I had to have been in here for hours now. Had Kaz and the others left with Yul-Bayur yet? Had they left me here? Were they dead? No, they could not have died yet. They were out there somewhere.

No guard had come for me yet and I felt as if I would be left here to freeze to death. My skin had taken on a greenish hue and was slowly becoming blue, I would die soon. I kept trying to warm myself but all that happened was I grew colder, I tried to stand but could not get up. 

Eventually, he came. 

"You must be the  child of the Phoenix?" a man dressed in a cloak tied with a wolf pin asked me, "Maybe. Shall we cut to the chase and have you kill me already?" He let out a menacing laugh that made me even colder, I curled up tighter in the ball I had put myself in. "Kill you? No, no, no, we want to use you to take down the rest of your kind." 

"I'd kill myself before I do anything for you." He gestured for the two other druskelle, they entered the room and grabbed for me. I knew exactly what happened next. I'd be forced into something I never wanted with no escape whether it was a quick fuck, slow fuck, or whatever the fuck he wanted me to do for him it was never going to happen. The moment they grabbed me wings of fire sprouted from my back and they started screaming. They tried to run but were ashes before they could do anything. "Get out of my way or you die too." He pulled out a vial of something and rushed for me. I side stepped but he grabbed my wrist. My wing moved with me and his cloak caught on fire. This distracted him enough and I ran as fast as I could.

I heard bells go off and they sent knives through my head as they rang loudly. I saw as a druskelle came after me, "I remember you." I did too, he was extra forceful when I attended my first Hringkralla. I remembered all of them, and all of them would burn.

"Maybe now, but there won't be an after for you." I extended the wings I had been granted by my God to save myself and watched as he was engulfed in flames, the screams were music to my ears. I ran past him immediately, I was in the prison block so I may be able to find them or Yul-Bayur, or both, either way I get what I want. 

I checked every cell looked for any sign of anything and all I saw was cold, pale, almost dead people. Was this where they held infernis? In this freezing cold abyss? I wanted to save them, I wanted to get them home to their families or to safety, but I couldn't. I couldn't be this hero, this saviour who would save my people. I thought I could maybe go while the war was raging, I thought of Alina struggling to fight against the General and then I'd swoop in with my wings and we would fight him together and go down in history as saviours. I thought that if I came back and fought for Ravka, then maybe I would no longer be the monster I was painted as.

I suppose that is what I have to be. Especially now when my God has given me the strength to survive. Maybe I would burn it all down, the world could maybe be reborn afterwards. 

~

I continued running, I found a stair well and found that I was on the lowest sector. I suppose it would be colder here. I ran up the stair well, my wings trailing behind me and I felt as if my heart had grown a tether, like it was leading me to something. 

I made it to the fifth floor and whatever coldness I had erased entirely when I saw Kaz. We were five steps apart. He looked exhausted, more than he already seemed. "Kaz." I took another step and I wanted to burst with tears as he also stepped closer. "Your alive?"

"You doubted I wasn't?" 

He smirked, "Not for a second."

 I smiled at him and I wiped my eyes, "Where are the others?" 

"Hopefully, the roof of the embassy." and with that Kaz shoved me out of the way and I noticed a Fjerdan behind me. He'd shot a bullet and I noticed how it just skimmed Kaz. Kaz lunged for the man and tore the gun from his hand. I would have sent a burst of flame but I watched as Kaz punched the man in his pressure points. The man fell down in seconds. I looked at him shocked, how was he managing this without his cane? It must be pure adrenaline. "Thank me later." He said with a smirk. I shook my head as I smiled and blushed because of him. "Come on, we're already late." Kaz? Late? What the hell?

"What were you doing up there?" I asked.

"Looking for you." He said it in a way which to anyone else would sound honest, to me, it sounded like a lie. It was like how he could recognise me in the darkness when no one else could, I could recognise him too. 

~
We made it to the embassy and before they started asking questions Kaz was immediately brought up. We followed, and then the questions started.

 The first question was about Kaz's whereabouts. Kaz and Nina had split, which was obvious. Kaz told them what he had told me. "You jeopardized the mission for her?" Inej asked with a wince, she looked to her feet and I saw how the rubber of her shoes had melded into her skin. It was disgusting to say the least. Her feet were blistered and grotesque and the rubber seemed a part of her. "She's necessary." My heart skipped a beat, I swear I had to get a grip. I know I'm needed, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Just because Kaz said I was needed doesn't mean my heart has to back flips. I saw Nina smirk at me and I stuck my tongue out at her.

Inej put her foot to the floor and her leg gave out and she fell to the floor. I moved like lightning to her side. "What happened when you were caught?" she asked as Jesper started to remove the rubber on Kaz's command. "I was put in what amounts to an ice bath, almost drugged by Jarl Brum, then escaped to find my knight in shining armour." I smirked at Kaz and he rolled his eyes. "Sounds like a fun time." 

"It was. I grew wings and flew out of there like a phoenix."

"Well you are the child of one." she said, mockingly.

"And it seems like you played with fire and got burned."

"Yes, well, be glad I did because otherwise we're not getting paid."

"Saints forbid that." I moved closer to her, "Kaz would go mental." We both laughed and I embraced my best friend as Jesper removed the final bit of rubber. 

"On a serious note," Nina began, "What's our situation?"  she asked Matthias. I knew the elderclock had begun to chime, which was probably because of me escaping and not killing all of them, but at that point I wanted to get out of there and back to my friends. "This is yellow protocol, a sector disturbance."

"Meaning?" Jesper asked.

"My guess is they think someone is attempting a prison break. This sector is already blocked off from the rest of the Ice Court, so they'll authorise a search, probably try figure out who's missing. They'll also be on high alert for her." He points to me. 

I stand at attention, "Then they can burn with the other men I killed." 

"They'll find the people we knocked out in the holding areas." Said Wylan, "We need to stop looking for Bo Yul-Bayur and leave." How could he say that? We're probably trapped in anyway, we might as well get what we came for. That way, if we actually succeed in getting out, we can get paid. "It's too late." Matthias started, thought so. "If they think a prison break is in progress the checkpoints will be on high alert. They're not going to let anyone just walk through." 

"We could still try." Jesper pleaded, "We get Inej's feet patched up -"

Inej tested her soles on the gravel, "My feet are fine, my calluses are gone, though." Oh, shit. 

"Can't you try?" Jesper asked me. "I could, but I'm not Inej. I can climb a building and hop a roof. I can break into buildings silently. But I can't do what she's just done, especially not with how weak I am after those prisons." Jesper frowned and I felt a pang of guilt. I was ashamed I wasn't good enough. "Why don't we bash a few party goers and leave dressed in their finest?"

"Past the embassy and two checkpoints?" Matthias questioned him. Jesper tried to say something and I grew irritated so I interrupted, "They'll be on high alert for me more than anything. My eyes can't be tailored, I have my scar. There is no escape through those checkpoints. Only through another way." 

"Agreed." Nina said, I smiled at her. I was glad someone was on my side. "Besides, I want to find Bo Yul-Bayur and I'm not leaving without him." She sounded incredibly adamant, and she kind of reminded me of Zoya in that moment. She sounded like a soldier with a task to complete. "Whats the point?" Said Wylan,  "Even if you get to the White Island and find him. Jesper's right: We need to leave." 

"What do you think, Kaz?" I asked him. He'd be the one they'd listen to. He's the reason Jesper, Inej, and I got in and out of the Little Palace. He's the reason Matthias is out of Hellgate. He's been the expert strategist and puppet master for all of this. They would listen to him. 

He didn't have time to answer, "It wouldn't matter." Said Matthias, "They've added a new check point." He pointed to a crowd of delegates. "I know a way." Inej states.

"We cut through the checkpoint and enter with the delegates." She pointed below to where two groups of people had entered the rotunda and were shaking the mist from their clothes. The girls from the House of the Blue Iris were easily noticeable, so were the Men of the Anvil. "The West Stave delegations are starting to arrive. We can get in."

"Inej -" Kaz and I said in unison. Not only was it risky for me but it was risky for her too. We were her best attractions. If Heleen was here - I didn't even want to think about the repercussions. "Nina, [N], and I can get in." she continued. She straightened her posture, and she seemed fearless to me. The girl that was afraid and wanted her parents seemed as if a faint memory. This was a fucking survivor, "We can get in with the menagerie." I will forever curse those damn words.

~

Kaz looked as if he wanted to burn this Ice court down. "You know the uniforms." Inej starts, "Heavy cloaks, hoods. Enough to conceal faces." She gestures to me. "It will be all the Fjerdan's see. A Zemini Fawn. A Kaelish Mare." Not real girls. People with no choice but to please them. "A Suli Lynx." She swallowed, "A Phoenix." I replied, the taste of the words were bitter on my tongue. "That place is reserved for you."

"She got a look alike recently, without the scars. They don't get the Phoenix child but they get something to fulfill their fantasy of conquering me." That was how the girl had explained it to me when I saw her on East Stave one day in the year between Ravka and now. I was confused but I was also worried. Business had gone down for Heleen once Inej and I had both left. She had amber eyes, close enough to my ones of the brightest fire, so she had been chosen. I thought it was funny how men had those fantasies, fire was not an element that was conquered. It was the conqueror.  "it's a risk." Said Kaz.

"Then what would you like us to do?" I asked him. 

"What job isn't?" Inej rebuked. 

"Kaz, how are you and Matthias going to get through?" Nina asked, finally. Kaz was getting bombarded with questions and I found it funny. I smirked and he scowled at me. "We might need you for locks, and if things go bad on the island, I don't want to be stranded. I doubt you can pass yourselves off as members of the menagerie." 

"That shouldn't be a problem. Helvar's been holding out on us -" I looked to Matthias. 

Kaz had said that if there was a problem with the bridge they'd get the royals out which meant there was another way. Matthias explained there was and Kaz had come up with his plan. We'd trigger Black protocol, the one that we thought would mean certain death, but apparently not and hopefully things will all go to plan. I trust Kaz and he's gotten us out of the most secure place in Ravka, so I'm sure we can get out of the most secure place in Fjerda.

We'd be separated again, though. I'd be with Inej and Nina. And we'd make our movements according to the chimes of the Elderclock. I was afraid, if I was being honest. The only reason I didn't burn this place down with everyone inside it was because of my friends. It would be a lot easier though. 

A/n - I know these apologies happen often but again, I'm apologising for not updating. I have been insanely busy with college, I am currently mentally and physically unwell, and it was my birthday like a week ago and I was insanely busy during that time. I hope you can forgive me and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.