We all sat in the chateau, nothing being said.

We all knew this day was coming, the day I had to go back to California to live with my dad.

We had all planned goodbye speeches but as we all sat with quiet tears flowing down our faces I knew none of those words would be exchanged.

"I'm really gonna miss you, Y/n." Pope finally broke the silence and I looked over to him. I stood up, opening my arms for him as he hugged me.

"Me too." Kiara added, coming over and wrapping her arms around the both of us.

"Me three." Sarah cried, joining in as well.

"Make that four." John B's arms wrapped us all in a hug as I peaked over Kiaras shoulder seeing JJ leaned against the wall with a blank expression on his face.

I knew this would hit him the hardest, we've been together for two years. Never going more than a few hours without one another. He was trying to shake it off, downplay it as if it didn't bother him but looking into his blue eyes I knew this was killing him.

He was by far going to be my hardest goodbye.

"Baby?" I asked, my voice soft. Everyone let go as we tried wiping our tears away but it was no use, they were only replaced with fresh ones.

"Hm?" He hummed, not taking his eyes off the floor.

"Do you still wanna drive me to the airport?" Last week when my mom and I had our fight he told me he wanted to be the one to drop me off and since she couldn't care less, she agreed. As long as I was out of her house she was happy.

He wanted to be the last one to hug me.

Last one to tell me he loved me.

Last one to tell me goodbye.

"Uh, yeah, yes." He straightened his posture and cleared his throat. Without saying another word he grabbed both of my suitcases and left the chateau.

"I don't want you to go." Kiara said quietly, "None of us do." I pulled her into another hug, squeezing her tight. I didn't know when or if I would be back so I wanted to remember every little detail of the pogues in these last moments I had with them.

"No more crying," I pulled away and wiped my eyes, "we're pogues guys, we always find our way back to each other. Even if we do get separated for a few years."

"You do have a good point." John B agreed.

"Just promise me something, all of you." My eyes scanned each of them as they nodded their heads, "Look after JJ for me?"

"Who's gonna look after you?" Sarah asked as she slid under her boyfriends arm.

"I can handle myself but JJ is gonna need all of you. He's gonna be stubborn and irritable and shove you all away like he does." I explained, which made them all nod in agreement, "Do not let him shut down."

"We promise, Y/n." Pope reassured and I tried my best to smile at them.

"Woogity woogity? One last time?" I held my hand out to them and we all did our handshake as a group, which only made me want to cry more.

Without another word we let our eyes say goodbye as I opened the front door of the chateau, seeing JJ sitting drivers seat in the truck. I hopped in the passenger seat and he put the car in drive, beginning our journey to the airport.

"You know I have to go, right? If I were to stay my mom would cut me off, I'd have nothing." I tried to explain to my boyfriend, he's already beginning to shut down, to push me away to manage his emotions his own way.

"I know." He replied quietly, "Hold my hand."

"Okay." I replied, slipping my hand onto the center console and into his. I closed my eyes as I tried to memorize what his hand felt like in mine so I'd never forget, "I love you so much, JJ..."

"I love you so much more." He said softly.

I looked to him, tracing his side profile with my eyes. Watching as his eyelashes fluttered every time he blinked. Looking at his lips that I've kissed a thousand times. I never thought I could love someone this much, only to have it torn away from me in what felt like the blink of an eye.

"JJ, we need to think realistically about this," I began, "I won't be back anytime soon and I know not being able to see each other will make us argue.."

"Please don't." He begged, finally letting tears brim in his eyes, "Don't do it."

"Baby, it's best for us both. I don't want to hold you back, what if someone new comes along and she's your person? I'll be all the way across the country, I just want you to be happy." I continued. My words were breaking my own heart. I didn't want to leave him or even think about him loving someone else but if you love something, set it free, if it comes back then it's yours to keep.

He stayed silent, clenching his jaw every few seconds and taking deep breaths, not allowing the tears to fall. I knew after he dropped me off he would be a mess. So would I.

The drive came to an end as we neared the drop off area at the airport. He parked the truck and got out, slamming the door behind him. I closed my eyes and sat in silence for a moment. He wasn't upset with me, he was upset I was leaving. I had to be strong for the both of us.

When I got out of the car I saw him getting my suitcases out of the back of the truck, setting them down onto the sidewalk. I walked over and looked up at him.

"I'm really gonna miss you, Maybank." I told him, referring to what I used to call him when we first met. For months him and I were on a last name basis, it quickly turned into our thing. I haven't called him 'Maybank' in years but right now it felt nostalgic.

"I'm gonna miss you too, L/n." I saw a tear roll down his cheek and stepped onto my tiptoes, placing one final kiss on his lips.

When I pulled away I grabbed the handles if my suitcases and turned around, fighting every urge to look back. With each step I took I felt pieces of my heart being chipped away.

"Don't go!" JJ's voice called out, making my body freeze and slowly spin around. His hands were in his hair with tears streaming down his face, he was no longer worried about wiping them away, "Fuck! Y/n, don't go!"

"JJ—"

"Stay for me." He pleaded, "I need you." In a few quick strides he was now standing in front of me, lifting his hands to my face, "All that talk on the way here about you thinking someone new is going to come along is bullshit and you know it. I need you, Y/n L/n, I need you every day, with me. You are the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and—" His cries made him pause, "damn it, don't go."

"My mom will cut me off." I tried reasoning with him. If I stayed I would have nothing, nowhere to live, "How will I live? Where will I live? Think about this..."

"I have, from the second you told me what happened. I've thought about it. You can work at The Wreck, live at the chateau with me and John B. I'll get a job, I don't give a shit what it is. I'll take care of you, let me."

Could we pull this off?

"My dad would have to sign papers to get me emancipated or it's dcs all over again." I said, referring to when the dcs was after John B.

"I'll call him myself, he likes me. Please, Y/n, stay. Stay for me. For us. The pogues."

"Okay." I exhaled, "I'll stay."

"Really!?" He exclaimed and I nodded my head. His arms went around me as he lifted me off the ground and spun me around in happiness, "Get this shit back in the truck. My girl is staying!" He cheered, grabbing my suitcases and quickly throwing them back in their place in the bed of the truck.

The whole ride back to the chateau all we could talk about was how we were going to surprise the pogues that I was staying.

Soon enough the time came. JJ walked in the front door, making himself look sad over the fact I was 'gone' while I snuck through John B's bedroom window.

Being as quiet as I could I crouched into the hallway, listening to their conversation for a second, "I can't believe she's actually gone." Kiara said.

"This place feels empty." Pope added.

"You guys want a beer?" JJ asked, following the plan.

"Your girlfriend is on a plane to the other side of the country and you want to drink?" John B laughed.

"Yeah, I'm depressed and shit. I need a beer." My boyfriend continued. I heard him get off the couch and come into the kitchen, seeing me crouched in the hallway I saw the smirk on his face.

As he opened the fridge door I snuck behind it and the moment it closed I jumped to my feet, "Thought you guys could get rid of me that easily!?"

"Oh my god!!" Kiara yelled, her eyes wide as she ran into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me. Following quickly behind, the rest of the pogues tackled me into a hug.

"How!? What!?" Sarah asked in disbelief.

"JJ, explain." I said, walking over to him as he swung his arm around my shoulders, my back pressed against his chest.

"I used my charm to get her to stay," He began explaining and I nudged him softly with my elbow, "Okay, okay, I cried like a bitch and begged her. If she would've said no I would've gotten on my knees."

"You are so whipped man." John B said with a smile on his face. I stole JJ's beer out of his hand and took a sip.

"Hope you don't mind another person living here cause the chateau is officially my home." I added.

"Whatever gets you to stay." I knew he'd be okay with it, we all practically live here anyway.

I looked back up at JJ, smiles on both of our faces.

I knew we would figure this out.

As long as we were together we would always figure it out.

______________

Off to sleep😴

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