It was impossible to get to sleep.

Matt's hurt eyes and sad face battered your heart and your mind like angry waves pounding the beach. But there was nothing that could be done about that. There was nothing you wanted to do about it. He had hurt you so badly that you knew you wouldn't be able to forgive him. Dropping out of sight the way he did was bad enough. But running straight into another woman's arms had made it worse. Maybe he was telling the truth when he said he got scared because of his feelings for you. But it didn't matter to you anymore. Matt didn't matter to you anymore.

Flipping over in the bed, still wrestling to blot his face out of your mind, you almost missed the sound of the knock on the door. When the pounding came the second time, you sat up in the bed, eyes wide. Even before you heard Matt calling your name from the other side of the door, you knew it had to be him. You sat quietly in the bed and waited for him to get tired of knocking and go away. There was nothing he could say or do, that would erase the hurt and mistrust that had been planted in your heart like a deviant seed. So you determined to wait him out. After a long agonizing fifteen minutes during which you were sure all your neighbors had been woken up, Matt finally gave up.

The long sigh had barely slipped out of your lips when you heard the loud banging on your bedroom window.

"What the hell?" You threw back the covers and padded barefoot to the window. Matt's anguished face peered back at you through the glass as he was raising his hand to rap on the glass one more time.

"Please." He mouthed the words. When you didn't respond right away, Matt opened his mouth as wide as he could and took in a deep breath, a clear indication he was planning to start yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Ok. Ok." You shushed him with your hands and lifted the window. The cold night air rushed through and sent a chill up your bare legs. "Get in here." You dragged him by the shoulders through the window and over the sash. You were still so angry at him you didn't even want to give him the dignity of letting him walk through the front door.

When Matt hauled himself to his feet and stood smiling before you, the first thing you wanted to do was slap his face. But before you could say or do anything, he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it on the chair beside him. You opened your mouth to give him a huge piece of your mind, but the held up one finger.

"Wait." He turned and shut the window.

He swung back around and his eyes stared into yours for a second before sliding down to take in the rest of you. Wearing only a tank top and panties, you folded your arms across your chest, angry and embarrassed. Matt's eyes slowly rose back up to your face.

"Please." He begged with his lips and his eyes.

Your hesitation was all he needed. Matt stepped forward and grabbed your face in his hands, pressing his cool lips firmly to yours. As the kiss deepened, his lips warmed and you found yourself responding, unable to resist. When his tongue slipped into your mouth, you swirled your tongue around his and pulled it deeper into your mouth. The taste of him was sweet and delicious and your hands came up to snag the front of his shirt and draw him closer to you. A deep groan escaped Matt's lips and he began pressing his thighs against you, his erection hard against your groin. Not taking his mouth away from yours, he moved his hands down and grabbed your waist, pushing you backwards onto the bed.

The laugh that flew from your lips as you landed on the bed was unexpected and Matt pulled away to smile into your face. His eyes were sparkling with excitement and you could feel his breath warming your face like the summer sun. He slid his hands up your waist and stroked you gently as he moved over you. His thumbs began to stroke your peaked nipple in lazy circles and you threw your head back, enjoying the moment. But when your eyes closed, you saw a vivid picture of Matt and the girl at the café, his thumb sliding down to stroke her nipple.

"Get off me!" You suddenly yelled and pushed Matt off of you.

"What? Wait." He tried to hold on to you but you were jerking and kicking beneath him and he had to move away to keep from getting seriously hurt.

Crouching on your knees on the bed, you shook your head angrily at him and grabbed the top blanket to cover your legs and chest. Even with the tank top still on, you felt so naked and exposed and vulnerable in front of him. He wasn't the man you thought he was if he could jump from one woman to the other like that. You went from being angry at Matt to being angry at yourself for almost letting yourself give in to him.

"Matt, you need to leave." Your voice was quivering with hurt and anger.

"I can't leave like this. Let me talk to you, please." He dropped to his knees beside the bed and laid one hand on top of the blanket, directly on your knee.

Holding back your tears, you felt the heat from his hand on your leg and you wanted him so much you thought your frustrated scream might bolt out of you. Your mind warred between remembering the taste of him in your mouth and remembering his arms around that other girl.

"Let me say one thing and then I'll leave." Matt pressed his hand down on your knee and the tingle shot all the way up your leg. You pressed your thighs together under the blanket trying to calm yourself.
"One thing." Your voice was still shaky and you hated yourself for your weakness.

"I can't erase what I did. I was wrong and I acted like a fool." He came up off his knees and sat carefully on the edge of the bed. You didn't move toward him but you didn't move away either. "I've wanted to kiss you so many times but I was afraid it would push us too far and I didn't want you to think that's all I wanted from you." Matt nudged himself a little closer. "I do want that, I always have. But I want everything with you. I want all of you." He whispered and leaned in to place a soft kiss on your cheek. "I want all of you." He whispered directly in your ear.

When Matt stood up and grabbed his jacket, you didn't know what to do. You wanted to trust him and you wanted to start over with him, but you couldn't move. Watching him pull on his coat and turn to the window, you pulled in your bottom lip and bit down hard to keep yourself from crying. Matt pushed open the window and lifted one leg over the sash.

When he turned back to look at you, he was half in and half out of the room. You couldn't stop yourself from smiling at this crazy, funny man. When he saw your smile, Matt's face broke into a smile so genuinely happy that your pounding heart slammed into your throat. You started to pull the blanket away from yourself and move toward him, but Matt stopped you with an upraised hand.

"I love you." He said quietly. "I want us to start over. And I need you to trust me again. Can we do that?"

The words stuck in your throat so all you could do was nod your head yes. Matt climbed the rest of the way out of the window and then stuck his head back in to say one last thing.

"You really should lock this window. There are all kinds of crazy people wandering around out here."
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Coming up is Chapter 5, the final chapter of "Trust".