Dom opens the door with a flourish. "Welcome," she says, her smile showing a lot of teeth. "We're so happy you could make it." She somehow found time to get a new suit in the six hours since she thought of this dinner party. The pinstripes are fiendishly sexy, which unfortunately is not helping Minion's anxiety over having a known hero stepping into their front hall and looking around curiously.

Wynter-- No, not Wynter. White Squall. He can't let his guard down, even if right now she just looks like any other scrawny teen girl who's depressed about her missing pet. Despite her earlier vocal objections to this event, Shan bites her lip to hide a smile as she waves a shy hello. She is absolutely smitten. For a moment Minion almost feels bad for what he's planning, but this has to be stopped. Even if it hurts her.

Minion takes the coats from their guests: worn denim jacket covered in enamel pins from White Squall and long tan duster with a frayed hem from her guardian.

"Valery," the man says, holding out his hand.

Minion grips his palm firmly. "Min. Good to meet you."

They size each other up. Valery's shirt is just a little too tight across his broad shoulders, as though he's recently started going to the gym more often. His thick blond hair is shot through with grey, and rudely, this only enhances his good looks. Minion would have taken grey over balding any day.

They drop hands. Minion reminds himself that Valery could be just as dangerous as White Squall. An important reminder, because Valery is tall, too, his tired-but-piercing eyes level with Dom's, and damn this is one fine-looking man. Which is definitely a very inappropriate thing to think about the guardian of his daughter's hero girlfriend, even if Dom clearly agrees. She's got that calculating look in her eyes.

"What can I get you to drink?" she asks, ushering the guests down the hall and under the arch into the parlor.

As fast as he can, Minion rifles through every pocket of both coats. In White Squall's he finds lint, a pack of Mintilicious Mint gum, and her wallet, which contains only her school ID and ten dollars in cash. Valery's pockets are completely empty. He lets out a frustrated sigh. Most heroes are stupid, their self-righteousness blinding them to common sense. Of course Ishana had to choose the one hero smart enough to not leave evidence of their secret identity lying around. He just wants a mask forgotten in a pocket. Maybe a business card with WHITE SQUALL in big, bold letters. Something subtle. Is that too much to ask?

He pulls two tiny, sticky balls out of his front pocket and tucks one inside the left pocket of each coat, wedging them firmly into the corner of the seam. He doesn't expect he'll get a chance to set the explosives off himself, but if he has to let a hero into his home then he's not going to waste the chance to set them up for some very unpleasant accidents. Satisfied the tiny balls of potential death and dismemberment are glued tightly to the insides of the pockets, he hurries down the hall.

"There you are, doll," Dom says, and hands him a glass of red wine from the tray in her hand.

"Had to make a pit stop." Minion forces a laugh, then takes a sip of wine to shut himself up.

Dom hands champagne flutes of sparkling grapefruit juice to the girls, who drift over to the window bench. They sit close together and talk in low voices, pretending the adults don't exist.

Valery looks at the carved stonework around the fireplace and the five-foot-tall ceramic vases that once belonged to a pharaoh before perching gingerly on one of the restored vintage chairs. "You have a lovely home," he says politely, passing his wine glass from one hand to the other without taking a sip. "Very... opulent. What line of work are you in again?"

"I'm an entrepreneur," Dom says breezily, claiming the seat opposite him with her back intimidatingly straight. "And Min is a contractor."

"Ah. And what sort of... business do you have?"

"Oh, it's mostly financial and all very complicated. I don't want to bore you with details." She smiles blindingly. "And you?"

Valery looks unsatisfied but doesn't push further. "I'm a reporter. In Tiny Town I wrote about garden shows and missing pets, but here I'm working the villain beat."

Dom widens her eyes. "That must be absolutely fascinating."

"If you're intrigued by the dark side of humanity, I suppose." Valery laughs awkwardly and finally takes a swallow of wine.

"So." Dom leans forward in her seat, palms flat on her knees, her gaze focused like a laser on Valery. "You're from Tiny Town? How are you liking Big City?"

"Finally starting to settle in, I think. Well, before this dognapping business." Valery flashes his perfectly square teeth in a polite smile. "Wynter grew up there, so it's been an adjustment. Spending time with Ishana has been good for her."

Minion pulls his gaze away from the girls, who are mostly gazing fondly into each other's eyes. He doesn't want Valery to think he's a creep.

Dom sits back and puts one claw-like fingernail against her lips thoughtfully. "They do seem to get along, don't they?"

"I've been glad to see her looking happy again." Valery's smile softens into something genuine as he follows Dom's gaze. "She hasn't been the same since the accident. Losing your mother does that to a kid."

Dom's sympathetic look is far more believable than Minion's. "What happened?"

Tears spring into Valery's eyes. He doesn't dash them away, just lets them glisten there like gooey little beads of sentimentality to make everyone else uncomfortable. "A tragic accident. Their car was struck by a truck transporting genetically modified chickens. It was a miracle Wynter survived."

Minion turns his snort of laughter into a sneeze.

"Bless you," Valery says.

Genetically modified chickens! Minion can't think of a more ridiculous way to acquire a transcendent talent. Well, he probably could think of something a little stupider, but an explosive encounter with experimental egg-laying birds is right up there at the top.

"A fowl way to go," he says with a straight face. Dom gives him a look, but the pun seems to have flown right over Valery's head.

"Indeed." Valery expels a dramatic sigh. "I only hope to live up to my sister's legacy by being an excellent parent to Wynter."

So White Squall is Valery's niece. If he hasn't been her guardian for very long, maybe he doesn't know about her heroic proclivities yet. Minion has never been an optimist, though. Only cynics survive in the henching business.

After some convincingly comforting words, Dom says, "Dinner is ready."

"It smells great," Valery murmurs, peering at her over the rim of his wine glass.

"I'm blessed to be married to an excellent chef," Dom says, that wicked twinkle in her eyes that never fails to make Minion feel exceptionally lucky to be her husband. "Shall we eat?"

As the guests and Ishana proceed into the dining room, Minion grabs Dom by the arm. He whispers in her ear, "Tell me you did do background checks. Does the Tiny Town story check out?"

Dom shakes her head, looking utterly calm. "Don't worry, doll. I've got everything under control."

Reluctantly, he lets her lead the way into the dining room.

The girls have sat down, but Valery studies the paintings on the walls, then trails his hand along the wavy, gilt-lined edge of the dining table. "Very beautiful," he says in an extremely careful tone.

Dom still looks unworried, but Minion doesn't like how fascinated Valery is with all their questionably-acquired goods. At the time of their not-strictly-legal procurements, pictures were published of the pinched pretties as part of police plans to pursue the purloiners and repossess the prizes. Anyone could have seen them. But that was years ago. It's unlikely someone from Tiny Town would have seen the articles and remembered clearly enough to recognize the Mayor's misappropriated table.

But Valery stares awfully hard at the gold cutlery as he sits down, and Minion is definitely getting a little nervous. He did say he works the villain beat. Maybe he saw something during his research?

Minion sits next to Valery, across from the girls, and Dom enthrones herself at the head of the table. Each of them reaches for the nearest dish of food.

"Hey, Ishana's dad, this looks great," White Squall says as she scoops herself a huge plate, while Valery eyes the flamboyant pearl lid of the bowl he grabbed.. She isn't nearly as cautious as her guardian. Maybe she isn't such a good hero after all.

Swirling her wine glass thoughtfully, Dom watches them all serve their food with a benevolent look on her face. "So I'm curious about this missing dog of yours."

White Squall shakes her head. "Eddie isn't missing. He was dognapped."

"Are you sure?" Minion asks, raising his eyebrows. "He didn't just run away?"

"Quite sure," Valery says coolly. "We had a break-in."

"Break-in?" Minion tries to look concerned rather than guilty. He doesn't think it works very well, because Valery gives him a strange look. He adds unconvincingly, "How terrible."

"Yes, it is terrible. Odd, too. As far as we can tell, nothing was taken except the dog."

"Do you have any idea who it was?"

"Dad," Ishana groans, so he's probably not doing a very good job of looking only mildly curious rather than like he'd be performing a full interrogation if he could get away with it.

Valery hesitates, staring down into his wine. That hesitation is very concerning to Minion.

White Squall says, "No. No leads yet."

"No suspects?" Dom asks, and of course, she nails that off-hand, concerned-but-just-a-normal-amount tone. "No one you can think of who would want to steal your dog? You don't have any... enemies?"

White Squall opens her mouth, but before she can say anything Valery laughs very loudly. Minion winces and sticks a finger in his ear. Valery stops laughing as abruptly as he started. They all stare at him.

"Of course we don't have enemies," Valery scoffs. "We're as normal as they come. Completely, absolutely, totally normal. People like us don't have enemies."

There's a super awkward silence. Dom and Minion exchange a glance. Ishana looks down at her plate, biting her lip. White Squall still stares at Valery, mouth hanging open.

"Well, that's a real tragedy. I hope you find him soon," Dom says. Spreading her hands flat on the tablecloth, she turns the full weight of her gaze on Ishana's girlfriend, who looks back at her. "Wynter, why don't you tell us how you met Ishana?"

Brow clearing, White Squall straightens and nods eagerly. "We met in computer science class. Shan was having some trouble with an assignment and she asked me for help. I was new but I'm really good and I was already the best in the class so--"

"You're not best," Ishana teases, poking her in the arm.

"Only because I started halfway through the year," White Squall protests, grinning in return. "But I picked up the material really quickly. Probably because I was in this junior coders after-school program back home in Tiny Town, and--"

"What a perfectly adorable story," Dom says.

Minion thinks it might not be the best idea for Dom to be using her talent so openly, but he's not mad about it because he had forgotten all about the computer science teacher and the stolen computery shit until White Squall started babbling about it. Enough equipment to run a criminal operation, the teacher said. Or enough to outfit a whole hero's lair. It all makes sense. But what is she doing with all of that equipment?

Luckily the effect of Dom's talent tends to linger.

"I am really good at it, though. My dream is to use my skill at coding to bring down every villain just like that," White Squall says, snapping her fingers. Only she can't really snap, so her fingers just sort of whiff past each other. Frowning, she tries again and gets an even more pathetic little skff.

"Wynter," Valery says, with a nervous little laugh, his eyes darting between Minion and Dom. "Your project isn't ready to be talked about publicly yet, remember?"

White Squall nods and drops her gaze. "Right. Sorry."

"Oh, but I would love to hear about it." Dom stares at White Squall, but she can't catch her eye.

"Yeah," Ishana says, one eyebrow raised with curiosity as she looks at her girlfriend. "I would, too. Is this why you asked for my help with that... thing?"

"Well, okay, it's super cool actually! See, I invented--"

Very deliberately, Valery tips over the rice bowl, sending tiny little grains of rice flying everywhere. A big glob smacks White Squall in the face. She splutters and wipes it away. Ishana stares at him, nonplussed.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry," Valery says, feigning chagrin as though they hadn't all seen him do it intentionally. Pushing to his feet with a clatter, he begins to noisily scoop spilt rice into one of the empty serving dishes. "Please, Dom, let me clean it up."

Dom blinks at him, then picks rice out of her expensive mink eyelashes, her lips a thin line. "Please do."

Wondering what, exactly, Valery's theatrics prevented White Squall from revealing, Minion helps him tidy up the rice, along with the serving dishes, and follows him into the kitchen.

"Your wife sure knows how to get people talking, doesn't she?" Valery says with a forced laugh as he places his armload of priceless dinnerware extremely carefully by the sink.

"She's just got a way with people," Minion says, eyeing Valery sideways as he dumps his own load of dishes.

As they turn to make their way back into the dining room, Valery's gaze snags on the jade Buddha in the corner, the one Dom acquired from the Fancy Stolen Artifacts Museum on her last job before her deal with Valiant Virgin. His back goes ramrod straight and he comes to a dead stop. The hairs on the back of Minion's neck stand on end.

"What a lovely statue," Valery says slowly.

"You can find some cool things at auctions," Minion says, trying to copy Dom's breezy laugh but producing only a highly suspicious chuckle.

Valery looks at him, then back at the Buddha. Nervous little beads of perspiration pop out on his forehead and sparkle in the evening sunlight spilling through the window.

"Well, would you look at the time," Valery says in a slightly shrill voice, not even bothering to fake a glance at his watch or phone. "How did it get so late? I'm terribly sorry, but I think we need to go. Immediately."

Valery speed-walks back into the dining room, elbows flapping. For a moment Minion considers tackling him to the custom tile floor, but decides that would upset Ishana too much. Instead, he reaches for the tiny communicator pinned inside his collar.

At the same time... At the top of the long driveway, in the soft shadows of twilight.

Having thoroughly combed through Valery's car without finding anything of interest, Minion Two looks around carefully before squatting down beside the dusty back tires. From his pocket, he produces a tiny silver device. He sets it carefully inside the wheel well and presses a button on its surface. Miniscule metal hooks spring out, digging into the rusty metal of the car. He wiggles it a little, but the device is stuck solid and doesn't move. Satisfied, he presses to his feet and dusts off his hands. It's all but invisible to any but the most careful searchers.

His earpiece crackles. Minion One's voice comes in low. "Hope you got that tracking device planted because our date is about to cut out halfway through dinner."

Minion Two's head snaps up and he stares at the door. "Now?"

"Now. Get your ass out of sight."

He throws himself into the sculpted rose bushes beside the driveway, thorns snagging his coveralls as he flattens himself beneath the foliage. The front door doesn't creak because somebody actually bothers to maintain this part of the house, but within moments he hears voices approaching quickly.

"Why are you acting like this? No, let go of me! Shan and I were going to play some video games after dinner! What is wrong with you?"

"Listen to me very carefully, Wynter." The man's voice becomes a hiss. "There is something very wrong here. This house is full of stolen goods."

"Stolen?"

"Either Ishana's parents have had tragically bad luck at auctions, or they're villains. So we need to get out of here, now, okay?"

"Villains?" White Squall laughs. "No way. Ishana is-- Ow!"

Minion Two peers out cautiously from between two very large pink roses to see White Squall shaking out her left hand.

"Something shocked me. What the--where did this come from?" She frowns at a tiny round hole burnt through the front of her jacket. A wisp of smoke twists up from the singed denim and vanishes into the evening haze.

"Wow, nice job, Three," Minion Two whispers to himself. "Blow her head off, you said. Pathetic."

"Are you alright?" Valery asks, staring suspiciously at the burn as they trot down the driveway.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Look, Ishana is a good person. There's no way her parents are villains."

"Well, if I'm wrong, I'm sorry. But we can't take that risk. Not right now. Until you're licensed, it's too dangerous to be putting you anywhere near a situation we haven't fully scoped out with your app, okay?"

With a loud sigh and an eye roll that rivals even one of Ishana's, she follows her guardian to the car. Before she gets in, she looks up at the house. Then they slam the doors and take off with a squeal of tires.

With a grunt and a tearing of fabric that is really quite upsetting because they're getting desperately low on coveralls now, Minion Two drags himself free of the rose bushes. Dusting his elbows off, he stares at the wrought-iron gate as it slowly swings shut behind them.

"Until she's licensed?" he repeats, slowly. Then, with dawning horror, "Her app?"