My hands cradled my phone while I gave myself a mini pep talk before; I pressed the dial button to call my one love Iza.

"Hello," a high-pitched enthusiastic voice answered. It was Iza.

"Hi, it's me, Eliana. I wanted to ask if you would like to hang out during the holidays?" I held my breath as I impatiently waited for her response.

"Okay, how about... Monday?" she replied.

I let go of my breath in relief that my plan was going well. "Perfect, I'll pick you up at 1:00 pm on Monday and then we'll decide what to do."

"Great, see you then." Her voice spoke with such certainty and enthusiasm.

The phone call ended, but her words echoed through my head. This is one reason why I love her because she makes me warm but not burn cool but not freeze.

I let my head fall on to the bed as I look to the ceiling as my mind pictures how I would tell her my love.

Monday arrived slowly, but it arrived. I sat there at the swings, my hands shaking my eyes searching for her.

She came in a beautiful, patterned dress while doing her iconic twirl as the skirt moved as her feet commanded like the ballet dancers on a stage following one another as they performed elegantly. I looked at her in pure awe as she sat on the swing next to me.

"Ummmm, Hi. you look amazing." words tumbled out of my mouth as I cluelessly looked at her. She smiled, and the sun hit her face, making her glow like a goddess.

Some time went by as we swung on the swings, but my heart was fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird as I enjoyed the not so awkward silence between me and her.

"Well, what are your plans for the future?" I shyly ask, hoping that I might be a part of it at least in the sidelines somewhere I just want to be with her.

It was like a gateway to her life as she spoke about becoming a dancer earning enough money to buy a house and then to fall in love with someone who will be caring and loving toward her as they live with their children and have a dog named Koda.

For some reason, I felt like I was that person who would support her and love her. As every sentence came out her heart, I could just see how I fit the role to be that special someone for her who would watch her every show flirt with her shyly as we take Koda for a walk along to beach.

We spent our time talking about the future before Iza got a call from her mother to come home. I felt like life wanted to split us up when we get to the point where we have grown close but are not able to get closer.

"I'll walk you home" I instantly offered as if I were volunteering to be a class monitor back in year 1. I couldn't feel the shame in me as I looked into her dreamy eyes.

She was laughing as if I was joking but after seeing my pitiful face as if I were a lost puppy in the rain. She gave a gentle, loving smile and nodded yes while simultaneously saying "sure, you may."

We walked, it was a silent walk, every minute my brain made me want to tell her how much I liked her, how much I wanted to be with her. In me was a ticking love bomb ready to explode.

When we got close to her house, I just stopped walking, knowing that there was no better time than the present.

"Iza, I like you, and I want to be the one you supports you through every show that you dance to I want to be the one who hugs you when you're in pain I want to give you my shoulder to cry on I want to be there for you but just not as a friend but as you love your fiancé then as you wife I want to be there for you." I spilt everything that I had kept to myself as I spoke. I came closer to her, and then I held her soft hands for what might be the last time.

Iza looks at me in complete confusion and surprise. She removes her hands from me and breathes heavily, panicking. I then realised what a big mistake I have made to confess to her, what was I thinking.

I saw a disappointed and surprised Iza. My heart felt as if it had hit a hard ground. I quickly rushed to apologise "I'm sorry I really am" before I cowardly walked away from her. I didn't even look back to see her, I was too ashamed and hurt to do anything.