Misery Loves Company

By: theinkslingerr

Track 24: The Fog

The sudden guilt was sharp, almost taking my breath away. "Y-you guys dated?"

"Yeah, for a while but...you know how the lifestyle is. It hit Dom kind of hard." Ji-Hyun was still looking at me, but her eyes were blank like she was seeing something else. "There were times he'd be on tour, borrow someone's car and drive all night just to see me for ten minutes, then drive back to do a show. He kept that up for six days once before passing out from exhaustion. Other times, there'd be zero contact, and I'd call Jae in a panic only to find out Dom had barely made it out of bed that week..."

I hadn't known Dom for long, but none of it sounded far-fetched. Anybody with eyes could see he was expressive and impulsive. I'd even caught a shadow of his thoughtful side on our date. The problem was figuring out how and when to untangle his moods and actions from his bipolar disorder. 

A grim smile appeared on Ji-Hyun's face. "When I saw him posting all those pics on Instagram begging fans to vote for him, the level of dedication was...familiar. It made me wonder if he was manic and how long it'd take for him to crash."

I thought back to Dom's lack of interest at the beginning of our date. He'd seemed so out of it, which confused me considering how hard he'd tried to win. If Dom had been coming down from one of his manic phases, then his strange behavior now made sense.

"It just sucks because...I think us breaking up put a strain on the band. Jae and Dom used to be so close, but now all they do is argue."

I nodded and tried to think of something to say to make Ji-Hyun feel better, but nothing came to mind. Her suspicions were valid.

"Whoa...word vomit! Sorry!" She laughed, suddenly embarrassed. "Didn't mean to unload on you. I know I talk a lot, but I'm not usually this bad."

"Oh. Uh, it's OK."

"Is it? Because Jae would really kill me if any of this ended up on TMZ's website."

"I wouldn't do that!"

Ji-Hyun studied me for a second then grinned. "Yeah, probably not. From the way Rocco and Eli talk, I can tell they respect you."

That was surprising. I didn't think they'd actually talk to people about me. I figured I'd be the least interesting part of their lives.

"But, god," she continued. "Why do I feel like Chris Pine's character in Wonder Woman when they put the magic lasso around him? You're so easy to talk to! It's scary!"

No one had ever accused me of having a magic lasso/truth serum effect on them before. I'd barely said anything! Maybe this was just stuff she'd had on her mind for a long time and I was a convenient ear. "Thanks, I guess...?"

"OK, we're gonna start letting people in." A gangly roadie informed us from the stage. Ji-Hyun nodded and ten minutes later fans started trailing in, talking animatedly about previous Blue Vendetta concerts. A few guys brought up Boston, and it struck me that this would be the boys' first show since that disastrous night.

I really hoped they'd be OK.

I glanced from Ji-Hyun's profile to the stage, and all around me. There was a buzz in the air, one I knew would turn into a deafening roar once Rocco, Eli, Jae, and Dom got on stage. I drank in the excitement, hoping to flush out the nerves I felt over being at my first concert without Enid.

Ji-Hyun bumped my shoulder, a move that reminded me of Rocco. "Breathe, Misery. There's nothing but good music and communal sweat up ahead!"

~~~

First it was pitch black.

Then in a burst of blue light Jae, Rocco, Eli, and Dom took the stage with "On the Lam," a hard, fast-paced song about escaping the monotony of everyday life. The crowd went wild, instantly head-banging and moshing to the unyielding melody. With hundreds of sweaty bodies bearing down on me, and the music so loud I could feel it in my chest- I went wild too, screaming until my throat burned.

This kind of sensory overload was why I loved concerts. They didn't give me a chance to over-think. I was too busy trying not to get hit in the face with an elbow or trampled on. Thoughts of milk-filled condoms, being here sans Enid, and the awkwardness of kissing another girl's ex all took a backseat to the music.

I saw a couple of people recognize me and take pics, but the majority seemed to be immersed in the show, so I followed their lead. It felt good to let loose after a week and a half of panic attacks, screaming, and crying.

Ji-Hyun was right next to me, laughing and shrieking like it wasn't her little brother and his friends up on stage. As a newly minted Blue Vendetta fan, I was impressed with Jae's voice live. It was extremely versatile; rich and smooth one second, then low and guttural the next. I sang along when I knew the words, entranced by his magnetic stage presence. I'd watched quite a few Blue Vendetta concert videos on YouTube and came to the conclusion that Jae wasn't the type of singer that jumped around and went berserk. He head-banged and kind of...prowled across the stage like a big cat. Not of the household variety, more like a panther or leopard you'd observe in the wild. One that looked at you and let you know you were lucky to be in its space.

Rocco was the one all over the stage. It was as if his energy couldn't be contained in one area for more than a few seconds. He didn't have a mic, but he knew all the lyrics and took obvious pleasure in keeping the audience entertained. At one point he hopped on a giant speaker and back-flipped off before transitioning into a complicated guitar solo. The look on his face was radiant.

This was what he was meant to do. This was where he belonged.

After Rocco's solo, I think he glanced at me and winked, but I wasn't 100% sure. There were lots of pretty girls in the crowd.

Eli grooved in one spot, singing into a second mic as backing vocals for Jae. His slightly deeper voice supported Jae's, much like Sweet Geraldine supported the other instruments. His eyes were closed, a content smile on his face.

Dom kept everyone on beat, grimacing when he fumbled during their second song, The Fog. He looked tired, but triumphant as he regained momentum, coming down on his drum kit with renewed purpose.

Ji-Hyun grabbed me and shouted in my ear, "The only song Dom's ever written, and it guts me every time!"

The Fog started off slow and dream-like, then exploded into this beautiful nightmare of raw sound. Jae howled, Rocco's melody grew frantic, Eli's bassline plunged, and underneath it all, Dom's thrashing rattled the Earth. It was the kind of song that ripped you out of your skin and put you back in it a little different than before.

I hadn't known Dom was behind such a beautiful song, but now that I did, the lyrics took on a whole new meaning:

"Can't see what's in front

Can't see what's behind

This grayscale fog won't leave my eyes

Trapped in limbo,

between the living and the dead

Won't someone wake me up,

and get me out of my head?"

I'd initially guessed The Fog was about being trapped in a lucid dream or hallucination, but I realized it could easily be about living life under the veil of mental illness.

When the song ended it was to an applause that rivaled thunderstorms. A sweaty, but grinning Jae swept away black bangs, and yelled, "Thanks for coming out, guys!"

The crowd screamed its reply and people began tossing everything from bras to snack foods on stage. "We had to beg to play here a few years ago. Literally, beg." Jae ruffled the back of his shaggy hair in a surprisingly endearing gesture. "It was right after we recorded the Basement Tracks EP and we were hustling hard, but no one was taking us seriously."

"No one," Rocco said into Jae's mic.

Everybody laughed, a couple cries of injustice at the treatment of the boys' younger selves rising above the noise.

"But the Barrel gave us a chance-"

"Post-begging," Dom interjected.

"-and that's more than we can say for anyone else, so thank you. It's good to be back."

"OK, who's ready to hear an unreleased track?" Rocco shouted, pumping up the crowd.

"After you put a baby in me!" A girl shrieked.

"Don't think I'm quite ready for a Billie Jean situation," he replied with half a smile and a shrug. Eli shot him a loaded look, and Rocco turned around to take a sip from his water bottle.

Ji-Hyun giggled and shook her head. "I swear he's got a response for everything."

As a constant victim of Rocco's quick wit, I nodded in agreement, unable to stop the small grin forming on my lips.

"He's a sweetie though," she added fondly.

I'd been a victim of that too.

Ji-Hyun peeked behind us, dark eyes shrewd. She'd been doing that throughout both songs, but I didn't think anything of it. "Were you meeting up with anyone here?"

"No..." The only person I went to concerts with was Enid, and I'd decided to experience this without her.

"Because that hot ginger's been staring at you since the show started."

~~~

Author's notes: DUN DUN DUN! Wonder who that is? And how they'll change Miz's pop-up concert experience? >.>

So, like...I was gonna post a picture of Jae or Rocco at the end of this chapter, but I found a pic of the guy I use for Dom that completely derailed my plans >.<

...and I just HAD to make it into a cover haha!

Quite a bit of this chapter's about him anyway, so I guess it's not totally random.

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