

A triumphant smile spread across Ivy's face. "Oh yeah."

***

We sat huddled together, watching the waves lap against the shore under the last rays of the evening sun. 

"We need to go to the beach and sunbathe," Ivy said. 

Isla sipped her lemonade and shrugged. "Why not? I miss being lobster red. Some say it's a trendy color."

"Like coral red but fancier," Ivy said. She got tanned in summer and had the prettiest golden skin. Isla had to be careful, though —  getting sunburned was easy with skin so fair, even if she applied a thick layer of sunscreen.

"But seriously, let's do it. We can go to one of the beaches out of the city tomorrow morning and return in time for Ava's shift," Ivy said.

I raised my arms above my head and stretched. "Count me in."

An hour later, we picked up our things and got into Ivy's car. She drove us to Isla's in record time, probably fueled by the excitement to have a proper girls' night, consuming drinks way stronger than the lemonade.

"We're making cocktails," she declared, retrieving a bag from the trunk.

"Whoa." My eyes widened when I peeked inside. "Did you rob a liquor store?"

"My parents won't notice if something's missing. They have way too much stuff and hardly ever drink. Plus, I know my limit."

Isla bit her lip. "Which is?"

"Internet stalking every crush I've had. If you see me doing that, get me some water and put me to bed."

"Done," I said, following Isla to the porch.

She unlocked the door, and we crossed the threshold. 

Rose's presence was still tangible, although she was gone. It hurt to think she'd never hug us or ask us about our day and the boys we liked. She'd been a big part of our childhood, but to Isla, Rose was everything. Life was tragically unfair sometimes.

If Isla was sad, she didn't let it show. Perhaps she wanted a break from grieving, and if that were the case, Ivy and I would make sure to distract her.

Ivy set to work at the kitchen counter, preparing the cocktails while Isla and I helped ourselves to potato chips. 

"You could've made a Margarita," Isla said, eyeing the red liquid in the glass Ivy gave her.

"Lobster Love for you." Ivy wiggled her brows.

"Can we flip her off?" Isla whispered, glancing my way.

"Not before she gives me mine." I rubbed my palms together.

Ivy put a finger under her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "Yours is… Super But Not Star."

"Fitting." Isla laughed. "You're awful, Ivy. What should we call yours?"

Ivy went quiet, reaching for a glass with something yellow in it. "Still thinking. I'm not sure. Let's drink."

My taste buds liked what Ivy mixed, but the sweet taste paired with the light burning sensation was a free pass to Tipsyland. Not that I minded — I had a superstar to ban from my thoughts, after all.

We grabbed the glasses and went to the living room. Ivy and I took the couch while Isla sat in the armchair. 

"I like my Lobster Love," she said. "That might be the only love I'll ever get cause at this point in my life, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die a virgin."

"That's bullshit." Ivy twirled her glass, studying the liquid. "Look at Ava — she'd never dated, and then boom. She's almost Ava O'Brien."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes.

"He's super into you. He looks at you like you're a dessert, and he's on a strict diet," Isla said.

Ivy raised a finger. "Like he's a football fan and you're The Super Bowl. Tasha must be running out of needles for her voodoo dolls."

The mention of my ex-friend-turned-enemy made the cocktail taste bitter. Some people could forget easily, but I wasn't one of them. Her betrayal cut deep, and each time the wound healed, something made it bleed again.

It was my fault Jim and I took a break, but we wouldn't have needed one hadn't it been for Tasha's intrigues and her desire to break us up. 

The confession threatened to escape my mouth, but I swallowed the words. The matter was delicate and embarrassing at the same time. Jealously wasn't something I felt until Jim, but when I read that note, the ugly emotion overpowered everything. Even love.

"Tasha can go screw herself." Isla shrugged. "Let's not bring her up."

I took a generous sip. "Agreed."

"Which doesn't mean we can't talk about other people, such as Jackson. We haven't met him yet." Isla's eyes twinkled as she looked at Ivy.

Blush tinted Ivy's cheeks. She tugged at the hem of her dress, staring at her knees.

"Is everything alright between you two?" I asked.

Ivy rested the glass on the arm of the couch and rubbed her face. "Yeah. Well, if having to finish the job by myself is considered to be alright."

"Elaborate for the virgins here." Isla squinted.

"Not much to elaborate. Our first time was okay. There was chemistry, and I thought it'd always be like that. But now he gives me his back as soon as he finishes without giving a damn about me, you know?"

If the conversation happened before Jim and I started dating, I would've had nothing to say. Things were different now.

"Does he know you need more time?" I asked.

"It's not about time, I guess." Ivy crossed her arms. "It's about caring. I guess we have to talk about it. I tried, but he brushed me off. So, I took matters into my own hands."

Isla and I chuckled. 

"Try lying in bed frustrated while your guy snores," Ivy huffed.

"Maybe he's not the guy for you, unlike another guy whose name starts with J."

I glanced at Isla, who reached for her cocktail and downed half of it.

"I would never go there. Remember my ex? Jason's exactly like him — cocky, popular with girls, tattooed."

"You always say judging guys by their looks is wrong," Isla said. "He seemed interested in you."

"He was interested in someone who's taken. I'm probably just a challenge to him cause I didn't give him the time of day." Bitterness laced Ivy's words. 

Insisting wasn't a good idea, so we said nothing.

"I need to confess something."

Ivy and I swiveled our heads at the same time and faced Isla. "You do?"

"Refill first." Isla handed Ivy her empty glass.

Ivy darted to the kitchen and was back with another cocktail that didn't look so red. "Spill it." She thrust the glass into Isla's hands, who took a sip right away.

"I know Fin from the band. Not like Tasha knows Jim, you know? Not like some stalker but for real. Remember I told you he looked familiar?"

"I do," I said.

"I'm ninety percent sure he's the boy Rose brought home sometimes when I was a kid. We were friends who played together and shared the bed. I got scared of the thunderstorm once, and he told me he'd protect me."

"Oh wow. Did he recognize you?" Ivy sat straighter and leaned forward, her dark eyes fixed on our friend.

"That's the thing — he didn't. He didn't even look at me. Although he changed, I'd bet he's the Fin I used to know. I was seven, so he must've been eight or nine at the time. How can you forget someone you spent plenty of time with?"

Memories of meeting Fin for the first time in his apartment surged in my brain. "Maybe he recognized you but didn't know how to approach you? He seems timid and closed off. Maybe it's not about you."

"Guess I'll find out." Isla yawned. "Thanks for not laughing at me."

Ivy put a hand over her heart. "We would never."

***

Twenty-nine days to go.

I stared at the ceiling in Isla's guest bedroom, too riled up and tipsy to sleep.

I could blame the alcohol, but I knew better.

My body didn't tingle from the cocktails but the guy thousands of miles away.

Jim kept his promise — he gave me space. Too bad he didn't tell me what to do with my feelings and the need for him.

I grabbed my phone and unlocked the screen. It was almost a new day in Paris.

The tingles grew stronger, and so did my resolve.

I wanted to take matters into my own hands tonight, but I needed to listen to Jim's voice while I did.

Sorry for stopping there, but I thought we'd want that scene in Jim's POV. Am I right?

More soon. Tell me your thoughts and hit that little star. It motivates us and helps us out a lot!

Love,
Alwyn