Serana: this... stinks...

Y/n: I mean... you stink aswell...

Serana: you fucking wot mate?

Y/n: nothing

—————
After walking in a goddamn maze.

Y/n: I swear to fuck if I see one more elf in this damn sewer I might start tweaking...

Serana: you have a schiz all the damn time anyway... because trauma.

Y/n: I am not crazy! What's that damn ringing!?

Serana: hm...

Y/n: maybe a little bit crazy...

Sheogorath: I like crazy people~

Y/n: bruh you literally have me inside you... wait

Sheogorath: hehehe...

Serana: I'll get the spray

Sheogorath: no fuck off

After awhile of walking they reach a wooden door.

Y/n: now, if I knock on this door I better see an old git on the other side...

Serana: if it is I'll wear a cowprint bikini...

Y/n tenses up and he comedically turns into a jojo bizarre adventures animation.

Y/n: for whatever outer being is out there please...

Y/n: knocks on the door and he hears a voice from the other side.

Esbern: hello I'm Esbern what the fuck do you want...

Y/n: FUCK YEA-!!!

—————

Esbern: so the Alduin the dragon milf returning huh?

Y/n: apparently- the dragon huh?

Esbern sips a cup of tea.

Esbern: i may be old and senile but I know a milf when i see one.

Serana: on Molag bals panties?

Y/n: why do I exist?

Esbern: take me to the bitch- I mean... to Delphine...

Y/n: she is a bitch

Esbern: thank the eight you think so aswell.

—————

Delphine: hello Esbern my old friend...

Esbern: sup big bitch

Y/n: I wanna go home and see Serana in a cowprint bikini....

Serana: I was pulling your leg...

Y/n: you'll be pulling my third leg in a minute if you don't hold onto your word...

Serana: on god?

Esbern: we have to find the old blades hideout Dragonborn...

Y/n: I know where that is...