A/N: Life is hard. I apologize for being gone. I'm not sure when I'll be back again, but I hope this holds you down until then.

Anyways, I have been slowing down greatly on this story because I am saving up to make the cover for Book Two. I also have been preparing myself for the really sad endings that come to every Organization XIII member. I hope you...enjoy.

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"So what am I supposed to do?" You asked Luxord again. You scratched your head, not quite sure what he was getting on with his gambling talk. Luxord sighed before explaining again in a different way.

"Hide the coins, undo the curse, unleash the heartless on Sora. It's elementary." Luxord rolled his eyes. You furrowed your brows then waved a finger in his face, but it didn't look as intimidating as you thought it would given that the boat the two of you were on was rocking like no tomorrow. It looked more like you were horribly conducting a bad tune to his face.

"Last I checked, I was third in charge of the Organization. You're lucky to have me. Using me for something so elementary is useless." You scoffed, letting the power once again get to your head. But something was still bugging you inside. Something was telling you that fighting Sora wouldn't bring back Roxas...or anyone else...like you had hoped.

"You give a girl a key and a rank and suddenly she's the ace." Luxord muttered under his breath. "Just hide these coins." He threw you five coins then shooed you off to hide them within the world. You did so with haste by throwing the coins to a few of Luxord's nobodies, then reported back to the Gambler of Fate when they had disappeared.

"Done, now what?" You asked.

"You can leave now." Luxord said. "Also, that's cheating."

"Really? That's it? I don't get to stay and talk to Sora or fight or anything?" You complained. "And it's not cheating! It's such a simple task you could have asked them to do in the first place."

"We need him alive." Luxord answered before creating a dark corridor. "Now please, leave. I'm well off on my own now. Your help is not needed here." You snorted before leaving, the cool air of the darkness hitting the skin on your face. The portal closed behind you but you felt something amiss.

"Who's there?" You asked. No one replied. You felt helpless and opened an entrance to leave the darkness. Behind you stood a familiar silhouette that you never noticed. It decided not to follow you.

Your heartless smiled as she watched your back leave the darkness. She was so close. She was almost ready.

-----

You sat in Zexion's library, hiding from your friends. You didn't want to face Saix and tell him the truth about your thoughts of betrayal. You also didn't want to lead Axel on because...what if you changed your mind? You needed time to think about your role in the organization and if you wanted to stay here.

But where else would you go?

You ran your finger past the many shelves, touching multiple book spines. It ran down smoothly until a book that stuck out messed with your pattern. You looked at the red book and tried to push it back into place, but something was in the way. You took the book out to see another book behind it. You took the small black book out and replaced it with the red one.

"What is this...?" You said before opening it to a random page. You flipped through and realized that every entry was dated. You eyes widened as you flipped to the front page.

'Zexion's Journal' It read. You gasped and traced your fingers over the letters. You read a few of the first pages which contained research about Nobodies. You skimmed a few pages until you began to hit the final few entries. Something had caught your eye.

'My dearest [Y/N], I hope that by now you have seen this before it's too late.' You traced your name with your finger, imagining Zexion's voice reading the words. 'The organization is corrupt. We are all puppets to its leader. He mustn't be trusted. Please, make the right decision. I trust your intuition. I promise, you'll enjoy the outcome.'

"I'll enjoy the outcome?" You questioned. You flipped to the next page but there was nothing left. "What does he mean? Why couldn't he tell me right then and there?" You fell to your knees and watched as a few teardrops fell onto the page, ruining the ink.

"Trust your intuition..." You murmured. "Puppets..."

"Xemnas is using us." You winced, there was only one person you could trust with this newfound information.

-----

'I have to find him...where could he be.' You thought as you wandered the halls. Before it used to be so easy to find someone in this castle. Whether you were looking for Demyx, Roxas, Xion, or any of your childhood friends it was so simple. Now the castle was so empty and it felt like a wasteland. Xemnas' graveyard.

You looked to the portals to everyone's room. Yeah, it was a graveyard. You bit back tears as you looked over the portals of your now gone friends. If only you could bring them back. You bit your lip and continued on towards another corridor. Out of the corner of a hallway you caught a glimpse of red.

"Axel!" You shouted as you caught your friend's red hair in the hall. He turned around, eyebrow raised as you ran towards him.

"What's the hurry?" He said in a teasing voice.

"Axel, now's not the time to flirt. I know what's going on." You began to bring Zexion's journal out of your pocket. Axel's eyebrow didn't go down as he watched you. You hesitated for a second before putting it back in your pocket. You leaned close to Axel and motioned for him to crouch down due to the large difference in your height. You began to whisper into his ear. "I think it'd be best if we take this elsewhere."

Behind you was the sound of someone clearing his throat. You backed away from Axel to see Saix standing at the end of the hall. He walked a few steps before stopping right before you.

"What is going on here?" Saix asked. You bit your lip, not ready to tell him about Xemnas. Saix had always been so close to the Superior in order to find out anything about the mysterious girl, but you knew deep down inside he still had a loyalty to the menacing Nobody.

"Nothing." You said. "I just wanted to tell Axel a joke." Axel started nodding and giving a fake smile to his old best friend. Saix's demeanor did not change.

"You're a horrible liar." Saix then grabbed your arm and pulled you away from Axel. "Stay away from her." He said threateningly.

"Whoa, buddy. Is that a threat?" Axel suddenly became defensive. "She's my..." Axel trailed off as the past events of the last few months flashed in his brain. Whether you were toying with his feelings or not, it still felt so real. He then mentally slapped himself, knowing that he had lost you to Isa a long time ago. He knew that you didn't see him as any more than an old friend. But you seemed to hesitate about whatever that book was. Was this something you were keeping away from Isa? Someone who was rumored to be your lover?

Saix cleared his throat which brought back Axel to the present and reality.

"She's my friend." Axel finally finished. "Something you used to be. Also, that's a pretty toxic relationship you got going there." Axel motioned to Saix's grip on your wrist. Instead of loosening it, he brought you closer to him. You wriggled out of his grasp and scoffed.

"I'm not a possession." Axel smirked as Saix looked surprised. You then turned to Axel. "My relationships are none of your business. I thought I could trust you with something, but I guess you're not ready."

"Something you can't tell me about?" Saix questioned. He seemed hurt in his eyes, but his face showed anger. His fists were clenched which you took notice of greatly.

"Stand down, subordinates." You then turned away and walked from the scene, tears began to streak down your face. You hated yourself. You hated the situation you had brought about your friends. Being a Nobody was toxic and you just wanted to get rid of these negative emotions that had creeped into you the second your friends began to drop like flies. If only you could reverse the bad decisions you had made. It was the darkness that would creep in and out of your head, making you corrupt everything around you. You missed your friends...but you especially missed your trio with Isa and Lea back when the three of you ignored your true feelings.

'I promise, you'll enjoy the outcome.' You thought of Zexion's words as it made your tears fall faster. Anything was better than being a Nobody. Than being Xemnas' puppet.

"I have to help Sora."