I knew I was acting weird for the rest of the time James had been visiting.

I knew it, but I just pretended like it was something that had been there all along. I never mentioned James' new boyfriend that I had found out about. Not once, because I knew if I did bring it up, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from falling apart. And this time, James would notice because he wouldn't be distracted by the person he was falling for.

Being in love truly makes someone become blind to the things right in front of their faces.

Like how being in love makes you blind to anything that could possibly go wrong. Then it'll happen right before your eyes and you'll be left in pain. A pain of a heart that would never ever be the same.

So, when the time came to say goodbye to James, I was more than happy to see him off. Unlike all the times I've had to say goodbye to him before.

"You've been a little weird lately," he said with a small, sad smile, "Like, weirder than usual."

"I guess I've just been feeling down lately," I murmured, "But next time you see me, I'll be back to my cheery self." No, you won't, a voice somewhere in my mind said.

And that was true.

I wasn't going to be my normal self . . . because there was no going back to normal.

Then, with an awkward goodbye and an even more awkward half-hug-thingy, James headed off into the crowd of the airport.

And I let myself break a little bit more.

***

"Oh, darling," Daisy cooed, pulling me into a comforting hug, "It was really that bad?"

"You've been in love before, right?" I asked with a small sniffle, "So you should know how much it hurts, don't you?"

"I do . . . " she murmured, pressing a sweet kiss to my forehead, "And the first one always hurts the most."

I let out a depressed sigh, "I don't like being in love."

"No one likes being in love with someone who doesn't love you back," she said to me in a gentle voice, "And I was so sure he felt the same."

"Sometimes, we want things to happen so much that we overanalyse every little thing and turn it in favour of us," I stated sadly, "Desire makes us blind . . . just as blind as love does."

"I'm sorry," the brunette girl apologized, hugging me even tighter, "I shouldn't have butted in . . . you even told me that you two were only ever going to be friends."

"You just wanted me to be happy," I said, "That's what friends are for. And in that sense, you did nothing wrong."

Daisy pouted at me, "I don't deserve you."

"But I say you do."

***

"Connor!" my little brother exclaimed, attacking me in a hug, "It's great to see you again!"

"It's nice to see you too, baby bro," I greeted him, ruffling his hair with one of my hands.

He grinned happily at me, "So . . . do you have a boyfriend now?"

The smile on my face fell at that, "I didn't get a chance to ask him . . . I found out he was already seeing someone."

"Oh . . . "

Then, there was a distant shout, "What did I tell you?! Being in love only ends up in pain!"

"So . . . I'm guessing Oliver is still anti-dating."

Caleb just nodded slowly at that, "Um, yeah. He's still not over Ella. Like, at all."

"Good to know."