He slowly broke their hug and she had tears cascading down her cheeks unchecked. He cupped her face in his hands and felt something struck into his heart. She looked into his heart with the barest look he had ever seen. It was as if she had striped her soul naked in front of him and she didn't hide anything from him. He used his thumbs and cleared her tears while more gushed down and her lips trembled.

"I'm so sacred, Hussain. I don't even think I'm ready for this motherhood." She looked into his eyes he was softly shaking his head as he wiped more of her tears, "I don't want to fail him."

He didn't know what he would say that will make her better. He knew it was okay for mothers to have this emotional outburst after they gave birth. Post party depression was real and he was going to be there for her throughout every phase of it. He softly kissed her forehead and smiled at her, "You did, great, Nadia. I know you're not ready for being a mother, but have you seen our baby? He's the cutest human on earth, I bet you'll feel secured when you set your eyes on him." She had stopped the tears and was staring at him, feeling all his words and his attempt on making her feel better. "And about failing him, I want you to know that you aren't into this alone. I'm with you, okay?" She softly released his hold on her face and she watched him stand up.

"Are you leaving?" She asked and he shook his head with a soft smile, he was into it all for making sure she felt better, safe and okay.

"I haven't taken him too, I wanted to hold him together with you." She watched as he walked to the crib and carefully as though he was going to take the clumsiest of all glasses in the world, he took the baby in his hand. She watched, with keen eyes as she painfully thought of Hassan and imagined him doing everything Hussain was doing now, as he brought his face to the baby's forehead and kissed him softly.

When he looked up at her, he had tears pooling his eyes and she knew they were thinking of the same thing. He walked toward her walking his each step until she shifted on the bed and he sat beside her.

"Here, this is my treasure, make sure you hold him with care." She chuckled at how he seemed so careful as if the doctor had told tagged the baby 'fragile'.

She shook her head as she leaned in to take a look of his face, "I'll take a look of him from your hand." Hussain watched the way she smiled when she held the baby's hand and softly kissed the tip of his nose. "He's so cute." She looked up at him with a grin and he sighed out of relief. He knew seeing the baby will make her feel better.

"You should take him, then." He tried to hand him to her yet again but she shook her head.

She had a sad look when she sat back and smiled at him. "He made me promise that he'll be the first person to hold our baby and he'll say the adzhan while I watch them." Her tears rolled down when their eyes met and she smiled again, motioning at the baby still in his hold. "I guess it's your turn now. You might not be him, but I'll imagine you as him to soothe my aching heart."

Hussain wanted to speak but he knew if he opened his mouth he'd cry but his strength was something she needed now and he'd do anything to give it to her. He'd have to cry at the confine of his room later. He lifted the baby's ear to his mouth and with their eyes entangled into a stare they both didn't know its meaning, Hussain recited the adhzan and named the baby into its ear. But no matter how he wanted to be strong for her, he shed a few tears after naming the baby.

When he was done she wiped her tears and painfully smiled, "We've tried doing this times I couldn't even count and you look exactly the way he did. Just that he was so happy and you look sad now." She chuckled at the pained expression on his face.

"We should be happy today, don't you think?" He nodded his head and when he tried to hand the baby to her, she closed her eyes and felt how he carefully placed him on her outstretched hands that she had to surge in a breath she didn't know she was holding. She felt the love, the affection and whatever feeling a mother was supposed to feel for her child surging through her heart in full force.

She looked up at Hussain that was earnestly staring at her, "What's his name?" She asked.

"Hassan," they uttered at the same time and chuckled. "He wanted to give him your name but I guess it was destined for him to be named after him, then."

"I wanted to name my first child with his name, so here I am fulfilling my long term wish." She loved it so much whenever he referred to this child as his and it was the most soothing thing to hear when you just thought your child will grow up fatherless. The way Hussain was claiming the fatherhood of this child, even Hassan wouldn't boast about it.

She was carried away in he train of thoughts when she heard his voice; now cheerful and it felt as though he was speaking to the baby. "Okay Baby H, you were born today; 25th August 2019 and we're still at the hospital. Ammi just woke up from her sleep, she's so tired from pushing you out..." From the baby's face, he lifted the camera to her tired face and she looked askance at him as if he had gone crazy with laughter dancing in her eyes.

"Twin!" She dared not say his name even though this time, she didn't get carried away. She said it that way because she had promised him not to show or tell the child that he was not his father. "My face is not camera fit, please." She whined and he sat beside them on the bed, turning the camera to face them.

"Hey, Ammi. Can we get a few words, please?" He ignored what she had said about not being camera fit and no matter how Nadia wanted to ignore him he sounded so cute and lovely that she had to chuckle before she spoke.

"Baby H, I'm so happy that I've finally pushed you out. And you turn out to be soo cute and tiny that I want to cry at how little you are. You see, Ammi is so tired and sleepy but I promise to make a proper video for you when I'm discharged, okay? Love you a bunch, Baby H." She expected him to speak, but instead, Hussain landed a lovely peck on her cheek that her heart had threaten to burst out of her socket.

"We love you a bunch, Baby H." He smiled at the camera and ended the video. She was still staring at him with her mouth slightly agape.

"He would certainly ask why I didn't kiss you thank you when he's grown up. To avoid us answering that question, I did that since I can't do it." He awkwardly stood up with a shy smile on his lips, "I can't kiss you, I mean."

"Twin!" She whined and he threw his head back and laughed just when Sohila turned the doorknob and entered. They exchanged knowing looks with Sohila and she grinned at him before she rushed to the bed.

"Aunt Nadia! Ya Allah! What's his name?" She turned to both of them. She was aware of the unusual smiles on their faces and she loved to see it.

"Hassan!" The three of them said at the same time and Sohila carefully collected him from Nadia's hands with a loving smile. "Come to your god mother, Baby H." How did their brains worked the same? She had never heard anyone calling him that but she had already assumed that he would be could Baby H.

While Sohila took numerous pictures of Baby H, Nadia lifted her eyes up to Hussain for she could feel his unwavering gaze on her and he smiled at her. "I'll go back home and bring breakfast, is there something I can come with?"

She thought for a moment, "My clothes, I hate these hospital clothes. But they're all in my closet."

"Which ones do you want?" He asked and no matter how much she wanted to force her mind to believe it was Hussain she was talking to, she could hardly do that. It felt as though she was speaking to Hassan and she couldn't stop herself from grinning widely.

"The gowns please, they're on the top right side. You'll see a maroon..." He softly cut her off with a soft look in his eyes.

"I know the ones that have always looked good on you. I'll be back in some minutes." And he was out of the room in the blink of an eye. Nadia couldn't tear her eyes off the door as a small smile graced her lips. She didn't like that was obviously happening between them. She knew it was only because they both were grieving and could only get peace and comfort from each other. But it would pass. She even had to go back home in a week's time.

•

Hussain had never felt so tired his entire life like these two days they had spent in the hospital, and when the doctor told them they will discharge her, he hadn't been happier. The rush of their relatives was something he didn't expect and what tired him even more. He didn't even have time to see Baby H or the mother, the room was always bustling with their relatives and he would be forced to smile and greet them.

He was so thankful when none of them had offered to stay in the house before the naming ceremony. He had even made it clear to Hajia that they weren't going to do any naming ceremony but that wasn't useful, she had told him. Their relatives must come, they better prepare. Hajia had even said something about Nadia's relatives coming over and they will be back together with her.

That had weighed his heart down and he was no more as excited as he was about the baby anymore. Wasn't it because of him that she had to go back home? If she hadn't given birth yet, she would've still stayed with them.

He just came out of the shower and after getting ready for the night, he heard a knock on his door. Hajia walked in and he smiled lovingly at her, "This is the first time you've come to my room since his demise, Hajia." She found a spot on the sofa and sat down, but she had a heavy look on her face, as if she had done something she was feeling extremely guilty about.

"What is it, Hajia? You look bothered." He sat down beside her on the sofa and it reminded him of few days ago how Sohila sat on the same spot and asked him the most difficult question he'd ever have to answer in his life.

Hajia spent over an hour in his room and before she left, their cheeks were both a mess and Hussain wished there was a way to turn back the hands of time. It was so difficult for him to digest or even accept. She begged, cried and even threatened him but he wasn't going to do what she wanted. He knew it was practically too late but then he would find a way. He had to find a way. And that way, he couldn't sleep an inch, it was just too pain and everything came back fresh in his mind.

Yo Yo😩

This love is too much for my heart wo😩🥰