Bruin

It's early Wednesday morning. I haven't seen Austin for what feels like years when in reality it's only been a day since he left my house in the middle of the night. Letting him make that trek, letting him go at all had been difficult but I understood he needed his time alone to think. I had, after all, dumped a massive surprise on him.

I really hope he chooses to give me this one more chance to make things right and to make him realise how much I already adore him. It shouldn't be possible for me to already feel this connected to him, nobody told me it was going to be quite this difficult. Of course, like the child I was, I always dreamed of meeting my mate and immediately being with them. It never occured to me that my mate could be completely oblivious to my existence and what comes with it.

I was astounded by how much it hurt what he said Sunday when he denied knowing me. I'm not quite sure what the deal was with the owl that stood in our path confidently but I most definitely understood that the relationship between Austin and that guy is anything but peachy. I was seriously concerned with the change I saw in Austin when the owl started talking. And yes, owl, I could sense the bird within him and knew he was a shapeshifter as soon as I smelt him. Despite him being so much smaller than me, either form considered, he made me uneasy because of his influence over my mate. Austin was laughing at the tale of me getting lost in the woods for the umpteenth time but when that man spoke I nearly got whiplash, watching Austin turn into a shell of the man I knew him to be.

I wanted so badly to just take that bird and pummel him when he called Austin a freak but I didn't want to distress my mate any more so I followed him only to be kicked out onto the curb. That hurt as well, it really did. The beast inside was clawing to go back to him but I understood he didn't want me there so I left. Austin looked so small and defeated when I left him standing at his door. I wanted to just grab him and never let go, keep him in my embrace where he wouldn't be touched by the cruelty of the world around us.

Waking up on Monday morning was horrible, knowing my own mate had thrown me out. I kept pacing back and forth, debating whether or not I should go to him and ask what that was all about. I decided to give him his space and roamed around the forest instead. The sun didn't feel as warm on my pelt as it usually did, nor did the leaves smell as crisp and exciting as they usually do. Everything was just... dull, boring, lifeless. Imagine my surprise then when I'm on my way home and suddenly hear a thump in the bushes and discover it's Austin. He had fainted and I figured he had seen me shift, change from beast to man.

Obviously I didn't just leave him to lay in the bushes, I took him home with me and well, things escalated. Not in the direction I was hoping they would, though. At least he now knows about me which is sort of a relief, I don't have to keep hiding it. At the same time, I wish he didn't discover me so soon so that we could've developed our relationship a little further before I dropped that bombshell on him. That was more or less the original plan but, well, it blew up in my face.

I'm on my way to Austin's place to see if he has already reached a decision. The trip doesn't take long and soon I'm standing behind his house. The curtains are drawn which most likely means he's awake. Remembering the way he greeted me on Sunday, dressed in only his hoodie with either very short shorts or boxers underneath. The endearing way he blushed as he realised it. Sitting next to him as he ate his breakfast felt so domestic and I loved it, dreaming of all the mornings to come where we would be sitting next to each other in much the same way, dressed only in our sleepwear.

I cross his backyard but something in front of his house bothers me. For a few moments I try to figure out what it is that's bothering me when suddenly I realise. It's the scent floating around here. Very faint but I still feel it, Austin's blood. I doubt he managed to stab himself with his keys so I'm instantly on high alert. There's another scent, even fainter than Austin's like someone has tried to mask it. It's the irritating scent of that owl we met. It would be funny how his scent alone makes my best restless if not for the fact that it's here when I can also smell my mate's blood.

Knocking on Austin's front door, I wait there for at least ten minutes, my knocking quickly growing in volume. I call his name a few times and then take a quick look around the house, peeking into every window. There's no sign of him, not even in his bedroom where the bed is neatly made. Everything is in place, no signs of a scuffle. I panic and try to remember if he ever told me about a place he goes to when he wants to think or something along those lines, nothing comes to mind. The only place he briefly mentioned was the library he works at.

I run through the streets, looking for that bloody building that looks just like the rest of the houses in this town. After some twenty minutes, I finally find it and burst in through the old wooden doors. They creak and groan in protest but I'm too far gone to care about that at this point. Finding my mate and making sure he's alright is the only thing on my mind.

A grouchy old man comes from behind a shelf, no doubt to scold me for just crashing in like this. "Where's Austin?" I rush out before he gets to say anything and he looks at me with his old, cold eyes. "Indeed, that is what I would like to know as well. He wasn't here yesterday to sort through the new books." Yesterday?

This man will be of no help to me, I decide and turn around, exiting the building as brashly as I entered it. I have no idea where to look for him now. He was most likely intercepted by that creepy bird when he got home last night. I knew I should've followed him, made sure he made it home safely, even if at a distance. Why didn't you then?

I shift uneasily in my spot in front of the library and look around the street and houses surrounding it. Where do I go from here? The scent at his place was too faint to track it, it's a miracle it even stayed there that long. No places in the woods, no people he spoke fondly of, nothing. I have no leads. Leads... The police! Bruin how the hell are you so dense?

I march towards the centre of town with long strides, hoping the station will be there or rather that there even is a station in this small community. I reach what looks like a central square of this town and lo and behold, there is a police station staring right at me from across the small paved square.

For some reason they have a bell that jingles above the door when I enter, I thought only cafes or boutiques or whatever had them. A young lady looks up from her monitor at what I take is the 'receptionist' desk. I rush towards the desk and explain to her as quickly and clearly as I can that a person, Austin Willows, has gone missing and for someone to please help me look for him. The small lady asks me questions like "When did you last see him?", "Are you sure he is missing?", "Does he have any family?" and so on and I try my hardest to be patient as she asks and asks. I just need someone to help me look for him and now I'm standing here, trying to explain to this lady that he is indeed missing and yes, I'm sure and no, I don't know any other place he could've gone to. My patience is very quickly being ripped apart as she says that they'll see what they can do. What the hell does she mean "we'll see what we can do"? You have to organise a search party and help me look for him, that's what you can do! I want to shout it in her face but I know at least that much that they will stick me into a cell for harassment or something of the sort and there I will be of no help to Austin.

I reign my beast in as the woman looks at me and calls to a coworker of hers. This is going to take a horrendously long time, I think to myself as the woman hands me some papers to make a missing person report. Didn't I just finish telling her he's missing?

***

It's been a day and a half since I last saw Austin. I'm going mad with worry and anger. I know that bird has something to do with Austin going missing and I've told the policemen as much but they say they can't just go and arrest somebody because I 'just know' that somebody is involved.

We went to his house, the bird whose name is apparently Justin Moore, and I will never forget that smirk he looked at me with. He knew that I knew but he also knew I couldn't do anything about it because I can't very well tell them that I'm a shapeshifter and that I smelt Justin's scent at Austin's house. I'm stuck. I want to search through his house, leave no pillow unturned but the policemen are already wishing him a good day. "We can't search his house without a warrant," is what they tell me as we make our way back to the station. I nod calmly though on the inside I'm on a rampage. The beast is chuffing and roaring nonstop, making it difficult to concentrate on anything but the gaping hole that missing Austin has created. Some moments it feels like my chest is caving in on itself and the hole is really a black hole, pulling relentlessly on the edges and soon, everything will collapse into it.

***

Getting a warrant to search through that bird's nest takes the rest of the day and it's late evening, almost night when we go knocking on his door again. A very faint 'thud' sounds from somewhere inside the house, so faint I doubt the detectives caught it. Moments later, Justin is at the door, smoothing down his shirt as he breathes deeply. I catch the side look the officers give each other as Justin focuses his beady brown eyes on mine. There's anger in those eyes that he's trying to hide. Not fast enough, you creepy bird.

I focus long enough to catch a faint whiff of Austin's scent on him. Caught you now, you bastard. That's all it takes for me to absolutely lose it and I push past him as he cries his outrage. I stomp through the living room, not giving a damn about the muddy footprints I'm leaving behind. I turn left into the kitchen and get that faint scent again. I doubt he's stuffed into one of these cupboards though. So where...? My thought process gets cut off by a small creak. I still, hoping to hear it again. I stand there for a few moments before I move again. As I take a step, I realise that the floor under me is sinking slightly as if... a trapdoor is under me.

I push the carpet covering the floor aside and see a rectangular plate with a raised edge. There's a tiny slip of metal sitting between the door's edge and the rest of the floor and I pull it, making the locking mechanism release and the trapdoor opens. I swing it all the way open and peer into the darkness below where I can quite clearly smell Austin's presence. Jumping down into the hole, my eyes take a few moments to adjust to the change in lighting. I see him, tied to a pipe in one corner of the room, a rag pressed between his lips. He squints at me, trying to make sense of who I am and when he recognises me, the whimper that escapes him is my undoing.

I rush forward to set him free of his bindings and as soon as his hands are free, he clings onto me with, seemingly, everything he has. I reach for his bound ankles and free them, bringing them around my waist so he can hold onto me. The rag between his dry and chapped lips is ripped out after that and I hold him to me, rubbing my hand over his back as he sobs. The dry heaves must be hurting his throat, I realise as he coughs and tries to swallow but cringes.

"Come on, baby. Let's get you out of here." I turn back towards the hole in the ceiling, watching as one of the officers lowers a small wooden ladder into the cellar I'm standing in. I have to crouch so I don't hit my head against the support beams. A look around the room brings bile to my throat and I have to bite my tongue to keep the bitter substance down.

There's a body laying in one corner and I realise that the moldy and old smell doesn't come from the room itself but the body in that corner. It's probably the reason why Austin is so freaked out, he feared he would be next. I have to get him out of this room and this house, far away from its owner and other... occupants.

Climbing the ladder slowly to make sure I don't scrape Austin against any of the edges, I finally bring us out of that hellhole. Luckily, one of the officers has already thought to remove Justin the bloody bird from the room. Austin's face is hidden in my neck and I nod at the officer looking at me. He nods back and lets me pass. I walk into the night and see Justin already sitting in the back of the police car and yes, we came with a car. Mainly so that they wouldn't have to lead a possible criminal through the whole town where everyone could stare at them. It would've given the guilty culprit too many chances to run away too.

I stand there with Austin in my arms and wait for an officer to ask them whether or not we can leave. The one at the car sees me standing and looking around and comes over, telling me we'll have to go back to the station and give our statements. I sigh, wanting to just take Austin home and hold him till he stops shaking and then hold him some more.

I tell the officer we'll meet them there because there is no way in hell I'm letting Austin get in that car with that owl. This way I also get some alone time with Austin and I can do my best to calm him down without anyone interrupting. So, the whole walk to the station, I whisper sweet nothings into his ear and remind him every other sentence that he's safe now and there's no one that can harm him anymore.

His sobs have reduced to hiccups by the time we reach the station and he tries to mimic my breathing to calm down. The bell above the door jingles again and he flinches in my arms but calms down again when I run my fingers through his messy locks, tangled and matted with dirt.

The same lady is still at the desk and looks up as we enter. She rises from her seat and walks into a corridor leading somewhere, coming back after a few moments with a blanket in her hands. She hands it to me and points me towards the chairs lined up against the wall. I nod in thanks and she smiles before resuming her post at the desk.

I sit down on one of the chairs and it creaks under me, for a moment I fear it breaking under our combined weight but the chair keeps itself together and I relax a bit, leaning onto the backrest. I shake the blanket a few times to unfold it and then wrap it tightly around Austin. It proves to be difficult because he simply does not want to let go of me. I wrap my arms around him over the blanket so that it stays in place at least somewhat. The blanket is a little worn and scratchy but it hopefully does its job of warming Austin up.

Looking around the small room, I try to figure out a way to get something for Austin to eat and drink. There's a water dispenser in one corner, with plastic cups stacked on it. "Let's go get some water, hmm?" I ask him softly so I don't startle him and he thinks for a moment before nodding shakily. I stand us up and take the few steps needed to reach the machine. I fill a cup halfway and sit down on the chair next to the dispenser. Offering Austin the cup, he comes out of his hiding place in my neck and takes it, downing the water so fast some of it dribbles down his chin. "Slow down, honey. The water's not going anywhere." I fill the cup again and give it to him. He takes my advice and drinks slower this time. After finishing the drink, he lays down on my chest again and closes his eyes, exhausted. Can't blame him, I would be too after an ordeal like that.

I rest my chin on the top of his head and let him have his rest until the officers come. Austin needs me to be calm so I am, I can freak out later...