16) 🙃 My last two brain cells when someone tells me sh*t i don't understand and I already asked them to explain it at least three times within the last minute or so-

^_^ -_- ^_^ -_- >_< -_- ^_^ -_- >_<

17) "You have one wish. What'll it be? Fame? Fortune? World peace??"

me: No. [narrows eyes] I want to watch the world burn...

GET RID OF THIN MINTS-

18) Nobody:

Me: *holding a belt* So uh... why'd you throw my chocolate away 'uh?

19) me: *holding a clipboard and a pen*

"Yeah- what was your name again?"

guy: "Uhh, Jacob... why?

me: *writing it down on my GUYS THAT HAD OR HAVE A CRUSH ON ME list*

"Ohh no reason. No. Reason. At. All."

20) When you're peacefully sitting by yourself relishing in your own loneliness but then some random person asks you a question-

>:( 😡😡😡

21) I remember the first time i ever opened Tiktok...

my immediate thoughts:

I can feel my braincells dying already-

22) Me after someone makes a joke and I respond with a blank face bc I don't get it so they have to break it down in order to explain it to me and they end up explaining it multiple times over but I'm scared of getting on their nerves and what I mean to say is that I get it but what I end up saying is:

"I still don't get it-"

23) Not that it matters, but I've figured out the secret:

No liquid carbs.

As long as you only drink water and nor any other liquid drink, you can eat like crazy and not gain much weight. It's a sacrifice, but all for the better if you're willing enough.

24) Someone: "why don't you know what's going on?!? Have you been living under a rock?"

Me, who doesn't watch the news:

25) Me explaining what happened to a higher-up after they discover something bad or wrong and I had nothing to do with it (it's not like I'm nervous or anything haha...)

https://youtube.com/shorts/jJ8EoUmJh8c?feature=shared

26) Watching meme videos:

/:

Watching meme videos after an intense study session:

:D

27) Someone: *uses me, an old soul, to make a wish* "I wish _____"

Me (after letting them know the wish will take time to manifest and won't happen immediately)

"Perhaps I can string up something in the higher realms for you... you know, get them to set everything up so your wish comes to fruition (: "

28) My sense of humor is dry, casual, and sarcastic, with the tiniest sprinkle of dark.

I make my comedic timings in the everyday events of things, seeing chances as they come along.

Well I guess you can say like, uhh... yea you saw this coming- Life is a joke.

29) Friendly reminder that wishes only happen when you're not paying attention and have your mind on something else.

Can't tell ya why, that's just how it works :/

30) I accidentally read "backup" as "breakup" and wondered who tf relationship fell apart 💀