"He's so stupid," Drew sighs, elbows pressing against his legs.

"I didn't think it'd last this long," I say, looking away.

It's been a week and a half since I spoke to Brendan last. I've given up on reaching out to him. I've done all I can. If he wants to talk to me about what happens, he can do it himself.

I'm not past feeling sad about it, not a single bit. But more than that, I'm angry. At Caleb. At Shelby. At Brendan, too.

He can't keep dodging my attempts to contact him. It's getting to be too much. If he isn't going to fight for it, I guess it was never meant to be. If his trust isn't here now, it was never there before.

"I've tried to talk to him. I swear I have," he sighs again.

"I know. Thank you," I say.

He looks constricted, hesitant as he looks back at me.

"What?" I ask, curious now.

"Your year isn't turning out to be the best one yet, is it?" He says finally.

"Not how I planned at all," I sigh.

"You don't... You don't think..." He looks away. "Never mind."

"You can't say something and then just say 'never mind' like it's no big deal!" I exclaim.

"I don't think I should..."

"You have to."

"This is America," he says. "I can do what I want."

"Not in my house," I raise my eyebrows.

"This is my house!" Drew says.

"Your point is?"

"Okay, well, this sounds really bad..." He says, looking away again. "I just, I don't know, don't take this the wrong way. Do you think it's a sign that it's never going to work out? You in our group? I mean, I'm not saying that... Forget I said anything. That is stupid. I'm stupid. You're my best friend. Of course you belong in the group."

"No, you're right," I say, looking back at him.

"I'm not right, I told you forget-"

"No," I shake my head. "Maybe I don't belong together with anyone in the group. Maybe I should stick with being friends."

"No, really Lili, you don't-"

"It makes sense, everything that's happened," I sigh. "Of course he hates me. It's not meant to be. He doesn't love me anymore." I pause. "Maybe he never really did. And maybe that's just how it's suppose to be."

"You and Brendan are perfect together though. Anyone with eyes can see it," he says.

"Yeah, well everyone said that about us too. That one didn't turn out well either," I shrug. "No offense to you."

"None taken," he says, though he can't meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," I say, now realizing it was stupid.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he says simply.

We sit in silence for a while, both a little uncomfortable now.

There's a knock at the door. And for some stupid reason I find my hopes getting up though I know they shouldn't. It won't be Brendan here, ready to apologize.

Drew stands up and walks to the door. He pulls it open stepping to the side so the guest can enter.

My heart stops. My breathing halts. The world slows. My mouth hangs open in shock.

Brendan stands in the doorway, eyes locked on mine. I can see so much emotion locked away behind them.

He immediately turns around, mumbling something I can't hear. He tries to push past Drew and leave. Drew stops him, locks the door, and shoves him into the room.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" I ask quietly, looking at Drew.

"Darn right I did," he says, rolling his eyes. "I'm tired of hearing both of your sob stories every day by myself. Just talk to each other and get it settled."

Brendan stares at me. "I can't do this," he says, turning around and running a hand through his hair.

I suck in a sharp breath.

"Dude," Drew says. "The girl's got herself convinced that you hate her guts and never loved her. She's going all depressed on me and I can't handle it. Tell her what you've told me!"

"I'm not going all de-"

"Lili, shut up, I'm trying to figure this out for you," Drew says, pointing at me.

"I don't give a crap what she feels like anymore," Brendan says, still staring at me coldly. I wince at the harsh tone in his voice.

"How can you even say that?" Drew asks.

"She's not denying anything, is she? If she wants me to forgive her, she's got herself in a mess. There is not a chance I ever will," he says.

I feel like crying. I won't. But that's all I want to do right now.

"Don't say that," Drew says. "Don't say those things, Brendan, you can't take them back once you have."

"Brendan," I say quietly, my first word I've spoken to him since our blow out.

He turns to me and just watches for a long time. It's as if my voice has stunned him.

"I didn't do what you think I did," I say after a moment.

His eyes search me. It feels like forever before he speaks. "How am I supposed to know that's true?"

"Because you trust me," I say, standing up from the couch.

"You're going to stand here and tell me I'm blind, or an idiot?" Brendan asks, shaking his head.

"I never said any of that," I sigh. "I just want you to hear me out. Then you can decide if you hate me or not."

"I don't hate you," he says.

"Then stop acting like it!" I exclaim.

"I'm not acting like anything," he says, crossing his arms.

"You're acting like a selfish prick. Listen to your girlfriend," Drew intervenes, looking frustrated.

"She's not my girlfriend either," Brendan says, giving him a hard glare.

I bite down in my bottom lip hard and will myself not to be bothered by his words. Tears threaten to spill onto my cheeks, but I blink them away before they have the chance.

"If that's how you want it to be, then fine," I say. "I don't want to go on loving you if it's never going to be returned to me."

"Don't pretend like you love me when you don't," Brendan says. "Don't pretend with me. I know the truth."

"The truth?" I ask. "Do you want the truth?"

He stays silent.

"The truth is," I say, "that I love you still. That I have since I told you. That I don't want to give up on us, but it's obvious that you already have."

"I never gave up on us," Brendan replies. "I was rudely awakened to the harsh reality that your loyalty isn't to me."

"And I was and still am awakening to the harsh reality that you don't have a speck of trust in me," I say.

"What happened to you guys?" Drew asks, shaking his head sadly. "This is not how this should be going. You guys were happy, not one minute earlier than the inciting incident."

"By inciting incident, do you mean when I caught her cheating on me?" Brendan asks coldly.

"I did not cheat on you!" I exclaim, frustrated.

"How do you explain what-"

"If you'd listen to me instead of drawing conclusions-"

"Then talk," he crosses his arms.

I take a deep breath. "I didn't know he was coming over. Caleb just did. He said he was sorry, that he wanted to be friends again, despite the things he held against me-"

"Seems like he wanted more than to just be friends," Brendan retorts.

"Listen to her," Drew says, annoyed.

"Don't tell me what to do, Drew," Brendan says. "You're lucky I don't walk out of this house right now."

"Fine. I don't want to deal with your crap and neither does Lili," Drew says. "Keep being the jerk you are. Go home. Figure out you're wrong. You've been wrong this whole time on your own."

"I'm not wrong," he says. "This is so frustrating. What could she possibly say to make you believe her? She could have lied to you, too!"

"I trust her," Drew says calmly. "And apparently you don't."

"And apparently she doesn't respect me," Brendan says.

"Respect you?" I ask, eyebrows raised. "Who ever said-"

"Shut up!" Brendan yells at me. "Just shut up!"

I stop where I am. I don't move a muscle. Nothing he's done has ever gone this far. I don't think I can take it anymore. His eyes show no love, no friendship, no mercy.

I take a single step back, tears filling my eyes. This time I can't control them. They fall down my cheeks. I turn away from him, not wanting him to know how much he's ruining me.

"Lili," Drew says softly. Then he walks over to me and takes me into his arms. I cry onto his shoulder, just as I did a week and a half ago. I think I feel worse now than I did then.

"I hope you're happy with yourself," Drew says to Brendan.

"I hope you're happy sacrificing our friendship to defend a lying waste of time," Brendan replies.

Is this real?

If I pinch myself will I wake up?

"Get out," Drew says. "Get out of my house."

"Gladly," Brendan says.

Before he can, there's another knock at the door. I lift my head up from Drew and wipe my eyes. Brendan walks over to it and yanks it open.

He lets out a cold laugh.

"Oh look," he says. "Your boyfriend's here, Lili."

"Caleb?" I ask, surprise and shock and anger all getting to me. "What is-"

"Is Lili here? Her mom said that-" Caleb starts.

"Oh yeah," Brendan says. "She's here alright. Good riddance, Liliana Carol. I wish you the best of life."

And he pushes past Caleb on the way out the door.

Then Caleb walks inside. Of all the times he could decide to come.

"What are you doing here?" Drew asks, voice unforgiving.

"I need to talk to you," he says to me, ignoring Drew.

"What, to rub what's happened in my face?" I ask, stepping towards him. "Because as you can see, your brilliant plan has been successful."

"No," he sighs, eyes sad. "I want to say I'm sorry."

"You said that before," I say. "Look what happened as a result."

"I'm so sorry," he says. "I really am. And if I could take it all back, I would."

I laugh a harsh laugh. "Sure you would."

"It wasn't right," Caleb says. "I just want you to know I'm so sorry."

"You are not-"

"No," he says. "I'll leave now. I just want you to hear me say that."

He walks out the door, leaving me with Drew. I can't feel anything anymore. I don't want to speak. I want to lay down on the floor and cry.

Drew seems to sense this because he pulls me back into his arms. His fingers absently move through my hair, and I do nothing. I can't believe this. I can't believe any of this.