"I-I-I I wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn't know how to bring it up." You stammered, pulling yourself into a standing position with great effort. Your head was pounding, dull peeping noise ringing inside your ears. Your sight was slightly blurring too, "I-I know this is a bad moment, I don't know it just slipped out-"

"S' fine, Chickie, calm down first." Jungkook interrupted, voice not giving away what he was thinking in the moment. His hands found their way back around your waist, steadying you as he led you past the prowler corpse, back to your hide out.

Your feet were unsteady and you felt nauseous, but besides that you were still very conscious - a little too skittish maybe, "No, for real Kook, I'm so sorry for b-blurting it out like this." God, your head hurt. And your back. 

"Chickie, it doesn't matter right now." You just wanted to know what he was thinking in this moment.

His dull 'oh' from earlier hadn't given away much.

Only when you made it out of the alley were you able to see his face - he looked sort of glum, thoughtful. 

"Kook, this- we don't have to go there." You went cross-eyed for a second, shaking your head quickly, surprised, "Uh- and- and also, Namjoon said he doesn't know if it's a real thing. S' just r-rumors he heard eek-"

Jungkook had swept you off the ground wordlessly, pretty much just throwing you over his shoulder to get you up the stairs, fully knowing that you were not currently able to climb them, "Jeez, you sure are a handful, kiddo."

"Don't call me that." You mumbled. He hadn't called you that in so long. You thought you were over the 'talking to Y/N in a belittling way' a long time ago.

"Then don't get yourself into situations like that anymore!"

"Th-That's not the point right now!"

"It is! Chibi, you clearly hit ya head a little too hard, your eyes keep rollin' to the back of your head!"

He threw you onto the dusty, old mattress of the hide-out, your body bouncing up and down from the impact. This had not been good to your back, "Ow." You breathed out.

He sat down next to you, back propped up against the headrest. You allowed yourself to close your eyes for a moment, Jungkook staying dead silent next to you - you couldn't even hear him breathe.

"So?" You started.

"So?" He echoed. You could feel him shuffle in his spot.

"I..." Your eyes remained shut and you inhaled deeply, "Okay. Jungkook. Before I left Yongsan Station, Joon told me about this possible refugee on Jeju Island. He said that, although they aren't sure wether it really exists, they'll check it out and I promised him I'd meet him there." You explained, holding your breath when you finished.

It was silent for a long while, only sounds coming from the howling wind outside. Jungkook didn't talk, didn't move and didn't even seem to breathe.

"Okay." He just said after an eternity.

"Okay? What do you mean okay? What do you want to do? How would you feel if there really was one-" You'd turned around agitated, a flash of pain cursing through your body as soon as you moved, "-fuck."

Jungkook's hand was on your shoulder quickly, gently pressing you down into the mattress, "Shh, don't move Chibi. Relax. Your head hurts, right? Don't worry about me right now. Sleep."

The way he talked reminded you of the beginning of all of this, when you had just met him. He had used these short, one word-ish sentences when he talked (and he'd talked a lot). Over time he got used to your talking pattern and you assumed these short sentences were what he'd gotten to hear from his higher-ups usually, thus copying them subconsciously.

It didn't sit right with you that he wanted to avoid the topic like this, but he was right - your head felt like it was about to explode, constant hammering behind your skull echoing through your ears, "Make sure to get me some water." You muttered, before rolling together and forcing yourself to shut off any thoughts.

___

Jungkook eyed her sleeping form, rolled together like a little baby kitten next to him, forehead pressed against his upper thigh.

When had they slept this close together last? During winter in Yongsan, probably. Still, Jungkook's mind didn't provide him with fuzzy blankets, cold noses and stiff muscles but the calming drumming of raindrops against a car window and the comforting weight of his little companion on top of him, while she was snoring peacefully.

He sighed deeply, hand reaching out to stroke through her messy hair. He'd looked forward to traveling around with her again. Somehow, in his idiotic brain, they'd been doing this for the rest of their lives; Running away from prowlers together, fighting them, going for supply hunts and falling asleep together in some improvised hide out. 

But of course, of course I couldn't go on like this for long. Y/N wasn't made for this kinda life. She grew up in a normal town, with a normal family as a normal girl. An although to him she was the most exceptional, he knew very well that she needed this kind of normal -because it meant stability and safety, something that he was afraid he couldn't give her on the long run.

He had already needed follow her around tonight, as she decided to leave so late in the evening. Knowing that it was way too dangerous but not wanting to force her to stay where he could protect her easily.

His eyes fell onto her face, onto the slight frown between her eyebrows. She looked as if she really was in pain.

"I don't wanna disappoint you, Chickie," He whispered, hand carding through her hair, gently tracing over her cheekbone and jaw.

If the refugee was a real thing... would he be able to protect her there? Could he even stay with her there?

And there was of course still the possibility that the whole refugee didn't exist.

"I'll figure something out on the go." He breathed, leaning down until his face hovered closely above hers, "It sucks that I alone can't be enough for you, but for now I'll try to get you to Jeju." 

He pressed a soft kiss onto the top of her head, lips remaining there for a moment until he leaned back and pulled the dusty blanket over them. 

___

double update 

SURPRISE AND HAPPY 8TH ANNIVERSARY

xx