Jongin stopped by the door to the backyard to lean against the frame of it, stuck in thoughts and hesitation. His eyes glancing over to kyungsoo sitting on the grass, a board in front of him that he seemed to be doing some exercises on with his shaky hand, carrying the brace. hed been out here all day according to sojoon, who'd been suspicious over something having happened but if it was one thing the pack was good at it was loyalty, none of them said anything to sojoon but eujin made it clear that he has to get over himself and apologize for the sake of both of them.

and it wasnt like jongin didnt want to either, it just felt lot harder than he thought it should. He'd felt guilty all night and sleeping had been an issue with him even before. He just didnt trust his mind to stay in the present whenever hed gone to bed. He knew he would go back to before sojoon found him and he hated being reminded of it all the time. He hated that he couldnt be able to let it go. Like it would always somehow be a part of him, a scar that no one but him could see and when he'd questioned kyungsoo, hed realized he'd carried his own.

He stepped forward scowling at himself for making it harder by thinking too much even as he quietly sat down beside the omega, who briefly glanced to his side clearly irritated by his arrival.

" what're doing ?" Jongin asked, low tone as he peaked over at the wooden board, it was a sketch, drawn lightly by a pen and kyungsoo was holding a carving knife, carving out the lines of the picture. " did you draw th-"
" I promised not to hurt anyone so dont test me"

Jongin kept quiet at that, pressing his lips together awkwardly and it made the omega uncomfortable the least. Unconsciously he'd started carving more aggressively, making the lines harsher and deeper ripped into the wood " yixing drew this, he told me to carve it, its suppose to be good for my wrist or whatever, now piss off "

Jongin exhaled again but didnt move
" look I'm sorry about yesterday, I didnt come from easy circumstances myself alright " the words left him in a tone more defensive than he'd intended, causing him to swallow to try again " sojoon saved my life.. All of them did.. and I'm just. I'm thankful and very protective over this pack "

Kyungsoo stopped carving, moving the pain down slightly " you think I'm a danger.. "

" I underestimated you once and I see you fight, when you train the way you move- "
" youve been watching me train ?" Kyungsoo looked at him now.

" yeah.." the beta shrug" it's, quite intimidating, which is somewhat weird because you're an omega.." he explained in honesty, keeping his frown however.

Kyungsoo stayed silent, eyes moving down as he lifted the knife to continue carving.
" I know you think I'm cold blooded killer " he started " and partially you're right I don't care about taking someones life, I dont feel remorse or that it's wrong but that doesnt mean I like it.. or do it out of boredom. I kill when I see it necessary.. no second thoughts, no is it ok though? its kill. or be killed. and I kill. the only reason your stupid omegas survived was because I made that choice"

Jongin watched him, somewhat finding understanding in what the omega had explained. even if it was still difficult to comprehend the fact that he'd killed so many wolves with a simple axe. With that expression of his, he found himself understanding that taking ones life was something the omega must've gotten used to, something he must've learned to be ready for. one may not have a choice when it was only them without a pack or an alpha to trust behind themselves.

" now leave me alone or your face will be my next carving space"

Jongin huffed out a slight chuckle of air still in disbelieve at the threatening nature of kyungsoo but he didnt get up instead he lifted his knees to rest his arms on them " so.. are we good?"

Kyungsoo gave him only a brief frowned glance, showing nothing but irritation.
" its just.." jongin started again uncomfortable at that " I heard you were having trouble sleeping last night and.. " he exhaled " I know I caused it.. do you- do you wanna talk about it ?"

This time kyungsoo couldnt help but laugh, feeling rediculed and fooled all of a sudden.
" do I wanna talk about it ? Are you serious ? To who? You? Because you want to know?" kyungsoo looked at him deadly, anger and displease evident " I couldnt care less if you feel guilty or not or whatever and need me to accept some sort of a worthless apology from you. Your conscience is not my problem, nutcracker "

Jongins clenched his jaw and for a moment he thought to insult the little shit return or rather hed just get up and walk away. Screw him and his attitude. His loud mouth and patronizing words. But as he continued to silently insult him in his head, hed finally glanced back at him and realized he'd seen parts of himself from the timein which he'd been just like that. When sojoon had stayed seated and silent. When he'd stayed patient and kind.

He released a heavy breaths to calm himself.
" you're right" he admitted " I'm sorry.. "

Kyungsoo stopped his hand from continuing to carve angrily, he hadnt expected this sort of reaction from the beta.
And then he'd been silent again, he didnt leave he just sat there in silence making the omega more uncomfortable the more time passed, forcing him to recall the conversationa nd irritating him further as he realized he'd started having second thought. Kyungsoo realized that hed started to feel bad for snapping. Perhaps some sort of not so bad intention was behind the beta joining him here arterall and he knew he shouldnt care even if that was the case but the unwellness hed felt in his gut was making it difficult.

" what circumstances?" He finally asked with a sigh continuing to carve more gentle and careful this time, like the exercise had called for from the start.
What ?" Jonging blinked confused.

" you said you grew up with difficult circumstances " he asked again not wanting to lessen his firm tone only quieting it down little.

But the beta didn't answer at first, silently thinking of how or what to respond. More or less if he really should but it wasn't like he kept his past a secret, it wasn't like he was ashamed of anything nore vulnerable to others because of it. If anything he learned people feared him more because they knew what hed grown up with. It wasnt an insult even if it haunted him and he wished he could erase it all, truth was he couldnt escape it, hed have to live with it at least the part hed ladmit to himself. others were buried further than even he himself would allow for reaching " I was sold.. "

Kyungsoos glare faded as he looked down, more attentive than before." my parents were poor and I've heard addicts so they sold me for their shit.. I ended up fighting in an underground fightclub along with other kids, Earning my different owners money until I was 12, well.. erm, I.. I got injured, badly in a fight. I guess the cost of fixing me up again was more than my value so.. so they threw me away into one of the dumpsters to die.
Sojoon found me, saved me"

Kyungsoo swallowed, hands barely gripping the carving pen. He'd learned how things were around Here, how everyone talked and reacted to things hed say that he thought were normal, but learned werent. He sort of just assumed whatever jongin may call difficult circumstances just meant something little, something kyungsoo wouldnt even have minded or something he'd even would feel glad for. Hearing different had surprised him. " I'm sorry " he finally said. Not sure what hed been apologizing for. He was sorry for that the beta had to go through what he did but he felt it more for Thinking jongin was arrogant with an injured pride over their fight when in reality, he now understood, jongin had just been cautious over experience. Something kyungsoo could very well relate to.

Jongin pressed his lips together with a little nod. Slightly Furrowing eyes that showed the dept of his past and as it was silent again both started to see see each other in a mutual light of respect.
Allowing kyungsoo to feel a little more at ease.
" there was an alpha.. " he started again " I was suppose to give him a child" kyungsoo continued carving " I couldnt.. "

Jongin curled his hands into a fist grimacing at the senseless mentality. " he told me he would rip my guts out and then move on to the next omega.. "

the beta watched him as he stopped craving " so I bashed his head in with a bucket.. but he ended up surviving and killing someone I- .. kill or be killed. "

jongin exhaled, pained at the thought of anyone having to go through with it " I'm sorry.. "

" maybe it was for the better, she was an omega too... She only wouldve suffered more " kyungsoo mumbled, eyes focused on the carving and.

jongin looked down, not knowing if he should respond nore what he possibly could. Instead he kept his lips sealed and leaned back, letting the conversation sink in.