Sunghoon tossed around in his bed. Sunoo would arrive anytime now, and he doesn't know how to start a conversation with him.

   "Hello,"

   He bites his lip. It was too awkward.

   "You're here?"

  Ugh, too cold.

   "Hello, how are you?"

   He closed his eyes and banged his head on the pillow several times.

   Sunghoon never thought that he would be worrying about how to talk with the younger. Is it that hard?

   Well, it's not like he can just pretend everything is fine after ignoring him for several days.

   Imagine trying your best to converse with someone who doesn't give you any response. It's like talking to a statue.

🌻

   Sunoo smiled awkwardly at the man in front of him.

   "How are you, Sunoo-ssi?" Park Joonwoo asked, happy to stumble upon his ex-patient.

   Sunoo gripped the flowers in his hand. He never thought to meet the man again, and not after he stopped going to the hospital.

   "I'm doing fine, doctor. How about you?"

   Joonwoo stared at him for a second before answering, "I'm fine too," before asking him where he was going after this, hoping that they could have a drink together before Sunoo had to go.

   "I'm going to visit my...." Sunoo can't just say his lover, "my friend,"

   Joonwoo let out an Ahh, not telling him about his plan of having a drink together.

   They exchanged couples of small talks before Joonwoo told him he had to go and meet someone else.

   Sunoo did nothing to stop him. Instead, he felt relieved that the man had to go as he was late for his visit.

   Joonwoo stretched out his hand for a handshake, "Goodbye, for now, Sunoo-ssi,"

   Although Sunoo was reluctant to shake hands with the latter, he still does it because what if someone was looking at them and began spreading rumours about him being rude.

   He grabbed his hand firmly, telling him to have a nice day and watched Joonwoo walk away.

   He then continued to make his way to Sunghoon's room. Not noticing Joonwoo, turning around and staring at the flower he was holding.

🌻

   Sunoo knocked on the door and heard Sunghoon telling him to come in.

   'That is weird,' he thought to himself as Sunghoon had never invited him to come inside for the past visits.

   When he stepped inside the room, the sight in front of him made him frown.

   Sunghoon was sitting up on the bed, looking at his directions with his pretty eyes.

   "...you're here," Sunghoon said while he was replacing dead flowers from the vase with the sunflower.

   He had his back turned at Sunghoon. Not knowing what kind of expression the latter was wearing when he talked to him.

   The change in his attitude was too sudden; it was overwhelming.

   He was happy, but he was mad at him at the same time.

   His tears start to gather in his eyes, and he quickly wipes them before they fall.

    "it's nice knowing you can still talk, Hyung," Sunoo said sarcastically and took his usual seat near Sunghoon.

   "I'm sorry," he apologised.

   Sunoo hid his face from Sunghoon when he started crying.

   "I'm sorry," he said, choking on his words.

    Both of them were broken.

   Sunghoon heard Sunoo sniffling and placed his hand on his cheek before wiping his tears.

   "You're so stupid," Sunoo said before hitting Sunghoon's chest with his fist.

   Sunghoon sighed, pulled Sunoo into a hug, and tightened his hold around his more petite body. "I know,"

   They stayed in that position for as long as they wanted before Sunghoon pulled away and settled with holding Sunoo's hand.

   "Can we talk?"

   "Talk about what?"

   "About us,"

   "...sure," Sunoo said, feeling tense, and he was worried about what will happen to them at the end of their conversation.

   "Where do I begin," Sunghoon said while brushing his thumb on Sunoo's knuckles, "I was scared. Every single day, I was scared,"

   "Scared of what?"

   "Losing you, losing myself, losing my life. I was struggling to keep you close to me,"

   "I don't understand why you have to feel that way,"

   "I just can't help it. Especially when all this fake relationship with Jay started," he confessed and held his hand tighter.

   "You don't know how bad I felt whenever I saw you with him. I admit it. I was jealous every time both of you talked with each other, especially when you smiled at Jay's words,"

   'And never at mine,' he thought to himself.

   Sunoo listened to Sunghoon's point of view and recalled when he noticed him staring at Jay and him talking about the said person who was staring.

  Jay told him how Sunghoon used to be a lousy dancer and other stories he had never heard before. He wished Sunghoon would've told him more about himself; that was why hearing stories about the older made him happy.

   "What if you leave me for him? What if you had enough of me? What if I make you unhappy?" Sunoo squeezed his hand to stop him from rambling about his worries.

   "It would've killed me if you were forcing yourself to look happy in front of me," he said. Letting out small chuckles as he stared at his bandaged wrist. "I don't like being the second choice,"

   "You're not!"

   "I know you liked Jay,"

   Sunoo stood up, and Sunghoon thought he would run away from having his feelings revealed. Instead, he grabbed him by his collar with his left hand before slapping him across his face with his other hand.

   That was truly unexpected.

   "Yeah, I liked him- "

   Sunghoon touched his red cheek and kept his eyes low. He doesn't know which hurt more, Sunoo's words or his slap. But either way, it hurts.

   "As a friend,"

   'What?'

   Sunghoon lifted his head and was eye to eye with a frowning Sunoo.

   Sunoo placed his hand on top of Sunghoon's and apologies for slapping him in a soft voice.

   "But you left with him,"

  Sunoo sighed and took a seat on the bed. "I never left,"

   "You did!"

   Yes, Sunoo did leave him. But he never thought Sunghoon would actually act on his words and hurt himself.

   "I couldn't think straight that time. Don't you know how betrayed I felt when I knew you were stalking me?"

   "I didn't stalk- "

   "Park Sunghoon," Sunoo glared at him. "If you didn't tell me that time on the beach, I would stay unaware, never knowing that you were watching my every move,"

   Sunghoon hung his head low, feeling the guilt eating him alive.

   "Fine, it was all my fault," he said after a few moments. "But don't say that you didn't leave me behind,"

   Sunoo saw droplets of tears falling on the blanket. It hurts, and he hates talking about the past with the latter.

   It's like they were picking on a scab that almost healed, letting it bleed again.

   Then his eyes moved to Sunghoon's wrist.

   "Why did you do it?" He asked, breath shaking as he tried to calm down.

   "Do what?" Sunghoon asked.

   "Your wrist,"

   At first, Sunghoon just stared at it without saying anything. He brought his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around it before hiding his face from the younger, "I don't think I can live without you anymore,"

   It never occurred to him that Sunghoon's feeling for him was that deep.

   "Hyung, don't say that. What if I got into an accident and passed away-"

   "I'll simply follow after you,"

   Sunoo opened and closed his mouth like fish gasping for air. He didn't know what to reply.

   "There's no point in living without you, Sunoo," he continued. He knew it sounded crazy and that what he said was wrong. But he believes that it was true.

   The younger closed his eyes and counted to ten, not letting his emotions take better of his action.

   Sunoo placed his hands on the sides of Sunghoon's face and slowly forced him to look at him.

   "Don't say that," he said.

   Sunghoon shut his eyes tight when he felt another rush of tears coming out, and he told Sunoo to let his face go.

   "Sunghoon Hyung, would you want me to kill myself after you died?"

   What Sunoo just said made Sunghoon open his eyes.

   "...no,"

   Sunghoon is such a selfish human being, and he knew that better than anyone else.

   "Do you understand where I came from now?" Sunoo asked, still holding his face in place. "I would never want someone dear to me to be hurt," he said and pulled him into a hug.

   It was so long since they've been this close to each other. Sunghoon craved for Sunoo's warmth, and he felt dumb for rejecting him every time he went to visit before.

   "I will break up with Jay Hyung soon," he told him. He will do everything to make Sunghoon feel better.

   Sunghoon told him that he didn't have to do that. Hiding his joy as he said those words to Sunoo.

   Sunoo shakes his head, brushing his hair with Sunghoon's from being in a hug with the latter.

   "There's no time better than now to break up with him. We've finished our promotions, and everyone is paying attention to different celebs now,"

   At first, Sunghoon was overjoyed. Then he remembered how the entertainment world works.

   "What if people throw hate on both of you for breaking up,"

   "Who cares about what people said. They can waste their time being miserable while I live my life to the fullest," he said.

   "No, just stay with him. I won't be able to stand it,"

"And continue lying to the public?" And hurting you?

   Sunghoon nodded. He thought it was for the best, not noticing the pained look in Sunoo's eyes.

   "But you won't like that!"

   "..."

   Sunoo apologised for shouting before continuing with his words, but nothing came out of his mouth because he realised they would end up in a fight if he were to continue.

   Sunghoon knew that was why he didn't say anything.

   He took a deep breath.

   "Sunoo-ya, remember what you said to me before leaving?"

   "Yes..." And he regretted it.

   The look on Sunghoon's face told him that he wouldn't like what he was about to say.

   Has the time come for them to part? 

    Sunoo knew if he let Sunghoon say what he thought he was going to say, it would be the end of them. So, he broke the silence first, "Hyung, let's take a break,"

    "A break?"

   "Our relationship, until we fix everything," he explained.

   Sunghoon could only agree as Sunoo was still trying to save whatever they had between each other.

   Sunoo interlocked his hand with Sunghoon's once again and stared into his eyes.

   "Let's go home,"

   ╔────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──────╗
  
I was planning to write an email to my professor😃...but finished writing this chapter instead😅

They're so dramatic and I loved it🧍🏻‍♀️

I don't even know where is this story going on from now...but I do know the ending...

Class started so it's back to inconsistent update😔

Take care everyone and remember to do what you love💕

Question of the chapter:
Will they get back together or not?

🌻

   ╚────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──────╝